The Phantom - Part 1 of 2 - The world could not support that many ballerinas

Well, it's been quite the season hasn't it? Don's got a wife who will stand up to him, Lane's dead, Joan literally slept her way to the top, Roger did LSD, Betty got fat, Sally turned into a pubescent brat, Pete got punched (a lot), Peggy decided she could do bigger and better things, and SDCP is making a profit. So how do you cap that off? For starters, you get expand your office space. Don has a toothache and some hallucinations of guilt. Megan asks Don for a favour so she can finally get an acting job. Megan's mom is kind of une grande bitch and she's still got the hots for Roger Stirling. Pete continues his affair with a depressed Rory Gilmore because they're both depressed - except he doesn't know it yet. Peggy is on her way up, but a motel room in Virginia is still a long way from where she wants to be. And Matthew Weiner hits me over the head repeatedly with the symbolism stick. 

Best line of the season? "Not every little girl gets to do what they want. The world could not support that many ballerinas." (Right up there with season 3 Joanie's: "One minute you're on top of the world, the next, some secretary's running you over with a lawn mower.") But it's also the best line to split up this finale. We've got the ladies and gents chasing what might be phantoms, and those who are off getting what they want - or deserve. 

I've been of two minds about the fashion this season. Yes, this because this season has been about transitions and changes, but part of me misses the classy threads of Joan and Thin Betty. However, another part of me is super pumped at the arrival of the mod fashions on the back of Megan Draper. For this episode, I like how Megan mixes the two decades. She's got a mix of the mid-50s-Audrey-Hepburn-Funny-Face going on at times.

Love the black turtleneck and skinny denim capris. You could do that now and still be the most stylish girl in the room.

But she takes that 50s look and spices it up with some accessories that are very much of her decade.

Yes yes and yes again to the kicky green headscarf with the great pattern. Hells to the no on her green shoes and even more nos on her friend's striped top. Actually, I love the cut and the neckline of the striped top, I just hate the vertical stripes. 

More Emilio Pucci...

Of course, when it counts, like during a screen test, Megan knows how to do mod like nobody's business.

Sigh. So cute. And so not going to happen on me at my next Mad Men themed party. 

Her maman, who is quelle grande bitch much of the time, has the late 60s all wrapped up in this quilted housecoat.

There is something so horrible and so right about that housecoat and the smoke and the piece of toast for breakfast. Probably because two of the three are just completely outdated and hilarious (and I'm not talking about the toast. Because even if you do smoke, do you really do it while eating?)

But unlike her très chic fille, Marie is still hanging on to some of those slightly outdated ways of dressing - like never leaving the house without a scarf or a hat. 

Parce que mais ouis ma chers, I cannot go out sans mon scarf. My hair est un fright. Fou de fafa, comme si comme sa, au revoir!*

*I have taken enough French classes to know that I just wrote 75% nonsense.

But when she's not wearing the headscarf, Marie is un dame trop classy. The pearls? The perfect nails? The perfect coif? The red wine? She's my kind of lady.

But for all her classiness, there is still that look that is already starting to become retro in Megan's day and age. Like the suit with the matching hat.

I love the idea that one would buy bouclé from head to toe as it really is so Jackie O when she was still a Kennedy, but as we head into the spring of 1967 we also head into the days when Jackie O dressed in a turtleneck and giant sunnies. The times they really are a-changin'. 

Which we see in the loungewear of Megan, which is so unlike her mother's earlier quilted robe.

While this is a hot mess of floral (and looks not unlike my Saturday night with a bottle of wine and a copy of Vogue), Megan's not hanging around the house in matching anything. Girlfriend is doing it for herself and that means wearing whatever the hell she pleases.

Well, everything she wants except getting the career she wants. Because nothing says chasing a phantom like this costume after your husband pulled strings to get you into it. 

Megan's mod mod world is so very different than Rory Gilmore as she goes Sylvia Plath on us. 

While the camel coat with the fur collar and the hat are delightful, she's still clinging to that suburban style that the young urban girls are doing away with. It's stuffy and formal.

Even her day drinking wear for an affair before electroshock therapy still has a muted unhappy housewife look to it.

