Revenge: Truth

So, it's no secret that Revenge(!!!) season 2 has had its ups and downs. For every Masquerade Ball, there was a Jack's Bar plotline. For every well-deserved Red Sharpie'ing, there was yet another convoluted Initiative scheme. This finale did its best to tie up the plots we wanted gone, while introducing some new mysteries for next season AND a whole heap of WTF-ery. Such as: Aiden's arrested as a terrorist, until Nolan's arrested as a terrorist, based on evidence from Padma who is suddenly not dead (I think?); Charlotte's new BFF Regina is a benign Crazypants Tyler-level lesbian stalker, but actually it's no big deal; Conrad's secretly been a high-up member of The Initiative this whole time; Emily's been in love with Aiden except for how she's always been in love with Jack. Basically, if you like this show, you'll like this finale. If you find the show confusing, you will find this confusing. But if you luuurve fashion... this is the show for you.

Your Weekly Nolan Ashley

Nolan had some okay pieces, but let's be real. This week's style star, finally emerging from behind large pieces of furniture, is Mz Ashley Davenport. This week she works a white Megan Draper 60s mod shift like nobody's business. Respect.

Girls got legs for days, and should never wear a hemline any longer than this. I love the addition of the blazer as well — she's cute and trendy yet also totes profesh.

She is also the Master of Eyeliner. Behold:

Perfect natural look with a pop of liquid liner makes her ensemble look fresh and young with a hint of vintage — but not at all costumey.

And she gets the windmill snaps and, possibly, her first ever Outfit Of The Week with this number:

Leather AND sheer AND pyramid stud earrings at a political launch? I'm pretty sure no political staffers in the world dress like this, but who cares? The collar! The studded belt! The killer red lippie!

More Jason Wu...

My only issue is that we never get to see the H-to-T. Because, true to form, they hid Ashley's lower half behind a piece of furniture.

It looks like it's maybe a purple and blue kind of stripey A-line skirt? Not sure. And I'm super bummed we never got to see what shoes she's got on, because you know they're epic.

Over The Shoulder Hugs: 2

Perhaps I was distracted by all the dramz but I totally missed not one but TWO Over The Shoulder Hugs (OTSH) on my first viewing of this episode. Both really demonstrate that Emily's heart is not at all in her sham engagement with Daniel.

First, she rushes to see if Jack's alive and gets detained hugging her fiancee. This is a hug that says "Yeah, it's great to see you and whatever but like... have you seen Jack?"

And then later, again with Daniel, she barely even uses her arms to hug him as she's so distracted with the guy who may be Initiative-hired assassin:

At this point, it's no surprise that Aiden saw the writing on the wall. She's got way more feelings for Jack than any of her other possible boyfriends on this show.

WTF-ery of the Week

I couldn't decide. Was it Emily identifying Aiden as Takeda's assassin simply by observing his wrist wound?

Was it Daniel maybe or maybe not killing Aiden, who is a professional ninja assassin, and only slightly staining the wrist of his shirt?

If only Emily was around to provide her professional wrist-wound jedi mind tricks.

But no, I think I give the WTF-ery of the week to Conrad Secretly Being Involved With The Initiative All Along. Even Queen V is like, "THE HELL?? I killed Initiative Helen for NO REASON and you didn't think to TELL ME WHILE HELPING ME HIDE THE BODY?"

So I'm assuming for Season Three, Conrad is the new Initiative? As in, he's the new big bad and I think that's going to work out a whole lot better than having the enemy be a shady and vague bioterrorist organization? Play on, playa.

The Revenging Roomies

Not a lot, fashion-wise, from Emily. Without a gala to attend, she spent the episode dressed in her version of yoga pants and a hoodie, i.e. gorgeous buttery leather jackets, skinny jeans, and equestrian boots.

Seriously. When this is Emily's hottest look of a two-hour episode, you know something's up.

Are those boots? Flats? **dies of shock and disappointment**

Although, I have to give props to not only to her unending supply of divine leather jackets, but also to how she acted so protective with Nolan at Takeda's apartment. Seriously, in every moment of this scene, she's holding her arm out protectively.

Nolan's also keeping it real in that Burberry scarf, though the windbreaker is a little underwhelming, considering what we know he's capable of.

Like, I know he was taken by surprise with his arrest for terrorism but somehow he must have expected it. How else to explain this prisoner-stripe-esque suit?

I have no idea what's going on with his plotline right now, but this suit is making up for it. Mostly.

