And When I Die - Part 1 of 2 - Sinners

Episode Synopsis: Listen, y'all, this season finale was so cuh-RAY-zee that I don't even know where to start. Lafayette, possessed by Marni, tortures Jesus until he gives up his super-strong-Mexican-juju-magic, and then kills him. Jason tells Hoyt that he slept with Jessica, and Hoyt beats the crap out of him. Alcide has kicked Debbie out for good and asks Sookie (in a very roundabout way) if she will consider being with him so they can stay out of trouble together. Sookie turns him down, and then tells Eric and Bill that she can't choose either of them, either. For those of you keeping track, that's THREE hot men she turned down this episode. Bill and Eric murder Nan Flanagan and her guards, Alcide discovers that a vamp (Russell Edgington?) has broken free from his concrete prison, and Jason is visited by Vamp!Reverend Newlin. Ghost René warns Arlene that Terry and his old army pal are nothing but trouble. Sookie, Tara, and Holly call on Bon Temps spirits for help with Marni/Lafayette, and Antonia and Gran (!!!) appear to bring Marni to the other side. Debbie shows up to kill Sookie with a shotgun, but Tara jumps in the way and gets blasted. Sookie then shoots Debbie in the neck (ouch) before realizing that Tara is really not ok. And now, all I can say is "WHAT?!"

Lafayette is possessed by Marni. He is also possessed with a fierceness that mere mortals generally don't experience.

Please experience now his fierce kimono. I'm not digging the yellow track pants, but I love the kimono. Did Marni inherit some fashion sense when she took over his body??

GASP. Apparently not.

What IS that? I'll tell you. That is a muumuu, my friends. A MUUMUU. Lafayette probably owns the muumuu for comical, sassy, just-lyin-around-the-house purposes... either that or Marni possessed Lafayette and after killing Jesus (sob) made straight for the nearest hippie store for a shopping spree. Yikes, y'all.

King Bill has an unending supply of tailored suits. I like the gray tie on this one though...

...but as we all know, Bill and Eric are at their best when they're chained up to a stake and mostly naked. Well, maybe not chained to a stake. But definitely the mostly naked bit. Definitely.

Also, of COURSE poor Ginger went as a sexy nurse for Halloween. It's appropriate because she's been taking care of poor Pamsicle all season while Eric's been out tooting around with Sookie and fighting witches. Ginger probably only has one Halloween costume, actually, come to think of it.

Speaking of people with only one outfit.... Alcide is wearing the same plaid shirt we saw him in like six episodes ago. Sigh. Buddy, when are you gonna learn? Sookie isn't attracted to flannel. We all remember how well Sam fared with that tactic season 1.

Unfortunately, Hoyt is not doing so well either... Granted, these are his work duds, but when you look at what heartbroken Hoyt is wearing versus what Jason is wearing... you kinda can't blame Jess. Really.

Purrrrrrrr. So casual. So yummy.

And later on, a lil more skin from Mr. Stackhouse. Yes, please.

Jess shows up on Halloween lookin' like a sessy Little Red Riding Hood, and if Jason thought he would get away with being a Good Guy and Doing The Right Thing By Making Her Leave Without Them Doing Anything, he was sorely mistaken.

Booya.

Nan shows up in her biker bitchy glory, with a new leather jacket, a new armed and armored entourage, and a paranoia to rival ol' Russell's back in season 3.... But Bill and Eric don't want no revolution, so they cut the guards' heads off and stake the heck outta Nan.

Gross. Can't believe they finally took her out. As Eric said: "What a bitch."

Burning Down The House - Part 2 of 2 - BRB, Just Gonna Chill In The Sun

First, let’s get this out of the way: Arlene and Terry in their robes. Come on guys, can’t you switch it up just a little? The whole “Madam Butterfly” role playing game has got to feel stale. At least in his normal clothes, Terry looks rather fetching... for a gun toting Southerner who’s always one step away from a mental breakdown. Andy, you... well... you just keep doing what you're doing. Try and get off the junk, huh?