Ahoy mateys! I'll admit though, it's a far cry from Betty's housewife days. But she's still a Profoundly Sad housewife.

Even her bra matches her slip! That commitment to coordination is going to go the way of the dodo bird. Probably because it takes some time and maybe some help in the house to keep your lingerie that organized. I don't know about you, but it's a very lucky day when I can match the unmentionables. And I certainly wouldn't bother trying if I was just going to get my brain shocked.

Then again, you might as well have all that organized before you forget things, like the dude you just slept with. Rory Gilmore is a electroshocked dream in pink.

At least Beth knows she's profoundly sad. Pete doesn't even know he's depressed and wanting a life that doesn't exist. However, his furniture totally knows.

While the rest of the office is going mid-century modern, Pete is the only dude with the oversized leather chair. Bitchin' cufflinks though, Pete.

I also appreciate your striped ties - there's something J.Crew-ish about them. Even though I'm suspicious of the continuity on the train scene.

Tie change or lighting change that is fooling the eye. 

His wife Trudy thinks she's getting everything she wants, but being married to Pete means she's chasing the phantom of a suburban dreamlife. She's trying really hard though, in her full skirts and coordinating cardigans.

And unlike mod Megan's hot mess of florals (it's hard not to compare almost everyone to Megan...she's been a breathe of fresh air), Trudy's evening wear not only has a matching bow for her hair, but it matches the couch.

Hells bells, Trudy! You've got to tone that matchy matchy down! It's kind of no wonder Pete's a little blue. Who could take that much suburban bliss? 

I totally want those headphones. 

Around the offices of SCDP, there's some folks after their dreams. I can't say how well that's going to work out for them. I mean, Scarlet is straight up adorbs in scarlet, but she's not super bright is she?

Who cares when you look that cute and have such a great scarf around your neck. 

Also chasing the dream of doing whatever the hell they want, client be damned, is our creative team of Ginsburg and Stan.

Stan seriously needs to get a new jacket. The mustard yellow has got to go. And Ginsburg? Well, he's just a mess. Literally.

I know I wore coffee on my shirt today and on my jacket yesterday (it happens), but I've at least got the decency to try and hide it when I'm going into a meeting. Get it together, Ginsburg! You might sell more ideas and argue less with Don if you're not covered in coffee. Although, I'll give you minor snaps for the colour choices. And I dig the die. It's flashy without being novelty.

And our final man chasing a dream? Oh Roger Stirling. That LSD trip is a dream you need to keep on living. Just promise you won't go to work during a trip? Because I don't know that you can handle those polka dot walls.

Love that tie. Something about this show makes me stop and notice ties. Anyone else? 

While Roger took my advice about not going to work on LSD, I'm not so sure the giant hotel room window is a better option.

The Other Woman - Part 2 of 2 - The Pitch Is Back

Drink this moment in, friends, for Ginsberg is not wearing his standby loveseat inspired blazer. I was never really into his character because I just found him to be too chatty and annoying. But in deep teal knit cardigan (with sassy tie, mind you) he looks pretty damn good! Though his tie is not nearly as sassy as the mystery creative’s red scarf in behind.

You know, just because you have a pact doesn’t mean you have to dress in complimentary colours.

But I must concede a hat tip to Kenny for rocking a seriously sweet tie.

More Boss Black...

 

Pete calls a partner meeting to decide Joan’s fate and we get a glimpse of this week’s suit collection from SCDP. Roger has been knocking it out of the park lately, but today’s more conservative choice remind me of Season 2 Roger. Which is fine but... I want more, y’know? And there’s old reliable Lane Pryce. So English it’s actually painful to watch. 

Really? The mystery creative guy is owning this scene? It’s really his blue and yellow chevron tie that’s killing me, but the zipped sweater is a nice touch.

Pete Campbell: an ass in Manhattan, a boring dad in the ‘Burbs. I appreciate his use of the tie clip (which is super trendy right now), but we need to talk about Trudy. I think she might need an intervention. More quilted housecoats? Each more technicolour than the last? What happened to my sweet little Jackie O. knock off?

Let’s be real: if you had to choose based on looks, SCDP would win every time.

