Pretty Little Liars: A dAngerous gAme

Part 2 of 3: The Cage Is Getting Rattled, Y'all

Mona finally has Spencer on the A-Team and is this close to meeting Red Coat in person. That’s right – the bitch don’t know who she is! All this time Mona’s been throwing some serious shade about the Liars not knowing what’s up and this week, she let it slip that’s she’s just a pawn, too. Also, I get that she’s “in diguise” or whatever, but even a disguise should fit, honey.

Spencer and Toby reunite at a darling little diner, with Spencer more hunched over than Quasimodo, and Toby looking amazing. The hunching was really getting to the proper lady in me, but that eyeliner Spencer had happening was hypnotic. Flaw free.

I had to include this shot because it’s like the notion of sex wrapped itself in a small t-shirt and slinked out of the bathroom. This scene was pretty steamy, y’all and I was gagging over Spencer’s straight hair. It looks incredible! She needs to save this femme fatale look for other cheap motels.

Oh yes. Granted, we don’t get full abdominal action, but we know it’s there. And that’s oddly comforting.

Back in Rosewood, Aria and Ezra meet up at school to break up again. I think this time it stuck because Aria got to have a dramatic staircase exit. Once more, Aria wears a studded piece, but with it focused on the shoulders and the pyramid studs having a matte finish, it doesn’t offend me as much. We do need to draw attention to the clownish chastity belt she’s passing off as a skirt. How many buckles, snaps and straps do you count?

More Frye...

You know, if Ezra wasn’t wearing this monkey print tie, I would have no sympathy for him. But how ‘effing cute is that!? And he’s wearing a plaid jacket with a solid Oxford and printed tie — RuPaul, I think he’s got it!

Spencer shows up to the swim meet looking pretty pensive. Almost like she’s stalking someone. Sidebar: if ever I need to tail someone, I will also wear a romper-style top with lace trim. Oh, and those boots with the sock tease? It’s so nice to see Spencer back on her game.

While skulking around the school, Spencer spots a mysterious figure in a red coat. Dramz! But then she realizes the other school’s colours are red. Oh noes! But then she follows the first mystery red coat into the Meeting Restroom and finds out that it’s...

Hanna? Yes, it was an elaborate plot by the Liars to confront Spencer about being on the A-Team. This shit is starting to border on Veronica Mars territory.

Emily gets a pass for showing up to the meeting in her tracksuit. Although, I have to wonder – shouldn’t you be swimming, girl?

Eventually, Spencer confesses her whole double-agent plan she and Toby have cooked up and the Liars head back to school because you know, it’s probably a nice distraction from all the murder and intrigue and secret identities. Hanna looks positively professional in this peach Elizabeth and James jacket; has a nice sheen to it. It may be her softest school look we’ve seen yet.

Emily is giving major face in her army print coat, but who could pay attention to the clothes when she’s in full blown Rosewood Blowout with that hair.

Spencer’s serving some academic daydreamer realness with this pose and that hat. I do so love a good Homburg hat in the wild. If not for those cut-outs on the sleeves, we’d be disappointed in Spencer’s look but I know you were all gasping once you saw them. 

Wow – you wanna talk about soft looks at school? Aria’s simple sweater and necklace combo are downright plain! I’m a little shocked, but I enjoy the change of pace. Besides it’ll help her blend into the background when she’s hiding from...

...her ex-boyfriend/English teacher.

Pretty Little Liars: Misery Loves Company

Part 3 of 3: Team Spoby No More?

Please say it ain't so! Could this be one of the most heart-wrenching break-ups ever? I think yes.

While dumb Toby was with mean Mona plotting the girls' demise, Spencer was trying to cheer up Aria. Even though we don't get to see Spencer's whole outfit, I just know it's super fab. For starters, the navy boat shoes! Paired with what looks like an extra long navy and white striped cardi, and those jeans cuffed at the ankles! Such a great, real outfit. A circle o' snaps for Spence.

