Part 1 of 3: Stylish Spy Work at School
After watching this episode, I’d like to demand that I. Marlene King direct every episode. Even if my anxiety goes through the roof. Girl, there was more alliance wavering this week than an episode of Big Brother! Spencer pulled off her best A impression to determine if Toby was really for reals dead. Turns out he’s really for reals alive! Aria and Ezra have a fairly subdued break-up (honestly expected more dramz) only to end up in class together — again. Emily and Hanna pulled off some detective work with Emily finding Melissa and Shana scheming with Jenna, while Hanna plays the most awkward babysitter game ever, "Find Your Kidnapper". The Liars confront Spencer about her new A-Team affiliation, she lets them in on Toby’s living status, they all scheme to double-cross Mona at the mountain lodge meant for Spencer’s return to society soiree. Yet somehow, Red Coat is still one step ahead and it seems everyone, including Mona, is in their crosshairs. Friends, this is how you do a cliffhanger.
I’ve always said these breakfast meetings are missing one thing — SHADE. Week after week, they all meet at Spencer’s before heading to school and not once do they shade each other’s outfits! It’s all “A this” and “homicide that”. I don’t know about y’all, but I’d love to see some cattiness between the girls.
They’re serving pretty standard fare, too. Emily in a graphic tee, Aria and Hanna in stylish tops. But we need to talk about those statements. I’m a big fan of the simple, industrial clothespin style Hanna has (courtesy of Anthropologie), but I’m shocked Aria can sit upright with that anchoring embellishment. I tried to think of a word more grand than embellishment and came up with, “DAMN GIRL”.
Girlfriend is out of Radley and her locks are back on the bounce patrol! Of course Spencer makes a dramatic staircase entrance in her own home. PLL is known for a lot of classic/horror movie references and this was so “Sunset Boulevard” I almost choked. You know I don’t love an elaborate belt, but this look is ridiculously chic and I want it. I chuckled a little seeing Spencer in a Rorschach Test inspired dress but then again, I’m hyper analytical and nerdy.
After Spencer mentions the “Welcome Back to Society/Our Daughter Is Not Socially Disturbed” gala being thrown by her parents, the Liars head off to school only to run into this B:
Don’t get me wrong, I love a strong, flirtatious female, but Shana's just obnoxious. Naturally, she pitches a little woo to Spencer because that’s how Shana do and if you ain’t feeling that, then step down. Mhmm, I believe that “Red Devils” patch you got there.
Hanna’s not feeling Shana either, but only because she’s never on the flirtation radar. Girl, there’s a Sex & The City episode starring Charlotte you need to educate yourself on, OK? As for the look, I love a pink jewel tone top, but the stitching on the jacket needs to go. If you want tassels like Britney on her “Circus” tour, then just go full showgirl, honey. Otherwise, you’re reppin’ a late 90s look that should have never left the sketchpad. Cute H&M necklace though!
Ah yes, the object of Shana’s affections, Spencer Hastings. Be honest, any one of you would hit on her in that outfit, right? I don’t know many high-school girls who can flawlessly combine English “Country Life” style with haute equestrian. And the western tie peeping through? Where were you when The Killers were popular?!?
Emily (or Shay Mi according to those pesky titles), looks about as fired up as I was to see Shana. I find Emily’s style gradually evolving from the Flashdance-inspired wardrobe we’ve gotten used to. It ain’t no secret Shay Mitchell is GORGEOUS with a capital “I’m in love with you”, so it’s high time they dressed her up! I could do with less earth tones, but that scarf/jacket combo is classic and hard to argue with.
This week, Jenna sauntered back into our lives... sort of. I mean, she’s there and everything, but her model walk looked a little janky. I can’t blame her when you look at those torture chambers they’re calling heels, though. Seriously, they’re like one inch away from a ballerina en pointe and I have mad respect for anyone attempts them.
Also, I’m dying over this flowing Sparkle & Fade dress and the simple chain. Jenna’s always slightly more adult than the Liars.
But why was she in the woods? Oh no bigs, just meeting her apparent secret lovebug Shana. WTFbombs galore, y’all. Since when did they slip into cahoots with each and start exchanging “you complete me” gazes? One thing is clear: they both have remarkably different tastes in blazers. Jenna’s simple black with leather lapels and leopard lining is pummeling Shana’s Golden Girls style. Honey, who told you it was acceptable to wear a silver lame blazer in broad daylight? How many schoolchildren did you blind on your way to this rendezvous?
You may be wondering where Aria got to, but don’t worry, I didn’t forget her! How could I with those BDG leggings? Friends, I am more than down for a crazy print, but the number one rule is do not plaster it all over your legs. Do you want to look like a piñata that escape a barbecue? I lived for her acid wash denim jacket with hilarious tiger patch, and I would totally buy that cute Wildfox Couture diamond tank, but from the waist down Aria looks a fine mess.
And then there’s Ezra who continues to pair printed ties with plaid shirts as if he didn’t get the dozens of letters I mailed asking him to stop. He’s lucky he’s devastatingly hot. Our boy has run into some work troubles and needs to get back into teaching, which will totally put an end to their romance. But Aria (shockingly) sticks to her guns and breaks up with Fitz. Again. Or reminds him of it? These two are so Shakespearean.
Anyone else think it’s cutes patoots that Malcolm and Hanna have similar hairstyles? ‘Cause I do! This is just a repeat of her school outfit, but you have to appreciate Hanna’s moxie for using a 7-year old as a lead in their A games.
Emily pulls out some classic threads for her late night run, but something’s caught her eye. It’s night in Rosewood, so obviously it’s going to be suspicious and game changing.
Oh, it’s just Melissa Hastings look fine as hell in that beautiful coat!
That cropped cut was the best thing that ever happened to her... though I doubt it dulls the pain of having a fiance murdered. Whatevs, she’s up to something because that house? Yeah, it’s Jenna’s.