I Wish I Was the Moon - Part 1 of 2 - Dark side of the moon

Episode Synopsis: You guys, what didn't happen this week? It's a full moon, so maybe that's why everything went to crazy town. Bill arrests Eric and gets permission to kill him, but then Eric's heartfelt speech about Sookie changes Bill's mind. While in vamp jail, Eric sees what remains of rotting Pam, who horrifies him with her glowing description of the monster he used to be. Jason is convinced he's going to turn into a werepanther, and is comforted first by Sookie and then by Jessica to the point that he's almost disappointed not to shift. Lafayette and Jesus visit Abuelo de los Creepy who gives them some sort of protection that includes Jesus getting bit by a rattlesnake and Lafayette temporarily possessed by some other Mayan dude. In vamp jail, Marnie summons the spirit of the dead Spanish witch, and then goes all necromancy on her jail guard - who was one of the Spanish witch's tormentors back in the day. Tommy takes over Sam's body and a) fires Sookie, b) has sex with Luna, c) collapses in a pile of his own vomit. And Arlene and Terry's house burns down, thanks either to evil baby or the evil doll (maybe both?). And Baby Mikey gets a vision of Tiana from Princess and the Frog, or something.

Whew. What a week! There was so much action, almost nobody had time to think about their clothes. Which was a good thing and a bad thing, depending on who you're looking at. Someone who was much too busy to think about fashion this week was Pam, without a doubt.

Oh, sweetie. Whatever Marnie did to Pam is probably the worst imaginable punishment for a fab lady like this. Without her good looks, Pam is quite literally lost. She doesn't even take off this sheet until Eric (reluctantly) commands her to.

That being said, and despite her disfiguring facial condition, Pam is working it with everything she's got here. It's hard to see exactly what she's wearing, but I think I'm seeing an ankle-length black turtleneck dress and black leather gloves. One of the great things about True Blood is that everybody wears the same thing a few weeks in a row, so you can really get a good look at it.

For instance, has Marnie been wearing this green velvet dress for the last few episodes? If so, why didn't I notice until today that it's covered in kind of a velour paisley print? That print would look very nice on a throw pillow or something. And I wouldn't mind borrowing the chain belt.

Oh, hey there, Tommy-shifted-to-look-like-Sam. He was just getting dressed like any other day, putting on a plaid shirt, when suddenly he TURNED INTO SAM. Let this be a warning to the other men of Bon Temps: if you keep wearing plaid shirts, one day you will become Sam. A definite argument in favour of changing your wardrobe every now and then.

How much do I love that the show kept in that little Skype "boop boop beep!" sound when Bill called Nan. It's nice to see that even the undead enjoy free video conferencing. Nan's top here is either a silk blouse or some kind of silk blazer. Either way, she looks classy and quite businesslike, while still stylish...

... unlike Hoyt's Mom, who looks like trashy and mismatched, while still tragic. The Hawaiian print button-down? The pink appliqued tank? The frosted green eyeshadow? While her words (said to Sam, who was really Tommy) were extremely cruel, it's really no loss for Hoyt or Tommy that she's cut them out of her life. Good riddance, lady.

Another character who I hope we'll be saying "good riddance" to sometime soon is Debbie. Not just because of her Sookie-hating past, but also because of her Momsen-esque eye makeup and this hot mess of a sundress.

Maybe Sookie hates her so much, she's blacklisted her from all of the really cute sundress stores, so this is all that was left? What does Alcide see in her, seriously? What is this hold she has over him? It's really a shame Alcide is a werewolf, because he's so much better than the company he keeps.

King Bill also seems pretty unhappy hanging with vamps all the time. Also: I am tired of his 1980s Wall Street approach to suits. Get a DVD of Mad Men, watch it, and learn about how suits don't have to be SO BORING.

At the end of the episode, he threw a black leather jacket on top of his blue button-down to go brood out on his front porch. He finally looks like his old self again, here. I think it just kills him to see Sookie and Eric hanging out, and, like Eric suggested, he really does still love Sookie.

I have two picks for outfit of the week The first goes to Mysetry Lady, who may or may not be a human version of Tiana from "The princess and the frog."

I'm sorry to always be making these Disney comparisons but seriously. We don't know who this friendly ghost lady is, but we do know that she saved Baby Mikey from the fire, she's seriously gorgeous, and her cream-coloured vintage dress is to die for (pardon the pun).

Outfit of the week, right there, folks.

I Wish I Was the Moon - Part 2 of 2 - Moonshadow

So, we've looked at this week's baddies. This week's heroes were kind of grey, too. It's reached that point of the season where it's hard to tell who's a good guy and who's a bad guy.

Well, we know Sookie's always a good guy. She started off the episode having the pretty yellow sundress from last week ripped off by Erik, but they were sadly interrupted. She then changed into this cute pink hoodie and jean shorts for the rest of the episode.