But oh, Spencer. Just knowing what's about to happen to you makes this outfit that much sweeter. This was editor Kate's fav look of the week, and I totally get it. (For me it was a toss up between this and Hanna's blue phenom. Slight edge goes to Hanna.) This Diane von Furstenberg Novalee blouse is so vintage, (another Downton-inspired look, perhaps?) yet trendy and chic, and the pattern of her skirt is to die.

Spencer finishes the look with these fantab black boots and red socks. Honestly, what about Spencer is not perfect?

More Ippolita...

 

As I was saying... hubba hubba whaaaa???

Let's just have another looksie, shall we?

But ugh, Toby! Not even your 14 pack abs can spare you from my contempt.

During Toby's towel-off, Mrs. Hastings waltzed into the room, seemingly unfazed that Toby was a) half-naked, and b) in her daughter's bedroom, with c) her hands all over him. Oy, the parents on this show!

Closer look at the small bow buttons and bibbed lining of Spencer's glorious blouse. And a better look at the lace detail of this must-have (yet sadly sold out) DVF skirt.

And then it all went downhill. Whilst preparing dinner, Spencer stumbled across Toby's fake Radley ID card. And since Specer is, well, Spencer, she realized that Toby's been moonlighting as one of A's minions. How could he?

Yup, that's right Toby. Caught red handed. I'd say Toby most def "took care of it" although I'm still trying to figure out what "it" is.

Lady Mary Spencer, I'm sorry. I know your heart is breaking in a million pieces, but I can't stop staring at your soft and bouncy hair and that blouse. OK, now go release that slap heard 'round the twitterverse.

Wanting so desperately for this to all be one big mistake, she dons this drop dead gorgeous 1920s style wool coat and begs Toby to prove her wrong. Seriously, a girl who dresses this spectacular and is this smart and caring just doesn't deserve such heartache. 

Ughh breaking....

My....

HEART!!

Well, one can no longer accuse Spencer of being devoid of drama or emotion. Girl nailed the ugly cry like Aria nailed A from her coffin on Halloween. 

And you, bitch. don't even get me started. You just think you can come in with those perfectly curled eyelashes and drink my girl Spencer's wine? Some nerve you've got, Mona. Some nerve. 

Guys is this really the end of Spoby? I mean, I really don't like him since he's (we think) on the A Team, but they were so cute together. And my Spencer's poor heart! Though next week's previews did show Toby and Spencer half naked and together... gah! I can't wait til next week to find out. This show, I tell ya!

Pretty Little Liars: Mona-Mania

Part 1 of 3: Born To Be Bad

I already knew this episode would be great when I saw it was going to be called MONA-MANIA (which sounds like an amazing musical version of PLL). While nobody broke into song, this show is def running on all cylinders so far this season. PLL never runs out of insane, random terrifyingness and now that Mona's back in school? Set your drama gun to STUN because this show is OUT OF THIS WORLD. While Mona and Toby are the only confirmed members of the A-Team, this week brought out fishy behaviour from Lucas and Jason as well. And Byron. And Meredith. At this point, I think the series finale will reveal that the entire town of Rosewood is A, apart from the PLLs.

The A Queen, Miss Thang Mona, showed up at school with her best "I'm so totally innocent and wronged!" face on. She accentuates this "I'm so pure and sweet!" con with girlie, ruffled ensembles inspired by Taylor Swift circa when she was dating that Jonas Brother.

And facial expressions inspired by Anne Hathaway in Les Mis. "I dreAmed A dreAm..."

Her blue dress is really sweet, though better suited for an Easter parade than Rosewood Hi Skool (or the Coffeeshop of Terror). And... did she borrow that leopard print cardi from 80s Carrie Bradshaw? 

She continues with this T-Swizzle aesthetic (now moving up to 2012-dating-the-Kennedy years) in this Peter Pan collar top and skinnies:

She adds an extra touch of ladylike sweetness with these pearl drop earrings:

Between the earrings and the lace trim, she may as well be dragging around a halo and angel wings and a banner that says "I'M TOTALLY NOT TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE (EXCEPT I CLEARLY AM)."

