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Entries in 01x21 (2)

Saturday
May192012

Grief - Part 1 of 2 - Beez In The Trap 

Y’all, we are just ONE episode away from closing out the first season of Revenge (!!!), and can I just say it’s been a pleasure riding this emotional rollercoaster with you? I remember recapping the first episode and thinking, “...this shit is going to be out of control”. From the flashbacks, to the plot twists, the forgettable character introductions and, of course, the Red Sharpie of Doom, I’ve loved every minute. Now down to business, namely the business of straight up murder. Emily’s finally got a lead on the White Haired Man so naturally she’s charging in head first and using Nolan as a human shield. Charlotte’s gotten all 12-Steppy which is great to see, but she obviously just needs to detox from her family. Daniel has totally owned his role as New Suit on the Block, while Ashley’s back to planning lavish parties/weddings. And the real dramz this week? Well, it starred Jack and the other stunning natural blonde in the Hamptons - Sammy. 

 

Poor Charlotte. Seriously. The girl starts off as a Plastic, wearing rompers and sundresses, graduates to Grayson Couture, and finds out that not only is she the product of an affair, but that her family is like an upper-class version of The Departed. Yet with all that material to work with, she’s about as lively as frat boy after a flip cup tournament. The skirt blouse combo is great, although the no-sleeve thing feels out of place. You can’t see in this shot but she’s also rocking knee-high boots which feel a little forced. 

 

Declan, did you borrow one of Nolan’s bomber jackets from 2002? He’s already paying your tuition, did you need to raid his closet as well? Not that it looks terrible on Declan, but I’ve never liked coats for dudes with wool collars. Ever. Someone get this boy a scarf.

 

Alright, Charlotte does a classic storm-out during the “family” therapy session at Grayson Manor and immediately heads to Declan’s. But there’s one (predictable) problem: the hot girl from school is over and walks out of the shower JUST as Charlotte tells Declan she loves him. Classic Soap Move. For some reason, Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” kept playing in my head. Thus, a caption was born.

 

Oh, hey Victoria’s stunning coat, I didn’t see you come in. It could be the light playing tricks, but I swear those buttons are tortoise shell. And if they are, then a series of windmill snaps is in your favour, Queen V.

 

Whatever happened to my polo loving, prepster peppered man-boy Daniel Grayson? He’s gone all corporate. Sure, the man can wear the hell out of suit, but I refuse to believe the men in this show go from suit to pyjamas. Where’s the in-between, paint stained sweats? At any rate, Daniel’s combo of blue and brown (at least I see brown) is effortless and didn’t make me vom like that 2008 trend where everything was powder blue and chocolate brown. 

 

Numba. One. Stunna. Victoria Grayson, you have worn many, many vacuum sealed dresses in your time, but this one takes the cake and eats it alone in a closet during your 22nd birthday party. The scarlet colour is a beauty and simply accessorizing with a gold bracelet is perfect. Aside from the weird indentation on your waist line, it’s seamless. Actually, it could quite literally be seamless. Fashion Jokes! 

 

Connie, you’re so sassy this week! Obviously rocking the respectable Republican look, with your sensible cut suit and deep red tie. Can’t say I love the shade of Capitol Hill brown you’ve chosen but the hand on the hip makes up for that. Maybe he’s born with it?

 

Could shacking up with your longtime fling have something to do with the spring in your step? No matter how you block the scene, Lydia will always look taller than Connie because she is a total Amazonian. Her sheer silk robe that seems to be held closed by willpower forced the “I’m an adulterer” schtick in my face, but I’ve always had a soft spot for the woman who survived falling off her balcony and imprisonment at Grayson Manor. 

 

Particularly when she wears animal skin like it's nobody's business.

 

Oh yeah, these ladies have some unfinished business. Queen V, not content to ever be second fiddle, heads back to the penthouse to unleash some venom on Lyds.

 

“Why would Conrad hold onto something that he knows has little value whatsoever. Other than you of course.” - A-mah-zing.

 

Meanwhile in The Hamptons, fallen media relations officer Ashley is back to organizing and hosting lavish Grayson affairs, including the wedding. Since Emily is in full ninja strike force mode, she couldn’t give a toss about what’s happening. But Ashley does. Otherwise she wouldn’t have shown up in a beautiful animal print sheer blouse and nautical styled coat. Girl needed way more screen time this season.

