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Pretty Little Liars: The Silence of E. Lamb

Ali continues to work the emotionally manipulative vibe, and it's driving Hanna to drink like a bad After School Special. Not everyone in Rosewood is buying Ali's kidnapping story, and Drunk Hanna is calling Ali on her shit. Aria volunteers at Radley, and finds The Girl in the Yard's roommate and sketchbook pretty damn fast. Of course, Eddie is rightfully suspicious that she's there just to volunteer. He's also not blind, and no doubt recognizes Aria from when she visited Spencer at Radley, so he gives Ezra a call. Then, something something Toby's mom? Don't know, still don't care. Spencer helps Ezra move the equipment he used to spy on her and her friends. She was almost pissed about it, until she realized she could borrow some gear to set up a MelissaCam outside of her house. Good thing, since MelissaCam caught Ali sneaking around Spencer's yard like somone who wasn't just strangled in her own living room. And DLD is showing up all over the place playing dumb, like she doesn't know full well what the score is with these girls. She better not be a random A like Shana. 


Only in Rosewood Moment
So many of these this week. Only in Rosewood can Aria get in and out of a psychiatric hospital at her own leisure, like there's no security or locks. Only here can a teen drink vodka at the dinner table and no one notices. And only here is there a test that lets you get out of high school forever. 

Random Return of Minor Character
Emily's mom returns from wherever she's been with advice that maybe it's not Emily's job to save Ali. You know, the kind of momtalk that would have been helpful four seasons ago, before the giant body count and PTSD. 

Best outfit
Not an amazing week. I think Drunk Hanna's rocker chick is my favourite this week, mostly because of that leather jacket.

Best "A" msg
"New York, New York is a hell of a town. Ali's keeping secrets, maybe that's because of Hanna's big mouth." Not A's best work to date, but there you have it. 

Current A Team Suspect
Someone who loves clowns and reading mail and crashing engagement parties? Come on I.Marlene, I need more clues. 


Check in on Friday for Steph's full recap.


Pretty Little Liars: Run, Ali, Run

Part 1 of 2: Express Train to Crazy Town

So A's back in town, or it's a different A, or Shana was never A, or something because everyone's getting ominous texts again. The latest twist is that A has discovered Snapchat and is now sending self-destructing texts. Also destructing? Spencer, who's too busy Parent Trapping her parents to worry about her BF's homeless sitch. I'm still sort of thrown when Ezra starts talking knowledgeably about A and Ali and things, but not as thrown as Aria is when she's reminded he still has hidden cameras monitoring his apartment and also, he's a pedo stalker. Meanwhile in Blonde Land, Ali tries to skip town and Hanna's only too happy to help make her doppelganger exit stage left. But then, Ali sudden need to wear a scarf nearly takes her the way of Orphan Black's Aynesley. Emily to the rescue! Are they like a real couple now that one of them has saved the other from murder? On this show, that's like going FB official.


This was a fun episode, which is amazing considering Spencer wears this same upcycled Girl Scout ensemble for THE ENTIRE HOUR.

WTF is even going on here? The jumper would be MAYBE appropriate with a turtleneck and black tights MAYBE, but not with this chambray button-down layering action.

And did she borrow the Sad Hat from Hanna from last week? Will it go from character to character for the rest of the season?

Sisterhood of the Traveling Hat?


What's worse: abandoning Spencer for these tween Lindsay Lohan Parent Trap shenanigans, or adding these over-the-knee-socks to an already overdone outfit?

Or is the true crime combining the light brown boots with the black socks? Answer: ALL OF THE ABOVE. NONE OF THIS OUTFIT IS OK. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.


This group shot actually shows how, although the girls' aesthetics are increasingly different, they do all still go together as a group. Everyone's got some blue somewhere in their look. Unfortch for Ali, she's bringing blue in this Mary Kay Lady blazer.