When she challenges Spencer to become Empress of All The Nerds, though, she steps it up with this red bow-neck top (in a tribute to Taylor Swift, the Harry Styles era):

If it weren't for the Sailor Moon buns on the back of her head, I might fall for this cinnamon-spice-and-everything-nice act. But this cray hair is a reminder that this girl is PURE INSANITY.

Even Mona, with her Extreme Personality Disorder, can't keep up this poor-wounded-kitten act 24/7. She lets the old Mona face out as she slays Spencer in Nerd Showdown 2013.

The rest of the A-Team apparently also got the memo that this week is all about being TOTALLY NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL. Check out Toby's wholesome All-American boyfriend "TOTALLY NOT A" look:

Did he borrow the plaid shirt from Ethan on TLG, the henley from Finn on Glee, and the easygoing grin from Jack on Revenge(!!!)? He may try to Frankenstein himself into the ULTIMATE GOOD GUY BOYFRIEND WHO IS TOTALLY NOT TRYING TO KILL YOU, but I can see his true colours.

we see through this.

Bold move, taking a call from your boss right in front of the tragically oblivious Spencer. You get down with your eeevil side, Toby.

At this point, I can't decide of Lucas is a) being blackmailed to work for Mona, b) working for Mona but pretending like he's being blackmailed and he doesn't want to, or c) some other new thing we don't even know about yet. What I do know is that he's out of his Emo Hoodies and back into his throwback Seth Cohen threads:

SPOILER: Lucas is about to get some competition in the Cute Nerds of Rosewood competition.

Smugging around Rosewood Hi Skool is our latest A suspect, who is possibly also just a nasty person. Yes, friends, it's Byron's once and future piece, Meredith!

It's a bold choice to never cover up the bandage from her grievously burned arm. But she's not the sort of person to let something like that affect her style. That slouchy teal blouse sets off her Rosewood curls (tm), walking that fine line of Adulterous Marriage Ruiner and High School History Teacher.

The next day at school, she vamps it up a la Joan from Mad Men in this retro pencil dress:

Between the dress and her non-hidden bandage, she's working a little Fifty Shades of the Morning After Gray.

She throws on a coat later when she, for no apparent reason, is totally non-evilly offering Aria a cup of totally-not-poisoned tea:

"Hey, teenage girl who I was accusing of trying to murder me with arson last week. Why don't you drink this tea that I totally made myself, despite being in clearly manufactured tea bags?"

But despite all of Mona, Toby and Meredith's machinations, one character rose above them all as this week's Creep of the Week.

Not since Ian drank the milk so many seasons ago has a guy been as creepy as Byron reminscing how he discovered Aria's Halloween candy hiding spot as a kid.

I just don't see this ending well for the Montgomery fam.

Pretty Little Liars: She's Better Now

Everyone Needs A Nemesis: Part 1 of 2

Welcome home to Rosewood, y’all! When we last left our Liars, the Halloween Train nearly finished off our girls – and Adam Lambert was awkwardly hitting on Aria. Since then, there has been no shortage of the dramz. Having Mona back at school isn’t exactly what Aria, Spencer, Emily and Hanna were looking forward to, so naturally they become obsessive, paranoid and standoffish about everything. But Mona’s not the only new girl at Rosewood High and the endless tragicomedy that is the Liars lives gets a bit more complicated.

Oh yeah. Mona looks much better than the last time we saw her sneaking around in that oddly retro nurse uniform. You have to give her snaps for not dressing too loudly on the first day back from the crazy house. Beige is great for blending in and the sweater is a nice cut, plus that Peter Pan collar ain’t hurtin’ no one. Belting it was totes the right choice.

 

I can’t say I’m down with the knife/cow brain accessory, but to each their own. Actually, I was cringing during this scene, especially when everyone had their phones out. Nice subtle commentary on the nature of social media, ABC Family. I was waiting for them to break out into the Leper Song from “Jesus Christ Superstar”.

