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Friday
Mar212014

Pretty Little Liars: A is for Answers

Part 1 of 3: A is for Almost Sorta Maybe Answers

FINALLY. THE EPISODE WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. Promises of answers, reveals and a whole lot of dramz. Unfortunately, we've all been through this before and when PLL promises answers, well...it just means twice as many questions. But no matter, we'll take what we can get. We find out that CeCe and Mrs. DiLaurentis are defs in cahoots, Melissa knows who killed the girl in the grave and oh, A does us all a favor and shoots Ezra. Ali finally reveals what happened the night of her "murder," which exonerates a guilt-ridden Spencer and incriminates Mrs. DiLaurentis who we find out BURIED HER DAUGHTER ALIVE. And on top of that, the girls don't even get ONE costume change. Ugh, and we thought it couldn't get any worse...

 

Just to refresh you all, we ended the last episode in true PLL fashion with a cliffhanger: "What are YOU doing here?"

 

To which, we're answered in true PLL fashion with a secondary character we could absolutely care less about:

GODDAMNIT NOEL KAHN! DIDN'T WE GET RID OF YOU LAST SEASON?! (and the season before that, and the season before that) Also, Noel, stop with the denim on denim. You're not Kanye.

Does anyone even remember who this guy is except for the fact that he's dated basically ever single girl on this show? (Don't believe me? Count 'em: Aria, Jenna, Mona, Shauna)

 

Looks like we all probably could've taken a bathroom break during the first 5 minutes, because Noel finally leaves and gives us the real reveal:

Considering Ali's hair and makeup both look fantastic, it seems a little odd to stop short at her wardrobe. Sure, she's in hiding but hasn't she been in hiding for the ENTIRE SHOW??? Therefore, what's with the drab oversized jacket, Ali???

 

Ignoring the fact that Ali seriously does NOT deserve to be hugged (let's not forget their lives have been ruined and tortured because of her very existence), we let her have her moment with the girls but most importantly with Emily, who seems to have forgotten all about her lesbian ex-lover, Paige.

That's a tight grip there, Emily.

Ali promises to reveal what really happened the night she "died," and if they don't figure out who A is that night, she has to leave...again. Which means, season 5 is basically just going to be like season 1 all over again. Please, Dear God, no.

 

We return to Rosewood where Officer Holbrook has rounded up every potential suspect that could know about Alison and the Girls, including our favorite on-and-off secondary character, CeCe Drake.

Oh my God, CeCe, I love your shirt! Where did you get it???

 

This is the ugliest f-ing top I've ever seen.

(Also, it is EXTREMELY important to note that she is not wearing one lick of makeup, which is basically like not breathing air for Rosewood.)

 

Luckily for her, she didn't actually pick out her own top. THIS IS THE SAME TOP ASHLEY MARIN FINDS IN ALI'S ROOM IN LAST WEEK'S EPISODE.

REVEAL #1: CECE WAS (MOST LIKELY) THE GIRL IN THE WOODS WHOM JESSICA DROPPED OFF THE BAG OF CLOTHES FOR.

Wait, is this why CeCe's clothes are so terrible?

 

Fortunately for us, Officer Holbrook most definitely does not have a WASP-y mom dropping off clothes for him in the woods.

Sure, he might only speak exclusively on one side of his mouth, but when he wears a suit, DAMN does he wear a suit!

 

We're back to Ali starting from the beginning. The VERY beginning. HILTON HEAD beginning.

Like THIS GUY beginning.

Seriously, if they replaced this actor (like they did Toby), I probably wouldn't have even batted an eyelash.

 

It's revealed that Melissa goes down to Hilton Head to confront Ian on his affair with Ali.

I've always kind of been up-and-down with Melissa's wardrobe. Sometimes, she really nails it and sometimes I feel like she throws on a massive belt or a patterned scarf and calls it a day.

 

Ali hears Ian belittle their relationship, which seems like the dumbest move ever considering Ali is a) probably a sociopath, b) definitely an emotionally unstable teenage girl and c) for damn sure in the NEXT ROOM.

