Part 1 of 2: Sorry, Who’s “A”, Again?
Give yourself a pat on the back — you made it to the end. Along the way we shared some laughs, some tears, some blinding rage and, at least on my end, about 57 bottles of wine. I’ll be honest, I lost sight of the end goal at certain points of the journey but we relied on each other for support in those dark times; what the hell even happened with Ravenswood? CeCe Drake is A — it’s here and it’s real. Granted there are some gaping plot holes and several of the “answers” feel a little too convenient but you know what? I DON'T CARE. Did you want this A bullshit to continue for another season? Did you want to spend another year of your life sweating who was behind the damn mask? NO. Girl, I’m 30 years old – it needed to stop before I literally become Ashley Marin and begin my collection of silk blouses. I took that Buzzfeed quiz and I’m like one box of wine away from that truth.
We left the Liars at Barn Prom 2K15 and open on the same scene — only now there’s a mystical trap door that appears to lead them right onto the Carrisimi Group property. (I know they drove there but that editing job.) Everyone is still serving their sickening prom looks and are joined by Mona, who’s on the case in a red robe and dress. It’s cute. Here’s a candid photo I snapped of them breaking into A’s secret HQ.
Once again, there’s another trap door that reveals CommAnd Central, and as the Liars stroll in without a damn care, Sara hangs back because she’s claustrophobic. I’d argue it’s because she doesn’t want to be in close proximity to everyone’s stunning prom looks while she’s wearing something Nana definitely sported during happy hour in Miami Beach, 1981. How did no one think this was suspicious? “Oh, you’ve presumably found the answer to the riddle that’s literally ruined our lives for 5 years? LMK HOW IT GOES BYE.”
Now, if you didn’t already suspend most of your belief in reality as a fan of Pretty Little Liars, here’s where that mental exercise is going to coming in miiiiiighty handy. That final trap door reveals a room that’s straight up fictional science, complete with an starship console and holographic, plasma screen which just starts floating in the room like it’s totally normal and not a stunt to bring back Tupac for an “impromptu” collab. Join us next season when Tom Cruise guest stars as a crooked cop in Minority Report: Cold CAse Files: DiLAurentis Edition, She Wrote.
And once you’ve accepted this ethereal portal into another world as a genuine item not stopping the girls in their tracks to reflect upon the wondrously advanced technological age we live in, you get to learn that A has been…
CeCe Fucking Drake. And you besta believa she pulled out the tightliner trick for this reveal.
Yes, after all the speculation it turns out that CeCe transitioned at young age, lived her life with the name Charlotte and abandoned that once the A Game took over, gifting the world with CeCe. There’s a TON of exposition and plot filling that happens on a Passions-like level after the reveal, but the biggest surprise that Red Coat and Black Widow were actually…
Sara? New girl in town, Sara? The character that’s been in my life for a hot minute and barely offered me an opportunity to like her?
Oh, right, one more thing — Bethany is legit deceased and Mona’s the real culprit, but it’s turns out lil ol’ Bets is the one that sqaushed Mrs. Cavanaugh with a sharp shove off Radley roof. The real crime Bethany should have been locked up for was owning that sweater and not using it for kindling. I know the 90s were a dark time for everyone, but even sociopaths can has taste.
Speaking of taste, what’s the deal with DiLaurentii and the color yellow? It takes a special kind of person to acceptably pull it off, and I’m not here for this shitty cardigan. I bet she turned that into a shrug later in the day for a "casual look." I say we shrug that trend off this history books and forget that boob hammocks were a serious style.
Maybe CeCe just needed some time away because this tbt in the coral/orange print with complementary geometric necklace is something I can be present for. Three snaps down boots, gal!
Speaking of TBTs, let’s enjoy this PLLers throwback as well. They were not feeling CeCe. I’m not even getting into the whole, “You sound just like our friend Ali” insanity because I have functioning ears and those two women sound nothing like each other. Second side-note: Aria, so glad you got rid of that vest. The Sons of Anarchy aesthetic isn’t yours.