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Wednesday
May142014

Revenge: Execution

Y’all, there’s a lot to talk about today. Putting aside the fact that Revenge(!!!) is now a showcase for black fabrics (save for Nolan), we got a whole lotta story dumped on us. Let’s start by pouring one out for Bernie Lomax Aidan Mathis, gone too soon… or something to that effect. It’s not that I doubted the chemistry between him and Emily, or his usefulness outside of “broody henchman who consistently fails to deliver” — it was just time for him to go. Naturally, Emily took it hard, but not as hard as Victoria took that shovel to the face. Nolan’s busy scheming with Margaux’s lil’ bro, Gideon. Although, Nolan's Revenge(!!!) style is more suave and concealed, while Gideon's is more “planting dead coke whores” in his enemies' beds. The cherry on this very dark sundae is the return of David Clarke, who immediately murder stabs Connie Grayson. Farewell, Conrad — you’re loudly whispering unsolicited, dramatic monologues with the angels now.

 

Y’know, if I was going to send off the corpse of my one true love, I might break my own rules for funerals and go full-on Mourning Glamour. OK, Victoria has been to (or caused) enough funerals in the past 3 seasons, so maybe her black wardrobe is running thin. But c’mon, she looks like a sad caballero. 

The Spanish-influence on the strip of brocade is an interesting touch, but I feel like an American Idol judge from 2007 — "I need MORE."

 

Margaux, however, is on the other end of the grieving spectrum. Not exactly crushed by father’s death, but respectful enough to wear black and pair the dress with some stunning onyx earrings. 

I’m not a conservative kind of gal, but her styling feels more LBD than Funeral BD. I guess when you’re stunning with gorgeously styled hair, you get away with more risqué fashion in uptight, North American traditions. 

 

This, my friends, is the look of a woman who devoted her entire life to seeing the sad look on Conrad Grayson’s face when his world fell apart. It lasted for about 7-seconds, but by golly wasn’t it worth it? 

Kudos to you, Emily – animal print was an outrageous choice for fashion on Conrad’s judgement day. So poised and satisfied… I hope it lasts LOL. 

 

As the upper crust send the casket back to France, the Revengers toast Emily’s victory and all the murders/espionage/life-ruining/petty theft/white collar crime they’ve committed in the name of David Clarke and friendship. QUAINT! 

Jack’s transformation into a cover model for Details is still lovely to see. Great garment choices, complementary colours, coiffed hair — he deserves a TV wine toast. And yet again, Nolan is my barometer for the seasons in Montauk. Judging by his jaunty striped sweater and absolutely chic plaid pants, I’d say we’re bearing down Labor Day, again. And nothing bad ever happens on Labor Day in Montauk. *shifts eyes*

 

Friends, we have a late addition to the game. Please welcome swarthy Gideon, younger brother of Margaux, whose accent was brusquely explained by a stint in a New Hampshire boarding school. 

I’ll be honest, I’m into the long hair. I know I just praised Jack for finally taming his, but it was so unkempt. Gideon looks like he can spend a few dollars on decent product...althought his upfront, "I’m here for Revenge(!!!)" attitude had me immediately suspicious. 

 

OK, here’s where the real action starts. You thought it was when Conrad got arrested and verbally bitchslapped in court? No, it’s when Emily sends Aidan after the psychiatrist who locked her away as a child and convinced her David Clarke was a monster. Putting aside all of that for a minute — why the hell didn’t Emily track this woman down earlier? 

I mean, the Graysons orchestrated the whole life-ruining scheme, but the psychiatrist is the one who kickstarted Emily’s psychological descent into Revenging Warrior Princess. Why waste your time on Mason Treadwell (never forget) when this lady is way more integral to the plot? Maybe she blended into the background with her drab, “psychiatrist on a 90s Law & Order episode” look.

 

Basically, the psychiatrist and Victoria worked together to brainwash young Emily. Now that Emily’s hunting her down, the shrink turned to Victoria for help. With Aidan ready to drop all the truth bombs, the only natural course of action was to poison his tea so Victoria could smother him. 

I’m into her Angel of Death look. Really loving sheer cutouts right now and the skirt has an interesting pattern. Clock Aidan’s hand on the desk. See ya lates. 

 

Now, I don’t know if they planned it, but Weekend at Bernie’s was just released on DVD this month. Yes, Emily’s heartbreak is sad and moving, but can you deny how morbidly hilarious this scene was?

