And When I Die - Part 2 of 2 - Saints

I just wanted to take a minute to appreciate the fact that for the first time in three seasons (flashbacks notwithstanding) we got to see Gran -- albeit in a nightgown with dirt in her hair, on Halloween, for the purpose of dispelling Marni's effed up witch-spirit. Poor Gran was the first emotionally significant casualty of the whole series, way back in season one. Sigh. Sookie still isn't over it, really.

Whoops, I guess I should have warned against gratuitous multiple-vampire feeding... Sookie looks superfierce though. The denim is nice, the floral T is sweet, and the leather jacket! Be still my heart, Sookie, you've finally graduated from Delia*s hoodies?! That's my girl.

And can we talk about Sookie's awesome knotted bun? Casual but feminine. And super hot. A+!!!

They went to some pains to make Tara look sweet and loving in this episode, even though this girl has been through Hell and back multiple times (do not pass "GO," do not collect $200) and has a lot of anger and crazy pent up inside of her to show for it. Unlike Sookie, who tends to have crazy stuff happen to her and then she carries on somehow, Tara has shown a lot of signs in the last season or two of real wear and tear on her sanity. But her hair looks lovely here, and I like the pink top on her...

...but not the denim suit. The wash is too light and the two items are the same wash. Tara, honey, what happened to your cagefighter leather and combat boots???

Oh, poor Sam. No family left (poor Tommy!) except the hope of building new family with Luna and Emma now that all the bad nasty people are dead (the Mickens, Marcus, etc). Sam looks sharp in a suit, you gotta admit.

Even when he's the only one at his brother Tommy's funeral other than Maxine Fortenberry....

...who, although sporting her usual over-the-top fabrics and styles, looks really nice in spite of it all, and genuinely loved Tommy (even though he was a conniving little cuss). Her words of wisdom are actually even comforting to Sam, and it is possible that Hell also froze over while she was making her speech about family and life. Who knew she had it in her?!

Luna and Emma show up to the funeral at the last moment, looking equally lovely in funeral-appropriate darks, but with a splash of pattern from Luna, who is also a contender for Bon Temps' Most Fashion Forward now that Sookie has lost all of her sundresses.

Although Holly's devastating Halloween costume is beyond anything I could ever have imagined her in, she did a lot of good deeds this week so I'm putting her on the saints list anyway.

Besides, the costume itself is actually almost impressively awful.

And of course, since it's Halloween suddenly (what?) Arlene and Terry show up to work at Merlotte's dressed as zombies. Extremely PG-rated zombies. (Also, shout out to Arlene's kids, who are dressed as an alien/monster and Teen Mom. Kudos, kids.)

Poor Jesus. Poor, poor, POOR Jesus. I can't even stand it. He was such a wonderful character.... on so many levels.... one of them being that his eyes matched any blue or green item of clothing he ever had on, and his hair was so ruffly and friendly.... Oh, that, and he had lots of juju to save people with. But. Yes. Erm. Sadface dot com slash bye hottie.

In conclusion, all I really have to say is that we're in for a regular good old fashioned revengefest next season. There's a whole heap of trouble happenin' in Bon Temps and our unfortunate heroes (Sookie and... well... whoever else, I guess) are going to have their work cut out for them. I am thrilled that we were able to recap this season, though, and I look forward to the next one, even if there are zombies a-comin'.... See y'all next summer!

Soul of Fire - Part 2 of 2 - Shifters vs. Werewolves (and some other supernatural peeps)

Is this not the most awkward pose/outfit (if you can that at all an outfit)? Who sits like this on a made bed with their pants off while...

...the male in the room is fully dressed and looks like this: 

Seriously Debbie?? How could you possible even consider touching that scraggly-haired dude when you have Alcide...hot, hot Alcide...with muscles bulging out of his skin...  ::off to dreamy land::

As Kim pointed out, Luna has the most "delish caramel leather jacket" on. Where does the True Blood wardrobe department find their leather? It's ALWAYS perfect. 