Oh look, we have a fashion challenge on our hands! Who wore it better: the drape edition. First we have Antonia, rocking a truly inspired hair care regimen. Girlfriend was into teased locks back during the Inquisition. Points for the hair, but demerits for the stained tarp she’s been rocking for centuries. I don't care if you're a ghost - figure it out. On the other hand, Marni's decided to update that whole “persecuted witch” look with a (surprise!) belted sheet and limp hair. Hmm, tough call ladies but, in my professional opinion, I’m going to say that Antonia wins. Why? She was burned at the stake when owning a hairbrush was a luxury meant for aristocrats... what’s Marni’s excuse? 

Speaking of excuses, here’s a pathetic one for a coven. Did Marnie swing by Berkley for a few freshmen before starting her little witch organization? This looks like the Invasion of the Crunchy Clan. Antsy about being held captive? Why don't you just magic up some more quinoa, sir?

Guess who hasn’t changed clothes because they’re in a hostage situation? Holly and Tara! It’s nice to see the ladies bond.

He might be concerned for his cousin, but Lafayette doesn’t let a little grief rain on his fashion parade. Girl, can we talk about the slippers? Comfort over style? Who do you think you are - Sookie?

At least in the unending parade of patronizing looks from Jesus, he manages to pull together a more subdued, yet fashionable look. That robe? It’s nothing to write a blog about...

 but darling sugar-pie honeybunch, those boots? Let’s get married, you sultry Latin ‘mo. I’ve even forgiven you for wearing cargo pants. Well, I’m still working on that but I promise I’ll get over it. Sorry, but they're never coming back. No matter how many GAP commercials you reference.

Of course, it’s better than your freaky tribal look. Ew. I hate ear stretchers.

Hoyt seems pretty stoked to have broken up with Jessica. Or, to have been broken up with by Jessica. Either way, he’s the most adorable mama’s boy I’ve ever met. Actually, I’ve had a crush on Hoyt since Season One. You may have noticed that I have a proclivity towards men of a larger nature. That’s why I think Hoyt, in this hideous ribbed v-neck, is far more attractive than Jason. 

Yeah, I said it - I’ll pause for a collective gasp. Jason, you going to be OK?

You guys, is he wearing yoga pants? That cut off at the calf? I don’t care if they’re sweatpants rolled up, they look like short yoga pants. Even for yoga, short pants are never a good idea. That’s why we have shorts. Repetition is the most effective learning tool.

Somehow, in this sea of American Apparel hoodies and scooping neck lines for men, I don’t have total confidence in our miniature Scooby Squad. Though it is slightly refreshing to see Lafayette without a head covering; too bad he has that dreadhawk thing going on. 

So, if you’re a supernatural being, and you know when weird things are happening, do you involve yourself in some way? Or do you shack up with a dirty trick who offers you the possibility of more V and a werebaby? Wait... don’t answer that... Debbie’s beat you to the punch.

Alcide wasn’t topless this week, even though Debs was pretty darn close. Shame. Even though he doesn’t do a bad job of filling out this plaid shirt, I’ve become accustomed to seeing some skin every week. Best part of this photo? The way Alcide dwarfs Sam; the man is a brickhouse!

So is that why Sam looks pretty distraught? I mean, he is sporting the same shirt as before, but it’s a nice shade of blue and the fabric seems to be all natural - what’s the problem? 

Oh. Right. The whole Tommy dying thing. Sorry Tommy, it was fun while it lasted (content edited for, you know, gross amounts of blood).

Just two episodes left! Brace yourself for next week friends - I have a feeling it's going to be over the top. Much like Marnie's belt was over her jacket.