 

I mean, how did Victoria get his corpse to the beach house? And place him so elegantly on the sofa? Who started the fire? Is Andrew McCarthy behind any of this? I love a dramatic reveal, but damn this was campy. 

 

OK, back to the fashion — anyone else getting serious douche chills from Daniel? The suit makes him look like he asked his tailor to dress him as “the cool guy from Casino mixed with the tough guy from Boardwalk Empire.” 

All of that look sitting on leather furniture while drinking Absinthe? I bet he works out to Guns n' Roses. I bet he’d debate you on whether or not a fedora would really set off this look. I bet he prefers Sprite over 7-Up. #textbookdouchiness

 

Now it’s Emily’s turn to mourn. Lotsa sadness in this hour, huh? At first, I thought the look was pretty utilitarian for a funeral. I mean, pants and a leather jacket? Those are your Revenge(!!!) clothes, girl! I get the sunglasses to hide the puffiness of cried out eyes, but the scarf? Not the best distraction. 

But after her casual chat with her secret sis about digging up David Clarke’s grave, I understand the sartorial choices — she fixin’ to get some diggin’ done! 

 

How many showdown photos do we have of these two? I have to say, this latest is one of my favourites, mostly for Victoria’s beautiful coat. What is that, ombré snakeskin? It’s got a scaly detail I’m living for. Also, bless her for wearing heels in the grass. That ain’t no easy feat. 

While these two shade the house down, Victoria realizes Emily is digging up Amanda’s grave and before she can put anything together, a swift shovel to the face stops her in her tracks. I did not see that one coming. 

 

 

 

As all of this drama is happening/putting every recent primetime soap to shame, Conrad appears to get his assed saved yet again by the system (re: money). Disguised as a priest, he’s helped out of jail by a few guards who tell him to wait for transport. As the van pulls up, Conrad’s story finally (FINALLY) comes to an end with a roadside stabbing. 

So between his death and Victoria waking up in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, I’d say the Clarkes are making the best of the situation. 

 

Oh, did I pluralize Clarke? Why yes, indeed. Because while Emily (i.e. OG Amanda Clarke) locked Victoria away with the ol’ bait-and-switch exhuming, OG Bad Boy, David Clarke, was the one who shanked Connie! 

I’ll be honest, most of this season — even this episode — I was thinking the Revenge(!!!) was getting stale. But this? This is next level shit.  

 

Of course the only way you could end all of this nonsense is with a slow motion walk by Emily Thorne, master of Revenge(!!!). That Lanvin coat she so gracefully swings over her Michael Kors dress is beautiful. I mean, what is that coat made of, unicorn mane? Show me a few more of those and I might reject cotton altogether.

If you're going to end a season on a cliffhanger, you might as well do it with a few deaths, a resurrection, and a masterfully planned confinement to hospital.

 

Alright, Revenge(!!!) — the ball's in your court for next season. And judging by the way things are going, there's a good chance that ball is a cleverly disguised bomb and/or security camera. See you in the fall, Revengers!!

Monday
May122014

Revenge: Execution

This week on GAME OF THRONES, HAMPS STYLE: So much death. So. Much. Death. Things kick off with Victoria killing Aidan with her bare hands. Like, I don't think Emily's ever gotten her hands that dirty. Then, Margaux's brother Gideon takes Daniel out for drinks, which winds up with Dan in bed with a dead hooker. And THEN Charlotte has a PTSD flashback and realizes that Jack helped kidnap her, so now he's off to the police station. But all of that pales in comparison to the next two things: 1) David Clarke — WHO IS TOTALLY NOT DEAD — totally murders Conrad. Repeat: DAVID CLARKE IS TOTALLY NOT DEAD and is apparently now on the show in the manner of Ali on PLL. And THEN 2) Queen V wakes up in the asylum — having been checked in by Emily for her "delusions" that Emily is Amanda Clarke. 

 

Emily's Target
Emily has like ten seconds to celebrate the victory of her father's conviction being overturned before Aidan's dead, and she turns all of her rage toward Victoria. Now technically, Conrad's the one who shoved Pascal into the helicopter, but I guess I can see why V blames Ems for it.

Gala of the Week
N/A. Too much drama to have room for black tie events. 

Best Dressed
Emily's black leather jacket with ruffle was cute (in that ninja sort of way) but I think I liked Queen V's graveyard coat the best. Stealth, in the manner of Carmen Santiago.

Most Soapy Moment:
Are you kidding me? How can I pick just one? I will declare a tie between David Clarke's back-from-the-dead murder of Conrad and Queen V's American Horror Story style freakout in the asylum...followed by Emily's badass strut down the hall. 

