True Blood: Somebody That I Used to Know

Deep end, meet True Blood. True Blood, this is the deep end. As in, the one that y'all done gone off of. Sookie's trying to get rid of her magicalness while Eric, Bill and the Authority gang spin out of control with this whole Lillith thing. Well, except for Eric, who is the calm, clarity-filled one. I told you things were getting weird. Arlene enlists Lafayette's help to call upon the woman who cursed Terry, and guess what? Terry has to kill Patrick or vice-versa! Then there's Hoyt who is just plain old lost. Does he love Jessica? Does he not? Is he going to become a supernatural killer? Or not? Make up your mind! 

This was the same dress/jacket combo Sookie wore last episode, but I wanted to point out her boots (that you can't really see...sorry). I love that she toughened up a girly ensemble with some edgy kicks. 

Same jacket, different dress (this one is by Anthropologie). While we're still awaiting the return of full-blown florals on every outfit, sweet dresses like this one will have to do. At this point, I'll take pretty much anything over her Merlotte t-shirt and cutoffs. 

Sookie's best friend has not only transformed into a vampire but her entire wardrobe has transformed--into high-class stripper garb. This week, Tara trades in a zipper collar for what looks like an unbearably tight corset. Maybe that's why Tara is angry all the time...because she is always in the most uncomfortable workwear.

Vampires really do have more fun. Look at this sexy outfit Jessica gets to wear to find some lovin' at Fangtasia. Massive amounts of eye makeup complement the tousled, wavy hair. But my favorite part of the outfit--the fingerless gloves. How...vogue.  

Sidenote: I WANT her hair. 

Tara's better half also usually looks semi-uncomfortable in her clothing choices; however, Pam tries out a new hairstyle this week. Last week was 80s pop-star. This week, wannabe geisha. Surprising result--I think I prefer Pam's crimped look to this pile of hair. 

This has got be the most covered, most normal, most minimalist we have seen Arlene. Her fire engine red hair isn't so fire-enginey, Her clothes are not super-tight nor horribly mismatched. And is that a rhinestone applique on her chest? I think it is! How mom-like.  

This fairy gets my vote for best dressed of the week. Slightly flapper inspired with a dose of 2012 in the leather shorts, this fairy needs to help Sookie every week so we can see what other fabulous era-combinations she comes up with. 

Present Bill is so boring. No colors, no leather, no print, no nothing.

But early 1900s Bill...

...is oh-so-dapper. 

Salome continues her fashion reign of supremacy with this emerald green gown. She is always so put together but also relaxed in her luxurious outfit choices. 

More Alexander McQueen...

 

Like really? Who can wear a deep-v, sheer long-sleeve, black dress and look good? Apparently Salome can, which also means she can stand at the head of the table. 

Nora is slowly but surely coming up to Salome's standards in the wardrobe department. Maybe this dress was one of Salome's castoffs that wasn't quite right? It's not quite right for Nora either but at least she is not chanting craziness in a UV punishment cell anymore. 

This Authority member had an absolutely terrible skirt-suit last week but she steps up this week (must be the after-effects of all that wild partying). Loving the teal and heather gray color combo. 

And I leave you with little piece of creepiness. I will pray for the day that Steve Newlin buys a new sweater. He shouldn't have to borrow his human father's sweaters anymore, right?!

True Blood: In The Beginning

Tonight, on a very special True Blood... Russell, Eric and Bill and the remaining chancellors get CRUNK on Lilith's blood and storm out onto the streets of New Orleans. A good time is had by all (except the people they kill) culminating with a naked lady springing out of the spilled blood. Hey there, Lilith! Lafayette goes to Don Bartolo's casa in Mexico to get some answers on Jesus' fate, but instead gets all tied up and tortured. At the last second before Lala is killed, Don's preggo girlfriend straight-up murders Don Bartolo. WHOSE SIDE IS SHE ON and what's in her belly because totes it isn't human.

ALSO: Sam helps Andy hunt down the hate crime perps, Alcide "trains" to kick his packmaster's ass, Jason shoots Jess in the head, Tara's mom disowns her, and Hoyt joins the aforementioned hate group. It was a busy night.

I'd like to start things off here on a positive note, so here's Alcide's abs. Homina homina homina! Although Martha is kinda right when she calls him "Rambo." What is that bandanna, Alcide?

Ok, that was pleasant. Now for the rest of the recap.

We see the return of some floral prints to Sookie's wardrobe, layered with boots and a dark denim jacket. Super cute for visiting Luna and Sam in the hospital and also nice for moments of riveting self-doubt and existential crisis. It's an appropriately dark ensemble, I suppose.

