Soul of Fire - Part 2 of 2 - Shifters vs. Werewolves (and some other supernatural peeps)

Is this not the most awkward pose/outfit (if you can that at all an outfit)? Who sits like this on a made bed with their pants off while...

...the male in the room is fully dressed and looks like this: 

Seriously Debbie?? How could you possible even consider touching that scraggly-haired dude when you have Alcide...hot, hot Alcide...with muscles bulging out of his skin...  ::off to dreamy land::

As Kim pointed out, Luna has the most "delish caramel leather jacket" on. Where does the True Blood wardrobe department find their leather? It's ALWAYS perfect. 

Since we had a major lack of wardrobe changes this week, I just had to include little Emma. How adorable is she! You can totally tell she's Luna daughter from the denim vest. But she's still a normal little girl with the pink tee and bead earrings. No wonder Sam is smitten with this fam; they're so perf!

Perhaps the most gag-worthy moment in all of television. I will pause to appreciate this Morella chick's intricately detailed, blush pink gown. But once she gets on top of Andy, I had to avert my eyes. Thank you baby Jesus we didn't have to see them with their clothes off. 

Another Bellefleur, another gag moment. Oh Arlene...she always seems to choose odd outfits. This pink is totally making her look like a walking Valentine. 

Rose are red
True Blood is too.
Just one episode left...
Oh no! Boo-hoo!

Burning Down The House - Part 2 of 2 - BRB, Just Gonna Chill In The Sun

First, let’s get this out of the way: Arlene and Terry in their robes. Come on guys, can’t you switch it up just a little? The whole “Madam Butterfly” role playing game has got to feel stale. At least in his normal clothes, Terry looks rather fetching... for a gun toting Southerner who’s always one step away from a mental breakdown. Andy, you... well... you just keep doing what you're doing. Try and get off the junk, huh?

Oh look, we have a fashion challenge on our hands! Who wore it better: the drape edition. First we have Antonia, rocking a truly inspired hair care regimen. Girlfriend was into teased locks back during the Inquisition. Points for the hair, but demerits for the stained tarp she’s been rocking for centuries. I don't care if you're a ghost - figure it out. On the other hand, Marni's decided to update that whole “persecuted witch” look with a (surprise!) belted sheet and limp hair. Hmm, tough call ladies but, in my professional opinion, I’m going to say that Antonia wins. Why? She was burned at the stake when owning a hairbrush was a luxury meant for aristocrats... what’s Marni’s excuse? 

Speaking of excuses, here’s a pathetic one for a coven. Did Marnie swing by Berkley for a few freshmen before starting her little witch organization? This looks like the Invasion of the Crunchy Clan. Antsy about being held captive? Why don't you just magic up some more quinoa, sir?

Guess who hasn’t changed clothes because they’re in a hostage situation? Holly and Tara! It’s nice to see the ladies bond.

He might be concerned for his cousin, but Lafayette doesn’t let a little grief rain on his fashion parade. Girl, can we talk about the slippers? Comfort over style? Who do you think you are - Sookie?

At least in the unending parade of patronizing looks from Jesus, he manages to pull together a more subdued, yet fashionable look. That robe? It’s nothing to write a blog about...

 but darling sugar-pie honeybunch, those boots? Let’s get married, you sultry Latin ‘mo. I’ve even forgiven you for wearing cargo pants. Well, I’m still working on that but I promise I’ll get over it. Sorry, but they're never coming back. No matter how many GAP commercials you reference.

Of course, it’s better than your freaky tribal look. Ew. I hate ear stretchers.

Hoyt seems pretty stoked to have broken up with Jessica. Or, to have been broken up with by Jessica. Either way, he’s the most adorable mama’s boy I’ve ever met. Actually, I’ve had a crush on Hoyt since Season One. You may have noticed that I have a proclivity towards men of a larger nature. That’s why I think Hoyt, in this hideous ribbed v-neck, is far more attractive than Jason. 

Yeah, I said it - I’ll pause for a collective gasp. Jason, you going to be OK?