I like her red sneakers here, too. Did they cast Anna Paquin for her ability to look fabulous in shorts, or did they start dressing her in shorts because Anna Paquin looks so cute? This is a chicken and egg scenario, and I don't suppose we'll ever know.

Tara was also wearing bright pink this week... and no pants.

It's really quite bad-ass of her to grab a gun and answer the door without first putting on a pair of pants. But when it turns out just to be her girlfriend visiting from New Orleans, it all works out OK.

Especially because Naomi's zebra-print top kind of fits in with Lafayette's leopard-print decorating scheme.

I LOVE Naomi's bronze nail polish. What, isn't that what you were looking at when they started making out? ... Just me?

Check out Tara and Naomi, being a functional couple in their complementary outfits! This is the most normal relationship Tara's ever been in, right?

I don't love Lafayette's look here, but he's well outside of his comfort zone in Jesus' Abuelo's Mayan magic shack. I do love that Lafayette is still wearing false lashes. I think he'd feel naked without them.

But we don't have to see that track jacket or those jeans or the yellow bandana again. Ever. OK? Thanks.

Note: this is Sam, not Tommy-pretending-to-be-Sam. I know it can be confusing, because Real Sam is not wearing plaid this week. I can't hate on him too much, though, because he looks really good in these cowboy shirts and jeans. Carry on, shapeshifter.

To anyone who says that the men of Bon Temps all dress alike, I present to you, Alcide. Take note, Jason and Hoyt and Sam and Tommy: this is called a henley. They look especially great on men with extremely muscley torsos.

And if you're going to wear a plaid shirt? Try it with a retro 1970s-inspired brown leather jacket. Yum.

Now, I don't know where Terry and Arlene got these jackets after their house burned down, but I love them. Terry in this Member's Only jacket, comforting his pet armadillo? Priceless. And Arlene's crocheted hoodie looks nice and cozy, the sort of thing you'd want to wrap yourself up in after your possibly-demon-spawn burns down your house.

Poor Luna. She finally decides to take the plunge and date Sam on the exact same day that the role of Sam is being played by his psychopath brother. When she was like, "I know this isn't a mistake!" could she hear the True Blood fans around the world shaking their heads and saying, "Oh honey."

I agree with Kim's call on this as outfit of the week. It's totally my #2 pick and was really cute, for the 0.5 seconds that she was wearing it. Poor her.

Not much to report about Jessica's outfit this week, since the only thing she wore was her Merlotte's uniform. I just wanted to point out how pretty she is. Look at her hair! She is GORGEOUS! That is like, Pretty Little Liars hair! And, considering she was possibly the only waitress at Merlotte's that night (Arlene and Holly busy with their house fires and Sookie fired), she seems remarkably composed.

And Eric wore the sleeveless hoodie and board shorts for the 50000th time in a row. I still love him, even if his outfit is tragic and his haircut is borderline tragic. Look at the puppydog eyes! Even the vampire king couldn't bring himself to kill such a cute little guy.

So Bill's a bad guy... or maybe not? And Eric's a good guy... for now. By next week, I predict that some of these roles will be even harder to differentiate, especially if Marnie starts necromancing all of the vampires.

Can't wait!

Mini Recap: I Wish I Was the Moon

What's new in Bon Temps? Oh, you know, houses burning down, various were-people running amuck through the woods...you know, the usual. 

Plaid Shirt Count = 3

Country Girl Chic of the Week
What do you know, Luna gets this one again with another black number with giant pink flowers. She only wears it for a few minutes in this episode, but I saw enough to love it. I need to take a road trip down to Louisiana to visit the sundress superstore where these girls shop.

Philosophy ala Vamp
"You can't run from what's inside you, but it might be a blessing if you let it" - Sookie to Jason. Deep, Sook. Very deep. This little nugget of wisdom was a shock to hear from someone who makes so few wise choices. She must be reading "Fairy-like Quotes for Every Occasion" before bed. 

Best "Uh-Oh" Moment
Wow, there was so much "uh-oh" in this episode, I hardly know where to start. Arlene's baby is not only possibly possessed and evil, but now he is seeing strange women standing in the street in vintage dresses. The Spanish witch entered Marnie's body and is now using it to...well, she hasn't used it yet but I am anticipating she will. Jessica and Jason are crushing on each other?! No, think of Hoyt! I don't think I can pick one moment as the "best" (or "worst", I guess? The "best-worst"?). 

Biggest Shocker
Just when I thought Sam and Tommy's relationship could not get anymore dysfunctional, Tommy goes and turns into Sam and sleeps with his girlfriend! Not only that, but he yells at her to get out afterward so now she thinks Sam is a jerk. Tommy sure is breaking hearts all over town in short order. Maybe next episode he will make himself useful and morph into Freud. 

Catch the full moon on Wednesday when Ann will present her full recap of this episode!