Bless Jess for adding color to the insanity! I am starting to think she has the most costume changes in the whole show. This silky robe is loud, yes, but fun, and suits her wild and fickle tastes. Also, her hair looks fab.

Right, hair! This crimped hair is an interesting development compared to Pam's usual voluptuous curls. It's... uh... fun? Maybe she was feeling nostalgic for the 80s?

80s Pam. Now there's a thought. I do believe I'd enjoy seeing the various vamps throughout the various decades. Can you imagine Eric in the 60s?

But let's focus on Tara in the 2010s. Holy -- ! Well, I suppose this was only a matter of time. Since, you know, Pam is her maker. Wow. Also, not the outfit I'd want to be caught dead in when my mom walked in. (You get it? Dead? Cause Tara's a vampire now? Haha....right.) The zipper-choker looks particularly uncomfortable.

Poor Tara's mom - a minister's wife in Fangtasia. Those gloves. The feathered hair. That print. How insanely awkward.

Wait, no, I don't feel bad for her. She was a psycho alcoholic who beat Tara with glass bottles in previous seasons. That was insane.

Speaking of insane, the fairy nightclub workers look like Britney Spears backup dancers from the Circus tour. Or rather, if a high school drama director was going for the Britney Spears Backup Dancer Look. So confusing.

How many layers does she have on, anyway? It looks like this outfit would take a very long time to get into.

Club Fae is too much. How about a palette cleanser? 

Oh, Nora. Eric is so totally pissed at you. But your hair is so perfectly neat and your snug black blazer is so simple and elegant! I'm hoping we'll get to see Nora in something more fancy, but it's hard when Salome is around, hogging the fashion spotlight.

See, look at these goddess-curls and the gold cuff. Her black silhouette is not a slinky little dress like one might think, oh no -- it's a pantsuit. Palazzo pants, I might add. With an obi-style leather belt (I'm assuming leather because pleather is not a vamp's style.) She looks gorgeous as usual, so it's no wonder everyone goes along with the plan and drinks up.

Especially when the other chancellors consider this outfit haute couture. Seriously, who is this vamp and who is her stylist??

Well you know Russell is a happy camper, now that he's been brought back to full power by the Authority, no less. His blue tie is actually really nice here, despite how much I dislike him as a being and wish that Bill and Eric had killed him when they had the chance.

This girl singing karaoke for her drunk and teary family (and presumably new husband in the front row) both stands and dresses like a Glee reject. I actually thought they were trying to reference Wizard of Oz with the blue dress and green curtains in the back -- she looked like Dorothy for a hot second. Oh, and I would make a crack about ruby slippers and the amount of blood she's about to lose, but I won't.

Bill and Eric are STILL wearing their leather jackets, dark tees and dark denim. That makes...what? Two outfits this entire season? Maybe three?

I just wanted to point out that at some point during their drunk rampage in N'Awlins, Bill gets a piggy back ride from Eric. You're welcome.

True Blood: Hopeless

Part 1 of 2: The Gentlemen

This week on The Twilight Zone True Blood: The Scooby Gang (aka Sookie and her man-ions) are finally enjoying their fond reunion with Russell Edgington when the Authority swoops in and captures him. Sam and Luna entrust Martha to take care of Emma while they practice some vigilante justice in order to find out who's killing shifters. Jason contemplates some vigilante justice of his own, taking Sookie to the fairy nightclub to get some answers about their parents' death. Meanwhile, Terry leaves town to protect his family from the fire monster, Tara continues to wrestle with both her new identity and Jessica, while Hoyt becomes even more sad. I didn't realize that was possible.

Hopeless is certainly a good word to describe life in this sleepy little Louisiana town. Well, not completely, I suppose - judging by Alcide's abs they at least have a good gym in the vicinity:

It's all about quality of life in a community, right? That makes two episodes in a row that open with these babies and all I have to say is 'well done, producers'.

Sadly, our rock-hard wolf here stays fully clothed for the rest of the episode, but thankfully in a pretty hot outfit.

Chambray shirt and leather jacket - a little bit chic, a little bit blue collar. Suitable for covering the muscles, yet still showing the shape, yet practical for when those claws and fangs decide to spring out (and the clothes fall in the dirt). And can I get an amen for a man's shirt on this show that is NOT a henley or an undershirt?

Hmmm...it appears I spoke too soon.

Well, Jason was sleeping so I suppose I can accept the undershirt as a practical pj option for a steamy night in the South. At least he's dressed like a grown man and not a five year old on Christmas morning.

