Keep Your Friends Close - Part 2 of 2 - Those Kept Close

Ok, I'm gonna say it...I think Alison has the best hair on the show. Let the debate begin. 

If this was the day I was going to steal a purse-ful of money from an old lady (albeit secretly and within the confines of a bank) I think I would have chosen an outfit a little more exciting. At least added some sleek leather gloves!

I love Ezra and his little vests. And icing on the cake, his leather messenger bag is perfection. YUM. 

Khaki-colored jeans. Enough said. 

Look at how the light perfectly illuminates Ian as he steps through the door. I did NOT mean to get a screencap this good. He certainly is no angel, as we soon found out. 

I never did understand the combination of a tank top and boots. If it's cold enought to wear boots, then how is it warm enought to wear a sleeveless shirt? Don't you run the risk of sweaty feet or cold arms? Someone please explain this to me!

Full skirt and simple tank and sweater. Honestly, I don't think we've ever seen Melissa wear anything bad.  

Dear PLL Wardrobe Department: Where are these jeans from? They are the perfect dark wash and perfect straight leg (which I find very hard to find). If you made them yourself, would you please send them to me? Thank you.

If Mona wants to wear a t-shirt, she should take lessons from Emily. This top is a fashion don't. 

Never one to skimp on trends, Mona incorporates every piece of glamorous camping apparel she can find. Oddly, it kind of works on her...

I wasn't going to include Noel in this recap because his one appearance this episode is less than noteworthy; however, I'm confused on why he is wearing both a henley-type shirt AND an opened button-down that is buttoned open? Pick ONE shirt buddy!

After watching Toby in the second half of the season with his shorter 'do, I really can't stand this shaggy look on him anymore. No wonder everyone thought he was a criminal!

Please Do Talk About Me When I'm Gone - Part 3 of 3 - Rosewood Superstars

I promised you flashback filter and I will deliver flashback filter. The last photo in Part Two obviously falls under that category but it never achieves its full potential without Alison.

Bam! There it is, in all of it’s vaseline on the lens glory. The storyline goes that Alison was murdered but, and maybe I’m alone in this, is it possible she tanned to death. I mean, that glow however aided by technology is unnatural. Also, anyone else wish she had a more commanding voice? I like HBICs brassy, like Jessica Walter.

Another trend I’ve noticed is that Ashley constantly mentions that she just brewed some coffee but that it’s not as fresh as it should be. Oh, she also walks with some sort of beverage container, like, all the time. The top is a little too Stevie Nicks for me though. I wonder if she can tell whether thunder really only happens when it rains. 

Wow. Definitely not questioning my sexuality anymore. Hot body in a flashback filter swoon.

Ugh. Jenna. Come on. Are you seriously going to tell me that she wore black all the time even before the accident? AND that she kept the same sunglasses? No, I refuse to believe it. Not in a town where the average teenage girl has steamer trunk devoted to accessories.

Jason DiLaurentis, I do declare you’re down right dashing. Fantastic choice on the patterned tie. Let this be a lesson to you all: ties need not be solid all the time. If you’re wearing a suit, punch it up with a patterned tie or, for the bolder gentleman, a loudly coloured pocket square.

But when you choose that patterned tie, make sure it doesn’t blend in with your shirt. Otherwise, you run the risk of looking like your dad in a rented suit at a wedding reception. Oh hey, Ian - when did you slither back into town?

Finn? Finn from “Glee”? Is that you? Oh no, my mistake, it’s just Sean in the uniform of a typical high school boy. I’m going to stop buttoning my shirts so I can recapture my youth. And date the hottest girl in school.

SEE!??!?! I wasn’t being facetious - even Noel Kahn is rocking the unbuttoned shirt. Side note: Noel Kahn must always be full named. It’s never just Noel - always #NoelKahn.

Poor, poor Lucas. Trying to get all up in Hanna’s grill and ask her on a date. When will you realize she’s sees you as nothing more than a confidant? Maybe once you grow a pair, I guess. “I can haz swag?” - no, Lucas. No you may not.

It’s not that I don’t like Lucas’ character, I really do but I also really wish that he would come out of the closet. Sure there’s not evidence of him being gay other than this hideous periwinkle cardigan but I find him crazy adorable. Even with this cardigan. Which is hideous.

OK - cute explosion. Short shorts, remote controlled boats and, forgive me for being crass, an impressive posterior. Every time I look at this photo, I get that Ja Rule/J-Lo remix of “Ain’t It Funny” stuck in my head; specifically the opening poetic line from Ja Rule that goes, “It must be the ass that got me like this”. I’m so street.

Now we draw ever closer to the Season 2 premiere and I’m not ashamed to say that I have a bottle of Prosecco and some snacks planned for the event. I’m not proud to say that but like I said, I’m also not ashamed. Keep checking back for more PLL Retro Recaps and until next time!

For Whom the Bells Toll - Part 2 of 3 - The (actual) Liars

Those are definitely dark skinny jeans (unlike the leggings the others are wearing), and the loose dark green top looks great on Jenna. Score one for Jenna!

Love the detailing on the heather grey top, but the girl needs some new sunglasses! She's been wearing the same pair for months now; and I will safely assume this is the first pair she bought after the unfortunate blinding incident. It's a shame Hanna didn't break them in The Slap from episode 1x20.

Did anyone else notice the old-fashioned hospital equipment and open windows with dramatically blowing curtains? Was Jenna convalescing at a 1920s sanatorium?

Confirmed this episode: Ian is beyond creepy. Also confirmed: he likes chinos and uninteresting button-ups.

