It Happened That Night - Part 3 of 3 - The Leftovers

Emily should really take some tips from Pam. She sports the summer Hamptons look like she's a member of the Revenge cast.

Also winning points in the Most Stylish Mom category is Veronica. A little summer air has done her good! Lovin' her hair and red is totally her color. 

Sorry moms, time to check in on the boys. Garrett looks so much hotter in jail, right? That Justin Bieber hair is really working for him. 

And this suit is working for Wren. Although, he just shows up everywhere, doesn't he? I love that the PLL writers try to keep him on the show by inserting his "doctor" abilities anywhere that seems plausible. 

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Let's end on the best-dressed of all. IT'S MALE SHIRTLESSNESS TIME! After a near-season of drought, ABCFamily heard our pleas and gave us some eye candy. Let's just revel in Toby's perfect physique.

Alright, so there was only one example of male shirtlessness. But still, it's a start. We'll take what we can get.

If These Dolls Could Talk - 4 of 4 - Top Five Creepiest Moments

So, this episode was so over the top creepy that I had to share these moments with you. If you had been on the Twitter with Ann, Lauren and I on Monday, you would have seen our reactions to these. They were mostly "WTF!"

5. Melissa + Garrett K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Creepy because she's such a bitch and because he's so darn skeezy and stalkery. And they were both in Alison's room the night she was "killed"

4. SHE IS NOT ACTUALLY BLIND.

Girlfriend has magical lips, because moments before killing a fly and showing us she can totally see, Jenna was cleaning off her lipstick. So this is her natural lip colour? I can't wait for this girl to make bitchfaces.

3. Payment in creepy lollipops

This kid is straight up Damian, Children of the Corn, Flowers in the Attic creepy. His only payment from A for being so creepy to the Liars? A giant creepy lollipop. My guess is that he grows up to be a serial killer. Or an A.

2. The Doll Hospital

For so many reasons. Not just the flower in the attic kid who peers out the window at the Liars.

1. The Murdered Little Liar Doll.

You're trying to avoid nightmares after this doll talks to you (if only I knew how to make a gif of the creepiness!). A, you have gone too far - because now I'm scared to watch with the lights out. Also, I don't expect that Murdered Little Liar Doll will be a hit during the holidays.

It's no wonder it garnered the following reactions.

Although, nice jacket, Ems. You may veer towards boring, but you always bring it with the leather jackets. And I know you're kind of fearing for your life and all, but I'd like to take a moment to say cute t-shirt.

Yeah, that would be the reactions your YKYLF staffers had on the Twitter on Monday. Sheer terror thanks to one seriously creepy doll.

And with that, let the countdown begin to A-Day and getting the pants scared off of us. Shit's about to get real. Because as Ali would say:

Breaking the Code - Part 1 of 3 - R U A?

Much like Kate last week, I was so caught up in the dramz that I didn't notice a lot of the fashion until a second viewing. Now, that's some SERIOUS DRAMZ because I didn't notice several NOTABLE FASHION PIECES this week, but we'll get into that in a bit.
So, this week on THE SCARIEST SHOW ON TV: Mona's being harassed by A (or is she secretly A and pretending to be harassed?) which brings her closer to Hanna. Emily is sad Maya's gone MIA (or is she secretly A?) which brings her closer to Crazy Paige. Aria comes clean to her friends about Ezra (IS HE A?) and then he totally dumps her. Spencer gets drunk and makes a pass at Cute Wren (IS HE A??) and then goes off to possibly be killed by Melissa (WHO IS PROBABLY A!!). Oh, and Ashley and Ella form the beginnings of Pretty Little Liars, Sr., as they finally notice their daughters have been stalked/harassed for like 10 years now.

This week brings the usual amount of creeptastic "A" suspects, starting with Skeezy Garrett and his M&Ms of doooooom:

Remember Ian and his creepy breakfast foods habit? The milk glass of doom? Did the NAT club sit around like ANTM contestants, practicing their best angles for creepy stalker eating/drinking?

Flashback Melissa is like, "Am I late for NAT snacktime? Dammit, I was really craving M&MS."

Cute outfit/terrifying body language. Have we seen Spencer wearing that belt? Maybe Melissa turned into "A" because she got fed up with Spencer borrowing her prepster accessories. Anyway, this screencap is creepy as anything, so I don't blame the PLLS for being like: 

Melissa is straight up creepy, you guys. I have serious concerns about Spencer leaving with her at the end of the episode.

