Reckoning - Part 1 of 3 - Fifty Shades of Grayson

OH MY DRAMZ, y'all. So much happened this week, I was like, "OMG What a great episode!" and then I looked at the clock and saw I was only 20 minutes in. They packed like a season's worth of BANANACAKES into this thing.

What other show includes unexpected pregnancies, ninja fights, drug overdoses, plane explosions AND surprise back-from-the-dead mothers? NO OTHER SHOW! This is the show that TV was invented for, basically. 

Let's begin with a quick game of When Did Daniel Turn Into Conrad?

Round 1: Suit Up!

Conrad's sitting here like a boss in his gigantic, Wall Street 3: Money Still Ain't Sleeping office. The paisley tie is slightly more interesting than his usual PLAIN RED TIE or PLAIN BLUE TIE, but still pretty bland.

Daniel's modelling one of his custom-made Herve Leger bandage suits (probably ordered by Queen V, who buys this shizz in bulk). He looks much younger and hipper than Conrad, yet still with that steely-eyed Grayson business flair.

PS - did we know Daniel had this finger tattoo?

One time, he was frolicking on the beach with Emily and revealed a side-rib tattoo. Now this finger tattoo? Not very Daniel Grayson, but then again, we didn't see him during his Serena van der Woodsen-esque lost years of alcoholism/hit-and-running. They could be a reminder of days gone by, such as, when he was dating Miley Cyrus?

Round 2: Casualwear

We all know that Conrad's version of casualwear is... a suit and tie. I believe in the flashback episode, we saw him in a freshly-ironed polo shirt, but otherwise, he's all starchy collars and well-tailored suits. His long camel coat here is, therefore, an excellent touch:

It doesn't hurt that Lydia's smoldering up the background in that killer red ensemble. But we'll get to her in part 2.

Daniel, wallowing in his post-Emily-break-up phase, suddenly appears to be wearing one of Rufus Humphrey's cast-off shawl-neck sweaters:

I mean, with that body and that face, he could show up in one of Dorota's maid outfits and look dressed to kill, but seriously? You thought you could hang onto Emily dressing like this? That sweater looks neither cozy nor particularly warm, and too tight for a sweater. Maybe it's an Herve Leger bandage sweater, borrowed from Queen V?

Round 3: Sad Hugs

Conrad embraces Lydia with a steely glint in his eye not once, but twice:

 This is how you do a Revenge sad hug (crossed with a bit of The Godfather style Judas kiss).

Daniel's still an amateur at this move:

You're not supposed to look like a puppy ready to run after a ball, Daniel. You're supposed to look sad-yet-evil. Don't worry, Emily can show you how to -- oh, wait, she totally Red Sharpie'd your heart. You jerk.

Round 4: Whisky 

Both Grayson men drink whisky while thinking sad thoughts about their lost loves - Conrad about the two women who he TOTALLY JUST GOT BLOWN UP, Daniel about his fiance who left him after destroying his family.

 Yeah, I'm noticing a definite family resemblance here.

In much the same manner, Charlotte's doing her best Mini-Queen-V (Princess C?) routine this week, first rocking some serious outerwear:

Love the fit-and-flare on that jacket. I mean, she's still not up to Blair/Serena levels of uniform deconstruction, but it's a start.

Her school uniform really doesn't give her much to work with but she could have made a little effort to customize it. I mean, imagine this outfit with fishnets, or bright red tights, or thigh highs or a headband or ANYTHING.

She's got the Queen V smirk down pat. This is the exact same face V made when she banished Lydia from the Hamptons back in the Pilot.

But then, unlike her mother, Charlotte begins to regret her scheming. In a touching mother/daughter moment, she asks V if she ever felt better after destroying someone's life. "Yes," Victoria said, without pausing. Mother of the year, everybody!

I do like the bright salmon colour of this hoodie. Against all odds, it goes really well with Char's colouring, and complements her lipgloss:

PS - her facial expression is so very Little Women here, like, "Oh, Marmee, when shall Papa return from the war!" I think Charlotte thinks she's tragic Beth, but she's so Amy. Nobody forced you to wreck that ho's life, Char.

She keeps with the same colour scheme later on, adding a very Queen V silk dressing gown to her salmon-coloured nightie for her suicide attempt:

Is it wrong that, looking at this picture, I'm thinking how much I like the nightie? It's sad that Char OD'd and all, but that's a really cute nightie. And come on, like she's going to actually die. We've got enough Grayson maybe-death already - oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Oh, Victoria had a great episode this week. I mean, yes, she may have gotten blown up on the plane, but before that? It was like one scenery-chewing scene after another. Check it:

She starts out in (what else) a vacuum-sealed black dress.

