It's another "Champagne Sorrows" Screening Room, where we watch rich people and their problems!
This week's episodes:
90210 - "Rush Hour"
Revenge - "Pilot"
Ok, we need to talk about Revenge first...
I might as well be honest with you now: you’re going to LOVE “Revenge”. Seriously, this might be the show I’m most excited about. And I own a “Pan-Am” bag.
What you need to know:
Basically, “Revenge” is a modern twist on the classic novel The Count of Monte Cristo. We’re following Emily Thorne - aka Amanda Clarke - as she infiltrates the super elite Hamptons society with the goal of destroying the families that ruined her life. All you really need to know is that there will be some serious fashion, some seriously attractive people and, most importantly, some surrrrrrrrious dramz.
Let's meet the main characters
1) The One Out For "Revenge"
This would be the lovely Emily Thorne, formerly Amanda Clarke. We don’t know exactly what her father was arrested for, but we know it changed Emily’s life. Snatched from her home at a young age, Emily seems to have done some hard time in juvie and clearly picked up some criminal mastermind techniques. At least she knows how to rock a Grecian dress; how fabulous was that dress on the boat? Oh, did I mention she’s super wealthy?
2) The Best Friend
Ashley Davenport - upcoming PR maven and happy transplant from Croydon, England. For right now, Ashley is some comic relief with a sultry accent. She loves her job, wishes she was part of the societal elite, is comfortable around a bottle of champagne and definitely does not want to go back to Croydon. I can sympathize.
3) The One In Charge
Victoria Grayson. Let that name strike fear into the hearts of Hamptons-goers and WASPs everywhere. Don’t let the form fitted couture fool you, beneath her sour expression is a poisonous centre filled with malice. In the pilot, Victoria bans her friend, Lydia, from the Hamptons after she finds out the woman slept with her husband. That’s right - bans her from the entire geographical location. Victoria has her own security task force whose job is, apparently, to eject frail adulterers from dockside charity events. Damn, sister.
4) The Perfect Family
The Graysons? They’re hardly perfect, but it’s all about keeping up appearances. Conrad, Charlotte aka “Charlie”, and Daniel all have some pretty glaring flaws but next to Victoria, they look like The Little Rascals. We’ve seen poor Daniel on the business end of a gun at the top of the show, so I’m going to avoid getting attached to that one. Even with his frat boyish good looks and skinny tie. Out of the bunch, I think I like Conrad the best. I know, I was shocked too, but the rebellious teenager act that Charlie is fronting doesn’t feel genuine to me. Who orders a round of Rum & Coke at lunchtime? That's Long Island Iced Tea time, you cow.
5) The Lovable Oaf
First of all, his name is Jack - could he be any more all-American? Big, strong, handsome, and dedicated to saving the world, Jack Porter is the eligible bachelor in the Hamptons... who just happens to own a boat named “Amanda”. And he just happens to have a Golden Retriever named Sam that is featured prominently in Emily’s flashbacks. Yeah, don’t expect any subtlety in “Revenge”. When will Jack realize the hot new brooding chick in town just happens to be the long, lost love of his life? I’m sorry, I never knew alliteration was so dramatic.
6) The Ones We Haven't Heard The Last Of
Eric van der Woodsen! Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. We all remember him as the precocious gay brother on “Gossip Girl” but in this series, Connor Paolo is Declan Porter, Jack’s younger brother. His adorable, mischievous younger brother. Speaking of trouble, the hot mess of a character that is Nolan will definitely pose a few challenges to Emily. Mostly because he knows she’s Amanda, was friends with her dad, and is the source of her vast fortune. Oh yeah, he's a keeper.
Finally, I’ve included Lydia (the skank) because I honestly don’t think her time on this show is over. I mean, she was the one that testified against Emily’s dad and caused a late night break-in by the FBI. Plus, she’s got bitch face 24/7 and looks great in a retro print. You can’t just throw that away.
You guys, I CAN’T WAIT to see more episodes of “Revenge”. The fashion is top notch; the characters are just at the tip of cheese mountain so it’s not completely over the top; and everyone is attractive. Seriously, Emily is total babe. Plus: Eric van der Woodsen!
