Pretty Little Liars: I'm Your Puppet

Part 2 of 3: Church Restoration Is Just a Hobby

Ella (because she's the new Wren and is EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME) tells Hanna that Caleb's dad, Jamie, stole the $8,000 church bell. And she knows this because she's conveniently on the church restoration committee, which is just as convenient as Emily's mom working at the police department.

Also, her outfit is just okay. Totally not in love but I do appreciate the subtle accessorizing (ahem Aria).

Hanna's all, "Well, duh, not surprised," in this floral dress and white jacket.

Unfortunately, this outfit is SO UNFLATTERING. I don't know what it is. Ash Benson is gorg but this floral dress makes her look pretty bottom-heavy. Also, her hair is flat. Which is like a travesty, considering we already have enough problems with Spencer's hair.

Even though we've all pretty much given up on Spencer's wardrobe, Mrs. Hastings remains pretty optimistic about getting Spencer into an owl-print blouse, which is a staple piece in Spencer's closet.

At least it USED to be...

No worries, Mrs. Hastings. We want her in that owl-print blouse just as much as you do.

Veronica realizes just how serious the situation is and is all, "I guess I should pull up a chair..."

At least she's killing it for the both of them. I love that red blouse and her hair... yowza.

Ronnie continues her streak with this gorgeous purple robe she wears in a flashback. Veronica Hastings! Where have you been hiding?

Veronica reveals some pretty serious info to Spencer about Allison. Primarily, that she got into a rumble with someone the night before her death.

Meanwhile, Emily's now the new Spencer and takes the girls down to the morgue to prove to Spencer once and for all that Toby is not dead.

Of course the other girls are all, "Yeah, yeah, Em, whatevs."

Unfortunately, no matter how much she candy stripes it up, Emily will always be Emily AKA causing trouble when there doesn't have to be AKA getting punked by A and the Red-Coat-Blonde. I mean, Spencer's stuck in a mental hospital and she's already getting more work done than all of them combined. #PLLREALTALK

Aria agrees to pick up Ezra's son Malcolm from karate class, already forgetting that the last time she was near this child she almost killed him.

Wow, I am digging her outfit AGAIN. I love the big peter pan collar and the frilly lace hem and even the leather jacket on top.

Though her styling skills are up to snuff, her babysitting skills are still down in the dumps.

She discovers that someone else, using her name, already picked Malcolm up. A kidnapped Malcolm??? SHIT JUST GOT REAL. Like, serious, Law and Order: SVU real. Like, candy-in-a-van-missing-child real. Like, seriously though, WHY THE EFF IS ANYONE LETTING ARIA HAVE ANY CHILD RESPONSIBILITIES STILL?!?!

Pretty Little Liars: Birds of a Feather

Part 1 of 2: The Real Housewives of Rosewood

Melissa was the Black Swan! We also learn she was faking that pregnancy for way longer than anyone expected AND she has a magical closet that almost rivals that of Sutton Mercer! Jason is back in town with a $50k reward and a collection of tight t-shirts. Dollars to donuts the ladies will be calling him with "tips" on what happened to Alison just to get a chance to see his abs talk to him. Detective Darren is back and visiting Mona. Naturally, he's already suspicious of the Liars. And breaking all the hearts is Caleb and Hanna's split, as she tries to protect him from A. On the upside, maybe we can get some serious gratuitous male shirtlessness when they have makeup sexytimes?

Ladies, we need to talk. Because I'm having feelings about what is going on here and they are not good feelings.

Aria, sweetie, I know we snark on your crazy feathered boho ways, but that dress? It makes you look like you're a lip injection short of joining the latest Real Housewives cast. And Hanna is not much better in the jacket and formal shorts. I mean, it's a super cute jacket, but next to that dress, she also looks like she's aiming to be a lady who lunches.

Then again, it could just be Aria's dress that's doing it. It's infectiously awful. I think it's the overtness of the molded cups, combined with the saccharine cap sleeves, combined with the leopard/cow print. That's enough to create a contamination zone of bad fashion waves.

Because on her own, Hanna is looking her usual cute self. Although, why is she being so distant to the prettiest of men in Rosewood? 