It was hard to tell, but it had some large lace cutouts along each side. The perfect thing to wear when you're being like, "Why, yes, Conrad, I am going to sell you out to the Feds! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?"

This is the same dress she was wearing when she was all, "Daniel, did you just say Conrad must have had a reason for murdering David Clarke?" and...

OH YES, KITTENS. She smacked the shizz out of Daniel. (In other news: do we know why Daniel went from being a reluctant Grayson to full-on Connie clone? Was it doing hard time in jail? Because like, three episodes ago, he would never have said that to his Mom)

BUT I DIGRESS!

So, next, Victoria's swanning around at her amazingly well-organized vanity (in what looks to be some sort of... closet/room? Is this like the grown-up version of TLG's Sutton's Magic Closet?).

Luurve this white-and-red cardigan.

A H-to-T shot shows that, true to form, she's wearing a sausage casing-esque red dress.

What is with her commitment to tea-length skirts? I'd love to see her in something above the knee once in awhile... you know, if she's... not dead, or whatever.

Anyway, this was from the scene where she was like, "Oh FYI Lydia? Conrad totally murdered David Clarke. You knew that, right?" You guys, Lyds and V better not be dead because it's way too much fun watching V play with Lydia like a cat with a mouse. "Dance, puppet, dance!"

And now, to answer that FAQ: What to wear when flying off to testify against your husband? Victoria answers: white tea-length bandage dress!

We at YKYLF may snark on Victoria's addiction to bandage dresses, but with assets like those, who can blame her?

The white colour combines a kind of innocent thing with a kind of ice-queen thing, and her layered necklaces play to both sides of this look:

Love the cap sleeves, too. It makes this one more age-appropriate than some of her strappier numbers from earlier in the season.

Conrad tries to stop her from going to Washington (to save himself? Or because he knows she's going to get blown up?) and Victoria let's him have it! She's all:

And then she's like:

 

And then she heads off to the airport for the SLOWEST BOARDING OF ALL TIME. As I noted in the mini recap, if you arrive at the airport and Florence & The Machine is blasting and everybody's moving in slo-mo... rethink your flight plans. Seriously. Catch the next flight.

Love Victoria's innocent/ice-queen white coat and gloves, here. That coat is stunning.

I also love the wind machine that blows as she exits her limo. Who does she think she is, Beyonce?

 

But wait, who's that airplane mechanic? Why are they showing him so much?

Why is he taking off his hat -- WHITE HAIRED MAN!!! WHITE HAIRED AIRPLANE MECHANIC!!!

To be continued...

Reckoning - Part 2 of 3 - Collateral Damage

So, who is this White Haired Man, a.k.a. WHM? We know that a) he's very scary, b) he killed Emily's father, and c) is part of some sort of vast conspiracy.

Americon Industries? Golf claps for the subtlety, writers.

Whoever he is, one thing we know about WHM is that he's SUPER KICK-ASS. His outfit is pretty nondescript, which is sort of the point, no? He doesn't want anyone to remember seeing him, what with the assassinations, etc.

When people ask if he had a distinguishing feature, they won't have anything to say! He just blends right into the background... apart from the WHITE HAIR. Which is why he sometimes wears a hat - for realsies, I didn't recognize him in his Airport Worker Guy outfit until he dramatically removed his hat.

He's the first opponent truly worthy of going up against Emily (other than Revenge[!!!] Sensei, obvs). It takes him 0.00005 seconds to notice that she's bugged the hell out of Grayson Industries.

Who watches the watcher? WHM!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I did a little googling of the guy who plays WHM and learned two extremely interesting things. 1) He is a yoga instructor, which is terrifying and exciting, because I like to think he secretly teaches assassin moves in his yoga class! and 2) he used to perform in something called Satan's Wild Animal Circus of Agony. I couldn't not tell you guys this info, because, OBVIOUSLY.]

Anywhoodle, it turns out that WHM killed David Clarke, kidnapped Nolan AND, worst of all, HE TOTALLY STOLE THE RED SHARPIE OF DOOM!!

He's undoubtedly using his yoga/circus of agony skillz on Nolan in this image:

Poor Nolan, FOR SERIOUS. How many times has he been attacked/ stabbed/ shot/ kidnapped/ tortured so far this season? I hope he gets some serious counselling for PTSD over the summer hiatus.