At least Mona can find comfort in the toned, muscular arms of Jason DiLaurentis. Why she hasn’t clocked him for wearing that awful Western inspired shirt is the real mystery this episode. If you’re going to wear that sincerely Jason, at least tuck it in and look slick. Having it all loose and flowing makes you look like an extra in “Footloose”. 

Although, Jason has never been a leader for the men’s fashion scene in Rosewood. A henley that shows off your dazzling pecs? If you weren’t so... I mean, if they weren’t... and your hair looks so soft... alright, you get a pass this time, DiLaurentis. Is it too much to ask that the men step up their game?

See? There’s reliable Lucas, looking cute and preppy in his sweater/button down combo. His wardrobe always stays true to his nerdy background, but compared to the other guys, he’s a bloody fashion plate. It would have been great to see this look slightly updated with a Breton stripe rather than this blocky pattern.

Alright, back to Mona for a minute. After the brain locker incident, Mona posted a video confessional online to set the record straight. I’m guessing because she threw in some tears everyone figured, “...yeah, she’s better now”, and pulled a 180º out of the hater zone. Listen Rosewood, just because she wore that accountant’s outfit, and just because she’s wearing this J. Crew sweater, does not mean it’s all good in the hood.

Oh, sidebar, what is happening with this gym teacher’s hair? It’s like she tried for the Rosewood volumized locks and then was all, “this belongs in an up do!”

With Mona back at school, there’s suddenly a flurry of A Activity. Remember the creepy hotel attendant? Well, now he’s a janitor who’s writing letters to Alison in her journal, and is storing Mona’s A gear in the school basement. I’ve only got one word for this nonsense...

If only Wayne Fields knew what was up – he wouldn’t tolerate this nonsense one bit. After all, he did install a full security system to keep Emily safe (re: locked inside). Wayne is totally the dad who would scare your friends and make you check in every hour with a text message when you’re at a late movie. Not exactly crushworthy. 

Byron Montgomery on the other hand, would totally be a crushworthy dad. Sure, he’s a little dorky and awkward, but Byron would let you stay up late to watch “Saturday Night Live” and give you your space for some girl talk. Too bad he’s a lying, manipulative cheater that hooks up with any young, blonde thing that comes his way.

Well, speak of the devil – Meredith is back on the scene! And this time she’s Aria’s American History teacher. I was a little torn on her character because at first glance, I figure anyone who can pull off a plunging neckline as a teacher deserves some respect. Especially when it’s a beautiful violet jewel tone. But then she threw a little more shade than was necessary, so I shut her down. Seriously though – she nailed the young, sexy teacher look.

This screenshot isn’t my best work, but I wanted to throw it in for Meredith's cute cuffed jeans. Top those off with a mossy green sweater and matching shoelaces, and you have to wonder how Byron holding onto this woman.

From Mona to Jason to the creepy janitor, the A-list keeps growing. But let’s not forget the most puzzling member – Toby. Oh yes friends, he’s back and more batshit crazy than ever. Toby looks oddly content behind the wheel of truck as he tries to run down a hooded skateboarder. I hope his new penchant for black hoodies doesn’t take away from his Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness...

...because I don’t think Jason is up to the challenge. I’m not sure what macho, Southern land owner look he’s aiming for with his veranda sitting, beer sipping, shirt draping attitude, but I’m not buying. If only Toby could swoop in and save th-

THERE IT IS. Welcome back, Pretty Little Liars. Toby Cavanagh, party of seven?

Pretty Little Liars: This is a Dark Ride

Part 1 of 3 - Pre-Halloween Crazypants (and lack thereof)

So, last time we saw these ladies, Emily had just killed Nate after he kidnapped her GF; Hanna was sobbing because a gun randomly shot Caleb; Spencer was Spencering; and Aria was *puppies and kittens*. Seriously, why doesn't A ever do anything to Aria, ever? <spoiler> That's about to change. </spoiler>

This 2nd annual PLL Halloween Special brings creepy ghost girls, at least four A-Team members, a Caleb impersonator, a shocking revelation, one attempted strangulation, roofies, American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert and Garrett's death. Wait, is this PLL or American Horror Story? 