I think Ali looks super cute in this flutter sleeve dress and I LOVE HER HAIR. #whatelseisnew

 

Is Ali going to stand for it? Nope! A la Spencer Hastings, Ali gets on Ian's not password-protected computer and steals all his NAT video files to blackmail whoever A is.

 

Which are pretty easy to find because they're in a folder called VIDEOS and every file is clearly labeled (i.e. JENNA & TOBY.mov). 

So convenient, thanks Ian!!! (Seriously, password-protect your shit, man)

Friday
Mar212014

Pretty Little Liars: A is for Answers

Part 2 of 3: You Can Never Turn Your Back on a Hastings

In present day, we're back at the Hastings home where the police are raiding the house and Melissa drops in for a surprise visit from London.

Melissa looks pretty amazing just getting off an international flight. That coat is perfection.

 

Also, patterned scarf (see: part 1 of 3 of this recap).

Just sayin'.

 

Back to Ali's flashbacks, we see Ali come home to the infamous yellow top picked out by her mom in the SAME DEPARTMENT STORE BAG as the one found by Ashley Marin. 

There are no coincidences in PLL except when there are a shit ton of coincidences. 

 

Ali is about to go out to meet the girls in Spencer's barn when she overhears her mother telling someone to "come immediately." 

I thought I couldn't despise Jessica's outfits any more than last time, but, she's really affirmed in me that anything is possible. Hate the paisley, the maroon cardigan and especially those man Dockers.

 

Ali finds her mom's stash of sleeping pills and takes a couple.

Oh, WHY you ask???

 

Obviously, to mix it with alcohol and DRUG HER FRIENDS.

Which, is precisely why, Ali DOES NOT DESERVE A HUG. 

REVEAL #2: ALI DRUGS HER FRIENDS TO ELIMINATE THEM FROM THE A LIST.

 

Ali texts Ian to meet her but instead finds our favorite pedofile, lying, fame-whore teacher stalking her outside her house:

Is his outfit even worth touching upon? Plaid shirt, henley, MOVING WAY THE EFF ON.

 

What IS worth touching upon is that Ezra is mad because he found out that Ali's not actually 21 but like 16 (or 15, or 14, not totally clear). The point is, she's illegal. End of story.

Sure, they "didn't do anything," (spelled out for all of us who feel like we're watching a Law and Order: SVU episode) but it's obvious Aria wasn't the first and probably isn't the last.

 

We finally find out how Ali and Ezra met, which basically entails lying about her age and a lot of Wikipedia-ing. So basically, a first date.

Ali's in a college bar and sees Ezra READING. Ignoring the fact that he's READING IN BAR, let's break down Ali's adorable outfit.

I love this white floral sequin top, lavender crossbody and subtle cocktail ring. For a high school student, she dresses better than most college students.

 

Clearly.

I'm pretty sure Ezra's wearing cargo pants, which is the worst thing to happen to teenage boys since cargo pants.

 

Back in present time, in the next interview room, Melissa throws on a meh purple blazer and tells the cops that the reason she came into town was because she bumped into Toby in London.

Hard to believe that in one of the most populated cities in the WORLD, she just happened to bump into Toby. But we're going to let it go because for PLL, this scores like a 3/10 for incredulity. 

 

Out in the police lobby, we see Jessica, who is dressed pretty fiercely in a trench and a stick up her butt. 

 

Mr. Hastings asks Jessica in front of the entire bustling police station if they "still have an understanding."

Seriously, Peter? IN THE POLICE STATION?

How do the Hastings women put up with the idiotic men in their lives??? GET VERONICA BACK IN HERE.

 

From the Kissing Rock with Ian, Ali comes back to the barn and we finally find out what really happened with Spencer.

But more importantly, we get a closer view of that gorgeous yellow cluster cocktail ring. Love!

 

Spencer follows Ali out with a shovel, which just makes me think, why are there so many available shovels in this town???

Right before she's about to whack Ali, her amphetamines conveniently fall out of her pocket.

 

Ali, as a good friend, tells her to stop taking them and ESPECIALLY with alcohol.

While mixing sleeping pills with alcohol is totally fine and stuff.