You know that old advice, to always wear good underwear in case you get hit by a car, or whatever? Nolan's interpretation of this seems to be to always wear clown socks, because you never know:

Seriously. Check out his Wicked Witch of the East socks and clown shoes. I bet that's how he kept his spirits up during captivity, just looking down at his feet would cheer him up.

Proof that he's Emily's BFF and best soldier? After she frees him, he only stops to throw on a coat before heading out to do her bidding.

OK, it's a jaunty nautical peacoat, and it looks like he also put on a few checkered, collared shirts. But proof he went directly from WHM's prison to here? Same shoes.

EPIC SHOES.

These shoes caused YKYLF staffer L-A to gasp aloud at her TV, "Sweet shoes, Nolan!" And, I would like to mention, he's still wearing the candycane socks. Love. Him.

Post-kidnapping, he's back to his usual steez in these RED PANTS:

Those pants were made to STRUT, and that's just what's he's'a'gonna do.

The rest of this ensemble includes, but is not limited to, a navy blazer with white piping; argyle sweater vest, blue patterned shirt (collar down- no time for shenanigans), aaaand red pocket square.

Is he matching the red accents to the red welts on his face? I wouldn't put it past him. This man is the definition of a nattily dressed gentleman.

 

Also looking 'licious this week was the always flawless Lydia. You saw her prowling around with Conrad in part 1 of this recap. Here's the sexy back of that red show-stopper:

Know how I know she's perf for Connie? Like him, her definition of casualwear is identical to that of formalwear. Have we ever seen her in anything less than a cocktail dress? Even when she was convalescing from that whole falling-on-a-taxi thing, she was always dressed to the nines.

She almost totally takes the trophy for best-dressed in this BEYOND AMAZATRONS emerald green drapey number: 

The neckline? The latticework belt? I die. I DIE.

Here's the back:

Full-length view:

More Salvatore Ferragamo...

And here she is, giving a perfect demonstration of the trademark Revenge (!!!) sad/mad over-the-shoulder hug:

RIP, Lyds. Much as I love her (and her fashion!), I really can't see that she'll be coming back for Season 2. She used up most of her nine lives surviving falling out of that window (unscathed, naturally). I mean, OK, the news reporter only said that "the flight manifest included Victoria Grayson," which means they didn't find any bodies yet.

But if one fancy lady is coming back from the dead, my money's on Queen V, not Princess L.

 

Speaking of Best Frenemies, remember when Emily and Ashley used to not hate each other? When did that friendship break down? Was it just because they both finally realized they were both fake and didn't actually care about anything other than forwarding their own Revengendas (Ashley's - to become rich; Emily's - to avenge her father)?

In any case, Ashley gets an ultra-rare allllmost full body shot in this episode. Juuuust enough screentime to make me want her olive green dress SO BAD:

Complicating our issues with seeing her entire outfit is how Ashley tends to wear her hair down, covering most of the front of her dresses. This one has a really neat, geometrical neckline, but you'd never know because her gorgeous hair is covering it up.

Still, this dress + what looks like a skinny leopard print belt? KILLING IT.

Ash goes to visit Daniel later on, and gets the usual "blink and you'll miss it" screentime. However, this plum colour looks fabulous on her, and I'm intrigued by the beaded detailing on her quilted jacket:

She then joins Daniel for an evil sip of Grayson whisky. This scene was very mysterious to me - it could be seen as the two of them flirting towards an eventual hook-up OR (my theory) Ash is secretly Conrad's love child! And she's Daniel's half-sister!

Seriously, could anyone but a Grayson sip whisky in this sort of evil manner?

Oh, and her turquoise manicure? KILLING. IT.

Emily's other fake BFF makes a surprise appearance back in town. In true soap operatical fashion, Fake!Amanda is obviously pregs.

Love this shot. Jack's expression is totally, "OMFG What have I done??" while Fake!Amanda's all "JACK PORTER, YOU *ARE* THE FATHER!"

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

But seriously, does anybody really think that this show - of all shows - would make the plotline as simple as Fake!Amanda being knocked up with her BF's baby? This is a woman who spent the past 6 months with REVENGE (!!!) SENSEI. She's either pregnant with Sensei's Baby, or some other random, or just a pillow (and Jack's too trusting to ever check under her fug, tie-dye tee to make sure).