Spellbound - Part 1 of 2 - Team Denim

Episode Synopsis: Wow. OK. SO MUCH HAPPENED THIS WEEK! Jason saved Jessica from the world's worst sunburn and then they totally made out. So then Jess dumped Hoyt, who hates her now, and fled to be with Jason, who also kicked her out. Harsh! Sookie and Eric drink each others' blood and spend most of the episode in a V-induced Valhalla winter wonder-sex-land. Lafayette is possessed by the Princess & the Frog ghost, who it turns out had her baby taken from her back in the day, and Lafayette/ghost steals Baby Mikey. Bill tries to compromise with Marnie/Antonia, but neither of them really meant it, and then everybody fights everybody! (Except for the werewolves, who decide to stay out of it). At episode's end, Bill saves Tara, Marnie/Antonia has Eric in her thrall, Sookie gets shot, Alcide saves the day and Debbie is totally going evil on us, I think.

So! Let's start this week with poor, poor Jess. Things don't go so well for the good-hearted strawberry blond vamp teen. Luckily, she has a number of cute outfits, starting with these adorable flats!

I also like her cuffed-up skinny jeans. She spends most of the episode in denim, actually. For the first little bit, she's wearing the same cute button-down that got last week's outfit of the week pick. And golf claps for her shiny, shiny hair. 

Also of note is her nail polish. It's like a dark bronze-grey that looks kind of goth, but kind of sweet - not unlike Jessica herself.

OK, it might be distracting to see her bleeding face, but just focus on the polish for a sec. Cute, right? (Note: as a fellow pale-skinned redhead, I'd like to mention that this is what I'd look like if I ran around outside without SPF 60. Practice safe sun, kids!)

After getting help from a blood "donor," Jess cleaned up and headed home to break up with Hoyt. In another pair of jeans, flowery tank (very Sookie-esque) and a cropped jean jacket.

Waaaait a minute. Shiny, gorgeous hair? Cropped jacket? Is Jess trying out for a role on Pretty Little Liars? You know, I think she'd fit in pretty well over in Rosewood. It might serve her well to get away from Bon Temps for a bit.

Also channeling PLL style this week is Lafayette, with his single feather earring!

Oh, Lafayette. #that'ssoaria

Lafayette, poor guy, is settled in for a sofa snooze in his bright blue Snuggie, when suddenly Princess Tiana appears! He's like, "Oh, hell no!"

That being said, once he was possessed by the ghost of Princess T, his pink boat-neck top and headscarf seemed fairly appropriate.

So ladylike!

Luna was also cute in jeans this week. Luuurve her flowery top (darker colours than Jessica's tank, but the cut and shape of it is still so Sookie. Maybe there aren't a lot of shopping options in Bon Temps).

Speaking of Sookie, well, as Kim noted in the mini-recap, she spent a lot of time naked this week. The first clothing-ish thing she changes into is... well... a fur blanket.

And Eric, of course. He's always an excellent accessory.

Sookie's khaki green jacket is ready for action later on, though, when she and her BF sign up to help the vampires fight. I would fight for this jacket:

(We're not going to discuss Eric's corduroy-collared jean jacket. Just focus on the pretty.)

Over in the land of Possibly Evil Babies, Terry and Mikey were rocking matching camouflage shirts this week:

So sweet! (Pay no attention to the Possibly Evil Doll lurking over Mikey's shoulder.)

Arlene was wearing her usual Merlotte's uniform (with a tragic pink fannypack that we also don't need to talk about). Her hairclip was... interesting... I guess?

I think it's like a grapeleaf shape. In tortoiseshell, this would have gone great with her red hair. In blueish purple? Not so much. But I'm going to cut her the usual amount of slack, what with the Possibly Evil Baby and her recently-burned-down-house. Girlfriend has had a rough time of it this season.

Jason was also in uniform for most of this week. But he spent a few memorable moments in this undershirt and jeans.

Other than Eric's romp in Drug-Induced-Siberia, this was the show's only other display of male upper body strength. BRING IN THE SHIRTLESS ALCIDE, SHOW! I mean, um... let's move onto Team Leather!

