Screening Room: Teen Stars We Loved - #6 - Turning Up the Heat
Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 10:47AM | Bethany Boulden - Staff Writer Another edition of the Teen Stars We Loved Screening Room, featuring SMG + Rachel Bilson
This week's episodes:
Ringer - "The Poor Kids Do it Everyday"
Hart of Dixie - "In Havoc and in Heat"
First up, Hart of Dixie. . .
Apparently in BlueBell, when the heat rises, everyone's inhibitions evaporate until nothing remains of previous good intentions. Nearly every character in the show repeated this mantra over and over until I was ready to see some really down and dirty action come out of the heat wave. Instead, what we got was contrived and stale love triangles topped with a light fluffy romantic comedy meringue.
Basically, Zoe wants Golden Boy George Tucker, but is willing to settle for Good Ol' Boy Wade because aforementioned Golden Boy is currently engaged to Southern Belle Psychopath Lemon Breeland. And of course, Lemon wants Super Hot Mayor Lavon Hayes. Who can blame her? He's practically sex on a stick.
Of course, Wade isn't so bad either.
Like Dan on Gossip Girl, he sure loves him a plaid shirt.
Unlike Dan, he looks like this underneath it.
Any woman who can resist this (especially when it's wet), is certifiably insane. Clearly, Dr. Zoe is not in her right mind.
Also screwing up Dr. Zoe is her penchant for tight black clothing, which is possibly the single most uncomfortable thing she could pick to wear when it's 110 degrees and muggy.
Super cute dress, but ugh, I'm cringing just looking at her--and breaking out the ice cubes.
The next day, she breaks out a more comfortable looking pair of shorts, but again, she seems stuck in a color rut.
Honey child, black is the hottest color you can wear. Just FYI.
Zoe's "Wade Seduction" dress is pretty generic, but the brocade touches on the bandage-like dress do add some interest. Plus, having curly hair myself, I can totally sympathize with her frizzy, strung-out mane.
Zoe? This is what you wear when it's two hundred million degrees outside.
A cute, light, flowery sundress. She looks so much cooler than Zoe does, which speaks volumes considering that our dear Dr. Hart is the one with all the advanced medical degrees.
The other headshaker this episode is Lemon. And no, I'm not referring to her citrusy name.
For a minute I thought the heat had confused her into thinking she was an actress auditioning for a part in the next remake of The Stepford Wives.
Also, someone should tell her that wearing yellow is just a little too ironic for her intelligence level.
As for Ringer. . .
I miss Gemma. All the hunky men panting after Shivette are awesome and everything, but let's face it, a pair of great pecs and some soulful gazes don't replace a silver sequinned minidress or a chic suit--and without Gemma, there's a distinct lack of female fashion in Ringer. I don't count Juliet, really, because like Shivette says, she's a little "fabric challenged."
Everyone (i.e. the police and Shivette) is worried about Gemma's disapperance. Everyone except her husband, that is. We still don't know where Gemma has gone, but there is quite a lot of blood and broken pottery, and no sassy redhead to be found. Meanwhile, Juliet embarks on her public school adventure, and unsurprisingly, is instantly taunted for her expensive, trashy clothes, and gains the attention of a young teacher for the exact same reason. Because that's all Juliet needs--an inappropriate relationship with a teacher. Is this Pretty Little Liars or Ringer?
For once, Andrew tries to act like something resembling a father and demands Juliet change when she wants to go to school in this:
Do those even count as shorts? And why in god's name is she wearing a chain that would look at home on an elephant?
Even aftger changing, she doesn't look much better. That cape is ridiculous, and if she had a single thought in her head that she hadn't destroyed with drugs, she would have known better than to wear that to public school.
Mr. Carpenter, AKA the second half in the future inappropriate relationship, is cute and young enough to gain Ms. Martin's immediate attention.
The straight-laced tie says "authority figure" but the edgy detailed button-up says "come get you some". Well, that's what it's saying to Juliet, anyway.
Unlike Mr. Carpenter, Andrew knows how to work the dress code.
Love the ice blue and silver broacde tie, and the matching pocket square. He might not out-Chuck Chuck, but he still presents a pretty decent effort in the CW Men's Dandy Sweepstakes.
Shivette's rocking the super short skirt, and the big blousy top that would hide any evidence of her pregnancy, if she was actually pregnant.
Love the black booties, and the across-the-shoulder bag. Very chic New York. I will say that Bridget dressing as Siobhan looks ten times better than Siobhan dressing as Siobhan.
As for Siobhan herself, she looks like hell, despite her beautiful midnight blue robe trimmed in lace.
Morning sickness sure plays havoc with your evil plans, right Shiv?
Time to VOTE!
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