The Roundtable: Serena, Season 4

Welcome to a new feature on YKYLF - The Roundtable. Here, we gather, rehash, and opine on memorable styles seen on memorable characters. Join us for our first meeting...

The Participants - the YKYLF editorial board (Jen, Amanda, Kate, Lesley-Anne)
The Subject - Gossip Girl's Serena van der Woodsen, as seen in Season 4

Jen Luby: Hello and welcome! Let's dive right in with Serena's "Fashion's Night Out" dress from The Undergraduates: Amanda Smith: On the one hand, it's long, so at least she's following the rule of exposing only one body part at a time. So, points for that. Lesley-Anne Steelworthy: It's a Monet. From far away, I don't hate it. But the closer I get, the more confused I am. There seems to be some halter action. And a gigantic train. and possibly a slit. Kate O’Leary: I want to love it but can't get past the grandma pumps... AS: True, they're a little staid for that dress. The shoes, not the breasts. KO: I also keep wondering about the bra/tape situation. No one’s boobs are that perky in that neckline. L-A: I think Serena owns stock in the wardrobe tape business. Normal people would be falling out of her outfits. AS: Well as we've all seen by now, Lively's Blakettes defy gravity.

JL: Speaking of only exposing one body part at a time, she sort of does it here in the ballet gala dress from Juliet Doesn't Live Here Anymore AS: And she brought enough macarons to share with the whole class! KO: I LOVE this dress minus the spiderweb. AS: I'm with you on the dress from the waist up. It's a great neckline. JL: And for the Girl With No Pants, this is an improvement. AS: Yes, now she's just the Girl With Strategically Placed Drapery. KO: I'm curious why she has that drape. What's she hiding there? Nasty bruises? JL: She's hiding SECRETS! L-A: You could have a secret flask pocket in that drapey bit. KO: I bet she's hiding men. She always has some guy waiting around for her... JL: Well now we know where Carter Baizen went. L-A: I miss that beltless dude.

JL: How about a palette cleanser. Staffer Bethany called this ensemble from The Kids Stay in the Picture, "a fairy tale ensemble that had me believing again." L-A: It's...dare I say...classy? AS: Her hair is brushed for a formal occasion. KO: I applaud the hair. L-A: I'm pretty sure the slit will be dangerous when she walks, but for Serena, this is tame. Plus, the combed hair. JL: I’m with you ladies...I absolutely can’t get over the hair. AS: And she brought something to keep herself warm. You guys, she's actually acknowledging potential temperature shifts! KO: Too bad this was for an indoor photoshoot.

JL: Speaking of staying warm, How do we feel about see-through Fair Isle sweaters, as in this one from Damien Darko? AS: Ah yes. The slutty Fair Isle. Perfect for fishermen and hookers. L-A: "Oooh! This says sexy and woodsy!" KO: Come on guys, it's sheer. What more could you want in a sweater? L-A: I want to be there for the shopping trip when she picked that one out. KO: I want to be there when she decided to pair those gaudy earrings with that sweater. JL: I'd think they would snag the sleeve. one random arm gesture, and bye-bye mesh. AS: Ok, I've just decided we need a web series where Lily comments on Serena's wardrobe. L-A: That would be an excellent bonus feature on the DVD. Josh Schwartz needs to call us. KO: For so many reasons.

JL: Well, the not-a-sweater did cover up the goods, unlike this little number from Easy J: L-A: Hello boobs! AS: Sometimes her chest looks like a Barbie doll's. KO: Half-dominatrix, half-Blair. JL: She IS rocking the peplum... L-A: And a little Dynasty. I want her to throw a bottle of wine and then pull someone's hair. This dress is made for a Krystal/Alexis style showdown.  KO: WAIT. I just noticed this outfit was pants. L-A: Pants? what now? KO: I know. L-A: She could be a Bond villainess in this number. AS: A Russian villaness. KO: And her specialty is smothering people with her chest. AS: "Well, Mr. Bond. I think you'll find that I have certain ... assets that will take your breath away." JL: I have a feeling we could discuss Serena-as-bond-girl all day. AS: We might need to write this movie. KO: And have control of the wardrobe department. AS: I think Eric Daman would do just fine in the wardrobe department for our purposes. If there's one man who knows how to display her arsenal, it's Eric Daman. KO: He can assist.

JL: Moving on. While recapping Touch of Eva, L-A said "From far away, you're wowed by the colours. You want to run up and tell them that they look good. But when you get close [...] you back away and grab a champagne or two and pretend you didn't see them." AS: The Bat signal dress! L-A: The thing is, if your dress can't flatter Blake Lively in any way shape or form, you've failed. Who made this? I need to speak to them. KO: That would be J Mendel. AS: It's like J Mendel saw Blake Lively as a challenge. Anyone can make Blake Lively look good. The true test of a skilled designer is if they can intentionally make her look terrible. L-A: So true. Golf claps to J Mendel then. KO: I’m confused by her hair. Did she get ADD halfway through braiding? L-A: She forgot she owns a comb or has access to a stylist. AS: Who needs stylists when you can half-ass a braid?