Although, it will be interesting to see how Fake!Amanda's planning to dress now that it's winter and she's pregnant. Don't tell me she'll be running around in cutoffs and Jack's old shirts anymore BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THAT AGAIN.

Oh, and Jack had some sort of plotline I don't really remember, about giving back a million-dollar check to Daniel. I have no memory of Daniel giving Jack this check. Was it to get him to stay away from Emily? No idea.

Jack, like every other person on this show, dresses in a navy peacoat. Whoever runs the Hamptons Peacoat Shoppe is making out like a bandit this winter, for reals.

However, in the battle of Emily's kind-of BFs and their winterwear, Jack's cozy blue sweater is way better than Daniel's oatmeal shawl-collar. 

Why? Because Jack understands sweaters aren't supposed to be worn skin-tight. Also, Emily was running around this episode in a variety of loose-fitting sweaters so he MATCHES HER which means they're SOULMATES and I have no idea when I turned into such a Jack/Emily 'shipper, but apparently I am now.

And not just because Nolan's the President of the JEm fanclub.

Another couple ripped apart by manipulations is Eric Not Der Woodsen and Vanessa Notbrams here.

Again with the boring, unaccessorized uniforms. I know you're busy studying or whatever, but everybody's got time for style. STEP IT UP, TEENS.

Wearing another one of Nolan's hand-me-down bomber jackets doesn't count as stepping it up, Declan.

But nice try, marblemouth.

Reckoning - Part 3 of 3 - O Em F G

And now, for the star of tonight's show, Emily "Amanda Clarke" Thorne.

Seriously, girlfriend was in like, every scene. Not since Aria wore half leopard/half black leggings and a spiked shoulder dress have I given one character their own recap. But unlike Aria, Emily spent the episode dressed IMPECCABLY.

She started off with this GORGEOTRONS cable-knit fisherman's sweater. As both a nautical clothing junkie AND a lapsed knitter, I want this sweater more than any other article of clothing worn all episode.

To visit Nolan, she keeps this sweater but tosses on a pair of sunnies and the episode's cutest peacoat (and, as you've seen, there was quite a bit of competition in the Peacoat Division):

This pic makes me think of David Caruso on CSI: Miami, like Em's about to whip off the shades and be like, "I will catch the man who did this to you, Nolan." (SPOILER: she totally does.) (Not in those exact words)

Here's the full ensemble, which includes perfectly tailored dark wash skinnies and fierce stiletto knee-high boots.

More Maria Cristina...

Once she finds out that WHM's got Nolan, she changes into more practical attire and hits the road, David Caruso Style:

"I swear to God, Nolan," ::whips off sunglasses:: "I will find the man who did this to you and bring him to justice." 

I love how she and WHM are super polite to one another, like, "Please, take this chloroform and knock yourself out." "I would be glad to."

I got this shot of the chloroform bottle because it's the only time we can see a bit of detail on her hooded sweater. It's cozy blue wool - similar to Jack's sweater (SOULMATES!)

While passed out, she has a memory from her childhood, which means we get to hang out with L'il Amanda for a bit.

So cute! I esp. like how they've curled her hair in the same way that modern-day Emily's hair curls. How could Jack possibly think that Fake!Amanda, with her bushy mane, could be the grown-up version of this sweet girl with the gentle waves? JACK & EMILY 4-EVA!

Ahem. So, as we all know, Emily is always prepared for every situation. Handcuffed in WHM's lair? No worries, she's got a lockpick hidden in the drawstring of her hooded sweater, and she'll just pull it out with her mouth and free herself (and Nolan).

As you do.

Ems has time for a quick Revenge over-the-shoulder hug with Nolan before getting down to business.

See how she's actually almost smiling here? Totally unlike the steely face she gets when she's hugging Daniel, or anyone else. She may pretend to be tough as nails, but Nolan is her for-reals BFF.

So, then she hangs out, waiting for WHM to return. Why?

She has something to axe him.

HAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. I came up with that joke as soon as I saw her sitting there with the GIGANTIC AXE. Seriously, that is the axe equivalent of Thor's hammer. And I have no doubt that Emily knows how to handle it.

On a fashion note, see how she's changed into her ninja gear? The v-neck long-sleeve tee shows that even ninjas have style, while she's got practical flat boots and pants with lots of stretch. Trust me, these will come in handy RIGHT AWAY!

WHM comes back and they have a fairly epic fight (as you might expect from a Ninja Assassin facing off with a Yoga Teacher/Circus Performer).

 

BUT THEN!