Cold Grey Light of Dawn - Part 1 of 2 - Fun in the Sun

Episode Synopsis: A whole lotta stuff is all about to hit the fan in Bon Temps, and the suspense is killing me. Well, actually, it's killing the vampires, or trying to... Marni is possessed by the spirit of Antonia, a vengeful Spanish witch from the 1600s, and she's adopted the distraught Tara into her circle of fun (not because Tara is a witch but because she was raped by a vampire, a fate which Antonia shared). Lafayette is a true medium, like Marni, and Jesus is convinced that Lala is the one to put a stop to Marni's crazy. Meanwhile, King Bill decides the only way to keep the vampires safe from Antonia's spells is to chain themselves with silver during the day. Jason and Jess are still thinking (read: fantasizing) about each other, and poor Hoyt is so confused that he's not even wearing plaid. Sookie and Eric finally get it on, but this whole Marni thing is really putting their love-fest on hold. Sam's brother Tommy skinwalked as Sam and slept with hottie shifter girlfriend Luna, and Arlene's demon baby Mikey is seeing this 1930's voodoo lady who sings in French (but Lafayette sees her too now, so maybe we'll finally get some answers).  

Although this week had a SEVERE shortage of cute sundresses, we do see a few uninteresting leather jackets (Vampire Diaries-style) and at least one American Apparel hoodie (Glee-style). Oh, Bon Temps, it's always a surprise...

King Bill's wardrobe has been updated since he became king, and this shirt -- while plain -- is a nice splash of color in the dark and generally pretentious decor of King Bill's house.

Later on, however, King Bill falls prey to the Uninteresting Leather Jacket syndrome and presents himself at Sookie's looking super uncomfortable (both about Sookie/Eric and about his jacket, I'd say).

Jason, although generally kind of a mess, manages to make his millionth plaid shirt look cute when thrown over his incredible washboard abs and sculpted torso, topped off with a "Made In Louisiana" trucker cap. Goofy? Yes. Still hot? Absolutely.

Also, I think he looks yummy in his cop uniform. Heh.

Jessica is seen wearing dark, slim cut jeans and some kinda sandal, with a pale blue shirt that compliments her complexion and hair really well, even if the shirt came from K-Mart. But this pic is mostly for her hair... girlfriend has luxurious locks, and I lurve it.

Jesus manages to set off the amazing color of his eyes with a denim (or cargo, can't decide) jacket. Go figure!

Lafayette looks like he came from a 90's music video in a black track jacket with red stripes and a yellow bandana... but his eyelashes are fierce, and he can do no wrong. You want more bling, you say? Well...

...here you go. Flipping burgers at Merlotte's requires more panache, obviously. The white scarf he's got has silver threads running through it, and he has a camo-print top on. The icing on this cake though is his vintage fan.

Booyah. So fierce.

The Princess and the Frog ghost that's following baby Mikey around shows up, and Lafayette doesn't quite understand that she's a ghost, or who she is, but at least he can see her and hopefully that means we'll find out what her agenda is soon. Meanwhile, her 1930's dress is simple but gorgeous and her hair is impeccable... she can't be all bad, right?

Everyone's favorite shapeshifting girlfriend Luna looks ferosh at work (watch out, fifth graders...Ms. Luna's a knockout!) even though she's furious with Sam for kicking her out after they slept together the first time. Only it wasn't Sam, it was Tommy...

Sam! I didn't even KNOW you owned a solid colored shirt! Goodness.

And back to the plaid. But here's the funny thing: even with all the plaid Sam Merlotte sports around town, I prefer this shirt to the plain one. Sigh.

Our boy Alcide has the most interesting leather jacket on this episode, a lovely cognac color which offsets his rugged appearance.

And even with the plaid peeking out, he still looks gorgeous. Although, Alcide, honey, that look of shock at walking in on Sookie and Eric isn't becoming... if she finds out you saw them, she'll be very upset, you know. Also, now Debbie thinks you're in love with her, so way to blow your own cover, man!