 

How did Emily stack up this week against her stylish co-stars? Not very well. But that was to be expected. You can’t exactly sneak up on a man and straight up murder him in heels and pantsuit. Since she has a killer figure, it all looks good on her.

 

See this grey t-shirt? Get used to it, y’all. 

Side note: anyone else chuckle at her hidden camera in the George Orwell book? We get it. You’re spying on people. Can’t we go back to disguises and Sharpies? (Editor's note: If the Red Sharpie doesn't make an appearance next week, I will be #soprofoundlysad)

Saturday
May192012

Grief - Part 2 of 2 - Pound The Alarm 

Wait a minute - this is the guy that’s striking fear into the hearts of our Revengers (!!!)? I’m sure he’s connected to some evil corporation that’s got fingers in pies on a LOST-like scale, but I can’t look at this guy without thinking of that awful Jet Li movie from 2001 where our White Haired Man played Jet Li’s BFF. Totes Hilar. Also, that blue is not discreet. That's like... Accountant Azul.

 

Though it was only visible for a moment, Nolan’s gingerbread sweater fetish was in full swing this week. You have to hand it to the Revenge wardrobe department - they consistently find the right sweater shirt combo that would make most people say, “oh hell no”. The colours are spot on matches and our love for Nolan Ross deepens a little further. 

 

OK, now that Emily and Nolan have tracked the White Haired Man, she’s slipped into her G.I. Joe garb complete with knife/boot accessory. Like ZZ Top said, she’s got legs and she knows how to use them.

 

In the background of the in-your-face dramz this week, there was an even more emotional storyline happening. True moment: I read the synopsis for the show and it said, “Jack and Emily deal with a devastating loss”. Naturally, I figured Sammy would be the dying character... but it still didn’t steel me enough against the sadness. Like, ALL the sadness. Jack doesn’t change out of this grey sweater it seems but can you blame him?

 

Yup, not suspicious at all, Emz. I’m impressed that you were conscious enough to put on make-up before you went a’stalking. What else can I say here? Black shoes, shirt, coat, pants, gloves - girl is ready for a B’n’E like it’s her job.

 

Man, Aunt Carol just has a way of showing up, huh? Nolan obviously didn’t get his sense of style from her. What is with that scarf? It looks like a peacock was crushed by a cartoon safe. Plus, she’s wearing it in that mom-ish way. You know, the way that was trendy about 7 years ago? Also, just throwing this out there - if she says she’s Emily’s mother at the end of the series, I’m out.

 

Nolan? With a ‘stache? Well, I shouldn’t complain, at least it’s a disguise. We’re back to the Revenge (!!!) we all know and love: over the top situations that can be resolved using wigs and coveralls.

 

Since Nolan did a big boy job on fooling the White Haired Man, he celebrated by calling Emily in his most inspired sweater yet. Take a gander at them colours y’all. It’s all about the pastel colours. On the left, he’s added a grey blazer with pink pocket square which is totally swoon worthy. On the right, Nolan’s rocking Casual Friday with not one, but two under-sweater shirts. Please don’t stop the music, yo. 

 

Oh yes. When I have a son and want to use him as a pawn to ruin my ex-husband’s life, I’m totally going to walk around in this little number. Elegant as always, I’m saying this only one time: Victoria Grayson is the Bette Davis for 2012 (on a primetime network television drama). She’s ruthless, sexy, hilarious, quick and she’ll step on your neck. All while looking flaw free. 

 

Quick note: since Charlotte can’t stand her family, and caught her boyfriend with a strange girl, she’s rang up her dealer. Odd that he runs his business out of a lopsided lair like old Batman villains.

 

While Charlotte is travelling down the sad path to relapse alone, Jack and Emily are huddled around poor Sammy. Real moment time: I wept over this scene. The emotions. Jack’s crying. Emily’s a wreck. Then the sad music with the puppy footage? I mean, why didn’t you just throw salt in my eyes, ABC? Heartbreaking. 

 

And just so we’re all ruining the edges of our seats for another week, they end with a shot like this.

 

COME ON. Next week is our last episode and recapped by none other than our Revenge (!!!) Editor, Ann! See you then, bitches.