Authority Always Wins - Introducing the Power Vamps

Soooo Tara's back from the dead -- against her will -- and is a super-violent-super-strong baby vamp. Sookie and Lafayette are wondering if they did the right thing to bring her back, and Pam is so worried about Eric still being gone, she starts having flashbacks from when she first met him. Alcide tells the pack to go sniff out a new pack leader, Luna kicks Sam out, then finds her daughter has turned into a Siberian husky wolf pup. Jason is still confused about the friends-with-benefits arrangement with Jessica, who is busy throwing house parties for local college kids at Bill's house. Terry's bad dreams continue, so Arlene confronts Patrick about the problems, but Terry intervenes before any answers are given. Reverend Newlin tries to buy Jason from Jessica, but Jess kicks him to the curb. Meanwhile, Eric and Bill are in the clutches of the Authority and undergo really creative vampire torture before attending a Board Meeting of the Undead featuring a really wicked old vamp named Roman... throw in some religious stuff and some very ominous power suits, and I'd say we've got a lot ahead of us this season.

Starting off with our Sookie-rejected vamp fellas Eric and Bill, I find that Bill's relaxed and inconspicuous henley shirt with jeans is a nice throwback to Season 1 Vampire Bill: a little rugged but soulful.

Also, they were in handcuffs. I know.

Eric is back to his usual emo-rocker self, complete with nondescript graphic tee and leather bracelets. (Please note that the difference between Eric and Bill, besides hair color and height, is that Eric wears v-necks.)

Poor Pamsicle is having Major Feels about her maker Eric gone missing, especially because they were fighting right before he vanished. She is so upset she starts having flashbacks to San Fransisco circa 1905, when she first met him.

Raise your hand if you are surprised to learn that she was a lady of the night? Anybody? Nobody? But DANG she looks good! I'm a sucker for corsets.

And doesn't Eric look DAPPER??? Sigh. I love flashback sequences.

Ginger is maybe the one constant on this show. She's not dead yet and she's still totally unaware of how to dress herself. It's amazing.

 

Oh, I spoke too soon. Arlene is definitely competing with Ginger for most constant confusion of costumes, but her hair and makeup appear to have calmed down somewhat. Granted she's still wearing skirts too short for her, but we'll keep working on that.

Luna is still leggy and gorgeous, but boy is mama angry right now. I am crossing my fingers that she and Sam make up so that she can teach Sam how to dress.

Speaking of leggy and gorgeous, Jessica is still rocking the house parties, but apparently she's also revisiting her brief punk-goth phase from right after she was made.

That's okay though, her shoes are super cute! What I want to know is how vampire chicks acquire the PERFECT shade of lipstick to go with the blood motif. It can't be easy.

Saucy new lady-vamp Salome is pretty gorgeous, despite working for the Authority and therefore currently occupying the role of A Bad Guy. This purple ensemble is stunning and her silhouette brings to mind the lovely Joan Harris of Mad Men -- though infinitely less curvy.

 

More True Royal...

She also seems to favor silk blends. I love this green color on her, and I think her messy I-just-threw-this-together hairstyle is cute. Salome isn't the only big baddie this season though; in fact, she seems to be one of several baddies.

 

Roman is called the Guardian, and sits at the head of the table when the Committee of Vampire Bigwigs meets in the basement of the Authority building.

You can tell they are bigwigs by their fancy outfits and the fact that Roman gives them vampire communion from his own blood with a fancy knife-straw.

Apparently, Roman is related to Lilith the first vampire. You know, from the Bible. Oh, hey, Religious Overtones, I didn't see you there. Come on in, join the party!

And When I Die - Part 1 of 2 - Sinners

Episode Synopsis: Listen, y'all, this season finale was so cuh-RAY-zee that I don't even know where to start. Lafayette, possessed by Marni, tortures Jesus until he gives up his super-strong-Mexican-juju-magic, and then kills him. Jason tells Hoyt that he slept with Jessica, and Hoyt beats the crap out of him. Alcide has kicked Debbie out for good and asks Sookie (in a very roundabout way) if she will consider being with him so they can stay out of trouble together. Sookie turns him down, and then tells Eric and Bill that she can't choose either of them, either. For those of you keeping track, that's THREE hot men she turned down this episode. Bill and Eric murder Nan Flanagan and her guards, Alcide discovers that a vamp (Russell Edgington?) has broken free from his concrete prison, and Jason is visited by Vamp!Reverend Newlin. Ghost René warns Arlene that Terry and his old army pal are nothing but trouble. Sookie, Tara, and Holly call on Bon Temps spirits for help with Marni/Lafayette, and Antonia and Gran (!!!) appear to bring Marni to the other side. Debbie shows up to kill Sookie with a shotgun, but Tara jumps in the way and gets blasted. Sookie then shoots Debbie in the neck (ouch) before realizing that Tara is really not ok. And now, all I can say is "WHAT?!"