JL: Let's stay with Touch of Eva for a moment and examine her strolling outfit from earlier in the episode: L-A: It's like...a walk of shame in progress. KO: This is one of the days she couldn't find her hairbrush. AS: Or her dry shampoo. L-A: Maybe Blair keeps hiding the brush. JL: My feet HURT just looking at those shoes. Those are not strolling shoes. L-A: ...they’re sitting shoes. KO: I just noticed that her legs come up to Dan's navel. AS: I kind of don't hate the actual outfit, though that might be my love of sparkly things and stripes talking. L-A: That skirt is what staffer Anthony and I affectionately call the "vag-wrap". And by "affectionately" I mean usually with an "oh honey no" moment of horror.

JL: Serena's been showing a lot of skin, so let's take a look at a scene from It-Girl Happened One Night where she is way covered up. AS: Back at home, Lily is wondering where her rug went. L-A: It's what happens with a leather bomber/shearling jacket mates with a blanket. AS: This is like what someone would create if they were unfamiliar with outerwear. JL: Right? One strong breeze and you're a parachute. AS: Maybe she's just coming back from a Bond Girl mission, and that is her parachute. KO: Although...being a Chicago girl and dealing with our unruly winters, it looks SO warm. JL: Looks can be deceiving. I don't think that's going to keep you warm while waiting on the L platform on a February morning. KO: Well, Serena would never wear a full-length North Face 700 coat. L-A: Not unless you cut out places for her boobs. JL: A la Regina George? L-A: Exactly.

JL: Ok, we've been ragging on S's hair a lot, but here in Goodbye, Columbia it was perfection... ...as was the back of her ensemble... ...but then we have the front: L-A: Sigh. I remember that one. I had so much hope. KO: I adored that hair and makeup. I think she actually took a cue from Lauren Conrad. AS: Yeah, she looks great with the winged eyeliner. JL: Everyone looks good with winged eyeliner. Except Amy Winehouse. L-A: But even LC knows the front of that dress is a mess. The pleats make her boobs look saggy, and we know full well they aren't. KO: It's almost like Lily tried to give her a suggestion on what to wear and S took it the wrong way. L-A: Are there chains hanging from her dress? AS: Yes, she repurposed the straps of her old Chanel bags. JL: Well, what ELSE does one do with an old Chanel bag? AS: Good point. My grandmother is always showing up to lunch with Chanel chains sewn onto her sweater sets.

JL: Moving on. It's Amanda's nightmare from Belles du Jour... BIG! PINK! PANTS! AS: I was dreading these. Bottom hiked up like she's Steve freakin' Urkle, top sagging like she's late for the early bird special. KO: If these were a less offensive color, I think this outfit would be acceptable. JL: Yes, then we would just mock the top. L-A: The bag is bigger than most of her skirts. KO: Yeah...is she going on house calls in this episode? JL: What could she possibly be carrying around that requires that much storage? L-A: Small children? KO: Boob tape? AS: Chuck? L-A: Ooh, he was missing for a while...

JL: Let’s end on this look from The Kids Are Not Alright: KO: Hello, Lily! AS: This makes me miss first season Serena and her uniforms. JL: She did have great uniforms. L-A: Maybe that's her problem - too many years in uniform. She just doesn't know how to to dress herself. KO: That can't be it. I wore a uniform for 12 years and know perfectly well how to dress. I blame her time at boarding school. L-A: Maybe! There was a lot of booze and pharmaceuticals. That can't be good for the part of the brain that knows how to dress appropriately for social situations and weather. KO: True. As we recall, it was Chuck who convinced her to dress as Lily. AS: I'd like to think that Chuck styled this outfit himself. JL: Chuck-as-stylist needs to be another DVD bonus feature. AS: "Don't you own anything a little less ... like something I'd find on my bedroom floor the morning after?'  KO: Does the necklace have marbles on it? L-A: Possibly. And some really fancy macrame. AS: Maybe this is what Serena made for Lily when she was at fancy daycare. JL: And yet, I don't hate it. Possibly because I can't see all of it. L-A: I was grasping at straws with the necklace. The rest of the outfit is aces. JL: So basically, we like Serena best when she's dressed like someone else? AS: Yes. KO: Yes. L-A: Pretty much.

Comments

[anaismac]

I love it! Great idea! I really enjoy your funny and witty comments!! I love YKYLF website & blog! I found you just last month but I went already through all your recaps and I love them all ;) I watched the shows but a lot of times I'm looking forward for your recap more than the actual episodie.

Btw, I read you from Spain (so please forgive my possible mistakes, I know how strong some of you feel about proper spelling and grammar).

A big YKYLF fan

Anaïs

[Jen - YKYLF Editor-in-Chief]

Gracias, Anaïs! We're tickled rosada that you love YKYLF! :)