While regular people would take the next few months off to decompress, our PLLs seem to be doing OK. At least, their fashion sense emerged unscathed from the most recent dramz.

You know, give or take.

On first glance, we've got Spencer in a man-sized jacket, Emily in her usual denim, Hanna nearly decapitating herself with that 25-pound necklace, and Aria working Newsies realness. But YKYLF wouldn't be YKYLF if we didn't look closer, right?

Spencer's necklace looks classy and low-key, but that's just because we were all just looking at that face-sized necklace Hanna was wearing above. I've gotta say, these beads are kinda fug:

Now that she's lost the ginormous man-jacket, we see that Spencer's combining a variety of shades of rose, nude, and ivory into this ghostly nightgown... thing. Also, lace.

Remember how she's 16 and just got back from school? Yeah, I forgot, too.

Also? Pantaloons.

Seriously. She's wearing pantaloons under there. THIS ISN'T EVEN HER COSTUME YET. God, I love this show and their costume department.

I'd say that Hanna's outfit is a mess because Caleb's still recovering from being shot (and they're still secretly dating which... more on that later), but come on. The amount of trauma these girls have been through, the one thing that never suffers is their fashion. Which means I can't come up with any excuse for this mullet skirt:

TO SCHOOL. 

Like, this is way too many pieces of clothing at once. I'm counting a green top, black cardi, HEINOUS long split mullet skirt (I'm sorry, I know it's Helmut Lang, but just...no), inner black miniskirt, green Marlowe bag, necklace big enough to count as an article of clothing AND a too-big superhero belt. It's like she and Spencer are re-using bits from their old Halloween costumes as outfits today and both failed miserably.

Also? That necklace is cray. With a more low-key outfit, like a black mini, it could work. But with the green top, flowery MULLET SKIRT and She-Ra belt? Too. Much.

I like how it kinda looks like a double-sided axe, though. Foreshadowing?

Emily's outfit is uncharacteristically cute. Like, ACTUALLY CUTE. Unfortch, the show didn't notice she was dressing well and so we didn't get a very good look at her.

Love this tribal-ish black and white pattern dress. Usually Em throws this denim jacket over top of a slouchy tee and jeans, but with this dress? She's working the same casual boho vibe as Nicole Richie. And check her gorgeous new ombre hair:

You guys, I'm giving Emily her second ever OUTFIT OF THE WEEK!

All it took for her to step up her fashionz was to get kidnapped and almost killed by your stalker, who also kidnapped and almost murdered your current GF (and turns out to have already murdered your ex-GF). And wait until you see her Halloween costume. SERIOUSLY. Emily was literally ON FIRE this week.

And then we have Aria. Oh, Aria.

You know it's time to re-think your emsemble when Hanna -- wearing the Necklace That Ate Rosewood and three times too many articles of clothing -- is giving you that side-eye. But Aria? Lose the hat. OH EM GEE.

If I had Aria's hair? I would never cover my head. Seriously. She wins for Hair of the Week, hands down.

And this top is really retro sweet, with enough of the usual Aria edginess to keep it current. Seriously, I covet this top:

SO. CUTE.

Too bad she forgot her pants.

Also, those tights are a bit much. Especially without pants.

We checked in with a few of Rosewood's finest pre-Halloween, as well. Ezra popped up in what I thought was a BLACK HOODIE (clue?) but upon closer inspection, is a dark blue hoodie. 

That being said, it was a little suspicious that he was all, "Oh, btdubs, I can't go to the ghost train party because of *mumblemumblewriterstuffmumble*." I mean, he either doesn't want to hang out with his former students (understandable) or he's... ON THE A-TEAM!

Spencer hung out with her SECRETLY EVIL BF, Toby cAvAnAugh. Seriously, how did we not know he was on the A-Team with that many As in his last name?

This is a serious, Revenge(!!!)-level Over The Shoulder Evil Hug. Watch out for the Red Sharpie, Spencer!