Pretty Little Liars: This is a Dark Ride

Part 3 of 3 - Party on the Murder Train!!

Even the A-Team got into the Halloween spirit, showing up in a new costume as the hArlequin!

The hArlequin wore these awesome rings, with ROOFIES INSIDE. Seriously, apart from the roofies, these rings are kinda awesome. And? Irony: Aria is done in by killer rings. Literally, KILLER RINGS. RINGS FILLED WITH ROOFIES. BAM!

So, A totally roofied Aria (when she was busy daydreaming about American Idol Runner-Up Adam Lambert) and Aria totally woke up locked in a crate with GARRETT'S TOTALLY DEAD BODY.

And that was how Aria lost her A-ginity. Remember earlier this season, when she was like "Ahh! I'm so scared of bathroom stalls! Hold me, Spencer!" Well, now she knows what her three BFFs have been dealing with THIS WHOLE SHOW. Welcome to ALMOST DYING, Montgomery.

Oh, I mentioned Garrett's totally dead body, right? So, before he died, he confessed to Spencer that he didn't kill Ali. It's just that he hit a field hockey stick on a tree, and told his blind girlfriend (Jenna, obvs) that Ali was dead. So Jenna thinks he did it, but he didn't do it. Get it?

Yeah, I have no idea what that was all about, either.

And then!! Garrett also tells Spencer that, later on that same night (the night Ali died), he saw her talking with... ARIA'S DAD!!

Like, was Ali sleeping with literally every man in Rosewood? And could Byron get any creepier? Also: remember when Ali coerced Aria into trashing Byron's office, pretending it had been done by a woman he scorned? WAS ALI THAT WOMAN??

Besides Paily, Spoby, and Ezria, Rosewood's fourth-best supercouple showed up to the Murder Train too!

Jenoel!

Noel is a matador; Jenna is a saucy pirate wench. Is it weird I'm more comfortable seeing her with one eye closed, than when her whole face is exposed? Kinda brave of a newly non-blind girl to wear an eyepatch, I guess.

Also, Jason DiLaurentis showed up dressed like... Brandon Walsh from original recipe 90210?

"Hey guys, break it up. You should probably give me your keys, I don't think you're safe to drive home tonight."

Did you guys catch how Jason sent some sort of psychic message to Lucas, just before the hArlequin tried to strangle Spencer to death? Or were you too distracted by the fresh-faced again, less-creepy Lucas dressed like an old-timey paparazzo?

Are we supposed to like him again? Or is he still a creeper? I can't remember anymore, but I love his gigantic camera.

Also, Caleb was there, dressed as Sexy Phantom of the Opera.

Well, he was dressed as Phantom of the Opera, but anything Caleb wears automatically gets "Sexy" put in front of it. Because, come on.

Although, unexpectedly, Paige wins the prize for Best PLL Significant Other tonight. Because, did Caleb, Evil Toby or Ezra save Spencer from being TOTALLY STRANGLED by the hArlequin? No, Paige did that. Because Paige? Is the greatest.

Ezra, who missed the party because of *mumblemumblewriting* or whatever, conveniently showed up after Aria's rescue to be all like, "I'm here because of coincidences! I was driving beside the train! Totally not on the train! Absolutely I have nothing to do with the A-Team!"

Aria believes him, but I don't know. What do you think about this Over-The-Shoulder-Hug action?

He may not be as evil as Evil Toby, but something's not right in EzriaLand.

Oh, and back on the mainland, Ashley and Pastor Ted dressed as a Doctor and Nurse:

Aww, wholesome fun! Ashley seems to have modified a Sexy Nurse outfit to make it more family (and Pastor Ted) friendly, with a cleavage-covering panel in the front:

But again with the Marin women and wigs that are the same as their normal hair. What's the point of a redhead wearing a redhead wig for Halloween? Obvs red suits her very well, but like... WTF?

Oh, and then of course Ashley had a run-in with a little girl wearing Spencer's outfit from the first scene:

Was this little girl the Ghost of Ali? One of the twin girls from Ali's monologue from The First Secret? The ghost of Ali's dead long-lost twin? I literally have no idea.