And not just because she's wearing a matching skirt and scarf. Or is it all one thing? A shirtscarf? Either way, it's straight up fug and she can't blame pregnancy hormones because SHE'S TOTALLY EVIL.

Mona may not be totally evil, but she's totally suspicious this week. Why would A suddenly begin picking on her, unless she's secretly in league with A and trying to gain Hanna's trust? Anyway, her first outfit was That's So Mona:

Weirdly fitting green camo skirt with one of Spencer's preppy belts and one of Ashley's silk blouses? That's So Mona!

Trying to decide between fug...

... and fuglier?

That's So Mona!

That's also the ugliest dress ever. I don't blame Hanna for being like, "Whatevs, they're both cute," because Mona needs a military-scale fashion intervention to save her style. Hanna has more important things to do than try and talk some sense into the girl considers this drapery nightmare any sort of option.

The more freaked out Mona gets about A, the curlier her hair gets and the weirder her outfits become. She was in full-on 80s drag the next day at school...

To be fair, so was everybody else. Clearly it was Messed Up 80s Cocktail Dress Day at Rosewood, but we'll get into that in Part 2. And 3. (OH MY GOD ARIA)

Emily had the (welcome?) return of her former psycho stalker/bully/closeted girlfriend, Crazy Paige!

Paige looks SO much cuter with her bob grown out. Her low-key outfit complements Emily's laidback style. I don't know if I'm shipping Em/Paige because Maya was so creepy last week, or if it's because Paige was so cute this week. But Crazy Eyes pulled out all the stops to woo her gay mentor. Too bad about that unfortunately-timed kiss, though.

Speaking of awkward moments, Spencer gave Aria a run for her money by going after her own older man.

Hey, at least we know this guy's not A, right? 

OK, OK, so Spencer actually put the moves on Dr. Wren, bringing us as close as possible to gratuitous male shirtlessness this week.

He's so cute, you guys. I mean, look how happy he is getting hit on by Drunk!Spencer (but what human being wouldn't have a grin like that if they were in his position?)

Remember she's like, 16 or something, bro. #jailbait

I'm glad Wren brought the cuteness this week, because it was not a very stylish week for the menfolk. Ezra, you broke Aria's heart; then you wear a jacket with patches on the elbows? 

Aria, sweetie? You're better off without him. Seriously. Elbow patches? On a khaki Members Only-ish jacket? Really? I'm horrified not only that he's wearing that, but that someone sewed that, and a store sold it. Ultimately, however, Ezra was the one to purchase it, which tells you everything you need to know about his taste.

Holden can do martial arts, Aria! And he would never wear a jacket like this. #justsayin

The Blonde Leading the Blind - Part 1 of 2 - Pretty Little Guy-iars

This week on The Love Lives Of Girls With Perfect Hair, we learned more about the NAT Club (i.e. that they, plus Jenna, were in Alison's room the night she was killed); and after Caleb got too close, Hanna ordered him to stop helping them. But then he secretly keeps helping them, but only Aria, Spencer and Emily know. Anyway, Caleb's basically the only love interest any of the girls have left, now that A's set his/her sights on their love lives - making Spencer break up with Toby after he fell off of scaffolding and broke his arm. Wait, I think Aria and Ezra may still be together. I don't know, the show didn't make a big deal out of that plotline or anything. (RAIN KISSING!) In other news: cutie Holden has a secret, but the PLLs are all too busy with the normal secrets to even care about investigating what he's up to.

So, this week's episode may have been devoid of the Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness we've come to expect, but it did come with some very interesting t-shirts, courtesy of the newest member of the PLLs, Caleb:

He's wearing the BERLIN WALL BEING TORN DOWN on his shirt. Caleb fronts like he's all effortlessly cool, but I doubt Rosewood's selling those off the rack. Dude spends his off-time (i.e. when not decrypting cell phones) sourcing out amazeballs tees like this one. (Want one? I tracked it down at Altru Apparel)

Caleb is basically a Pretty Little Liar now that he's been told a little (but not everything) about Alison's murder. He also has really pretty hair *and* he was vaguely threatened by Garrett on the street. And his t-shirt choices are, frankly, more interesting than Emily's. Check this one, with the NYC skyline:

I couldn't source this one for you guys, proving that Caleb is as skilled at online shopping as he is at decrypting cell phone videos. Anyway, Caleb has been promoted up from the ranks of boyfriends to being a Associate Member of the PLLs. Caleb : Pretty Little Liars :: Logan Bruno : Babysitters Club.