Since we had a major lack of wardrobe changes this week, I just had to include little Emma. How adorable is she! You can totally tell she's Luna daughter from the denim vest. But she's still a normal little girl with the pink tee and bead earrings. No wonder Sam is smitten with this fam; they're so perf!

Perhaps the most gag-worthy moment in all of television. I will pause to appreciate this Morella chick's intricately detailed, blush pink gown. But once she gets on top of Andy, I had to avert my eyes. Thank you baby Jesus we didn't have to see them with their clothes off. 

Another Bellefleur, another gag moment. Oh Arlene...she always seems to choose odd outfits. This pink is totally making her look like a walking Valentine. 

Rose are red
True Blood is too.
Just one episode left...
Oh no! Boo-hoo!

Burning Down The House - Part 2 of 2 - BRB, Just Gonna Chill In The Sun

First, let’s get this out of the way: Arlene and Terry in their robes. Come on guys, can’t you switch it up just a little? The whole “Madam Butterfly” role playing game has got to feel stale. At least in his normal clothes, Terry looks rather fetching... for a gun toting Southerner who’s always one step away from a mental breakdown. Andy, you... well... you just keep doing what you're doing. Try and get off the junk, huh?

Oh look, we have a fashion challenge on our hands! Who wore it better: the drape edition. First we have Antonia, rocking a truly inspired hair care regimen. Girlfriend was into teased locks back during the Inquisition. Points for the hair, but demerits for the stained tarp she’s been rocking for centuries. I don't care if you're a ghost - figure it out. On the other hand, Marni's decided to update that whole “persecuted witch” look with a (surprise!) belted sheet and limp hair. Hmm, tough call ladies but, in my professional opinion, I’m going to say that Antonia wins. Why? She was burned at the stake when owning a hairbrush was a luxury meant for aristocrats... what’s Marni’s excuse? 

Speaking of excuses, here’s a pathetic one for a coven. Did Marnie swing by Berkley for a few freshmen before starting her little witch organization? This looks like the Invasion of the Crunchy Clan. Antsy about being held captive? Why don't you just magic up some more quinoa, sir?

Guess who hasn’t changed clothes because they’re in a hostage situation? Holly and Tara! It’s nice to see the ladies bond.

He might be concerned for his cousin, but Lafayette doesn’t let a little grief rain on his fashion parade. Girl, can we talk about the slippers? Comfort over style? Who do you think you are - Sookie?

At least in the unending parade of patronizing looks from Jesus, he manages to pull together a more subdued, yet fashionable look. That robe? It’s nothing to write a blog about...

 but darling sugar-pie honeybunch, those boots? Let’s get married, you sultry Latin ‘mo. I’ve even forgiven you for wearing cargo pants. Well, I’m still working on that but I promise I’ll get over it. Sorry, but they're never coming back. No matter how many GAP commercials you reference.

Of course, it’s better than your freaky tribal look. Ew. I hate ear stretchers.

Hoyt seems pretty stoked to have broken up with Jessica. Or, to have been broken up with by Jessica. Either way, he’s the most adorable mama’s boy I’ve ever met. Actually, I’ve had a crush on Hoyt since Season One. You may have noticed that I have a proclivity towards men of a larger nature. That’s why I think Hoyt, in this hideous ribbed v-neck, is far more attractive than Jason. 

Yeah, I said it - I’ll pause for a collective gasp. Jason, you going to be OK?

You guys, is he wearing yoga pants? That cut off at the calf? I don’t care if they’re sweatpants rolled up, they look like short yoga pants. Even for yoga, short pants are never a good idea. That’s why we have shorts. Repetition is the most effective learning tool.

Somehow, in this sea of American Apparel hoodies and scooping neck lines for men, I don’t have total confidence in our miniature Scooby Squad. Though it is slightly refreshing to see Lafayette without a head covering; too bad he has that dreadhawk thing going on. 