Declan's Farewell Tour

Much like he was the world's worst at everything he ever tried (drug smuggling, cat burglering, boyfriending), Declan also has the most anticlimactic death ever. For starters: what was he even DOING IN THE BUILDING WHEN THE BOMB WENT OFF? And also: if he was so close to death (his... aorta was burst? Something like that?) then why was he a) conscious and b) able to bid farewell to everyone over the course of what seemed like an entire afternoon?

And he didn't even properly big farewell to his brother or his babymama, he lied like he wasn't dying and then got Nolan to record his final words on his NolPhone. Any sadness I might have had about his death was balanced out by the time he took to die so... let's just call this even.

Faces of the Week

3) Queen V's face when her long-lost son Patrick arrives at her door:

2) Emily's face when she admits her true identity to Jack:

1) Jack's face when he realizes who Emily really is:

Y'all, that was a game-changer. I didn't think this show would have the balls to reveal the truth to Jack this early, but we're now set up for one hell of a season three. Conrad's now 110% evil (so evil it even freaks out Victoria!), Charlotte's totes pregs, Nolan's incarcerated, and JACK KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT EMILY. Just when I think I'm out, they suck me back in. Revenge(!!!)... I can't quit you.

Revenge: Truth

This week on Revenge(!!!): We hit the ground running this week as Conrad uses The Initiative's plan to blow up Grayson Global to kill Jack — but accidentally, the wrong Porter bro gets killed. Conrad then reveals that he's been secretly in The Initiative's inner circle and working for them all season. Following Declan's departure to the big American Apparel hoodie outlet in the sky, Jack (who everybody thinks is dead) heads out to assassinate Connie, now Governor. But Emily stops him by revealing that she's really Amanda Clarke!! In other news: Nolan gets arrested for terrorism, Padma is Maybe Not Dead and also double-crossing Nolan, Daniel maybe killed Aiden, and Victoria's secret son arrives at Grayson Manor. CLIFFHANGERS GALORE!!!

Emily's Target
First she wants to avenge Takeda's murderer, until she learns Aidan swung the death blow (literally). So her attention quickly switches back to her default DESTROY THE GRAYSONS mode, esp. after they nearly blow up Jack.

Gala of the Week
It's an Election Night party for the Connie 4 Guv campaign, though mostly everybody skips attending and those who are there are mostly in disguise (ahem, Jack's hipster glasses and jaunty cap).

Best Dressed
Ashley emerges from behind the potted plants in a gorgeous leather-and-sheer number that I can't wait to examine more thoroughly in the full recap!

Most Soapy Moment
Declan had to make the most of his final words, pulling a Sad Dying Fantine to both Jack and Charlotte before getting Nolan to videotape his final farewell. So long, drama queen.

Over-the-Shoulder Hugs: 0
#sadface 

Pick up the pieces of this two-parter by checking out the plot recap at Wetpaint Entertainment, and check back here on Wednesday when I'll be bringing you all the fashion hits and misses.

Revenge: Engagement

Was I watching Game of Thrones this week or Revenge (!!!)? I have to admit, the end of Aidan and Takeda’s swordfight left me with my hand planted firmly over my mouth. It. Was. That. Intense. In other news, Daniel and Emily are moving to Paris, Nolan is tricked by The Falcon, Victoria is lying and manipulating as per usz, Connie might just be governor of New York after all, Charlotte is pregnant, and Declan is suffering from the same increase in bus fares that we seem to be experiencing in New York City. 

Most Fashionable Inmate

Let’s begin with our newest evildoer, The Falcon. I didn't realize that women's prison uniforms resembled Marc Jacobs rompers.

Check out those round, gold-plated buttons. If this is regular prison garb, I can see why Lindsay Lohan likes the place so much...

Your Weekly Nolan

It was a quiet fashion week for Nolan, but his casual-wear brought a nice New England fall feel.

Fisherman sweater? Check. Scotch in an expensive-looking crystal glass? Double-check. He’s going to need a drink after being fooled once again by The Falcon. Unfortunately, this time Nolan’s mistake results in a city-wide blackout. Oops.  

The Beautiful Ones

Emily and Daniel are not only engaged, they're also are going to Paris. To live, not honeymoon. Ah, the lives of the rich. As you can imagine, Queen V is none too pleased to be losing her second son. 

But look how happy they look! If I were Emily, I’d smile too if I had that gorgeous suede jacket in my closet. She pairs it with a green v-neck sweater and perfectly-styled hair. She seems genuinely thrilled, no?