Pretty Little Liars: That Girl Is Poison

Part 2 of 2 - Never Trust A Big Butt And Smile

Paige, honey, have you been rifling through Emily’s closet from last season? Fringed out tanks that don’t fit are so Pre-Mona. Normally, Paige’s style gets a pass because she’s not afraid to mix feminine and masculine pieces. But I seriously just can’t let fringe anything happen.

See, this is what I’m talking about. The knitted cap is pushing the outfit back into 2004 territory, but otherwise it’s screaming personality fierceness. And those boots? High kicks, girl. High. Kicks.

“Wow, you don’t see that often - a sassy barista wearing a scarf out of season and indoors” - said no one. Ever.

Toby, talk to me when you trade that linen nightmare for chambray. And call me when you take your shirt off.

Ashley Marin, you’re seriously the coolest mom on television. Girl is always looking ferocious in a satin top, has impeccable red hair, gets that her teenage daughter is all bajiggity over some (hot as hell) dude, and she still runs a bank. Own it, sister. 

Even when she goes casual, she brings it hard. Even Ted’s noticed. Hey Ted, eyes up here. There’s no cookies down there for you. Not until you change that shirt. 

Especially when you consider Ashley was tapping this bro to keep her daughter out of jail. AmazeballsUSA. You know, for a television cop, he's not doing a bad job here. The suit isn't navy, his tie pairs well with the shirt and doesn't have an obnoxious pattern. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this man has seen the inside of a J.Crew.

Oh, hey Nate. If you’re going to stick around, that shirt’s going to have to come off. 

I’m a little sad my man crush Lucas looks like he should be cast in an episode of “Breaking Bad”. Remember that flashback scene when he was wearing short shorts by the lake? No, me either... 

She’s back on the block and ready to rock. Give Jenna some bright colours, murderous heels and a beach bag, and she’ll show you how to work a school hallway. We’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again - she’s a total Betty.

More Vince Camuto...

 

So, Jenna’s throwing a crazy “Alice In Wonderland” themed birthday and decided to hire a professional photographer. Naturally, all creative types are quirky people with a tendency to be over-the-top and slightly androgynous. Laurel is Rosewood’s answer to “What would Annie Hall have grown to be if she were a real person?” 

Seriously, this broad is a top shelf lady. I could vomit over the birthday theme, but she’s pretty so whatever works. But this is a great example of how Aria wore it better (so to speak). Jenna’s trying to nail this pink dress, but the pockets are too visible and I don’t think having her bow tie in the front is kosher.

FB profile pic! Head out, pop that hip and drop that shoulder, honey. Dive, turn, work. Oh P.S., are you A and did you poison Emily’s flask? Because the girls are totally freaking out right now.

Let the Water Hold Me Down - Part 1 of 1 - Walking Nightmare

OK, we get it. It's always a dark and stormy night in Rosewood and A is always lurking somewhere in the shadows. But this week A seemed to be even more present than normal. From planting murky lake water in Hanna's bag to flooding the girls bathroom to putting worms in their Chinese food containers, A really brought the dramz this week. At least we found out that our adorbs little Lucas hasn't turned into one of A's minions (or at least not for this week). Spencer was in her element sluething around Jenna's old school for the blind where she was able to snatch some cruicial evidence. Aria successfully made Ezra jealous by going on a date with Holden (who by the sound of it we will be seeing a lot more of). Maya returned to Rosewood only to confuse Emily with her revealing admission. And Hanna almost went off the deep-end after the pressure of finding Lucas, fighting with Caleb, and dealing with A got to be too much.

I honestly think if it weren't for Spencer, these girls would never make it through life. Not only does she solve all their problems and tell them exactly what to do, she's the only one who can get out of bed in the morning looking sensible on a consistent basis. I was in swoon heaven this week with Spencer's outfit below. 

This plaid button down with form fitting grey vest makes Spencer look so sophisticated yet not too much so that she looks like a middle aged librarian. It's no secret that sweater vests are always a big no-no, especially here at YKYLF, but there is no denying that Spencer has exemplified how to perfectly pull off this look.

To top off this already amazing outfit, Spencer donned this beautiful piece of outerwear and cross-body bag. Together with her familiar pair of jeggings, Spencer has done momma proud.