So, if you’re a supernatural being, and you know when weird things are happening, do you involve yourself in some way? Or do you shack up with a dirty trick who offers you the possibility of more V and a werebaby? Wait... don’t answer that... Debbie’s beat you to the punch.

Alcide wasn’t topless this week, even though Debs was pretty darn close. Shame. Even though he doesn’t do a bad job of filling out this plaid shirt, I’ve become accustomed to seeing some skin every week. Best part of this photo? The way Alcide dwarfs Sam; the man is a brickhouse!

So is that why Sam looks pretty distraught? I mean, he is sporting the same shirt as before, but it’s a nice shade of blue and the fabric seems to be all natural - what’s the problem? 

Oh. Right. The whole Tommy dying thing. Sorry Tommy, it was fun while it lasted (content edited for, you know, gross amounts of blood).

Just two episodes left! Brace yourself for next week friends - I have a feeling it's going to be over the top. Much like Marnie's belt was over her jacket.

Spellbound - Part 1 of 2 - Team Denim

Episode Synopsis: Wow. OK. SO MUCH HAPPENED THIS WEEK! Jason saved Jessica from the world's worst sunburn and then they totally made out. So then Jess dumped Hoyt, who hates her now, and fled to be with Jason, who also kicked her out. Harsh! Sookie and Eric drink each others' blood and spend most of the episode in a V-induced Valhalla winter wonder-sex-land. Lafayette is possessed by the Princess & the Frog ghost, who it turns out had her baby taken from her back in the day, and Lafayette/ghost steals Baby Mikey. Bill tries to compromise with Marnie/Antonia, but neither of them really meant it, and then everybody fights everybody! (Except for the werewolves, who decide to stay out of it). At episode's end, Bill saves Tara, Marnie/Antonia has Eric in her thrall, Sookie gets shot, Alcide saves the day and Debbie is totally going evil on us, I think.

So! Let's start this week with poor, poor Jess. Things don't go so well for the good-hearted strawberry blond vamp teen. Luckily, she has a number of cute outfits, starting with these adorable flats!

I also like her cuffed-up skinny jeans. She spends most of the episode in denim, actually. For the first little bit, she's wearing the same cute button-down that got last week's outfit of the week pick. And golf claps for her shiny, shiny hair. 

Also of note is her nail polish. It's like a dark bronze-grey that looks kind of goth, but kind of sweet - not unlike Jessica herself.

OK, it might be distracting to see her bleeding face, but just focus on the polish for a sec. Cute, right? (Note: as a fellow pale-skinned redhead, I'd like to mention that this is what I'd look like if I ran around outside without SPF 60. Practice safe sun, kids!)

After getting help from a blood "donor," Jess cleaned up and headed home to break up with Hoyt. In another pair of jeans, flowery tank (very Sookie-esque) and a cropped jean jacket.

Waaaait a minute. Shiny, gorgeous hair? Cropped jacket? Is Jess trying out for a role on Pretty Little Liars? You know, I think she'd fit in pretty well over in Rosewood. It might serve her well to get away from Bon Temps for a bit.

Also channeling PLL style this week is Lafayette, with his single feather earring!

Oh, Lafayette. #that'ssoaria

Lafayette, poor guy, is settled in for a sofa snooze in his bright blue Snuggie, when suddenly Princess Tiana appears! He's like, "Oh, hell no!"

That being said, once he was possessed by the ghost of Princess T, his pink boat-neck top and headscarf seemed fairly appropriate.

So ladylike!

Luna was also cute in jeans this week. Luuurve her flowery top (darker colours than Jessica's tank, but the cut and shape of it is still so Sookie. Maybe there aren't a lot of shopping options in Bon Temps).

Speaking of Sookie, well, as Kim noted in the mini-recap, she spent a lot of time naked this week. The first clothing-ish thing she changes into is... well... a fur blanket.