Meanwhile, on the opposite coast...
Those kids from West Beverly never cease to amaze me. You’ve got your fake kidnappings, a dash of hazing, and buying a bar while drunk. Why is the first week of college in teen dramas always the WORST week of your life?
Naomi is my favourite girl character. Yeah, I know, what a surprise that the ‘mo loves the wealthy, stylish bitch. Checking out the goods from left to right:
1) Pledging the number one sorority on campus? It’s time to break out something from the First Lady collection. This is definitely not prim, but certainly proper and...is that a zipper on the front?
2) I’ve only included this shot because of the shoes. It’s always about the shoes, and these classic black pumps are extra chic with the winding strap. Top shelf choice, girl.
3) It’s a shame this 80s update was ruined by Naomi’s dinner with a giant swine, but how do we feel about the earrings? I think they’re cute, but with this dress? You can’t force an Art Deco look with green enamel flowers.
As for Naomi’s partner in crime, Annie seems to be favouring high waisted skirts this season. It’s almost like she’s pulling off the peasant theme but wants to show her shape. Fair play Annie, but I’m pretty much dead, dying and in love over the blue lace number. Why was that saved for the last three minutes of the episode?! They had better recycle that dress - it was fantastic.
Speaking of adorable dresses, check out Adrianna. She might be totally mental, but she knows how to kill the sundress look. I suppose it comes down to whether you prefer polka-dots or patchwork because both are spot on. Do you think Adrianna’s wearing clothes that are more “cutesy” now that she’s reformed her unstable, soap opera level ways? Postscript: I like polka-dots best.
I’m sorry, we’ve just got to go back to Naomi for like, one minute. Seriously, just one minute! Take a look at these photos and agree with me that Naomi knows her way around the colour white. The pants? The top? Excellent. My only complaint is that she consistently accessorizes with gold and still wears a pale lip colour. Naomi, sweetie, you’re bordering on Southern California Zombie. It’s stylish, but kind of unsettling.
This week, Silver proved two things:
1) She’s still (in my mind) the best dressed female on 90210
2) She’s pretty ambivalent when it comes to runaways and kidnappings
OK, she hasn’t exactly had an easy path in life, but you think she could have feigned a little worry when her boyfriend’s sister went missing. Checking the Twitter stream? Clever, but harsh - at least move out of your desk chair. Silver's biggest win this week was the maiden inspired ivory blouse you see on the right. I don't know it was the ruffling on the sleeves, the flowy nature of the top, or the fact that girlfriend is wearing something straight up from the 19th century, but it was hot.
The supporting (soon to be full-time) ladies all have very distinct wardrobes. Leila looks like your typical teenager in Beverly Hills: over styled and reppin’ a decade they know nothing about. Holly is your classic sorority HBIC, rocking a blazer, but the stripe adds a delightful nautical touch and her shirt underneath is screaming to be noticed. I love it. The real surprise this week was the mysterious Jane, whose woven belt and Boho dress were eight shades of cute. I have a feeling she’s going to be "the indie chick".
Finally, we have the boys of 90210. All in all, you’re not going to see a lot of daring fashion choices here. They can’t all be Chuck Bass, am I right? Dixon is a musician now, so he has to dress the part of handsome man in the hip-hop industry; Austin is a cowboy so there’s your plaid quotient; Navid is Silver’s boyfriend which means he’ll be the hipster; and Liam looks like the illegitimate child of Abercrombie and Hollister. Although, I must say, I lost it over Navid’s cardigan which is now on my to-buy list.
So... this cowboy... Austin? Really? Must you be named after a city in Texas? At least they didn’t call you Dallas or San Antonio.
I have to be honest, this season of 90210 feels promising. I lost my way near the end of Season Two and sort of dipped in and out of Season Three, but I could be persuaded to come back around. Anyway, I need to see what happens next week... and I do love me a cowboy with a silly grin.
Anywho, enough about me - what did you think?