I think the brown elbow patches are my favorite part of this jacket. A little manly maybe, but the snug fit and cinched waist gives this cross between a riding jacket and old man sports coat a more feminine touch.

Spencer, I would like to ask how you even allow yourself to stand next to the pile of trash that is on Aria. I mean come on girl! Your kick butt wardrobe should not even be allowed in the same time zone as the road kill Aria is attempting to pull off as clothing. But before I go all off on Aria, can we take a moment to look at the back of Spencer's sweater vest? Girls gone and taken sweater vest to a whole new level! It looks like it actually laces up in the back making this one sweet wool corset!

OK, so really, what animal did Aria have to skin in order to make the ugliest vest I have ever seen in my entire life. Not even Artie's ooglay vests can hold a match to this one (wait, did I really just say that?!). Whatever animal it was, it sure looks like it put up a good fight, taking out half of her pants along the way. There really is just nothing I can say except WHAT. THE. EFFF!!!! I get it, Aria's edgy. Aria's got that punk-rock thing down better than anyone. Aria doesn't give a damn what others think about her. But this? This has gone too far girlfriend. So please do us all a favor and return the vest to the side of the road where it belongs and throw those pants in the trash.

Just look at the difference. Spencer looks so awesomely preppy and normal and Aria looks like she could be working the corner!

And this BAG! I'm just SCREAMING over here. The poor, poor fashion gods. Though I will give her props because that bag most certainly matches the rest of her outfit.

Honestly, when I first saw Aria in this outfit I thought she cut her hair. Then I thought she looked like a little lion [wo]man. Then I finally realized she had it pulled into a messy side bun. The sad part of all this is that without the unnecessary beret and the inexcusable maroon vest and the over-the-top-chain-necklace-that-has-to-weigh-more-than-Kim-Kardashian's-inappropriately-ginormous-engagement-ring, I would have absolutely loved her hair.

 

Oh thank goodness for Holden. For reals yo. If that's all it takes to make Aria dress like this then I'll allow her to go out on as many dates with him as she wants (even if they're fake dates). I can't stress how much I loved this dress. I was about ready to give up on Aria after her earlier monstrosity, and then I saw this and I was smitten. She looked so adorbs, and so her age I was giddy. The dress flatters her slim body so well, AND to top it off, she accessorizes with the perfect purse. I'm so happy I can actually call it a purse and not a bag for once. I love the style and the distressed material.

Topped with this blazer and these fierce shoes, Aria done good. She done real good.

Emily actually surprised me this week. I can't say that I was jumping for joy over her wardrobe, but it was a huge improvement over her normal t-shirt and jeans look. With Maya (unfortunately) back in town, Emily decided to show off some skin on their date night. At quick glance I'm totes digging this look, but upon further inspection I so am not. Emily's pretty tall and the boots are just too short, they make her legs look kind of awkward. 

And I thought we've addressed the leather jacket issue countless times before. Apparently she did not get the message. It does not make every outfit better. It looks plastic for goodness sake!

See? No jacket, muuuuch better. This blue really looks awesome on Em and I love the cut and beading around the neckline. But I would have liked this a lot better if it were tighter--I guess we have to take what we can get...

Em seems to be addicted to baggy shirts and this one makes her look super frumpy, not to mention a little preggers.  And the black boots on the black jeans? N.O. This outfit could have been cute if the hemline of the shirt was either a v or straight, wasn't as baggy, and if she paired the black jeans with a cute pair of round toed pumps.

Wait sorry what month are we in? Did I miss Halloween?!! OMFG no, Hanna and Mona dressed like that on purpose?! I just can't... What the... How... Who let... What is... They thought... I can't even finish my thoughts I'm so flabbergasted that these two could have possibly looked in the mirror and thought their ensembles were appropriate to wear in public. Don't they have mothers? Eyes? Each other?! There are so many different patterns, so many different materials...

The white lacy tank Hanna is wearing looks so trashy and what is with all these diagonal cut shirts? Mona, you have me shaking my head because although my first reaction is to barf, something about you is just so cute I want to pick you up and put you in my pocket.