 

REVEAL #3: SPENCER DID NOT HURT ALISON

YES, THANK THE LORD!!!

 

But seriously, so many shovels in this town.

 

Friday
Mar212014

Pretty Little Liars: A is for Answers

Part 3 of 3: "It's Beautiful."

After meeting Byron, Ali walks home to see her mom standing at the window. 

Honestly, I feel like Jessica DiLaurentis spends like 95% of her time in front of a window.

 

Ali gets hit in the head by a rock, which Jessica sees:

 

And then proceeds to do the following:

 

LIKE WTF??!?!

REVEAL #4: JESSICA DILAURENTIS BURIES HER DAUGHTER ALIVE.

WTF WTF WTF.

 

As expected, everyone's reactions to this are apropro:

 

Especially Emily's.

It looks like someone just told her they're out of soy milk.

 

Anyway, Ali is pulled up by Ms. Grunwald and taken to the hospital. She leaves the hospital (shouldn't she get that wound looked at or...?) and conveniently runs into Mona who is supposed to be nerdy but is just creepy as EFF.

 

What is there to say about her outfit? It's like the costume department thinks nerdy is just putting a bunch of knits, florals and plaid together.

It sure is creepy though.

 

Seriously, CREEPY.

REVEAL #5: IT WAS MONA'S IDEA TO KEEP ALISON DEAD.

 

After taking her to a hotel, Mona helps her escape Rosewood as Vivian Darkbloom.

Personally, I hate turtleneck sweaters with no sleeves. It's like cargo pants. Why would you warm your neck but not your arms??? And why would you wear cargo pants if you're not actually carrying any cargo? MAKES NO SENSE, EZRA.

 

Ali continues to spill the beans, telling the girls she was basically there every time they were in danger.

REVEAL #6: ALISON PUSHED IAN OFF THE BELL TOWER.

 

Back at the police station, Melissa tells Mr. Hastings that she knows who killed the girl in the grave. 

 

To, which, his response is:

REVEAL #7: MELISSA AND PETER KNOW WHO KILLED THE GIRL IN THE GRAVE.

But honestly, knowing this show, she probably said something like, "I left my curling iron on," and he would have made that same reaction.

 

Now that the flashbacks are over, we're conveniently interrupted by A him/herself.

Who is DOUBLE FISTING WEAPONS. 

 

Like, RELAX, Guy, they're still just a bunch of girls:

The girls run to the roof because, you know, running to higher ground where there is only one exit is totally smart.

 

But no worries! Because your neighborhood sex offender is here to save the day!

 

A shoots a gun, misses (I feel like I've given A a lot of credit until now because he's only like 5 feet away from them), drops his gun, to which Hanna's all, "SPRING BREAK FOREVER Y'ALL."

 

To which, A's all, "LOL."

 

Meanwhile, Ezra KNOWS who A is but basically stares at the skyline, saying asinine things like, "It's beautiful..." instead of, "HEY GUYS, A IS ______!"

 

Which means...

 

But WAIT A MINUTE. Can we roll back the tape, please?

Definitely A shot the gun above his head where the sparks are. So how did it manage to hit his lower torso? I guess we can file this next to Melissa Running Into Toby In London.

 

We can also file it next to How Ezra Knew They Were Actually In NYC and Not Philly This Whole Time:

 

So, Ezra might be dead (or not) just like our favorite WASP:

I guess this is what happens when you don't check to see if who you're burying is still breathing...

 

Sure, Ali might have revealed some heavy stuff but was it really necessary to hide all this information from the girls this whole time?? Could've saved them a lot of grief in the last couple years of being tortured/run over/assaulted. Because now the real questions are coming up. Like, how are Cece and Mrs. DiLaurentis connected? And who killed the girl in the grave? And how does Melissa know? And what did Spencer do that was so terrible? And where is Jason in all of this? And seriously, is that twin storyline happening anytime soon??

Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until Season 5 (or 6, 10, 26) until we get all the answers. Until then, let's celebrate the short demise of Ezra Fitz and pray real hard that the show doesn't last 30 seasons until we find out who A really is.