She has a sudden image of her father, telling her basically that she's a big gooey marshmallow who loves everyone and everything, and she should never change.

So... she lets him go, and runs off to tell Jack she loves him. Effectively. OK, first she has to break up with Mini Conrad Daniel. And to hang out with Nolan in yet another cozy white sweater.

I like how the button detailing on the shoulder makes it look kinda like a holster. Appropriate for Emily, no?

If your heart didn't break a little seeing how happy she was to go and (she thought) finally hook up with Jack, then YOU HAVE NO HEART.

Look how excited she is to see him here. I don't know if it was on purpose, but she's dressed just like he was earlier - cozy sweater, peacoat.

I have to add that I loved the moment when Jack was like, "What happened to you?" and she was like, "You should see the other guy." Jack thought she was kidding, but honestly? WHM is worse off, facial wounds-wise, than Ems.

For the record, Emily totally won that fight. OBVIOUSLY.

What do you do when your heart is broken and your revengenda totally falls apart? Change into yet another cozy white sweater, if your name is Emily Thorne.

Oh, and stare sadly at your Infinity Box in front of the fireplace. But wait... didn't she bury the Infinity Box in the beach the night of Tyler's shooting? Or is this Infinity Box 2.0? Who can keep track?

 In any case, we are reminded again of Emily's true inner state:

But then!! Nolan arrives with YET ANOTHER secret video, this time showing that Conrad, Queen V and WHM all know that her mother is TOTALLY ALIVE. What?

What does that even mean? Who knows! It's impossible to predict what madcap insanity is going to happen on this show next. We're left with about 1,000 unanswered questions taking us into Season 2, and I cannot WAIT to get even 1 or 2 of the answers.

We started recapping this show, not sure where it would take us, but quickly realized what a gem of a show we've got on our hands. The fashion is FEROSH, the acting is fantastic, the storylines are COMPLETELY DEMENTED, and I'm so happy to have been able to share this wacktastic season with all of y'alls.

See you in the Hamptons in the fall, everybody!

Mini recap: Reckoning

This week's SEASON FINALE(!!!) episode of THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME EVER included Emily busting out ninja moves (AND AN AXE), the return of suddenly-pregnant Fake!Amanda, Emily hiding an MF'ing lockpick in her MF'ing hoodie drawstring, THE WHITE HAIRED MAN, and oh yes, QUEEN V AND LYDIA TOTALLY GOT BLOWN UP IN A MF'ING PLANE. In other news, Charlotte joins Queen V and Lyds among the possibly-dead, while Emily's long-lost mother joins the ranks of the TOTALLY NOT DEAD. CLIFFHANGER(!!!)

Emily's Target
White Haired Man, you goin' down!!! (Literally). Emily drop-kicks and pummels WHM into total submission, then nearly strangles him with A GIGANTIC AXE! Thor's hammer's got nothing on Emily's axe.

Gala of the Week
WHO HAS TIME FOR GALAS?!!?! It's time to get your REVENGE (!!!) ON!

Best Dressed
Emily's creamy fisherman sweater with peacoat and sunnies ensemble, most definitely. Honourable mention to Lydia's green strappy "I will run off with you Conrad NO WAIT I will betray you" dress and black belt combo.

Most Soapy Moment x 3
1) After politely chloroforming herself, Emily picks the lock on her handcuffs with a lockpick hidden in her MF'ING HOODIE!
2) Emily is going to go confess her luuurve to Jack but OH NOES! It's Fake!Amanda who is now pregnant with either a pillow, Jack's baby or (my guess) BABY REVENGE (!!!) SENSEI!
3) Lydia and Queen V's slow-mo stroll onto the PLANE OF DEATH. Seriously, anytime it goes slo-mo before boarding... rethink your travel plans. RIP, fancy ladies. (maybe?)

Over-the-Shoulder Hugs: 2.5
1) Emily's pre-murder hug with Nolan, 2) Conrad's steely-eyed hug with Lydia, 2.5) Conrad's steely-eyed cheek-kiss with Lydia (not quite a full hug)

Ann (hey, that's me!) has the delightful pleasure of recapping this Episode Of Episodes for y'alls on Saturday!!