Mona, Mona, Mona. The girl is all about coordinating. To the point where it's ridiculous. The gold-leaf embossed ruffled top? Cute, especially with that skirt. But her belt also has gold leaf detail, which she paired with the gold purse (which is tacky on it's own, I must say), gold nailpolish (which, again, would look fantastic on its own), and giant lemon-gold cocktail ring. Too much, Mona. Too much.

Ezra does love his plaid. And vests… what is it with high school teachers and vests? Mr. Schue should introduce Mr. Fitz to The YKYLF 12-step Vestaholics Anonymous program.

Hmm, maybe not. He ditched the vest for a nondescript blazer to attend the Montgomery's mixer. I like how the blazer covers up most of the horrid plaid.

Monsters in the End - Part 3 of 3 - All the rest

I just want to know: how does Alison get that perfect loose curl, wavy hair?? Attention ABC Family programming, your next "how-to" commercial segment needs to be this. Thanks. 

The gray-on-gray doesn't really do much for Caleb. He should just start wearing no shirt around. It would totally be believable because he's homeless...

The army green utility jacket looks great and with that perfectly tousled hair. YUM. 

Ezra is testing out his 'Ian face'.

 A vest would have looked great on top of this plaid shirt and solid tie (just a note for next time).

Green. again. This color keeps popping up on everyone! I like it. 

Can I just ask: who wears a long-sleeve shirt under a button down? The fact that this shirt has clearly been borrowed from a lumberjack or the Brawny man is besides the point. The long-sleeve undershirt peeking out from the rolled up cuffs is strange, no? 

I really like this jacket and especially the color. If Jenna can invest in a new pair of sunglasses soon, her style rank may start to improve. 

Scarf? Cute. Jacket? Cute. Hair, make-up, and accessories? Very cute. Great job, Mona. You don't look over done-up or too trendy for once!

Another score! The casualness of the hat and sweater paired with the embellished top and chain earrings are a perfect match. 

Paige defintely has worn worse things. So I'll give it a 'meh.'

I'm a sucker for anything shearling, so the jacket is acceptable. I'm especially intrigued by her top underneath (I wish we could have seen it!): it's plaid with some type of studs...

Is it just me or does Toby get cuter and cuter each week? I do love a man who can get his hands dirty...

Toby's "concerned-for-Spencer" and "come-hither" face all in one. Presh. 

Someone to Watch Over Me - Part 3 of 3 - The Background Players

Calling everyone else the background players is not totally fair but I needed a way to lump them all together, or else you'd be sitting here reading my snark for days.

If I could talk to anyone in Rosewood, I think I'd like to talk to the Chief of Police. Why? To ask him how he does not find Ian suspicious and menacing. In this episode, Ian looms in the dark drinking things with a smug look on his face.  At least he's well dressed, albeit a very preppy style. 

It looks like he ran into a J. Crew outlet and came out looking like an accountant. My personal favourite are his shoes - so casual and perfect for running from the scene of the crime. I'm onto you!

While Ashley seems to be of the same monochromatic mind frame as Jenna most days, you have to appreciate that she knows how to wear it well. By day, she's a personal banking officer who secretly stole $50,000 from a dead woman...but by night? Woman is a danger cat.

I can't talk about a black pantsuit at length but check out that silhouette. That is a woman in great shape, my friends. I know she has potential for a vicious cat fight because I used to watch Melrose Place, but I'd trade it all in for something daring in her wardrobe. Oh who am I kidding, I want a cat fight.

There is something about Byron's voice that just irks me. I can't put my finger on it but at any rate, were he one of my professors in university, I would have had a little crush on him because he wears dark denim. Most of my profs wore ill-fitting plaid shirts with pleated pants or Wrangler jeans. If that's your style then go for it, but stay out of my sight line...

 

Dear Caleb: Now that you're living in a lovely home with a fully kitted out bathroom, why is your hair unmanageable? I think someone's been dipping into Hanna's volumizing shampoo - and liked it. My only qualm with Caleb is that they try too hard to paint him as the bad boy vagrant with his clothing. 

Is army green a requisite for bad boys? I'm not loving the jeans either but as with Toby, we've all seen what's underneath, so right now we're caught in a deadly cat and mouse game of "who looks better with his shirt off?"

I would have almost believed Ella was having fun with her daughter, but the lacklustre tone in each line she delivers leads me to believe that someone is drinking at home...alone. Ella always looks professional when she goes to school and I love the coat she's wearing here, especially the cuffs. It might be a minor details but it counts. 

 

I'm not crazy about her top with its weird ascot-like detail; I see no purpose other than drawing attention away from the fact that she's wearing two watches. I realise one is probably a bracelet but I like to think she was so desheveled trying to conceal her affair with her husband that she wore two watches. One is set to Mom Time and the other to Sexy Time.

 

Mike! Look at you with your dialogue and graphic tee that I'm curious where you purchased. He's wearing some army green of his own, so maybe today was a Bad Boy day for the misunderstood Montgomery. 

 

So you might be thinking there's nothing interesting about a red hoodie, but I say stop that thinking and see the subtext - his hoodie fits! I consider it a small victory but a victory nonetheless. 

 

And last, but certainly not least, we have Veronica Hastings. Compared to Ashley, Veronica is toning down her sensuality by wearing more matronly tops. This ruffled business would usually turn me off from positive thoughts but I think it works. Veronica is a serious woman with a serious career and she doesn't need to be slinking around in tight black power suits.

I'd love to see a cat fight between her and Ashley; I think they're both ruthless. I wonder how many fountains Rosewood has for cat fight purposes?

Random Background Character Bonus!: It doesn't matter who this background artist is. All that matters is the awesome trench he's wearing. Couple that with his smart leather briefcase and we've found ourselves a fashionable Rosewood man.

I'm destroying the edge of my seat in anticipation for next week. Now that Jenna's been slapped, you know she's going to bring the crazy. Until then, friends!