Part 2 of 2: Ballad of a Teenage Queen
With the brains of the operation missing and presumed batshit crazy, the other PLLs take some time to tend their own gardens. Let’s not forget that aside from a murderous stalker who’s out to ruin their lives, the girls have to deal with covering up murders, dating former teachers, and whatever they decide to throw at Emily.
These are some pretty classic schoolday looks for our girls. Naturally, Emily is the most real with these cranberry pants. I’m a little surprised with Hannah since it looks like she took two plausible looks and decided they needed to be layered in a fashion only stereotypical gypsies from horror movies would appreciate. The coral maxi with the coral bag is a lovely pairing, though.
Now, y’all know my distaste for studded anything. Let me clarify that it’s not a universal distaste, I enjoy the idea when it’s pulled off right. Aria’s opinion is a little different than mine in that she wants to stud every piece of fabric that’s in her sightline. Cuffs and shoulder stud patches? We get it – you’re fashion forward and edgy.
The girls split up to locate Spencer, and I was stunned to see that Emily made a costume change. Usually she wears an outfit until it seems like part of her skin, but not this week! A military inspired vest and denim mini are totes perfect for reconnaissance — utilitarian and yet cute enough to keep your flirt on. Nice work, Fields.
I was less enthused about her awful metallic pants when she met Olympian Missy Franklin, but you can’t win ‘em all with Emily. For yet another US Olympian cameo on a teen show (flashback to Lochte on 90210), I’m happy they didn’t arrange for Emily to meet Missy at a pool where she could pop out of the water in a patriotic swimsuit. Don’t forget they’re people as well as elite athletes that (unintentionally) intimidating in real life!
Since only Emily is shown searching for Spencer, I have to assume that Hannah went home, ate a carrot stick and was all, “...she’s not in the fridge”. Freeing up some time, Hannah plays matchmaker with Ashley and Ted, forcing a coffee date Ashley does not want to have. At least, not with Wilden’s ghost hanging over her head. Or is it?
Yeah, Wilden is back. Again. And the most stylish mother/daughter team in Rosewood finds out just when Ted is laying down the flirt with Ashley. I am so down with Hannah’s blue coat I’m scraping my nose on the sidewalk. And I think Ashley should adopt the Posh Spice rule of thumb when it comes to dressing: always go for the little Gucci dress.
Aria’s problems always seem a little more melodramatic compared to the rest of the group. So your older boyfriend who just found out he’s a father needs a job? Right. Totally more pressing than a cop your mom may have rundown with her car comes back from the dead. This skull print is so Aria and it’s nice to see a bright-ish colour on her. Other than that, I have no real love for this look. Despite being a print, it feels a little plain to me.
Ezra Fitz, you are as handsome as ever. I’d say never change but I wouldn’t mind seeing you in something completely uncharacteristic. Like, a tank top and denim cutoffs. Or topless. It’s your choice, dude.
Oh look, two parents scheming to potentially break up their daughter’s relationship. How fresh in a teen-focused drama! No news here as Byron looks like an English professor, and Ella looks like a sassy mom. I like the tone of her blue top, but I’m taking points away because I know she’s wearing those damn boots again. GIRL. You’ve had them since the first season – branch out and get whatever semblance of a groove you had back!
Now, I’m about to show the two best looks from this episode which we only see for just over a minute. First up, Hannah in this amazing floral number, complete with Bea Arthur necklace. The colour of the pattern is absolutely beautiful and even though it’s a flowing fabric, it seems to suit Hannah’s figure. This is so current and lovely, I’m practically seething it’s not in my own closet.
And after a misstep with her skull blouse, Aria reminds the world that she knows her way around a closet. I’m loving her hair in this scene — less bounce, more sleek. But really, we should be focusing on her bow-tie clip, sparkling belt, and sickening top. Aside from costume gowns, this might be the most expensive looking outfit we’ve seen on Aria, and she carries it off perfectly. Not only is it stylish and current like Hannah’s, but it’s an outfit that I can legitimately see a teenage girl, or a mid-20s woman like Lucy Hale wearing. I hope the wardrobe folks at ABC Family are as distraught as I am over these two looks getting the brush off.
Compare the last two looks with what Hannah and Aria are wearing here: you get my point, right? It’s almost like they’re trying too hard to be trendy with the studs and the prints and the industrial jewelry and the bizarre heels and... are those Doc Martens? Separately, all of these pieces would be unstoppable, but throwing them together in a bathroom mélange takes away from their style.
Do you think anyone uses that bathroom other than the PLLs and Mona? I bet the rest of the school is all, “Oh, you can’t go in there. That’s where those girls who dress everyday like they’re going to be spotted by The Sartorialist go. We hear it’s full of secrets and lookbooks disguised as paper towel dispensers.”
Remember Aria’s studded shoulder patches on her coat? Hannah was clearly taken with the idea because now her cardigan can also double as a medieval weapon of choice.
I saved this photo of Aria for last because I am in love with that necklace. Her Diane von Furstenberg dress is pretty interesting since it may actually be a collection black doilies sewn together, but it’s all about those costume jewels for me. I can’t believe she was hiding this under that leopard coat I’ve only ever seen on drag queens. Aria, just when I count you out you pull me back in.
I refuse to believe this season is almost over considering (as I said) there are so. many. QUESTIONS. Let’s be real, we all know a serious cliffhanger is coming, I’m just getting really impatient. My predictions for next week? Less animal print and more leather. I just have a feeling.