Gurl, I know you've been MIA for the last five years (or like two months, PLL time) but in this universe, 17-year-old girls don't run around wearing puff sleeve baby blue blazers. The blazer is extra useless when you see it's been hiding this sweet bird-print top all episode:

I'm also glad to see she's still got her hair game on point, despite her mother's death and the recent strangulation attempt. Gotta respect her priorities.


Aria starts off in this gorge blue patterned dress from last week. What is it about adding pockets to a dress that makes me love it 10,000% more?

And what is it about a championship wrestling-sized belt that makes me like it less? But the look still gets snaps from me, because of the pockets AND this side braid action. 

If only Aria could channel her inner Katniss and/or Queen Elsa and take control of her life for once.


Because? After last week's slip (or as she noted to Spencer, "two slips", ahem) she's back on the express train to Crazy Town, aka Ezria round 150. She is also wearing this outfit, which we need to discuss. At first glance, it looks like some sort of tie-dyed sleeveless turtleneck scenario with mismatched nautical stripe belt and blue skirt.

But look a little closer, and you'll see that it's a sheer blue maxi skirt with side slits...

... oh, and did I mention that her top has got a giant cat face on it, with eyes just above her nerps?

Because: that.


But really, it's not a day that ends with "-day" if Aria's not stomping around in a multitude of animal prints. What's that you say? She's only got the one print on her top? But you haven't seen her purse yet:

If she really wants to keep her undercover lover undercover, she may want to stop leaving accessories around that basically scream I BELONG TO ARIA MONTGOMERY.


As much as Caleb thinks the Rosewood PD drive around in clown cars (to be fair, 99% of them do), Lady Cop is back on the case and it takes her like three seconds to suss out that Ezria's toggled their switch to ON.


Wouldn't it be ironic for Ezria to be finally called out just as Aria has pulled the plug? And do lady cops really leave that many buttons undone on their tops? And could Ezra's movie poster be any larger or more creepy? Just asking.


Pretty Little Liars: Run, Ali, Run

Part 2 of 2: Orange is the new Hanna

While Spencer acts out her Hayley Mills fantasies and Aria's collecting tiger print fabric, Hanna deals with Ali's return from the dead the only way she can — via fashion. We first see her in this offbeat hi-lo denim jacket, which is itself a cry for help.

I mean that in the best possible way. Girlfriend's given herself a H-to-T makeover, going from last season's gauzy skirts to this season's Stevie Nicks steez. She looks even better from the front, the better to check out her high rise skinnies and crop top.


It seems lucky that Caleb's also embracing a throwback grunge vibe. Travis has no chance against this action.

Sidenote: where is Caleb living? Hanna was like, "Toby said I'd find you here" but are we supposed to recognize this man lair, with its leather chairs and roaring fireplace? Additionally: I think I speak for most of the viewing audience when I say that we will all happily pretend Ravenswood never happened. Seriously, there is no need for the sort of heart-to-heart talk Haleb engaged in this week, bringing up Miranda and Ravenswood and lalalala that never happened.


A crucial part of The New Hanna seems to be declaring tourist slogans on her shirt, as her first top says J'aime (that's French for love, you guys, not the name of that Australian schoolgirl — although imaginging Hanna Marin throwing down with Ja'mie would be fairly epic).



Her next look features a shirt she apparently got in L.A.

Pretty sure she picked up the rest of this either at a Stevie Nicks costume shop OR POSSIBLY from Anthropologie. Between the slouchy army jacket, maxi skirt and fringed messenger bag this is, as they say, A Lot Of Look.

And she's clearly spending more time picking out the perfect grunge-emo ensembles than thinking about her ostensible BF, because when Travis breaks up with her, she looks back at him blankly like, "Have we met?"

Meanwhile, Emily was also on the show. Her looks veered from red jacket thing:


To blue jacket thing:


To the Great Emily Fields Sidebra Extravaganza 2014:

Oh, right, gurl. That's what you wear after shooting down your straight-but-maybe-bi? longtime crush who is back form the dead. Because nothing says "Please stop throwing yourself at me" like a completely exposed nude lace bra and most of your ribcage.