Seriously kitten. He bought you Bon Iver tickets and he just wants to love you.

Don't make this happen.

Two things could make Caleb's outfits better: a happier face and less grey. Not on board with all this grey. There has to be a different coloured t-shirt he could wear. May he could borrow one from Jason.

While the jacket on Hanna was charming, a few of her other outfits were far less so.

What is this wrapped shirt all about? So matronly and so un-Hanna. Although Emily's t-shirt was quite Emily (read: *yawn*). Seriously, if I were Shay Mitchell I'd want my contract re-written. She deserves combat pay for that snoozer of a wardrobe.

Back to Hanna. This blouse? What the what? Are those cupcake wrappers?

Ruffle overload, you guys.

At least Aria gave up on the Real Housewife look and went back to her Aria ways...although I'm similarly confused by this ensemble, which seems to serve as nothing more than an accessory backdrop. She's a walking Claire's display.

I need a better look at both of those outfits. Maybe that'll help.

No, no it doesn't. Both of them are a little cray. Especially when you see the shoes Hanna went with.

The bold bracelet is a yes. I'll even say that Ruffle Explosion is a good match for the yellow skirt, but black booties with this fresh summertime look? That's a no.

But Ashley is totally winning for Stylish Mom of the Year. The lady knows how to pick a good dress (scroll back up for more evidence of that). The other moms need to go shopping with her more. Ashley's got great hair and a great wardrobe. Two things Veronica and Ella do not have.

Lady, I love a good bob and a blunt bang, but this is not doing you any favours.

And Ella?

It's the fab and the frump. Ashley is killing it with crazy amazing hair and a flattering navy dress, while the only thing Ella is working is that glass of chardonnay. Maybe that's why Aria set the bar so low when she started looking for Ella's match made in eHarmony.

For reals? With all the cute boys that town has, are we to believe that the only single men online in Rosewood are bald, middle aged, and not at all good looking? If that's true, then I weep for the moms of Rosewood. 

Possibly crazy enough to be a Real Housewife is Melissa. Bitch is torturing her sister, claiming to be the victim of blackmail, dressing like the Black Swan at a high school party and faking a pregnancy for about six months (how the hell did she do that so convincingly? Did she get a new prosthetic belly each month? I have so many questions!). At least she always does it in style.

Note to Emily, if you're going to do a tank top, do it sparingly and do it like that. 

And for a movie date with her dear sister Spencer?

Super stylish tennis anyone? The bag and belt are pretty much the best. I was wondering how she does it so well, but it turns out she has a magic, colour-coded closet that can easily fit three girls.

For reals though. That closet is the shit.

My reaction to her shoe display was not unlike Hanna's:

Complete and utter disbelief that someone would have such a pretty, backlit shoe shelf. Golf claps, Melissa. You may be crazy bananapants, but you are well-organized and well-dressed. That gets you far here at YKYLF.

Kingdom of the Blind - Part 2 of 2 - The Allies and Frenemies

Ezra looked so dapper this week! He dressed up just to save Ella's job, but I'm advising he wear things like these more often now that he's out of work. You know, dress for the job you want, and all that. When he hangs out with Aria, he wears adorable button-ups, but they're nothing compared to this suit and tie!

More Ludlow...

I don't know why I believed Jenna was blind... she knows how to put a look together. This dress was gorgeous and a perfect match with the belt.

More Marc by Marc Jacobs...

She looks like an Urban Outifitters campaign, and I mean that in the best way possible.

I may hate Melissa, and she may look insanely suspicious while burning something, but this girl can pull off a Lacoste polo better than anyone on the LPGA. Her outfits are always simple and chic, and it doesn't hurt that her makeup is flawless.

So, as we make these recaps, we typically take way more screenshots than we need. EVERY SINGLE ONE that I captured of Mona were terrifying. Her smile... her outfit... whether this girl is faking or not is not even relevant... she's certifiably off her rocker.

Seriously, somebody please give Janel Parrish an Emmy for "Best Psycho".

Hey Jenna, we were just talking about crazy people!