Besides, the dream that he has in this scene is one I wouldn't mind having sometime:

Why, hello, Mr. Stackhouse! I can see where Jason gets his good looks from. Ok, I realize that this is a whole 'Field of Dreams' moment and that if he were still around today he would be a 50-something with a beer belly and a creepy sneer, but his imaginary self is attractive. And he's wearing a button-up shirt that is NOT plaid!

Speaking of which, what is with the ghosts in this town dressing better than the real, alive people?! Remember the beautiful vintage-dressed black lady lurking around Arlene and Terry's house last season? People, it's pretty sad when your dead people are more fashionable than you. That should really speak volumes.

Oh hai, plaid shirt! How've you been? Haven't seen you in a while - how was your vacation? See any sundresses in your travels?

Sadly, the rest of the male crew were a pretty big snoozefest in the wardrobe department. Eric and Bill were in the same old black leather jackets that they have been in almost the entire season, which, although I agree are slick and go with the whole 'undead creature of the night' vibe they are putting down, they are nothing to write home to Grams about, know what I am saying ladies?

 

...wait...what was I saying?...

Right, clothing *ahem* So, Lafayette's (I am counting him under the "Guys" section, although he's kind of between camps) depression continues to manifest itself in his wardrobe (le sigh). While he did manage to put on a fab tiger-print headscarf, the jean jacket and yoga sweater layers are not doing you any favours. Someone needs to get La-La some uppers, stat; or better yet, give them to me because I just can't take any more of these construction-worker ensembles!! 

*sadface* is THE look for Summer 2012. 

But, hark, what is that I see?! A lavendar collared shirt and dress pants?! We can't be in Bon Temps anymore, Toto:

We are now at the Authority HQ - where people actually put effort into their appearance (this man had a beret on earlier - a BERET, y'all). THIS is a gentleman. This outfit is basically a high-end version of Alcide's above leather jacket and collared shirt, but sans danger of getting wolf spit all over it (just the blood of Lilith but whatevs - blood comes right out...not that I would know).

True Blood: Let's Boot and Rally

Part 1 of 1: Must be Thursday!

Bill and Eric recruit Sookie in their search for Russell, and we learn that a female Authority member freed Russell (three guesses who!) and that he's recuperating in a creepy asylum. Meanwhile, Jessica takes Tara under her wing - a short-lived friendship as Jessica finds Tara and Hoyt together in the ladies restroom of Fangtasia. Lafayette struggles with his demon and when he calls out for help, Jesus' decapitated head (with mouth sewn shut) arrives with a muffled warning. Jason becomes more convinced his parents were killed by vampires as he investigates the shifters found dead by Sam. Who is later shot - along with Luna - by the same people. And Emma turns into the cutest wolf pup and runs away. Oh, and in-the-storyline-that-no-one-cares-about, Terry remembers a woman who cursed them all into getting killed by a fire Ifrit.

Let's open with Sookie's pink polka-dotted socks. I'm assuming she kept these from when she was five.

You know, back when she looked like this:

We wanted the cute sundresses back, but adorable pink overalls and heart printed turtleneck? Cuteness overload. This is exactly what I wore everyday when I was a tot.

But back to grown-up Sookie. I'd like to thank the True Blood writers for perhaps the most hilarious moment in True Blood history - Sookie throwing up just as she and Alcide are about to finally do it. Also, a gratuitous picture of Alcide's abs. Just 'cause.

Here to pass judgement are Bill Eric. I am so very glad they're out of those ridiculous tracksuits. I won't even fault Bill for wearing another leather jacket because #yum. And Eric looks good in anything, obvs.

Looking less good is Lafayette. "If I wanted to look like a drag queen, I would've raided Lafayette's closet" claims Tara. Only, Lafayette isn't so much about the his fabulous drag queen self these days. Bomber vest with 'Hi Bitch' embroidered in gold?! Is that the best he can do? At least he's wearing a fab printed headscarf.

This is what it's come to. Hoyt is outdressing Lafayette. Freakin' Hoyt.

Although, I don't know what's worse. The cut-off purple vest or the eyeliner and nail polish. Hoyt, does your mama let you out of the house dressed like that?

Mr. Fortenberry isn't the only one with a new look. Damn, Tara. Clearly, better clothes just come with being a vamp. Right?! I love this studded purple corset on her, especially paired with that amaze leather jacket!

Then again, she has this lady's closet to borrow from. Pam, looking trashy-glam (is that even a thing?) in a red patent dress that looks like it would be rather difficult to sit in is pretty much my dream Maker.

Jessica may lack a stylish Maker like Pam, but nevertheless, she can do no wrong in my eyes. She manages to pull off leopard pants. I mean. Leopard. Pants. Also, her hair is a thing of beauty.

More Firetrap...

Still, her vibe is a little more laid-back than Pam/Tara. I'm actually a bit surprised that she got all territorial over Fangbanger Ken.