And intentionally or not, Ali and Emily wore practically matching outfits almost the entire episode. Here, their B&W looks are like mirror images of each other.

Except you know Ali would never show that much gratuitous sidebra. Mainly because she thinks it's still like 2011 and she hadn't heard about the muscle tee trend yet.


Actually, Ali's fashion choices literally nearly get her killed this week, as the last-minute scarf addition to her blue blazer ensembe proves too tempting for all the people who want to kill her.

CONTINUITY ALERT: Look back up at the shot of Ali in the black and white dress. Then look back down at her strangulation scene. She wore the black and white dress THE MORNING AFTER she was nearly strangled. No bruises at all? Really, makeup/continuity department? You'd think the morning after near-death by strangulation would be the time a girl would wear a scarf or a turtleneck.


As per usz, the episode leaves us with even more questions that we had going in. Questions like: 

Why did Dead Bethany draw this picture of Mrs D being murdered by a spear-wielding demon? And why did Eddie give it to Ezra?


Why does a sanitarium that looks like something from a Lemony Snicket book on the outside...


... have a website that makes it look like an actual helpful facility for the mentally ill?


Did A seriously sign her condolence card for Bethany's family "A"? And why does he or she lurk around in full disguise even when there's nobody else around?


But most importantly, what kind of psychiatric centre allows random teen girls to volunteer from off the street? Are they seriously going to let Aria work with actual patients? Has she had any background check done at all? Does she honestly think this is appropriate job interview attire?

Between Aria's total self-absorption, her victim complex, and her wide-eyed looks, I kind of hope this plotline turns into an Orange Is The New Pretty Little Black scenario, with Aria as Piper. And not just because Ezra is already this show's Larry.


Pretty Little Liars: Run, Ali, Run

A is back, bitches! And while our fave psycopath is back with his/her/their usual vengance, this time A wants Ali alive and in town. Why? Who knows. While A was trying to strangle Ali her darkened house, Ezra was digging into the mystery of the girl in the DiLaurentis yard, using the contacts he made when he was actively deceiving his teenage girlfriend/student. And Aria's cool with that, mostly because she's awesome at making bad decisions. Not that Hanna's doing any better, what with blowing off Travis one too many times in favor of Caleb and for A dramz. She should stick with the cute cowboy because these days, Caleb is as sad as his goatee.

Only in Rosewood Moment
Only in this town can a teenage girl volunteer at the psychiatric hospital where they've institutionalized not only her friend, but also a classmate who tried to kill her multiple times. Have you met my good friend, Background Check?

Random Return of Minor Character
Hey! It’s that cop lady who may be the only cop within a fifty mile radius of Rosewood who doesn’t believe any of these lies. Welcome back, Cop Lady!

Best outfit
Tough week. Aria wore a sleeveless mock turtleneck and it was Spencer’s turn to wear the team slouchy toque. This time with a potato sack.

Best "A" msg
A has clearly upped the data plan, because we were treated to several messages. While I like the old school, "Did you miss me, bitches?" the Snapchat-like video that says, "I buried your mom the same way I watched her bury you" showed some real finesse.

Current A Team Suspect
I don’t believe it’s Mona, because that’s too easy. But I am thinking we’ve got a lady in black right now.


Check in on Friday for Ann's recap of A's return!


Pretty Little Liars: Miss Me x 100

Part 1 of 2: Fast Times at Rosewood High

Happy 100 episodes, PLL! Now that Ali is officially back, she's re-enrolling at Rosewood High, good sense be damned. The Liars have mixed thoughts about Ali’s return to school, however, Mona and Co.’s feelings are clear: they want Ali gone. As we know from Game of Thrones, there can only be one queen, and Mona wants the crown for herself. Meanwhile, Hannah struggles with Caleb's return, Aria makes nice with Jenna (and Ezra), and Spencer continues to deal with the dramz that is her family.