I mean COME ON! You live in Philly and it's 2012! You are not going to a hoedown and you are not in How the West Was Won! Why are you wearing SO MUCH FRINGE!!! And not only is the shoelace necklace hideous, it is so white it's blinding. UGH I just want to grab all that fringe and rip. It. Off!

But check out this manicure. How awesome does it look? I'm having a mani-orgasm over Hanna's red and leopard nails!

"She's NOT giving up the crown!" Mona won me over for life with this line. Maybe my favorite PLL line to date! I did actually feel a little bad for Mona this week, she seemed so vulnerable, so unlike herself. And while I may not approve of her choice in outfit, I am absolutely loving her tiny side braid and low messy bun. Not to mention her fabulous oversized tear-drop beaded earrings. 

Ahh and we have a mini Ezra in the making. No wonder why Aria didn't protest too much about going on a date with him. Yes, he looks like he just stepped out of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, but he's a cutie pie and he gets extra points for giving Aria gummy bears.

I honestly thought that Lucas was going to tell them how in love he is with Hanna. I mean it's clearly obvious to everyone but Caleb and Hanna. Nothing really to write home about here, typical Caleb and Lucas. I'm just happy to see that Hanna changed into this cute tank and black sweater and out of that fringe-infested-lace-vomited-all-over thing she called an outfit.

Poor Mr. Fitz. His breakup with Aria sure isn't doing anything to help his wardrobe. At least that's a positive for Aria; no other girls will be interested in getting their hands on Ezra.

I know our guys are really boring so lets end on a happy note. I love Aria's black sequined tank paired with black pants and her lace up boots. And Spencer looks so comfy in this tight hooded sweatshirt and leggings. I won't talk about Em's awful light denim wash button down so I don't ruin this nice moment. Oops guess I did.

 

The girls seem to be getting closer and closer to finding out who A is with each passing second, I just hope they're watching their backs...

A Hot Piece of 'A' - Part 1 of 1 - Fashionistas and Aria

I recently realized why I love Pretty Little Liars. It's got all the drama you expect from a teen soap, but it's SCAR. My heart pounds whenever the PLLs are in danger... so, pretty much once an episode.

After Mommy and Daddy find out about EzRia, Ms. Montgomery finds herself grounded. The girls almost catch A's Little Helper, but they end up with just A's phone, in which they find a photo of the four PLL dolls propped up in the attics of Spencer’s lake house. WAY creepy. Hanna decides to throw a surprise party at said lake house for Caleb’s birthday, but naturally everything goes wrong – Emily finds out that Lucas is A's helper, Hanna gets on a boat with Lucas to light fireworks on the pier, and that’s when Lucas decides to try to attack her. The boat flips (and that's where I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing) and Hanna swims back to shore to a scared audience and Lucas is nowhere to be found. Did he swim away? Is he dead? Did A take him and cut him into pieces? I need answers, people! And a defibrillator.

And she wonders why dad doesn’t want her to wear that to school. I don’t see how a zipper dress with boots and a see-through shirt would ever be acceptable to go…anywhere, actually. Is this her form of rebellion? And I’m sorry, but what is this necklace? Mommy’s last minute Halloween costume?

Come on now Aria, you can do better than that!

Toby is practically angelic in this white shirt...with just a bit of devil red beneath. You know, to remind Spence of old days.

Spencer’s discreet taste in jewelry should be a big, waving flag to Aria (take example from your best friend!) and her makeup is not overdone. Well played Spencer!

As we can see, the “I have to stay away from Toby” thing is not working so well for Spencer… and let’s keep it that way! Aren’t they too cute? (Ps: where can I buy that watch?!)

More smooching, this time with Hanna, her handsome boyfriend, and the ugliest bag on earth. Bonus points for the matching shoes and leather jacket, though, and a golden star for the messy bun. But that bag? It needs to see the wrong end of a match.

Aw Lucas is such a cute little nerd! Even though I’m destined to hate him after this episode's events, he looks casual and trendy with the forest green track jacket and graphic tee.

Also adorable is Emily. Though I’m not in love with the colors in this plaid shirt, her smile makes her ugly outfit go away.

And for once she's NOT in a t-shirt! I repeat, not in a t-shirt. 

This is not Aria’s best week. And the producers thought so too… which is why this is the extent of what we see of this fattening pumpkin-colored shirt that she wore for exactly half a scene.