 

Check back on Wednesday for Anthony's take on this, possibly most dramatic episode of Revenge to date. REVENGE(!!!) 

Wednesday
May072014

Revenge: Impetus

After nearly three full seasons of scheming, ninja-ing, and amazing outfits, Emily finally achieves 50% of her stated goal as Conrad gets the Red Sharpie* treatment. (*Sharpie not included). Her plan was of the usual convoluted nature: Kidnapping Char to brainwash her against her father, trusting she'd immediately go confront Conrad, and that he'd confess to all of his crimes just in time for the whole thing to air on TV. As you do. The only possible flaws in her plan come in the form of Jack's judgeypants, Daniel's intent to expose her Pascal's killer, and Victoria's amateur CSI routine to prove Emily's really Amanda. And then PLOT TWIST! Those letters Charvatar was receiving from her father may have really been from her father. Is David Clarke alive??

 

Margaux is the new Ashley

Seriously, show? We only get ONE OUTFIT FOR MARGAUX this week? At least it's a good one. I mean, I think it's a good one? She's so fab it's hard to tell. But I think the neckline combined with the lightly structured shoulders is a win. I think? 

 

Here's the back: 

(Hi, Tyler Jacob Moore, formerly of GCB!)

 

OK, the sleeves are maybe a little weird. But her earrings are cute, her makeup is flaw-free, and her hair is kind of...like how Nolan's is, these days?

 

Later on, she throws on a random oversized coat jsut to make herself look even more gorge than usual. I was going to say it was Daniel's coat, but he's wearing his coat. So she just...has a really big men's coat ready at all times to throw on like a cloak? 

Of course she does. She's like a French superhero in this. La Femme Fashion.

 

Your Weekly Nolan

While Mr. Ross brought his best hacking and BFF skills to the plate, his clothes were far less OTT than usual. Like, he was dressed entirely in black and gray this week. And I don't know what to think of these new collars.

First: Turtleneck? Just checked my notes and I have no idea what threat level this signifies.

And it's also got 3/4 sleeves. You guys, is he shopping at the same place as Victoria? Will he start wearing bandage dresses next?

 

Anywhoo, the only other article of clothing we see him wear is this gray wool jacket: 

I mean, it's cute in that sort of 1950s Gregory Peck sort of way, but that's not the Nolan I thought I knew.

 

Annnnd now that's more like it. Same Oliver Spencer coat, differently buttoned, turns an otherwise standard collar into a Mandarin collar. 

But you see what I mean, his hair and Margaux's hair have the exact same cut? Maybe they use the same hair salon.

 

In Case You Forgot: Grayson Men Are THE WORST. THE WOOOORST.

So on the one hand we've got Daniel, owner of the most slap-inducing smirk on TV:

UGH. How could Emily have ever...UGH.

 

His coat is nice, and yet the odious horribleness of his personality makes me still want to slap him. Still, that's an underrated length of men's coat.

HATE.

 

And then we've got Con, Non-Father of the Year (i.e. screaming at his daughter that she's useless and he can destroy her anytime).

 

Dude doesn't even deserve a Red Sharpie. Emily gives him the Go Straight To Jail, Do Not Pass Go treatment. And Connie suddenly sees Emily in all of her glorious revenging angel glory.

I think he sort of admires her for everything she's done. And furthermore, I think he's going to help her bring down V. Maybe?

 

Queen V Does Mourning

Apparently, the death of Victoria's Insta-True-Amour, Pascal, was mainly an excuse to trot out her finest black outfits. First up, this black trench (which I think we've seen before) worn while gazing mournfully out at the sea with her totally evil son.

Not pictured: she's wearing pants (!) that are rolled up at the ankles (!!) so she can wander around barefoot in the sand (!!!). That's how you know something's wrong.

 

Next, she throws on perhaps my favourite black leather jacket I've ever seen, while pulling out Emily-esque ninja moves to steal DNA from L'il Carl. Seriously, check this black leather action: pockets and zippers and perfectly tailored and the cutest little peplum in the back. #WANT

But seriously, she somehow is the reason the toddler was crying on the ground, right? You know she'd do it.

 

She spends the rest of the episode in this 3/4 sleeve black turtleneck dress. She looks age-appropriate, for the first time in forever, and also like she's able to properly inhale.

Added bonus: mourning has done wonders for her hair. Those loose waves are Emily-adjacent.

