Screening Room: The Scotch Soaked 60s - #12 - Meet The Parents vs. Mission Impossible

Hey, here’s a thought: why not introduce your parents to the chick you’ve been shacking up with for two weeks as a replacement for the fiancee that mysteriously disappeared? No? OK, just sneak your anarchist friend into First Class. Oh you girls, you keep me young.

This week’s episode: 
Pan Am - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Let me just start off by saying that YES, I’ve heard the cancellation rumours and YES, many YKYLF staff were less than upset and NO, I didn’t cry about Pan Am possibly leaving our lives forever. 

Much. So, if this truly is to be the last post, you'll indulge me if it's a little longer than usual...

You know who seems to be taking the potentially-cancellation news well? Laura, because girlfriend was looking especially tarty this week. I use the term “tarty” because they’re in London, where indirectly calling someone a skank is a compliment. Her opening scene is rather... revealing, but that black dress she wears later is astounding. Ted should only be so lucky that she would pretend to be his girlfriend! The cut is nearly perfect, she’s got curves for days, and topping it off with that poppy lipstick - I swear, if I did drag, I’d try to emulate this look.

Not be outdone (even if he always comes up short), is Mr. Ted Vanderway. The suit didn’t exactly blow me away, although I did appreciate the kicky teal tie. Actually, Ted wins my vote for favourite male this week because of that fantastic tweed coat he’s wearing in the park with Laura. Next to her Hart of Dixie tribute, Ted looks positively smashing. (I brought the English slang this week...don't worry, there's enough for the whole class.)

Compared to the other men this week, Ted is like the Tom Ford of ‘Pan Am’. Wow - I just felt a little part of me die writing that analogy. (clockwise from top left):

Ugh. A substitute captain? If he was handsome, I could let it slide, but he’s a crotchety old misogynist. Two wings down for Captain Thornton.

Oh, Seth - you’re proof that hipsters existed in Washington Heights even before the 90s became ironic. You all know I love me a good plaid, but when you find ugly plaid... it’s UGLY. If only your passion for nuclear politics was diverted even 1% toward your fashion sense, you’d be the cutest little stowaway ever. I'm glad he didn't prominently feature in the episode, it was getting a little too 'Occupy Pan Am' for me.

Is there anything more sexy than a confident congressman who’s bent on nuking the enemy? No, I didn’t think so.

The CIA/FBI/DEA/WTF/OMG/LOL agent that keeps harassing Kate is looking a little more Dick Tracy every time we see him. Where’s Flat Top and the gang, gumshoe? Can’t see the action from underneath that fedora? WE CAN SEE IT, STOP TILTING IT DOWN.

This week, Kate got drawn back into the spy game via an empty threat about Bridget, and a very real threat about losing her job. If I was in her situation, I’d be all over keeping my job. To hell with Bridget, that bitch is history. Besides, Kate's (potentially) getting some diamonds out of the deal. My real question this week is what planet did those earrings come from? ‘Cause they’s outta dis wurld!

Yeah, I’d be pretty chuffed too if my pocket-square matched my skinny tie. Man, that tie... it’s gorgeous. I’m not normally one for purple, but the criss-cross of lavender shades is making me want to listen to some Prince. And dance with men.

So, when Dean pulled up outside Colette’s apartment in head to toe denim, my first thought was, “what fetish club are they going to in broad daylight”? My second was, “shit... I’ve definitely worn that outfit before”. But finally, my third thought rested on Dean’s sunglasses. Must they always be a half tint? What happened to mystery? Not to mention the fact that he looks mighty suspicious. Like Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”, if you following my meaning.

But Dean and Colette do make a very handsome couple. Or is it pretty? I can never tell. Alright, they make one sexy ass couple. I mean, she’s so cute in her florals and pea-coat, and Dean is so American in his denim wrapper. 

Plus, they actually went for a real life roll in the hay.

Yeah girl!

Did I mention that Dean is the epitome of the All-American Boy? If you didn’t grasp that concept, just take a look behind the car. Girlfriend really was raised in a barn. 

Well, I feel like the cancellation rumours could be totes true because every Pan Am ad this week mentioned TWILIGHT GUEST STAR!!!!!!!!! Ashley Greene. Cast as Ted’s old nemesis/crush Amanda Mason, girl nailed it with her wardrobe. The gloves are perfect for an upper crust American in England, and the dress was totally 60s chic. But once again, I’m taken with the earrings. I think tying in the feather brooch with the fern/feather earring was brilliant. And I say that in light of my many hair-feather remarks over on Pretty Little Liars.

That’s right Ted, you’re looking at a real life actress from the teen literature sensation TWILIGHT!!!!!!!

Did anyone else notice that Maggie’s usual spitfirey-ness was dialled back this week? Was that to make Seth look like a total hippie? Usually, she’d be all Kennedy this, and civil rights that, but instead she hooked up with the congressman set on nuclear war. Oh well, at least she looked foxy in that cardigan. Plus, she paired it with a skinny trouser, which I sadly could not capture - even with all of my Photoshop magic. Thanks a lot, ABC.

Colette was pictured earlier but this outfit needs a full H to T for maximum appreciation. It’s so country, yet so fashion. I swear, your cancellation tweets better not be true. Give me at least a full season! Don’t leave me! *I swear, I have a life. But I also have developed a strong attachment to this show*

Yeah, I know - I need to get out more.

What? No, I’m not talking to the screencaps. Don’t give me that look.

Oh, bee tee dubz - someone’s gonna get shot up in here. And Kate’s pullin’ the trigger.