Hanna is having a better week, at least in the accessories department – chunky metal necklace, studded leather bracelet, and dangling earrings.

I don’t hate her reptile dress either. Yes, that is a compliment.

Ezra's girlfriend's parents despise him and he might be faced with criminal charges. Don't you just hate days like that? At least he maintains the dapper factor. He's timeless, even. If not for the Star Wars toys on his desk, this could be a scene from any modern decade.

I never liked layering until now, and I credit Spencer's cute little sweater and striped shirt for showing me the way. I can’t say I give snaps for the back of the shirt, but the maroon knee-highs with the beige skirt give her a preppy schoolgirl look that I heartily approve of. You can't hear me, but I'm politely clapping over here.

Emily not only got Hanna's great accessories memo, but has also discovered that she looks radiant in this melon/salmon color. And again - not a t-shirt!

Aria, I feel compelled to give you some advice. When grounded for dating a much older man, methinks you should lay low for a while, and not insist on wearing things that show off your macaron and boobs. Case in point: crochet dresses.

Hey girls, what's up? Me? Oh, I'm just posing for a Ralph Lauren ad...

Looking a little stressed, Lucas? Props on the varsity jacket, we hadn’t seen one in a while! Forgive me, sometimes I forget these kids are in high school.

I had to point out that even through fog, forest air, and murky lake water, Hanna’s hair stays shiny and bouncy… what shampoo does she use?

Our only hope in seeing hot, half naked boys rested in Noel. Eh, not that exciting, but for now I’ll be content with this.

Through Many Dangers, Toils, and Snares - Part 1 of 1 - To 'B' or Not to 'B'FF

Episode Synopsis:  1 is the loneliest number that A ever did see.  Looks like the Liars are more than just pretty hair and a great wardrobe; they're skilled in the art of deception as well.  Their fake rift with Em lured A right into their trap, though as always, their plot was foiled.  But unfortunately, that wasn't the only thing that went awry in Rosewood this week.  Aria and Ezra finally came clean to Aria's family, causing Mike to throw the lamest of punches this side of the Mississippi.  Emily attempted to rejoin the swim team after getting a clean bill of health, only to be denied due to her recent run in with the law.  Poor Toby, even with how badly Spencer's been treating him, is still following her around like a little (albeit cute) puppy dog.  And after an unsuccessful encounter with A, the girls discovered an important piece of evidence that may end up saving their petite arses after all.

Welcome back to Rosewood everyone!  I, for one, sure did miss A's creepy texts and Spencer's spectacular preppy-chic wardrobe during the long and unwanted hiatus.  But what I didn't miss was that feeling of loss and emptiness because all my questions once again went unanswered.  Though one thing's certain, the girls are definitely wearing A down. 

Pretty in...orange?  Hanna put it perfectly when she said she looked like a "demented creamsicle" in this lovely orange get-up.  Thankfully these outfits were somewhat helpful, as the super believable throw down between Em and Spence caught A's eye.

Why yes, A, I would love to meet up in the middle of the night in a creepy rundown greenhouse with no one around but my fellow 16 year-old best friends.  What a great idea, who cares if no one can hear me scream, or find me when you've knocked me out and I'm lying unconscious in the middle of the woods. 

I was pretty impressed with Aria's wardrobe this episode.  This striped green dress was my fav.  I absolutely love the way it fits her, I love the empire waist, and I love that she paired it with a huge orange bag (especially since green and orange are my favorite colors!).   

Well I'm on this "loving-on-Aria streak", I also love that Aria and Mike are spending some quality time together, brother/sister bonding and all that jazz.

But what I don't love, are these huge gold medal fasteners and studs all over her jacket.  Don't get me wrong it's definitely Aria's style, but the dress was so cute and feminine and then she had to go and pair it with this harsh jacket.  Although, I will give her points for matching her jacket to the bottom of her orange bag.

But seriously, I mean, just look!  There's just too many, it takes away from the rest of the outfit.  Especially since she wore this super gaudy, gold necklace of...lips.  Though it does draw attention to her upper region, which is most likely what she was aiming for since she knew she'd run into a certain someone.  Come on, even I knew she was going to run into Ezra as soon as I saw her and Mike on the street!