Hmmm….Maybe not.

A Very Long Short Engagement

I must mention the outfits being showcased at Emily and Daniel’s engagement party:

Daniel trades in his usual (boring) dark suit for a nice grey one, while Emily wears a metallic gold, strapless number.

More Manolo Blahnik...

Despite Emily’s exquisite taste in clothing, Queen V is having none of it. Why so bitter? Maybe because the best dress Victoria could find to wear to the engagement party resembles funeral garb. 

I’m confused. Is this... a one-sleeved lace dress? At least she's finally branching out from strappy body con minis.

Most WTF Moment

The swordfight between Takeda and Aidan was super random (Team Aidan all the way!!). However, in the same episode, this happened:

Taking tips from your brother’s tip jar in front of him, eh Declan? Is Declan attempting to buy a bus ticket and escape to Minnesota? Or some other place where Connie isn’t about to become governor?

The Most Badass Biker Jacket Ever

Finally, to finish up the episode, we have a winded Emily rushing in to stop Aidan from making a big mistake. She doesn’t arrive in time, but she is wearing the most badass biker jacket ever. 

Love the hair, jacket, and lipstick.  Can’t help but wonder if Ems might have been able to run faster in a non-leather material, but you can’t change the past.

Where were you when the lights went out in NYC?

And with that, Carrion has begun. Can't wait to find out what that means — I haven't been this intrigued by Revenge (!!!) since I thought Queen V was headed to her death via plane last season.

Bring on the finale(!!!)

Revenge: Engagement

This week on THE PRINCESS BRIDE Revenge(!!!): Aiden and Takeda decide to settle their differences Game of Thrones style, with a SWORDFIGHT TO THE DEATH. Sword. Effing. Fight. The entire episode is worth watching just for that scene. In less pointy news, Emily and Daniel celebrate their re-engagement, Ashley seems to still be on Team Jack (...or is she?), and The Falcon spills the beans that Victoria totally knows who her son is, and paid him off years ago to never reappear. Also of note: Charlotte is TOTES PREGS! But will she, like her mother, abandon her baby for art school? Meanwhile, the original Teen Mom, Queen V, is the latest well-dressed recruit to Jack's anti-Connie club. And just when you think there's no room for any more plot, The Falcon tricks Nolan into enacting his Carrion program -- blanketing NYC in a conveniently-timed blackout!!!

Emily's Target
Full speed ahead with her plan to take down the Graysons by marrying Daniel, just like in season 1! It'll be a quick engagement this time, though, with plans for a Paris wedding in two weeks (a.k.a. next week's finale). 

Gala of the Week
Em and Daniel's engagement party v2.0 has a less strict dress code as, rather than red-and-white, everyone seems to be wearing beige-and-black-and-grey-and-cream.

Best Dressed
Um, how can I give this to any garment other than Nolan's velvet paisley blazer embellished with like... tree branches? Nolan, marry me.

Most Soapy Moment
You'd think the swordfight (!!!) would take this honour this week, but you'd be forgetting how The Falcon was like "I will help you... in the form of a riddle!" Play on, playa.

Over-the-Shoulder Hugs: 1
Emily gives a masterclass in OTSH as she simultaneously OTSHs Connie while giving Queen V an epic stinkeye.

Did you forget the whole plot sometime around the swordfight? Head over to Wetpaint Entertainment for a  plot recap, then come back here on Wednesday for Terry's thoughts on this week's swordfighting fashionz!

Revenge: Identity

Dear Revenge(!!!) — You know we've been your fans from the beginning. However, somewhere between The Initiative, Extremely Boring Padma, and the Jack's Bar Plotline, you kinda lost your mojo. We're still hanging in for Emily's perfect waves, Nolan's fashionz and Connie and Queen V's one-liners. But until you return to season 1 level awesomeness (which we know you can!), we'll be giving you short recaps.  — xoxo, YKYLF.

This week was mainly about catching everyone up with winter in The Hamps which basically means the same old scheming — but now with outerwear! Nolan's out of jail, Emily's got her sights set on The Falcon, Conrad's political campaign is running (somehow) full steam (despite his complete evilness) and Ashley is either working with him...or not. Who knows with that girl? But the main events this week were a) Red Sharpie'ing The Falcon, b) Emily agreeing to marry Daniel again, and c) Victoria deciding to use Nolan to track down her firstborn son, Patrick.