Since Ian's dead (OR IS HE? Oh, wait, yeah he totally is, we saw the body. Never mind...) Garrett is lurking around, picking up his slack in eating/drinking things in a weirdly creepy way. Check out how he sips his cappuccino here:

Yeah, not really as creepy as Ian's milk slurp, but getting there. His laidback look is unassuming - plain grey tee, military-style khaki jacket. Wait, haven't I seen that jacket somewhere before?

Are khaki military-inspired jackets part of the NAT Club uniform? Or did Garrett get Ian's hand-me-down?

And seriously, how can they show these NAT Club videos and not give us some Jason DiLaurentis? You know, hanging out, shirtless and broody... I miss that guy.

Aaaand moving on from the Rosewood Perv Posse, there actually are some sweet guys left in town. Some of them just moved to town, like the mysterious and adorable Holden:

He's got shaggy hair like Toby, nerdy charm like Lucas, chiselled good looks like Toby, and a bookish hipster thing like Ezra. I'll need to see his abs before I can fully compare him to Jason, but he's totally winning me over.

His mysterious secret will have to wait, though. Like the rest of the PLLs, I've got more pressing concerns to obsess over. Such as... who broke the scaffolding that broke poor Toby's arm?

And where did he get that gorgeous shearling-lined jacket? And how did he think it was a good idea to pair it with the nautical-striped v-neck?

And how is his chin dimple possibly that defined? His chin dimple has a chin dimple.

Also, I like his hair right now:

This week saw the re-emergence of Noel Kahn and his creepy, douchetastic ways. Remember when Aria was kinda thinking about dating him? That was a close call. Noel Kahn is THE WORST.

His outfit is OK, sure. That bag is actually kinda cute, and I like how he's matched the purple plaid with the grey tee. But he made Mona CRY, y'all.

And also? His friend is wearing a cardigan as a shirt:

Cardigans are not shirts, therefore, douche-by-association.

In case I haven't made my point:

Meanwhile, Ezra has clearly been keeping up with Revenge (!!!) as he takes inspiration from Daniel's rain-soaked proposal to sweep Aria into a romantic rainy kiss.

First, though, he shows up looking the most handsome he's ever looked (maybe slo-mo makes everybody look super handsome?):

And then he's like, "You're still 16 or something, so I can't propose to you without looking super-creepy, but Daniel Grayson said kissing you in the rain might make the whole internet fall into a swooning heap of squee, so..."

... yeah. Total internet swoon.

Over My Dead Body - Part 2 of 2 - Hey there, Pretty Eyes!

So, basically, anybody on this show could be A, right? Literally ANYBODY. Because that clue the waitress gives about "pretty eyes" could work for just about anyone.

Let's work through this week's suspects, shall we?

Exhibit A (ahem, pardon the pun): Alison herself!

She may or may not have been a hallucination that appeared to Emily after the incident with the car and the gas in the garage. She was wearing a pretty un-Alison sort of outfit, with boots, jeans and a pretty tank. Usually she's all Sookie'd out in sundresses and things, but this outfit is fairly practical.

Does that mean Emily was dreaming of Alison dressing like her, or does it mean that Alison has started wearing pants? Who knows?

Eyes: Pretty. Other clues? Has name beginning with the letter A. Possible obstacle to being A? She is dead. (... OR IS SHE?)

Exhibit B: Maya!

The world's oldest teenager reappeared again this week, to tell Emily that she wants to just be friends for the time being. I don't know how convincing that argument is when you're wearing a see-through shirt with a visible black bra.

Eyes: Pretty. Other clues? Was she really off at Bible camp this whole time, or was she lurking around being A? Possible obstacle to being A: she has real feelings for Emily, and I can't imagine her wrecking Emily's swim team career with steroids.

Exhibit C: Jackie!

Ezra's ex is behaving like a crazy person, trying to get him back by whatever means necessary. And she thought nobody would notice her plagiarized French paper? Has she met Detective Spencer Hastings?

This meh purple top and meh jeans really are no competition for Aria's wackadoo wardrobe. If you're trying to steal a guy from a girl with 10-tonne earrings, I think you need to step it up in the style department.

Eyes? Meh. Other clues? Meh. Obstacles to being A? She'd be messing with Aria way more if she was A. Aria's really come out unscathed, for the most part, by A's schemes.

Exhibit D: Jason!

Alison's (and maybe Spencer's?) hottie ex-underwear model debuted a shorter 'do this week that made him look kind of like he wandered in from the set of a 2004 episode of One Tree Hill.