Wednesday
Mar192014

Pretty Little Liars: A is for Answers

It's the return of Noel Kahn! Kidding! Actually, a lot of characters — major and minor — return to Rosewood this week. Cece's been found by the cops, and has truths for Hot Cop about the girl in Ali's grave. Melissa makes a surprise trip home from England, just in time for the police to round the whole Hastings family up for questioning. But most importantly, Ali is back and she's got hugs and truths. We get a lot of flashbacks to the summer the shit went down, plus the last few seasons — like how Spencer didn't do it, how Ian survived his fall in the bell tower, that Ezra once thought sleeping with high schoolers is wrong, and Mrs. D buried her daughter alive. Then A shows up with a mask and a gun and shoots the only person who claims to know who he/she is: Ezra. Shit. And for a follow up, A goes and buries Mrs. D. I have no idea what's happening anymore, but I'm definitely looking forward to the next season. 

 

Drama-rama du jour

Ali's truthbombs aren't the only drama this week. The police are questioning the Hastings (whom you should never turn your back on), and Aria is still bringing up unresolved feels over her Ezra break up. His getting shot isn't going to help her with closure.

Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness
Too many truthbombs to fit in some shirtlessness. But fingers crossed that summer season means it gets up in there and the shirts come off. 

Best A Message
"Bitch can't see you, but I do. Tonight's the night I kill you. - A"  #ClassicA

Current A-Team Suspect
I literally have no idea anymore. All my suspects were shot, arrested or buried alive. 

 

Check back on Friday for Esther's full recap on the flashback fashion.

Saturday
Mar152014

Pretty Little Liars: Unbridled

Part 1 of 2: Going to the Chapel

Keeping up with the twists and turns in this plot is tough these days. Mrs. D is probably maybe A, but then again maybe not. Spence is cleaning up nicely — both in terms of kicking the drugs and getting back to her preppy ways. Being drug-free doesn't mean she's making smart life choices, which is why she went wandering through the woods in a wedding dress. Jason's back from rehab, except like everyone else in Rosewood, he's totally lying. Emily dumps Paige for being a supportive and caring girlfriend. Hot Cop is starting to think that Ali might be alive and wants to exhume Ali's coffin to figure out who's in there. Aria's still dealing the whole Ezra situation, and is mad at Ella for going to Europe, even though it was Aria's idea in ther first place. She gets over it when she learns coffee shop guy put a ring on it. And the girls are searching an abandoned restaurant for Ali, while A is off looking for CeCe. 

 

Can we all give praise to the return of a cleaned up Spencer? While her recurring Adderall habit makes for sometimes interesting, albeit delayed plot twists, it does not make for good fashion. So it's like a breath of preppy fresh air to see her hair shiny and her clothes pressed and buttoned up. 

Just look at that blazer! And the hair! It totally outshines Hanna's. But that's nothing compared to what she breaks out to head back to school. 

Remember when we lamented that she was looking like a broke down preppy mess? Well no more my friends! She is dialling up her WASP levels to normal Spencer Hastings standards with that band leader jacket. While I don't love that she paired it with that particular skirt, I think we can all stop to appreciate how much better this is than a pair of sweats and shower sandals. 

 

Although I fully question the sanity behind this sweater.

What's happening? I mean, the soft grey is lovely and appears to be a very expensive and soft fibre, like a special herd of alpacas or whatever creature cashmere comes from. But what I don't understand is the neck. Is it part of the sweater? Is it a scarf? Is it a neck warmer? And more importantly, why does it exist? It makes about as much sense as sleeveless turtlenecks from the late 90s/early 2000s. Aria's test pattern leggings, on the other hand, turn out to be one of her better looks this week. Not because of the leggings, but because of that damn fine quilted bomber jacket. Along with some of the most amazing hair. The jacket is doubly amazing if you compare it to some of her other outfits from this week.

 

For instance, her continued attempts to make fetch happen by bringing back the fashion of my youth. 

If she's so determined to bring grunge styles back, must she do it in a mullet dress that has ruffles? That does no one any favours. Although, if this is her way of missing Mr. Jane By Design and his gratuitious male shirtlessness, well, then I say amen to that! Let's bring him and his pecs back to town. Rosewood (and the YKYLF staff room) has been suffering lately.

