Episode Synopsis: Is it just me or are drunk vampires, like, totally awesome? After dining on Sookie’s fairy godmother, Claudine, Eric is adorably tipsy and immune to sunlight... for a little bit. Luckily, Alcide was around to help Sookie find Eric before he burnt like any meal I’ve ever tried to cook ever. But even luckier for us, Alcide took his top off! It’s the little things (or in this case, incredibly chiseled things) that make us happy. So while Eric is an emotional roller coaster, Nan is putting the pressure on Bill, as Pam does likewise to Tara, Jesus, LaFayette and Rhiannon- I mean, Marni. On top of all of that strong arming, Sam shows up at Luna’s house to find out she has a ridiculously cute daughter, Arlene deals with her murder baby, and Tommy finds out that Melinda isn’t exactly a mother hen.
My my, Bill Compton, aren’t we looking regal this evening? Or morning? I can never tell with you vampires. Here’s the thing about this suit: it’s fine if you’re the school superintendent, not a fabulously wealthy bloody vampire king. Emphasis on the royalty, OK? Bill, snap out of it.
Ah, now that’s more like it - a chocolate brown suit and is that lavender I spy? Oh, with a matching pocket square! I’ve never been to the Deep South (even though I’ve always thought about visiting), and I would assume that being a king of anything down there would equate to pimp status. Hence, this outfit. I approve - and I remember when saying “pimp” was slang for “fashionable” or “ballin’”. Yikes.
OMG it’s Mona! Or Mrs. Tate! Or Grandma Bellefleur! Pick your poison... and high fives to anyone who gets all three television references. If you’ve ever wanted to see a Southern dame, check this B out. That scarf is amazeatron9000 and coupling it with a three-stringed pearl necklace is pretty much the height of Southern elegance. Blanche Deveraux, eat your heart out.
“Just banging my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-whatever granddaughter LOL.”
“He totes is, G-ma. U mad bro?”
Seriously, Bill, I’d check up on stuff like that before you start throwing your cat everywhere. Who do you think you are? A were-panther?
Although, in this stunning satin sapphire top, Portia does look amazing. Man, that was a total alliteration win. Anyway, I find it interesting that she belted the top. Well, not so much interesting as annoying. I know I’m going to take heat for this but I’m getting kind of tired with the belted everything these days. Unless she’s using that to whip Katerina later. That broad really grinds my gears.
Now, here’s the thing about True Blood fashions - they repeat. A lot. Mostly because the show runs in relative real time i.e. this episode picks up right where the previous one ended. Other episodes only show a day or two passing in True Blood (at most) in between real world airings. Get what I’m saying? No? Basically: I’m not posting a photo of Eric in the sleeveless hoody and basketballs shorts again. It’s done, people!
What I will post is Eric Northman, topless, swimming in the sunlight, yelling at alligators in an ancient Norse language.
Seeing that this is my first recap, I’m going to point out my first beef with this season: Eric’s hair. What. The. Hell? I’m seeing an awkward bowl cut mixed with Gareth from The Office BBC multiplied by humidity. This is one of the hottest men on the show and he’s got a haircut that makes him look like your dorky younger brother in the throes of puberty? No way, yo.
In case you were wondering why Nan Flanagan is head of the American Vampire League, check this out. Head to toe leather, a tight hair bun, streetwalking red lipstick and that necklace that says, “I’m prim and proper but if you’re into some slap and tickle, I’m down”. Oh, the shoulder pads - of course they’re there. Nan, you’re a powerhouse.
Now, out of this group shot, can you tell which one is the vampire?
That’s right, the one with the hip cocked out and the boots that go on for days. No surprise here, it’s Pam. However, I am a bit surprised she decided to wear this for the spell reversal party. I would have thought that any backup dancer from Madonna’s “Blonde Ambition” tour would store their costume in a special place.
Finally, we come back to Sookie Stackhouse a.k.a. I’m a plague on Bon Temps and I probably should have moved years ago to save them the heartache of losing loved ones every summer television season. At least you look banging in these shorts. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen you in anything other than shorts, save for the odd dress here and there. Whatevs, you look cute.
Such a cute little hoody! Even if it is nearly the same green as on a Merlotte’s waitress t-shirt. I guess you stick with what you know, right Sook? Considering recent our roundtable on Pretty Little Liars' Aria’s sartorial choices, I find it hilariously frustrating that Sookie’s hoody is cropped. Girl, if it’s that warm in Bon Temps that you don’t want to wear a full hoody - how about you don’t wear one at all? Hmm?
OK, so Arlene doesn’t really have much to do with the vampire and vampire related friends in this episode. She’s also in this episode for less than 5 minutes so I needed to try and balance the entries. I’m not sure how I feel about the whole “demon baby/possessed doll/or is it something else?” sub-plot that’s going on, but these teaser scenes just drive me crazy. But so does Arlene’s hair.