You guys, is he wearing yoga pants? That cut off at the calf? I don’t care if they’re sweatpants rolled up, they look like short yoga pants. Even for yoga, short pants are never a good idea. That’s why we have shorts. Repetition is the most effective learning tool.

Somehow, in this sea of American Apparel hoodies and scooping neck lines for men, I don’t have total confidence in our miniature Scooby Squad. Though it is slightly refreshing to see Lafayette without a head covering; too bad he has that dreadhawk thing going on. 

So, if you’re a supernatural being, and you know when weird things are happening, do you involve yourself in some way? Or do you shack up with a dirty trick who offers you the possibility of more V and a werebaby? Wait... don’t answer that... Debbie’s beat you to the punch.

Alcide wasn’t topless this week, even though Debs was pretty darn close. Shame. Even though he doesn’t do a bad job of filling out this plaid shirt, I’ve become accustomed to seeing some skin every week. Best part of this photo? The way Alcide dwarfs Sam; the man is a brickhouse!

So is that why Sam looks pretty distraught? I mean, he is sporting the same shirt as before, but it’s a nice shade of blue and the fabric seems to be all natural - what’s the problem? 

Oh. Right. The whole Tommy dying thing. Sorry Tommy, it was fun while it lasted (content edited for, you know, gross amounts of blood).

Just two episodes left! Brace yourself for next week friends - I have a feeling it's going to be over the top. Much like Marnie's belt was over her jacket.

Cold Grey Light of Dawn - Part 2 of 2 - Totally Sunburned

The many misfortunes of Bon Temps! We've already complained about the lack of cute sundresses... seriously, where were they? But here are the real disappointments. Brace yourselves.

Really, seriously, who let Hoyt Fortenberry into Finn's wardrobe on Glee? At least it's a nice blue, Hoyt. Sigh.

I will say that it's nice to see Arelene's hair up for a change instead of in her uniform bouffant, but her jewelry is a little outrageous. I also appreciate that she's trying to keep an eye on Mikey by wearing him to work (also I think it's awesome when moms wear their babies in various wraps and such) but it makes me super nervous that Mikey the Demon Baby of Bon Temps is near the food.

Also of some concern: V-addict Andy Bellefleur trying to date Holly the cool witch. What?! Props to him for buying a new tie, but the suit is a little on the sad side. The color is just not right. Just. Wow.

Bill's still-sort-of-unnamed (I think?) Louisiana vamp sheriffs are kind of... interesting. Edgy, but in a dumbfounded way. Also, apparently True Blood is picking up on the Vampire Diaries' wardrobe staple of uninteresting leather jackets. Meh.

I guess it's just that I'm not really sure who they are yet... and apparently, nobody else is sure either.

Ah! The vampire doctor! I forget her name but she first appeared a few seasons back. She's crotchety and stern and she doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even Pamsicle, who is currently still a screaming, rotting mess. Unfortunately, she doesn't have Pam's fashion flourish, and this amazing... uh... shirt is proof. Granted it seems to be part of her scrubs... but still.

Also, Fangtasia's favorite bloodbank/bartender Ginger is still around, and still has the wardrobe to fit a sleazy 14-year-old who shops at Hot Topic.

Speaking of loud... Oh my, Maxine. Oh MY. The colors! The patterns! I'm overwhelmed, as usual, when it comes to Mama Fortenberry. She's a crazy broad for sure.

Just a shout-out to her incredible sun hat. Presented without further comment.

Maxine's neighbor models a lovely muumuu for us, but it is soon developed in a ball of flames. Because she's a vampire. Surprise. But speaking of vampires bursting into flames...

Marni (now calling herself Antonia the Vampire Slayer) looks a little less dreary in a lighter green gown, but it's still very reminiscent of the burlap sack Antonia got burned at the stake in back in the 1600s. It's ok. We all get into style ruts.

...and Marni's witch gang looks like Hippietown, U.S.A. They appear to be about as bewildered as King Bill's sheriffs, but less punk rock and more Woodstock. Except for Tara. Also, here's one guy in there wearing a gigantic peacock feather necklace. Gigantic. Just saying.