 

And then? Just in time for some impromptu/gothic piano playing, she throws on this velvet shoulder-padded Dynasty-style number to smirk at Con as he's hauled off to jail. 

Aw, she's nearly smiling. Cute.

 

But then she pulls out the best accessory of them all, the #I WILL DESTROY YOU look. 

I'm legit scared for Emily right now.

 

The Lady of the Hour

Raise a glass of champers for Emily, the woman who FINALLY HAD A PLAN THAT TOTALLY WORKED!!! Ems started out the hour in her finest PLL #A hoodie:

(But you know Emily's not A. Those bitches would be long dead by now if she were.)

 

She dons normal person drag to head outside. For Ems, that means this AMAZE camel coat on top of her ninja blacks, along with a printed scarf and sunnies. Love the look on her face, all, "You need to take moi to the police station?"

Sidenote: love how she's belted this coat. I WANT EVERY PART OF THIS OUTFIT.

Here's the H-to-T (you knew it involved skinnies and killer heels, right?)

And I can't not show you her classic black handbag. Stylish AND convenient for secretly messaging Nolan to change your fingerprint records.

 

What does your face look like when you get 50% of all you've wanted for the past three seasons? Pretty much like this:

Somehow, that little tear in her eye is like the perfect accessory.

 

How to celebrate this victory? Just a little something we like to call: NOM!

 

And things are good, right? All systems go? Except for the part where her father MIGHT BE TOTALLY ALIVE. Because cufflinks.

Or something?

 

Who Faux-Kidnapped It Better?

OK, when we started this site, I don't think anyone imagined that in a single week, we'd be recapping not only two faux-kidnappings, but also...well, you'll see in a minute.

Because Charvatar wasn't the first lady to be fake-kidnapped on TV this week. Revenge vs Reign: who fake-napped it better? Round one: blindfolds:

I'ma give this one to Emily's henchmen. Charvatar's blindfold looks a lot cleaner and less scratchy than Cathy's.

 

And round two... earrings on severed ears!

Notably, both shows combined fake-kidnappings with fake-ear-amputation. OK, these are apparently both legit ears, but neither belongs to the kidnap victims. Guys, that was a REALLY WEIRD COINCIDENCE right down to both ears wearing EARRINGS. Though I'll give the overall ear to Revenge, for the additional blood, which makes it all more convincing.

 

Seriously, if next week's Revenge finale features Ashley lurking around corridors wearing a burlap sack, I will declare official shenanigans and/or the Revenge and Reign writers hang out all together in what may be the most fun staffroom ever.

Monday
May052014

Revenge: Impetus

This week on A SHOW ACTUALLY WORTHY OF THE NAME REVENGE(!!!): So we quickly learn (like, pre-credits) that Team Emily's behind Charlotte's kidnapping and their intent is to convince her that her parents are the worst. And? They totally achieve that, plus more. Meanwhile, Daniel's at peak douchebaggery, setting his sights on taking down Emily for Pascal's death  which she was guilty of, of course, but never mind that. Victoria continues to rub two brain cells together as she uses L'il Carl's DNA to verify the Clarkeness of Fauxmanda. But the main thing is that Emily finally gets revenge on Conrad, as he shows the world via satellite just how evil he really is. One Grayson down, one (or more) to go!

 

Emily's Target
Emily's going full throttle against Connie and Vic, finally achieving sweet revenge(!!!) on the #1 target on her hit list. REVENGE(!!!) **shaking fists at the sky in triumph**

Gala of the Week
No time for galas. This week's big event was the Grayson Fam press conference.

Best Dressed
Everyone's slinking around in black turtlenecks most of the time, although the trench and sunnies Emily wore while being dragged off by the police were classically gorgeous.

Most Soapy Moment:
Although Vic and Con were chewing up scenery and spitting it out during their weekly rasp-fighting scene, the Daytime Emmy goes to Conrad for whipping around from concerned father checking on his daughter's ears, to raging villain ripping her a new one, to being sent to jail after finally exposing his true colors to the world. Slow clap, sir.

 

Come back again on Wednesday for Ann's thoughts on this week's beyond dramatics and edgy fashionz.