Once again Jenna hit it out of the park (AGAIN: how could you think she was blind??). Her leather handbag made me drool, and this casual yet stylish shirt is a perfect choice for school. Nice work!

I guess we know where the Hastings girls get their good looks. Mama knows how to look poised and professional at all times, and this new 'do is doing wonders for her. 

Also, she gives incredible bitchface. Again, we see where Melissa and Spence get it from.

From bitchface to pretty face. I honestly keep forgetting what Jenna looks like... she's beautiful!

It's like if Darth Vader took off his mask, except instead of Anakin Skywalker's burnt mug, we see Jenna's perfectly symmetrical visage. Oh, and bonus points for her always amazingly coiffed hair and cute tank top. See, she's not all bad, is she?

It Happened That Night - Part 3 of 3 - The Leftovers

Emily should really take some tips from Pam. She sports the summer Hamptons look like she's a member of the Revenge cast.

Also winning points in the Most Stylish Mom category is Veronica. A little summer air has done her good! Lovin' her hair and red is totally her color. 

Sorry moms, time to check in on the boys. Garrett looks so much hotter in jail, right? That Justin Bieber hair is really working for him. 

And this suit is working for Wren. Although, he just shows up everywhere, doesn't he? I love that the PLL writers try to keep him on the show by inserting his "doctor" abilities anywhere that seems plausible. 

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Let's end on the best-dressed of all. IT'S MALE SHIRTLESSNESS TIME! After a near-season of drought, ABCFamily heard our pleas and gave us some eye candy. Let's just revel in Toby's perfect physique.

Alright, so there was only one example of male shirtlessness. But still, it's a start. We'll take what we can get.

Picture This - Part 1 of 2 - Remember, I Own You

Episode Synopsis:  Stolen kisses, hard goodbyes, breaking and entering, hot and heavy dreams, creeptastic pictures, dazed and confused - this pretty much sums up this week's episode.  Aria was too busy dreaming about (and kissing) both Ezra and Jason to notice that Mike has officially gone off the deep end.  Spencer has returned to her 007 roots, stumbling upon Jason's dark room filled with freaky pictures of Aria.  Emily continues to be controlled by 'A' who forces Emily to give her number to Samara's friend Zoey (who bears a striking resemblance to Taylor Momsen).  Of course, Samara finds out about this and isn't too pleased with Em.  But even with all the craziness that happened this week, the only thing that mattered is that our favorite couple, Hanna and Caleb, had the most heart-breaking goodbye as Caleb left for California to finally reunite with his mom.  Heart.  Breaking. 

There was too much sleuthing, crying and puppeteering by 'A' for our Liars to worry much about their fashion choices, but we did have a few respectable outfits.

'A' just gets creepier and creepier by the day, and he/she seems to really have it out for Emily. 

Aria was troubled by some steamy dreams about Jason (though with that body, can't say I'd be too disappointed about having those dreams), and as a result she amped up her love sessions with Ezra.  But with this outfit, I'm not too surprised he had reservations about actually doing something about Aria's advances.  I don't like high waisted anything and this shirt with the ruffled skirt on the bottom is terrible.  It almost looks like she's wearing a leotard with a very short, and very high ballet skirt.  Gives me the willies. 

 

One of Aria's dream sequences.  At least she dreams well.  She is wearing the prettiest little nightgown here.  The color is gorgeous, and it's sexy but still not too revealing since she is only what?  16?  I do have to say though, that I much prefer Jason here, even if he is the weirdest, creepiest guy this side of the Mississippi.  Oh, and I think Aria looks absolutely stunning. She should wear her hair pulled up more often. 

Yes, Aria, that is the same face I made when I saw this outfit.  I was super surprised because in a normal world, this is not an outfit I would approve of.  But in this crazy, messed up world of Rosewood, I actually love this outfit so much.  I love all of it.  The multi-colored tank with belt (although, what's with the arrow?  It's basically begging Jason to come on in), the bright blue jeans which are so in right now, the boots....ahh I want it all!

 

And well, he took her up on her invitation.  Aria and Jason's stolen kiss, and methinks the lady doth (not) protest too much.  If only she knew what was in his shed...