Now, Don’s never been the model for innovative fashion, but I feel like he’s totally stepped up his game this season. His casual wear has been pretty solid and the tie collection has vastly improved. I mean, when you go from wide, solid colour ties to skinny ones with detailing like this, it’s like Country Mouse and City Mouse.

Also, anyone else pumped that he was back in front of clients pitching for business? It’s why we fell under his spell 5 years ago. Plus, when he’s pitching in a stunning blue suit with that one pop of cyan... seriously dude, my body is ready.

BFFs 4eva.

I love this shot because you so rarely see Kenny with Don alone in the same frame. Next to Don, everyone’s favourite Accounts man looks like a child. But you know what - he’s outclassing Don in the neckwear department.

And then here's Mr. and Mrs. Draper having one of their oh-so-tense, the-honeymoon-is-over confabs. Remember when they were happy together? Yeah, me neither.

At the end of the day, we just want to see these two either get it on or look disgustingly attractive with each other. What’s Don going to do now that his work wife quit?

Christmas Waltz - 2 of 2 - Doanie, Dojan, Jodon?

OK, now that we've reached Nirvana, Hare Krishna styles, it's time time to move on to our dream couple - Don and Joan! Doanie? Maybe more a Dojan. Or Jodon? Wait, wasn't that one of the character names in Paul's horrifying Star Trek script?

Here's half of Doanie in a lovely floral outfit, chewing out the front desk secretary for letting in the process server with her divorce papers.  

More Carmen Marc Valvo...

Don't you freaking love her necklace? I know it's a Season 1 regular, and you'd think we'd get tired of it, but it's just so professional and unique. Instead of a tacky heart or a lame star, she has a pen. It's just so... Joan!

Don takes an upset Joan out for some fresh air, which obviously means a trip to the local Jaguar dealership. Doanie pose as husband and wife (parents of four) and the salesman doesn't doubt it for a second. 

"That's the most beautiful car ever made," says the Ralph Lauren-inspired car salesman, and I'm inclined to agree. It even took my eyes off of our new favorite couple for a few seconds.

So, they take the Jag for a test drive to the local - what else - bar. There, they innocently have their first non-official official date. I don't know about you, loyal Mad Men and Women, but I have been waiting for this moment for five long seasons.

Don asks Joan to dance, to which she replies, "You and me in midtown? You with that look on your face?" Dammit Joan, just one dance! Give Doanie a chance!

Don returns home, drunk and half-AWOL, to a furious Megan. Don't be mad, Megs! Your forest green sweater is both comfortable and fashionable - the perfect combination! 

Of course, we are talking about Megan Draper - a gutted beanbag would look great on her.

We can't end the episode without a quick rundown on our creative trio: 

  

I'm digging Ginsberg's hipster jacket, liking Peggy's plaid skirt, and Stan looks like a "yield" sign. Never change, you guys.

Well I don't know about you, but all that Hare Krishna chanting (and mocking) has worn me out. Until next time!

Dark Shadows - Part 2 of 2 - Shiny, Happy People

Like I said, pretty much everyone on Mad Men is sad in some way. But for the time being, these folks are the happiest of the bunch. Most of all, Megan, who’s living the dream as a hot wife/cool stepmom/struggling actress.

Oh, you know...just hangin’ out in some cozy sweaters teaching my stepdaughter how to make herself cry.

Now that it’s almost Thanksgiving, Megan has traded in her sleeveless dresses for cigarette pants and autumn-hued sweaters. Does mustard and denim work? Child, please. Anything works on Mrs. Zou Bisou Bisou.

Sally’s also rocking toasty knits, although her attitude this week was chillingly Betty-esque.

She looks cute, but I fear she’s turning into the worst combination of her parents. She's just a few manipulative moves away from being an ice queen in a corner office.

Megan even looks cute when relaxing at home running lines with her actress friend, who's auditioning for Dark Shadows. I wonder if Tim Burton’s feelings were hurt when Megan called it crap?

Oh speaking of crap, Megan’s friend is looking…unfortunate. That print and color palette work for no one, particularly not for a red head.

But really, Actor Friend can't compete with the likes of Megan, who is adorbs even in housewife mode, complete with a head scarf and apron.

If Megan’s happy, Don’s happy. Check out his relaxed look as he leaves his family at home while he heads to the office.