And then, whoa!  Lady Gaga called and she wants her shoes back! Those are some serious ass-kickers!

And the love continues! I was a really big fan of this outfit.  The light grey jeans are the perfect match to the sheer knit top with zig-zag pattern; and Aria has such a great bod that she can totes pull them off. 

Take note: she did a much, much, better job with her jewelry here.  This extra long, cranberry colored necklace is a great accent to the delicate gold chain and pendant. 

You can get a better look at the detailing and color of her top in this picture.  It almost looks like the material is velour, but don't be too alarmed, I think it's just the light reflecting off the color and pattern. 

Moving onto her footwear choice, I'm not gonna lie, I actually don't hate these Quinn-esque boots.  And why is that you ask?  Why do I absolutely hate Quinn's ugly pair of boots that she insists on wearing with every dress she owns?  Well, when you see Aria's, you can tell why. 

Aria's boots are more feminine and don't look like they were pulled from her ex-construction worker boyfriend's garbage pile.  The cute little heel and tight fit really make these YKYLF approved!

Now that I think about it, I really did miss Hanna's girly, trendy, slightly quirky wardrobe too. And while the bottom half of Hanna's dress is adorable, there's something about the way the top half fits that is not sitting well with me.  To be honest (and who am I kidding, we are always honest at YKYLF), I think she's a little too well endowed up top for this to look right, it's a dress that is definitely meant for someone who hasn't exactly been blessed by the creator upstairs (not that there is anything wrong with that!).  Otherwise, I really do love the colors and most importantly the pockets on this dress!

But this over-sized, cheap looking bag is not going to get my approval.  Seriously, why is no one questioning what these girls are hiding in their bags?  Because I'm pretty sure they have more than just lip gloss hidden away in them.

And we just went from meh to awful.  There is just so much wrong with this.  Hanna's neon pink, way too short shirt is totally something Kelly Kapowski would wear.  I don't even think Hanna was alive when Kelly Kapowski reigned the TV airways ::sigh::.  Which makes me wonder what made Hanna think this top was cool enough to wear in public.  Not to mention that the design on top makes me think of a faberge egg.  Just no Hanna, no.

From drab to fab: I can't get over how gorgeous Spencer looks here.  Her hair, make up, super sad look because she wants Toby but can't have him, her beautiful black cape jacket, her boots (that I don't actually like that much but I love everything else so much that I've been tricked into liking the boots too). Where can I click "add to shopping cart"?! 

And then there's our Emily.  Our lovely, lovely Emily.  It's really a good thing she's so pretty, because it allows her to get away with outfits as terrible as this. Every. Single. Day. Of. Her. Life.

Ugh, not only is Jackie a total Biotch, but she can't even dress.  Thus, she has no right being an evil witch to Aria since Jackie's getting out-dressed by a 16 year-old.  First off, this shirt makes her look preggers, second off her pants end about 6 inches too soon, and third just leave town. No one likes you--not even Ezra, not even a little bit. 

Yes, Ezra, this outfit makes me feel how you look.  Scared, uneasy, about to throw up...

Thank god for the Toby's in the world.  This shot belongs in a Ralph Lauren ad, seriously.  Toby's stone wash, form fitting jeans, with his hands in his pocket and one leg propped up while leaning on a pick-up truck, Toby does Mr. Lauren proud.  I am so in love (please don't tell my boyfriend). I can't wait for A to go away so Spencer and Toby can reunite.

Cute, adorable Lucas! Even though this is the best outfit you've ever worn, I'm starting to get a little suspicious of you, not gonna lie.  Just know that I've got my eye on you, and when you wear bright colors like this it makes that very easy to do.

Well this explains Lucas' protective stance above, his biggest competition for Hanna's heart just walked back into town.  Good for us, bad for Lucas.  To be honest, Caleb can wear whatever the heck he wants to wear and I won't have a bad thing to say. Actually Caleb could wear nothing at all and I'd be cool with that...

Even though the boys don't bring much to the table in the wardrobe department, I think they're the only ones who can keep our Liars grounded.  That is of course, unless, one of our favorite heartthrobs is actually pulling double duty.  Can't wait to see what A has in store for us this season!