Lafayette is possessed by Marni. He is also possessed with a fierceness that mere mortals generally don't experience.

Please experience now his fierce kimono. I'm not digging the yellow track pants, but I love the kimono. Did Marni inherit some fashion sense when she took over his body??

GASP. Apparently not.

What IS that? I'll tell you. That is a muumuu, my friends. A MUUMUU. Lafayette probably owns the muumuu for comical, sassy, just-lyin-around-the-house purposes... either that or Marni possessed Lafayette and after killing Jesus (sob) made straight for the nearest hippie store for a shopping spree. Yikes, y'all.

King Bill has an unending supply of tailored suits. I like the gray tie on this one though...

...but as we all know, Bill and Eric are at their best when they're chained up to a stake and mostly naked. Well, maybe not chained to a stake. But definitely the mostly naked bit. Definitely.

Also, of COURSE poor Ginger went as a sexy nurse for Halloween. It's appropriate because she's been taking care of poor Pamsicle all season while Eric's been out tooting around with Sookie and fighting witches. Ginger probably only has one Halloween costume, actually, come to think of it.

Speaking of people with only one outfit.... Alcide is wearing the same plaid shirt we saw him in like six episodes ago. Sigh. Buddy, when are you gonna learn? Sookie isn't attracted to flannel. We all remember how well Sam fared with that tactic season 1.

Unfortunately, Hoyt is not doing so well either... Granted, these are his work duds, but when you look at what heartbroken Hoyt is wearing versus what Jason is wearing... you kinda can't blame Jess. Really.

Purrrrrrrr. So casual. So yummy.

And later on, a lil more skin from Mr. Stackhouse. Yes, please.

Jess shows up on Halloween lookin' like a sessy Little Red Riding Hood, and if Jason thought he would get away with being a Good Guy and Doing The Right Thing By Making Her Leave Without Them Doing Anything, he was sorely mistaken.

Booya.

Nan shows up in her biker bitchy glory, with a new leather jacket, a new armed and armored entourage, and a paranoia to rival ol' Russell's back in season 3.... But Bill and Eric don't want no revolution, so they cut the guards' heads off and stake the heck outta Nan.

Gross. Can't believe they finally took her out. As Eric said: "What a bitch."

Cold Grey Light of Dawn - Part 2 of 2 - Totally Sunburned

The many misfortunes of Bon Temps! We've already complained about the lack of cute sundresses... seriously, where were they? But here are the real disappointments. Brace yourselves.

Really, seriously, who let Hoyt Fortenberry into Finn's wardrobe on Glee? At least it's a nice blue, Hoyt. Sigh.

I will say that it's nice to see Arelene's hair up for a change instead of in her uniform bouffant, but her jewelry is a little outrageous. I also appreciate that she's trying to keep an eye on Mikey by wearing him to work (also I think it's awesome when moms wear their babies in various wraps and such) but it makes me super nervous that Mikey the Demon Baby of Bon Temps is near the food.

Also of some concern: V-addict Andy Bellefleur trying to date Holly the cool witch. What?! Props to him for buying a new tie, but the suit is a little on the sad side. The color is just not right. Just. Wow.

Bill's still-sort-of-unnamed (I think?) Louisiana vamp sheriffs are kind of... interesting. Edgy, but in a dumbfounded way. Also, apparently True Blood is picking up on the Vampire Diaries' wardrobe staple of uninteresting leather jackets. Meh.

I guess it's just that I'm not really sure who they are yet... and apparently, nobody else is sure either.

Ah! The vampire doctor! I forget her name but she first appeared a few seasons back. She's crotchety and stern and she doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even Pamsicle, who is currently still a screaming, rotting mess. Unfortunately, she doesn't have Pam's fashion flourish, and this amazing... uh... shirt is proof. Granted it seems to be part of her scrubs... but still.

Also, Fangtasia's favorite bloodbank/bartender Ginger is still around, and still has the wardrobe to fit a sleazy 14-year-old who shops at Hot Topic.

Speaking of loud... Oh my, Maxine. Oh MY. The colors! The patterns! I'm overwhelmed, as usual, when it comes to Mama Fortenberry. She's a crazy broad for sure.

Just a shout-out to her incredible sun hat. Presented without further comment.

Maxine's neighbor models a lovely muumuu for us, but it is soon developed in a ball of flames. Because she's a vampire. Surprise. But speaking of vampires bursting into flames...

Marni (now calling herself Antonia the Vampire Slayer) looks a little less dreary in a lighter green gown, but it's still very reminiscent of the burlap sack Antonia got burned at the stake in back in the 1600s. It's ok. We all get into style ruts.

...and Marni's witch gang looks like Hippietown, U.S.A. They appear to be about as bewildered as King Bill's sheriffs, but less punk rock and more Woodstock. Except for Tara. Also, here's one guy in there wearing a gigantic peacock feather necklace. Gigantic. Just saying.