Turns out Alison's is not the only familiar face back in town…


A bus, some tapping noises, and...Jenna's back!

Girlfriend is creepier than ever in an all-black Steve Nicks-adjacent outfit, paired with her usual oversized glasses. 

She may be busy scheming and hiding secrets, but judging by her gold earrings, she still makes time in her schedule for buying on-trend accessories.


But enough skulking about in the dark. The big day is here — Ali's return to RHS! The girls gather to nervously discuss the odds of Alison showing up for school. Will she? Won't she?

I'd like to discuss the all-season weather in Rosewood. Aria is actually somewhat school-appro in this boho look with just one (as opposed to five) color schemes. Hannah looks amazing in her turqoiuse, studded leather jacket and Mulberry-esque bag, but unfortunately, Emily and Spencer seem to have missed the memo. I believe Emily is planning to attend an illegal car race after school? I mean, I'm down with the Topshop jacket, what's with the leather shorts? This is school — not Coyote Ugly. On the opposite side of the schoolwear spectrum, Spencer is ready to celebrate the 4th of July with her gardening club. 


Speaking of schoolwear...

The Liars are not the only ones anticipating Alison's arrival.Paige is so distracted that the poor girl is wearing a piece of her t-shirt to wear as a necklace. DLD Sydney dons basic jeans and a tee, but spices things up with a fitted, mint-colored jacket. Perhaps foreshadowing outfit changes to come?  


Is that...Vicky Gunvalson from The Real Housewives of Orange County? (We all know those ladies love an embellished cardi.)

Nope, it's Ali returning to Rosewood High. To be fair, the outfit is not bad. I'm pretty sure Michelle Obama has worn something like it to a Presidential luncheon. The fitted dress, coordinated colors, large, structured purse...actually, I guess Mona would wear something like this, also. Now that these two will be vying for Queen Bee, that may not be a bad thing. 


Or maybe it is...

Honey, you should't be making that face at anyone when you are wearing an ill-fitting romper and a jacket that appears to have had its buttons replaced with monster buttons on steroids. As for her sidekick, I can't decide how I feel about Lucas's new look — he's more pulled together, but the attempt at facial hair comes across as just a bit creepy.


Only a few minutes into the school day, Spencer has been taken home to pack. Mrs. Hastings is divorcing Mr. Hastings, and she's taking Spencer with her! Now! No time to waste! Chop, chop!

Slow your roll, Mrs. Hastings. I mean, how will Spencer fit all her chunky sweaters, equestrian boots, nautical stripes, and printed tops into that one little suitcase?


While Spence convinces her mom to slow the train to crazytown down, let's check in on the other Liars. Ever the glutton for punishment, Aria heads to Jenna's house after school to view the damage she has caused with Shana's death, where finds a seemingly helpless and weak Jenna wearing some pretty badass kicks. Rather than identify herself, Aria runs. Wonder if Jenna knew it was her?


Yep, she knew.

Jenna's a little less vulnerable and a little more buttoned up in a denim jacket, plus the aforementioned sunglasses. Words are exchanged, and Aria eventually invites her in for tea, which proves she hasn't been watching this show. NEWSFLASH: JENNA IS NOT YOUR BUDDY, ARIA.


While picking up some pre-party coffees (??), Hannah runs into...Caleb! And his new 'do!!

First of all, I looove Hannah's party outfit. The black dress is simple, but has a little bit of an edge, the denim jacket pairs perfectly, and the little braids in her hair are super cute. Snaps all around.




Unfortch, Caleb's fresh-from-Ravenswood detective skills lead him to immediately realize Hannah isn't drinking coffee solo. 

In the blink of an eye, with no questions answered, Caleb is gone. Dude, you were off trying to carry your own tv show canoodling with a ghost. Did you think your ex-ladylove was just going to wait around and drink coffee by herself?