Wednesday
Apr302014

Revenge: Revolution

So... not sure what's going on with the title of this episode. This week didn't bring a revolution so much as illustrate that you don't need a red Sharpie when you've got paranoid Graysons around. Pascal's run-in with a helicopter rotor leaves both Victoria and Margaux with many sads and probably some serious dry cleaning bills. Across the beach, Emily & Co. continue to come up with half assed plans that fall through (and leave Frenchmen dead). In a further attempt to give Charvatar and Jack some plot action, we're lead to believe that David Clarke is maybe totally not dead and then Char gets kidnapped. Margaux and Daniel continue to talk about things no one care about (Voulez, Interpol, MyClone, blah blah) and get Pascal to sign the company over before he's killed. That won't look suspicious at all. And I bet there's a handsome French brother named Gideon planning to swoop in to accuse someone of something and get in Emily's way for a bit. 

 

This week marks the return of two of Vicky's greatest loves — the plotting balcony and fussy long-sleeved negligees. As per usz, she's obsessively staring across the beach at Emily's casa. 

I thought Victoria's A-ha moment last week w/r/t Emily's motives would mean that Vic would spend all week obsessing over re-revenging her. But girl's got other things on her mind, like...

 

Getting engaged! To a dude who isn't Connie! And for the first time in ages, we see a flicker of genuine human emotion on her face. Look how happy she is! 

You know a happy person on this show = someone's about to die. Right? Because it happens every time.

 

 

 

So much happiness this week in the Grayson compound. Just look how relaxed Still Evil Daniel is in a t-shirt and a fantastic grey jacket with some hints of military detailing. It's almost enough to distract from that fact that he and Margaux are still in MyClone plotline hell. Like, just get a Facebook page or a tumblr already if you need to be on the social media so bad. 

 

Mademoiselle Margaux is a vision in black and white. That's not just a regular bow applique on this Ted Baker dress — it's made of wee little pompoms that just happen to also coordinate with her bracelet.

It's a shame the show didn't give us a good shot of her shoes. Just trust me when I say they were worthy of the long lost plotless Ashley from seasons past. 

 

Margs continued to kill it this week with some magnificent colour blocking at the office. And I will never not love her très Parisian blue umbrellas painting.

She really knows how to make it look effortless. I bet she wear a scarf so well and so naturally, that it's like it's just another appendage. I'm not jealous, just appreciative.

 

So, this week in the Perils of Charvatar, the only teen in the Hamptons receives creepy letters that make it seem like her bio-Dad is still alive. I almost did a standing ovation for her outfit during that weird attempt at a plot twist because I thought she was chilling at home like a modern day Lady Edith in a black and white sheath with a nude belt. 

Except it's not a belt. It's actually nude. Yes, girl's wearing a crop top and matching pencil skirt which is really too bad. As a dress + belt this would have been a fetch look. Snaps for the black trench, the perfect "let's go see if my birth father who was labeled a terrorist and shanked in prison is still alive" sort of outfit. 

 

Of course, V talks her daughter out of this manhunt (understandably: this show has enough going on. It doesn't need yet another totally not dead person). The Queen brings a bit of last week's softness to her wardrobe with this red number. 

A hint of her usual mummified steez gets taken down a notch with the gather at the waist and the flare at the bottom. Is the fit of her dresses an indicator of her happiness level? Happy Vic = loose fitting/Sad Vic = sausage casing? Is the ultimate end of that spectrum a truly happy Victoria clad in sweats and flip-flops? Perish the thought.

 

In any case, she's not super-happy for too long as her evil ex keeps popping by to visit (and then later, to kill her fiancé). I'm really quite impressed with Conrad's jacket, which is why I'm offering up such a poor screenshot. The pattern in the jacket is so subtle, it can only be seen in direct sunlight. 

I don't know what kind of jacket it is, but it's got to be expensive to have such a stealthy pattern.

 

Across the beach at the Failed Revenge Plan HQ, Emily goes for soft neutrals in layered tanks, while Nolan continues to wear patterns like nobody's business. 

Shiny houndstooth pants for your average afternoon of plotting? Why okay. It's not like those are the craziest pattern he'll wear all episode. Nope. We'll save that for later.  

 

Who else was pumped to see Emily pull out an alias this week? Remember when she used to do this on the reg? Loving her fake undercover detective chic as she plays Pascal like a handsome French violin.

I'm with YKYLF staffer Anthony on the seasons out there in the Hamptons. I have no idea when this is taking place or if another soap opera has lent the town their weather machine, because there is no weather in the world where you can wear a light tank and a turtleneck and blazer on the same day.

 

Perhaps this is why Pascal gives her a look that can only be described as "look how many fucks I give, ma chérie."

Seriously, Pascal has no more fucks to give. Zero.