Your Weekly Nolan

Let's begin with the strengths of this show, shall we? Nolan is indisputably Revenge's breakout star, and a large part of that is his apparel. Like these Jimmy Choo penny loafers:

He may be mourning his extremely boring dead girlfriend, but that doesn't stop him from coordinating his footwear with his shirt. 

And then when he ventured to Brooklyn to face off with The Falcon, he went full Ryan-Gosling-in-Drive:

Except with arcade gaming rather than, you know, brutally murdering people in elevators.

Worst Relationship Regression

So, Emily's engaged to Daniel, and joining him for a TV interview where they both talk about how great Conrad is. They are compared to Caroline Bessette and JFK Jr. which is, frankly, not the most optimistic comparison despite a certain physical resemblance. 

I'd go more with a blonde Kate Middleton and Prince William with a fuller head of hair.

However, you know that K-Mids would never wear a sleeveless dress with that much cleave on display, especially in a live TV interview. (Speaking of which — even Lance Armstrong went with a pre-recorded interview. Why did Connie Grayson warrant this live interview?)

More Max Mara...

 

This camel coat, however, would totally work on Kate Middleton.

Or, to be more honest, me. I need this coat like NOW. It just looks so warm and cozy while simultaneously stylish and classic. Thus far, Emily's outerwear wardrobe gets two thumbs up from me.

Best Doppelgangers

Oh, but here's where things have changed from last year. Instead of moping around his bar making moon eyes at Fauxmanda, Jack's now going full vigilante. And, randomly, Ashley's helping him out.

Apparently the writing staff are deciding on scene partners by throwing everyone's names into a hat.

I don't buy these two as partners-in-crime, but see how Ashley's influence has got Jack looking maybe 20% more dapper than usual? Ashley's poppy red jacket is obviously gorgeous and, just being in her company elevates Jack's coat somewhat. He's also had really, really good hair ever since his wedding. So...carry on.

Of course, Ashley wound up going back to Conrad like the most useless double-agent ever, but it was fun while it lasted.

Worst First Lady Attire

Seriously. Conrad's doing a live TV interview to talk about how he's just as wholesome as apple pie, and Queen V chooses to wear this.

No, seriously. Is this what you wear to support your husband's political ambitions? Think of the most stylish political spouses you can — can you see Jackie O., Carla Bruni Sarkozy, or Michelle Obama wearing something like this? RED SEE-THROUGH LACE?

While this is an insane outfit for a possible future Governor's wife, it's also 100% Victoria. You gotta respect when a woman owns her look like this. Though she could at least put her hair up or something.

Most WTF Plotline

You'd think "trading your baby for a spot in art school because you only got one plane ticket" would win this week, but no.

Remember how like a month ago, we learned that The Falcon (or "The Fa1c0n" if you prefer) was the only hacker who was ever able to outsmart Nolan, and has been working with The Initiative for years, and is basically the single person responsible for everything bad that's ever happened on this show? And how The Falcon is the only person Nolan's ever truly feared?

Yeah, Nolan and Emily managed to identify, unmask, expose and destroy her using a scheme that makes Scooby Doo look complex. For realz: what kind of world-famous international hacker is like, "Sure, I'll let you put your USB in my laptop, fellow computer hacker/mortal enemy!"

Even The Falcon is like, "...for real?" I dig the black leather situation she's got going on, tho.

Most Predictable Downward Spiral

This week, we learned that the Revenge(!!!) writing staff are just as over Charlotte and Declan's "relationship" as we all are. Charlotte's only interesting when she's going through some dramz...but that doesn't mean you have to throw her into a Marissa Cooper-style slut spiral every time you run out of plot ideas.

Oh noes! Not a feature on THE TRENDIST!!

Someone needs to tell her that Fauxmanda wasn't really her sister, which means there isn't any genetic reason for her to be skanking it up like this in such an obvious cry for attention.

Best BFF

After Emily and Nolan jointly brought down The Falcon, she let Nolan do the formal Red Sharpie'ing (via his NolPad, but whatever).

OH AND BY THE WAY. This girl was totally not in the original Grayson Global retreat pic:

We see what you did there, props crew.

Hello again, Revenge(!!!): the friendship between Nolan and Emily has become the glue of this show. It's no coincidence that forcing Nolan to spend most of this season in The World's Most Boring Bisexual Love Triangle, keeping him separated from Emily, coincided with the decline in quality of the show. Remember when they were roommates? More of that, please. — xoxo YKYLF