Grief - Part 1 of 2 - Beez In The Trap

Y’all, we are just ONE episode away from closing out the first season of Revenge (!!!), and can I just say it’s been a pleasure riding this emotional rollercoaster with you? I remember recapping the first episode and thinking, “...this shit is going to be out of control”. From the flashbacks, to the plot twists, the forgettable character introductions and, of course, the Red Sharpie of Doom, I’ve loved every minute. Now down to business, namely the business of straight up murder. Emily’s finally got a lead on the White Haired Man so naturally she’s charging in head first and using Nolan as a human shield. Charlotte’s gotten all 12-Steppy which is great to see, but she obviously just needs to detox from her family. Daniel has totally owned his role as New Suit on the Block, while Ashley’s back to planning lavish parties/weddings. And the real dramz this week? Well, it starred Jack and the other stunning natural blonde in the Hamptons - Sammy. 

Poor Charlotte. Seriously. The girl starts off as a Plastic, wearing rompers and sundresses, graduates to Grayson Couture, and finds out that not only is she the product of an affair, but that her family is like an upper-class version of The Departed. Yet with all that material to work with, she’s about as lively as frat boy after a flip cup tournament. The skirt blouse combo is great, although the no-sleeve thing feels out of place. You can’t see in this shot but she’s also rocking knee-high boots which feel a little forced. 

Declan, did you borrow one of Nolan’s bomber jackets from 2002? He’s already paying your tuition, did you need to raid his closet as well? Not that it looks terrible on Declan, but I’ve never liked coats for dudes with wool collars. Ever. Someone get this boy a scarf.

Alright, Charlotte does a classic storm-out during the “family” therapy session at Grayson Manor and immediately heads to Declan’s. But there’s one (predictable) problem: the hot girl from school is over and walks out of the shower JUST as Charlotte tells Declan she loves him. Classic Soap Move. For some reason, Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” kept playing in my head. Thus, a caption was born.

Oh, hey Victoria’s stunning coat, I didn’t see you come in. It could be the light playing tricks, but I swear those buttons are tortoise shell. And if they are, then a series of windmill snaps is in your favour, Queen V.

Whatever happened to my polo loving, prepster peppered man-boy Daniel Grayson? He’s gone all corporate. Sure, the man can wear the hell out of suit, but I refuse to believe the men in this show go from suit to pyjamas. Where’s the in-between, paint stained sweats? At any rate, Daniel’s combo of blue and brown (at least I see brown) is effortless and didn’t make me vom like that 2008 trend where everything was powder blue and chocolate brown. 

Numba. One. Stunna. Victoria Grayson, you have worn many, many vacuum sealed dresses in your time, but this one takes the cake and eats it alone in a closet during your 22nd birthday party. The scarlet colour is a beauty and simply accessorizing with a gold bracelet is perfect. Aside from the weird indentation on your waist line, it’s seamless. Actually, it could quite literally be seamless. Fashion Jokes! 

Connie, you’re so sassy this week! Obviously rocking the respectable Republican look, with your sensible cut suit and deep red tie. Can’t say I love the shade of Capitol Hill brown you’ve chosen but the hand on the hip makes up for that. Maybe he’s born with it?

Could shacking up with your longtime fling have something to do with the spring in your step? No matter how you block the scene, Lydia will always look taller than Connie because she is a total Amazonian. Her sheer silk robe that seems to be held closed by willpower forced the “I’m an adulterer” schtick in my face, but I’ve always had a soft spot for the woman who survived falling off her balcony and imprisonment at Grayson Manor. 

Particularly when she wears animal skin like it's nobody's business.

More Kenneth Jay Lane...

Oh yeah, these ladies have some unfinished business. Queen V, not content to ever be second fiddle, heads back to the penthouse to unleash some venom on Lyds.

“Why would Conrad hold onto something that he knows has little value whatsoever. Other than you of course.” - A-mah-zing.

Meanwhile in The Hamptons, fallen media relations officer Ashley is back to organizing and hosting lavish Grayson affairs, including the wedding. Since Emily is in full ninja strike force mode, she couldn’t give a toss about what’s happening. But Ashley does. Otherwise she wouldn’t have shown up in a beautiful animal print sheer blouse and nautical styled coat. Girl needed way more screen time this season.

How did Emily stack up this week against her stylish co-stars? Not very well. But that was to be expected. You can’t exactly sneak up on a man and straight up murder him in heels and pantsuit. Since she has a killer figure, it all looks good on her.

See this grey t-shirt? Get used to it, y’all. 

Side note: anyone else chuckle at her hidden camera in the George Orwell book? We get it. You’re spying on people. Can’t we go back to disguises and Sharpies? (Editor's note: If the Red Sharpie doesn't make an appearance next week, I will be #soprofoundlysad)