Finally, our puppy-dog-amnesiac Eric is sill wearing Jason's clothes... but this plaid (yes, Eric Northman in plaid!) looks INCREDIBLE on him. Maybe it's the amnesia. Maybe it's the fact that he and Sookie just did it in the woods (a lot). Who knows? But I LIKE IT.

I Wish I Was the Moon - Part 2 of 2 - Moonshadow

So, we've looked at this week's baddies. This week's heroes were kind of grey, too. It's reached that point of the season where it's hard to tell who's a good guy and who's a bad guy.

Well, we know Sookie's always a good guy. She started off the episode having the pretty yellow sundress from last week ripped off by Erik, but they were sadly interrupted. She then changed into this cute pink hoodie and jean shorts for the rest of the episode.

I like her red sneakers here, too. Did they cast Anna Paquin for her ability to look fabulous in shorts, or did they start dressing her in shorts because Anna Paquin looks so cute? This is a chicken and egg scenario, and I don't suppose we'll ever know.

Tara was also wearing bright pink this week... and no pants.

It's really quite bad-ass of her to grab a gun and answer the door without first putting on a pair of pants. But when it turns out just to be her girlfriend visiting from New Orleans, it all works out OK.

Especially because Naomi's zebra-print top kind of fits in with Lafayette's leopard-print decorating scheme.

I LOVE Naomi's bronze nail polish. What, isn't that what you were looking at when they started making out? ... Just me?

Check out Tara and Naomi, being a functional couple in their complementary outfits! This is the most normal relationship Tara's ever been in, right?

I don't love Lafayette's look here, but he's well outside of his comfort zone in Jesus' Abuelo's Mayan magic shack. I do love that Lafayette is still wearing false lashes. I think he'd feel naked without them.

But we don't have to see that track jacket or those jeans or the yellow bandana again. Ever. OK? Thanks.

Note: this is Sam, not Tommy-pretending-to-be-Sam. I know it can be confusing, because Real Sam is not wearing plaid this week. I can't hate on him too much, though, because he looks really good in these cowboy shirts and jeans. Carry on, shapeshifter.

To anyone who says that the men of Bon Temps all dress alike, I present to you, Alcide. Take note, Jason and Hoyt and Sam and Tommy: this is called a henley. They look especially great on men with extremely muscley torsos.

And if you're going to wear a plaid shirt? Try it with a retro 1970s-inspired brown leather jacket. Yum.

Now, I don't know where Terry and Arlene got these jackets after their house burned down, but I love them. Terry in this Member's Only jacket, comforting his pet armadillo? Priceless. And Arlene's crocheted hoodie looks nice and cozy, the sort of thing you'd want to wrap yourself up in after your possibly-demon-spawn burns down your house.

Poor Luna. She finally decides to take the plunge and date Sam on the exact same day that the role of Sam is being played by his psychopath brother. When she was like, "I know this isn't a mistake!" could she hear the True Blood fans around the world shaking their heads and saying, "Oh honey."

I agree with Kim's call on this as outfit of the week. It's totally my #2 pick and was really cute, for the 0.5 seconds that she was wearing it. Poor her.

Not much to report about Jessica's outfit this week, since the only thing she wore was her Merlotte's uniform. I just wanted to point out how pretty she is. Look at her hair! She is GORGEOUS! That is like, Pretty Little Liars hair! And, considering she was possibly the only waitress at Merlotte's that night (Arlene and Holly busy with their house fires and Sookie fired), she seems remarkably composed.

And Eric wore the sleeveless hoodie and board shorts for the 50000th time in a row. I still love him, even if his outfit is tragic and his haircut is borderline tragic. Look at the puppydog eyes! Even the vampire king couldn't bring himself to kill such a cute little guy.

So Bill's a bad guy... or maybe not? And Eric's a good guy... for now. By next week, I predict that some of these roles will be even harder to differentiate, especially if Marnie starts necromancing all of the vampires.

Can't wait!