And Eric, of course. He's always an excellent accessory.

Sookie's khaki green jacket is ready for action later on, though, when she and her BF sign up to help the vampires fight. I would fight for this jacket:

(We're not going to discuss Eric's corduroy-collared jean jacket. Just focus on the pretty.)

Over in the land of Possibly Evil Babies, Terry and Mikey were rocking matching camouflage shirts this week:

So sweet! (Pay no attention to the Possibly Evil Doll lurking over Mikey's shoulder.)

Arlene was wearing her usual Merlotte's uniform (with a tragic pink fannypack that we also don't need to talk about). Her hairclip was... interesting... I guess?

I think it's like a grapeleaf shape. In tortoiseshell, this would have gone great with her red hair. In blueish purple? Not so much. But I'm going to cut her the usual amount of slack, what with the Possibly Evil Baby and her recently-burned-down-house. Girlfriend has had a rough time of it this season.

Jason was also in uniform for most of this week. But he spent a few memorable moments in this undershirt and jeans.

Other than Eric's romp in Drug-Induced-Siberia, this was the show's only other display of male upper body strength. BRING IN THE SHIRTLESS ALCIDE, SHOW! I mean, um... let's move onto Team Leather!

Cold Grey Light of Dawn - Part 2 of 2 - Totally Sunburned

The many misfortunes of Bon Temps! We've already complained about the lack of cute sundresses... seriously, where were they? But here are the real disappointments. Brace yourselves.

Really, seriously, who let Hoyt Fortenberry into Finn's wardrobe on Glee? At least it's a nice blue, Hoyt. Sigh.

I will say that it's nice to see Arelene's hair up for a change instead of in her uniform bouffant, but her jewelry is a little outrageous. I also appreciate that she's trying to keep an eye on Mikey by wearing him to work (also I think it's awesome when moms wear their babies in various wraps and such) but it makes me super nervous that Mikey the Demon Baby of Bon Temps is near the food.

Also of some concern: V-addict Andy Bellefleur trying to date Holly the cool witch. What?! Props to him for buying a new tie, but the suit is a little on the sad side. The color is just not right. Just. Wow.

Bill's still-sort-of-unnamed (I think?) Louisiana vamp sheriffs are kind of... interesting. Edgy, but in a dumbfounded way. Also, apparently True Blood is picking up on the Vampire Diaries' wardrobe staple of uninteresting leather jackets. Meh.

I guess it's just that I'm not really sure who they are yet... and apparently, nobody else is sure either.

Ah! The vampire doctor! I forget her name but she first appeared a few seasons back. She's crotchety and stern and she doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even Pamsicle, who is currently still a screaming, rotting mess. Unfortunately, she doesn't have Pam's fashion flourish, and this amazing... uh... shirt is proof. Granted it seems to be part of her scrubs... but still.

Also, Fangtasia's favorite bloodbank/bartender Ginger is still around, and still has the wardrobe to fit a sleazy 14-year-old who shops at Hot Topic.

Speaking of loud... Oh my, Maxine. Oh MY. The colors! The patterns! I'm overwhelmed, as usual, when it comes to Mama Fortenberry. She's a crazy broad for sure.

Just a shout-out to her incredible sun hat. Presented without further comment.

Maxine's neighbor models a lovely muumuu for us, but it is soon developed in a ball of flames. Because she's a vampire. Surprise. But speaking of vampires bursting into flames...

Marni (now calling herself Antonia the Vampire Slayer) looks a little less dreary in a lighter green gown, but it's still very reminiscent of the burlap sack Antonia got burned at the stake in back in the 1600s. It's ok. We all get into style ruts.

...and Marni's witch gang looks like Hippietown, U.S.A. They appear to be about as bewildered as King Bill's sheriffs, but less punk rock and more Woodstock. Except for Tara. Also, here's one guy in there wearing a gigantic peacock feather necklace. Gigantic. Just saying.