I mean, he looks cute, but less cute. Somehow. I think he may need to go shorter, or something. Or take off his shirt...yeah...he needs to just take off his shirt. 

Eyes: Pretty-ish. Other clues: General stalkerishness, mysterious goings-on in his house. Obstacles to being A: if he was A, he could force Aria to break up with Ezra to be with him. Which hasn't happened. Also, he seems kinda nice.

Exhibit E: Ezra!

Aria's boyfriend/ex-teacher may seem squeaky clean, but he did show up in Rosewood at the same time that A started stalking the girls. He used to wear suits and vests as a high school teacher, but now is a jeans-wearing college professor.

Looks more like a college student than a professor, but whatevs. Eyes? Pretty. Other clues? See above re: appeared in Rosewood at the same time that A began creeping. Aria gets less hassles than the other PLLs, indicating A may like her best. Obstacles to being A? The show's writers would be massacred by angry Ezria fans if it turns out their entire relationship was a lie.

Exhibit F: Toby

Spencer's (ex-)BF casually mentioned that his brake lines were cut, as if that wasn't OBVIOUSLY the work of somebody out to get him. And then he weirdly starts wondering, out of nowhere, what their babies would look like? I'm a fan of Toby's usually, but he was weirdly creepy this week.

And on top of that, he wore this out-of-character and wildly unattractive purple button-down shirt to visit Spencer in jail. 

Eyes: Pretty. Other clues: Weird behaviour this week. Befriended first Emily, then Spencer, indicating a need to get close to the PLLs one way or another. May blame them for sending him to jail over The Jenna Thing. Obstacles to being A: Wants to rebuild his reputation after being accused of killing Ali, so why would he mess that up through psychological warfare with the PLLs?

Exhibit G: Garrett and Jenna.

This is an obvious choice, after their scene this week where they seemed to be confessing to something... but what? Killing Ali? Placing the anonymous call that trapped the PLLs with the shovel? These two are either A, working for A, working with A, Ali's killers, or just two deeply creepy people.

And Garrett, for the first time, looked kind of hot to me this week. Maybe it's because we now know he's truly, truly evil and only became a cop for nefarious reasons?

And I'd like to mention because I haven't yet, that Garrett used to be on a Canadian/Australian sci-fi teen soap called Guinevere Jones playing the reincarnation of Lancelot. And I still harbor some resentment towards him for stealing the reincarnation of Guinevere from the reincarnation of Arthur. Basically, I always knew he was up to no good, so this week's reveal wasn't that big a surprise. 

Oh, and Jenna still has the prettiest hair of any blind girl on TV. And a fabulous sense of style for someone who can't see what she's putting on in the morning. Does Toby help her pick out her outfits? Or are they somehow done up with Braille?

Eyes: Garrett - pretty. Jenna - covered in sunglasses and scarred (or are they??). Other clues? EVERYTHING. Obstacles to being A: they seem like an obvious choice now, and the show wouldn't be that obvious. (...OR WOULD IT?)

Wildcards:

Any of these tertiary characters could be A, but that would just be weird.

Officer McCreepy!

He's baaack! Remember him? He's the police officer who was obsessed with proving the PLLs killed Ali, and then started sleeping with Hanna's Mom until he disappeared off the show for basically an entire season. Remember him? I only do because I recapped the pilot a few months ago.

Ashley is like, "Ugh, I had forgotten about him too. Please don't let us have any scenes together."

Dr. Wren!

He has pretty eyes! He behaves inappropriately and has reasons for wanting Spencer to break up with Toby. Plus, his British accent could be construed as being somewhat evil, in a James Bond villain sort of way.

Isabelle!

OK, there's basically no way that she's A, but I wanted to include this picture of her in her wedding dress that Hanna puked on last week. Yay for dry-cleaning! [I thought Tom (maybe? or someone else) said that they had cleaned Isabelle's dress...but this isnt the same one from last week...plot continuity mistake? --Ed. Kate]

Caleb!

He has pretty eyes (and a pretty everything else) but I'm pretty sure he isn't A for the same reasons that I've excluded Ezra and Toby. The fans would FREAK! OUT! if any of these boys were shown to be A. And the psychological manipulation A uses seems like it would come from a girl, somehow.

And Caleb got his hair cut this week too, I think. Like Jason, it wasn't a good decision and I hope he takes lots of vitamins to grow it back out to mid-90s Jordan Catalano lengths ASAP. And then takes off his shirt. Call me!

And I will see you bitches for the Halloween special, which CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH! - A