 

Here's Aria's shirt covered up with one of her many jackets.  Thankfully, this one is not a cropped one.  Emily looks about as excited as a fashionista shopping in Wet Seal.  At least her outfit isn't too bad, but I can't tell if her jacket is cropped or not.  I really like her bag though.  Great outfit for school.

 

Maybe 'A' is targeting Em because he/she is tired of how bland she dresses?

A closer look at Emily's sparkly shirt.  This is a very nice change from her normal cotton v-neck t-shirts.  I am really into this olive green color at the moment, and the gold sparkles really add a nice girly touch.

 

So maybe our lovely Em doesn't dress the best, but she sure knows how to rock a manicure.  Like PLL Editor Kate, I too am obsessed with nail polish (I mean like really, I've been known to ask random girls on the street what shade of polish they're wearing).  This bright yellow is so fun and looks wonderful with her skin tone. 

 

Dear Samara, if you continue to dress this horribly, I'm going to have to forbid you from hanging out with Emily.  She already has enough troubles without your poor wardrobe choices potentially influencing her.  I hope you understand.  Sincerely, Lauren.

 

I mean really, is she a biker chick, is that what the holes in her ridiculously long shirt are all about?  Newsflash love - you're not preggers, no need to wear maternity clothes.

Gah this outfit just breaks my heart.  It's such a waste of denim.  I wish they would pass a fashion law that forbids denim to be used for anything other than pants, shorts, or skirts. 

 

Looks like the girls are going through a curly hair phase, and I must say I think it looks excellent on all of them.  And even though candy-striper outfits are a disgrace to the fashion world, the girls don't look half-bad in them.

 

I'm so sorry you have to bear witness to this, I tried to shield your eyes from this monstrosity as best I could.  On the bottom we have Spencer's standard pair of jeans and boots, but on top we have...

...a shirt stolen from Rachel Berry's closet.  Spencer, darling, we are not in pre-school, please try to dress your age. 

 

It's common knowledge that Spencer's family is very well off, so I find it very hard to believe that she doesn't have enough money to buy a proper outfit and had to turn an old Mexican blanket into a tunic.  And then pair it with a terribly ugly belt.  Her only saving grace are her boots, which are mucho fierce.  Mucho. 

Never one to disappoint, Spencer dons another pair of her usual pants, this time in grey.  I have no idea what color pants I would wear with this top [or whatever it is], because I would just never be caught dead in it, but I don't think grey was the right choice.  And Emily's back in her black cotton v-neck, and jeans with a hole that I could fit my head through.

 

'A' is onto Spencer and Emily, caught red handed in Jason's dark room.  So are we supposed to think that 'A' is Jason since he had all the surveillance equipment and was the one taking pictures and had the dark room?  That's some pretty good evidence against him, but I'm not 100% convinced yet. Still too many suspicious characters.

 

Even though I find Spencer's mom to be a little shady, I think we can rule out the three moms due to their lack of interest in their wardrobe.  Though is it a coincidence that all three were dressed in the same color, Ashley is the best dressed. I actually do like her dress and it fits her really well.  But Veronica should know that silk does not mean high fashion, nor does it even mean a nice shirt.  And Ella only has one outfit and is just so far beyond help I don't think I have patience for her anymore. 

  

Could Jason be any more creepier (I'm saying that in my Chandler Bing voice...c'mon, say it with me).  I just got the shivers.  The only time Jason is really worth mentioning (or thinking about) is when he has his shirt off.  I really don't blame Aria for dreaming about him non-stop. 

And seriously, what is going on with Mike?  I still think he's a prime suspect for 'A'.  Or he's in cahoots with him/her.  Maybe he's been so brainwashed that he just can't function anymore?  Or as Byron suspects, maybe it is drugs.  I just don't know, but something weird is going on, and Jason seems to care a little too much about the whole Montgomery family. 

 

And then there's Jenna who's trying to get her eye sight back.  What will this mean for our Liars?  Not sure, but I do know that this is one of the best outfits I've seen Jenna wear.  I really like the slightly slouchy shirt with skinny jeans look, it fits her very well and she doesn't have any weird accessories thankfully.