Additionally, I question this messy hair situation. Not sure if this is his attempt to show off a rogueish, French personality or if he just really dug the Just Kidnapped look after Emily released him. Or maybe I've just gotten used to the helmet heads of Daniel and Conrad and assume it's the norm in the Hamptons (Nolan excluded. His bangs by the way are amazing these days.)

 

Emily continues to wear sweaters for the rest of the day because it may actually be that unseasonably cool in Montauk. Nothing exciting, but the colour is lovely on her. 

And I would still trade my eyeteeth for her perfect curls.

 

Up in the Berkshires, home of Possibly Not Totally Dead David Clarke, it's totally April 25 weather — not too hot, not too cold, a light jacket is all you need. This is where we find Jack and Charvatar playing detective to solve the mystery of the creepy letters. Again with the lovely trench and black and white patterns, seen on a sassy Sandro top. Very practical, yet classy for a young lady digging through a stranger's things. 

 

But while it seems like it's yet another David Clarke enthusiast, Jack and his LL Bean style hunting jacket are beginning to think the plot thickens. 

God. He's so Ned Nickerson about everything. He totally needs Emily -- not Char -- to be his Nancy Drew. He's got the clue, but doesn't actually have a clue about what to do with the damn thing...

... which is why he's staring at a ring while Creepy Cabin Man is lurking outside the bar and probably kidnapping Charvatar. 

Although I'm sort of excited to see someone giving menancing looks through the blinds again. It means more action, less chit chat about revengendas. 

 

At the party for the thing, Emily is showcasing the fact that she has legs for days. Gurl, where you been hiding those stems the last three seasons??

I mean, come on. That's just not fair that she gets all the legs. She is, however, totally and 100% working that little beaded Needle & Thread dress with those kiler heels (also, props to whoever directed her to take those off for the dash up the stairs to the rooftop. Because I don't care how good you are in heels, no one can sprint in those bad boys).

 

All that said, she should have coordinated better with her BFF. That is, she should have toned down the pattern a little since Nolan and Javier clearly had plans for a Battle of the Blazer at this party. Nolan is somehow wearing a full white suit with a paint splatter pattern and working it. He's clearly a magical being, like a llamacorn or something. 

Javier? Well played, young Jedi, but your pattern doesn't have the force of the master of patterns (or the height. Is Javier three apples high? Or are Nolan and Emily that tall?). 

 

V's mistrust of Pascal's intentions towards her and Homeland Security is probably why she pulled out the con-iest of body cons for the evening.

It's a wonder she can take a full breath in that thing. I think there are ye olde corsets out there that are less constricting than that dress. 

 

On stage, for her brief, shining moment to introduce the thing (which, please. People are suspicious about sharing photos on Facebook. Do you really think they're going to be cool with an app that so obviously mines all their data?), Margaux goes for an edgy, boobalicious Herve Leger dress that really works with the slick pixie.

I have no idea how she is keeping her neck up with a piece of jewelry that big around it. It's not that I don't love an oversized chain, I just think there are limits to how ridiculously large you need to go. But I'll give her a pass since I'm so on board with the dress and hair.

 

I'm not giving Daniel a pass for looking so slick for the party, however. 

I mean, he's like a mandarin collar away from being a villain in a movie starring Ethan Hawke or Keanu Reeves from the late 90s. What with last's weeks' 80s teen movie villain outfit, I feel like the costume department isn't quite sure what kind of villain Daniel is supposed to be. Actually, I'm not sure the writer's room knows either. Maybe season four will figure that out. 

 

Up on the rooftop, things did not go well for anyone's plans. Or for Conrad's drycleaning bill.

How do you explain that stain to the cleaner? Or do you just throw the baby out with the bloody bathwater and get yourself a new Hugo Boss suit for your next murder. Boyfriend needs to take notes from American Psycho on how to keep your suit clean during a murder. 

 

And then Madeline Stowe and Henry Czerny get what might be the soapiest moments of their careers.

Yes, V's screaming over the body of what I can only assume is her now headless fiancé while Connie's in the background covered in blood, holding an expensive hankerchief to clean his face off with. I guess that's how they make sure Pascal doesn't come back to life (because we all know a fall of the roof isn't enough on this show).  

 

And CEO Margaux learns that the answer to everything in life at the Graysons — plots, schemes, breakups, engagements, deaths, helicopter "accidents" — is an expensive glass of brandy at the end of the day. 

Poor girl. Even in her tears and a messy pixie cut (seriously, that hair is amazing), she can't make me care about Voulez or Pascal.

 

Au revoir, Pascal! Le Sharpie Rouge est un bitch, even if Emily wasn't planning on using it on you just yet.