Because this is more her speed. Ok, and mine. It's pretty much my third favorite (after his uniform, and well, wearing nothing) Jason outfit ever. How adorbs does he look?

I mean, footie pjs!

Also winning a nod for fetching sleepware is Arlene. I'm absolutely in love with this rose-printed silk robe. It's a step up from her bejewelled minis, for sure.

More La Fee Verte...

If Arlene's robe was a curveball, Alcide's plaid was...I don't know, what's the opposite of a curveball? A bunt? A slow under-hand pitch? (I'm a fashion recapper, not a baseball player). For a show that's notorious for its plaid, we only spotted one plaid shirt this week, but that's enough to keep things consistent.

The day that Alcide shows up dressed like this guy, it'll be like a homerun that shatters the scoreboard.

Roman's suits rival that of Chuck Bass'. Which is pretty much the highest honor here at YKYLF. Also, there's something about his attitude that's very Don Draper-esque, which is pretty much our second-highest honor. Well played, Roman. Not bad for a character we don't even care about.

Authority Always Wins - Introducing the Power Vamps

Soooo Tara's back from the dead -- against her will -- and is a super-violent-super-strong baby vamp. Sookie and Lafayette are wondering if they did the right thing to bring her back, and Pam is so worried about Eric still being gone, she starts having flashbacks from when she first met him. Alcide tells the pack to go sniff out a new pack leader, Luna kicks Sam out, then finds her daughter has turned into a Siberian husky wolf pup. Jason is still confused about the friends-with-benefits arrangement with Jessica, who is busy throwing house parties for local college kids at Bill's house. Terry's bad dreams continue, so Arlene confronts Patrick about the problems, but Terry intervenes before any answers are given. Reverend Newlin tries to buy Jason from Jessica, but Jess kicks him to the curb. Meanwhile, Eric and Bill are in the clutches of the Authority and undergo really creative vampire torture before attending a Board Meeting of the Undead featuring a really wicked old vamp named Roman... throw in some religious stuff and some very ominous power suits, and I'd say we've got a lot ahead of us this season.

Starting off with our Sookie-rejected vamp fellas Eric and Bill, I find that Bill's relaxed and inconspicuous henley shirt with jeans is a nice throwback to Season 1 Vampire Bill: a little rugged but soulful.

Also, they were in handcuffs. I know.

Eric is back to his usual emo-rocker self, complete with nondescript graphic tee and leather bracelets. (Please note that the difference between Eric and Bill, besides hair color and height, is that Eric wears v-necks.)

Poor Pamsicle is having Major Feels about her maker Eric gone missing, especially because they were fighting right before he vanished. She is so upset she starts having flashbacks to San Fransisco circa 1905, when she first met him.

Raise your hand if you are surprised to learn that she was a lady of the night? Anybody? Nobody? But DANG she looks good! I'm a sucker for corsets.

And doesn't Eric look DAPPER??? Sigh. I love flashback sequences.

Ginger is maybe the one constant on this show. She's not dead yet and she's still totally unaware of how to dress herself. It's amazing.

 

Oh, I spoke too soon. Arlene is definitely competing with Ginger for most constant confusion of costumes, but her hair and makeup appear to have calmed down somewhat. Granted she's still wearing skirts too short for her, but we'll keep working on that.

Luna is still leggy and gorgeous, but boy is mama angry right now. I am crossing my fingers that she and Sam make up so that she can teach Sam how to dress.

Speaking of leggy and gorgeous, Jessica is still rocking the house parties, but apparently she's also revisiting her brief punk-goth phase from right after she was made.

That's okay though, her shoes are super cute! What I want to know is how vampire chicks acquire the PERFECT shade of lipstick to go with the blood motif. It can't be easy.

Saucy new lady-vamp Salome is pretty gorgeous, despite working for the Authority and therefore currently occupying the role of A Bad Guy. This purple ensemble is stunning and her silhouette brings to mind the lovely Joan Harris of Mad Men -- though infinitely less curvy.

 

More True Royal...

She also seems to favor silk blends. I love this green color on her, and I think her messy I-just-threw-this-together hairstyle is cute. Salome isn't the only big baddie this season though; in fact, she seems to be one of several baddies.

 

Roman is called the Guardian, and sits at the head of the table when the Committee of Vampire Bigwigs meets in the basement of the Authority building.

You can tell they are bigwigs by their fancy outfits and the fact that Roman gives them vampire communion from his own blood with a fancy knife-straw.

Apparently, Roman is related to Lilith the first vampire. You know, from the Bible. Oh, hey, Religious Overtones, I didn't see you there. Come on in, join the party!