Don is dipping his feet back into the creative waters, even if it means screwing over Ginsberg.

I said Don is happy, not nice.

Seriously though, Don’s clothes have become so much more relaxed. Look at this long sleeved polo! We hardly ever see him in a color! Who is this man??

The rest of the office, well, they’re not fairing as well. I don’t think being a single mom is doing Joan’s hair any favors. I can see right through her teased do, and there is no way Seasons 1-4 Joan would ever let that slide in the secretarial pool.

Time to get with the times and play it loose like Megan, Joanie. And loosen up your wardrobe a little, too! Seriously, I'm hot and itchy just looking at her.

Well, at least Joanie still dresses better than Peggy.

Peggy? Peggy, where are you? Oh, there you are. Couldn’t find you in that oatmeal outfit, sitting on the oatmeal couch.

This is just slightly better. And does Ginsberg wear the same outfit to work every day? It sure feels like it.

As we saw with Actor Friend, mustard isn’t Peggy’s color either.

We can’t see much of Peggy’s outfit here, but I think we should all take a moment to appreciate the amazing staredown she’s giving Roger. That's some Christina Ricci levels of bitchface.

Tell it like it is, girlfriend!

But I will cut our favorite office feminist some slack. This last look is probably Peggy’s best of the night.

I wish the neckline were less horrific, but the bow at the waist is pretty and the color isn’t bad. BTW, I put Peggy in the ‘happy’ category because she’s yet to realize how much she’s been usurped by Ginsberg. He’s even outshining Don, but Peggy can’t see it yet.

Maybe all the plaid has distracted her from his talent.

I mean...ow. This just hurts to look at. All the lines! All the colors! All the textures!

Bravo to wardrobe and set design for this shot. Ginsberg looks so out of place in Roger’s modern office, it’s insane. 

Ginsberg, you're being out-youthed by someone old enough to be your dad. Chew on that for a while, and then maybe write a sad poem about it.

But you know, today’s hipsters would kill for his wardrobe. Just put a can of PBR in his hand, and it's a Friday night at an ironic dive bar.

Do I smell a rivalry developing? Looks like it! Don had better up his game, or the King of the Thrift Store will be running creative soon.

Lady Lazarus, Part 2 of 2 - Affairs and Officewear

Look, it's Rory Gilmore, and she still has terrible taste in men but great taste in coats!

Was anyone else stunned to see that this was Beth, Howard's ball-and-chain? I'd love to hear how he landed her ... okay, I really don't care that much, but still, it's pretty stunning. And, given that she decided to bed Pete, I'm guessing Howard landed her because of her astonishingly low standards.

I've seen some references to Beth as a darker version of Betty, which is pretty spot-on. A blonde version of Beth standing at the train station would have looked like a classic femme-fatale Hitchcock blonde. Unfortunately for Pete, Beth is far, far more messed up than Betty.

Fortuantely for Pete, she's not wearing crinoline.

For all you fellas out there, let me give you a bit of advice: you know what won't help seduce your 24 year-old mistress?

A tie with airplanes. Women don't care if you bought a new tie. 24 year-olds definitely don't care if you bought a new tie, no matter what decade it is. Sorry, Howard, you're going to end up being a "what was I thinking?" story to that girl one day.

Pete agrees with me.

Including this photo only because I love him in all those blues - especially since Beth brings up how blue his eyes are later.

We only get a little bit of Ms. Holloway in this episode, and she's in a drab frock.

And are those black gloves? With a brown dress? Oh, Joan. You're better than that.

We've seen how our women in creative are dressing ... let's check in with the men, shall we?

Stan has rapidly become one of my favorite Mad Men characters. Now that he's not incessantly sexually harassing Peggy, I can enjoy his tight polosand ugly plaid suit jackets - particularly when they clash so obviously with Ginsburg's ugly plaid suit jackets.

True story: this is, apparently, the only tie that Ginsburg owns.

Has anyone else developed an insane, almost fanatical love for Ginsburg? I know he's unstable and kind of annoying, but I find him so ridiculous that it's almost endearing. Plus, his clothes are just so. damned. loud.

Speaking of loud ...

I have a feeling that Mr. Chevalier Blanc and Sal would have been very happy to work together.