 

And I'm honestly not sure what she's doing here.  

It's not the sheer Rorshach pattern top that confuses me, it's the necklaces. I love a good statement necklace, but the point of a statement necklace is that it gets to be the one that makes the statement. Aria is trying to wear three at once and they're all trying to shout over one another. Also, is anyone else worried that the weight of all her necklaces might tip her over one day? She's such a little person that she should be careful about how many weighty pieces she wears at onece. 

 

Her "at home to yell at mom for leaving town" look makes me think of Cher Horowitz. Aria clearly buys into Cher's philosophy to over accessorize and wear binding clothes during the day, but go for the serious comfy sweats at home. 

Because those are some seriously slouchy looking sweats. The off the shoulder look is a bit too Flashdancer for me, but considering it's probably been a long week (or three years) for Aria, I can sympathize with her choice in slouchy pants. We'd all be right there with her if we had to break up with our boyfriend for dating us to get material for his true crime novel and we'd be there with a glass of wine and pint of ice cream. 

 

Her mom also seems to be right there with her on the slouchy outfits.

Oh, wait. No. That's just what Ella wears at all time. She is the queen of soft jersey knits. A structured top wouldn't completley kill her would it? (Oh, who knows. It's Rosewood. Anything can kill you.)

 

Speaking of moms, there were actually three different parentals hanging around this week, which has to be some kind of Rosewood record. The winner of the mom fashion parade was Ashley, who almost always looks amazing, no matter how broke she and Hanna claim to be. 

Great colour, girlfriend.

 

And you look even nicer when you clean up for the random fundraiser of the week supporting A Good Cause That Allows Teens to Dress Up in Costume (I don't think any of the folks involved know what The Good Cause is. They just know it's a good reason for four girls to wear wedding dresses during their hijinks). 

 

Although it's probably a pre-requisite to be your most polished self when you're hanging with Mrs. D. Because that lady was a walking billboard for Land's End and Brooks Brothers this week. She dialled up the WASP hardcore this week. I mean, check it out.

 

Even her flashback self was going Full WASP when she broke out the Madras.

Somewhere a little polo pony got it's wings. Although that puffy blue thing Ali wears in flashbacks? I'd probably fake my death and go on the lam if my mom was buying me tops like that. 

 

The mom who tries the hardest, but never really hits the mark is Mrs. Hastings. Maybe because she's never in Rosewood, the costume department is all, "oh, just grab any cardigan and throw it on her." Because that would explain her poor attempt at preppy casual wear.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the belted Tory Burch cardigan and pencil skirt, but there certainly isn't anything overly right about it either. More colour maybe? A fun pattern? Something.

 

She almost has a bit of fun with her lawyer wear. This sparkly red jacket is total shades of The Good Wife. 

But I'm going on the record as hating the broad shouldered zip up lawyer jacket. 

 

Also attempting a sparkly jacket and failing hard is Hanna.

Did she get that jacket from Liberace's estate sale? Also, that many sequins seem inconvenient for a school day. Wouldn't they catch on her backpack?

 

However, she's committed to the crazy jacket this week, and I will give her props for sticking with the theme by going for a paisley moto jacket with leather sleeves. 

I should hate it because paisley moto seems like it should be an oxymoron, yet somehow it works. 

 

Emily breaks out another from her collection of great leather jackets, but pushes the boundries of good taste with her mini denim. 

We're half an inch from spotting her macaron. 

 

The dudes of Rosewood continue to underwhelm sartorially.

Like, if you're going to leave your shirts on, can you at least wear interesting shirts? It's all t-shirts with a casual jacket or button down on top, all the time.

 

Sober Buddy Dean had the perfect opportunity to gratuitously and inappropriately go shirtless during this episode.

But no. Just another t-shirt. Also, totally grounds for Mrs. Hastings to lose her shit. 

 

Even Hot Cop could try harder with his business wear.

I don't know. An interesting jacket? A great tie, maybe? Something. Either try harder or pretend to solve crimes without your shirt on. I don't think we're being unreasonable.