Mad Men: The Crash

Everybody Must Get Stoned

Guys, this may have been the most ridiculous episode to date. Except that time when Roger Sterling dropped acid. To review: Ken almost gets into an accident after being taken for a joy ride, Gleason passes away and no one is sure if they even liked him, and half the office gets tripped out on speed. On the romance front, Peggy and Stan finally share a super magical smooch, Sylvia finally tells Don what's up, Don has freaky flashbacks, and we discover how he lost his v-card. PLUS! Crazy Grandma Ida (who's not really the kids grandma) shows up, Betty gets so mad she almost pops a vein, and Don still continues to get away with everything. Also — no one gets any work done.

So remember that one day when a doctor came to the office and injected everyone with an "energy serum" and everyone went batshit cray like whoa? LOL. That was good times.

Nice tie Don, though I'm sure the doc's getting an even nicer view of your nether regions. Too bad we don't get the same treatment.

Post-injections, everyone started flying around the office. Like this:

White boy can jump! And in such a nicely tailored outfit! Digging the green and grey combo and loving those pointed shoes hard core. Don should take a huge cue from Stan here. Stan looks super stylish (which is somewhat of a change from his usual shlubby attire) and still manages to stick the landing.

And then Ken does a tap dance worthy of being on So You Think You Can Dance.

Meh to the suit, though I do like the color. Double meh to both Don and Ken's shoes. But double thumbs up to Ken's cane! With that fantastic accessory plus his superb dancing skills, he's def got a little Gene Kelly thing going on. Me likey.

While Ken was dancing, Don his boost to use by stalking his lover. Who is soooo over him. I mean, so over him. Doesn't he know that before she was Sylvia, she was Lauren on Boy Meets World and almost came between Corey and Topanga? Anyone who threatens that relationship should not be messed with. Especially if she is still dressed in her housecoat and kerchief after 10am.

Although upon reviewing her ho-hum afternoon outfit, I think I prefer the housecoat.

At any rate, she's definitely not to be messed with whilst wearing a ring big enough to knock Don and anyone else within a 3 mile radius out cold.

And oh, hey! Don has anger issues of his own. I think this was pre-speed, but this episode was so trippy that I honestly can't remember.

But what is the source of his anger? Is it really because Sylvia dumped him, or is it because his daughter is starting to work street corners? Or perhaps because his alimony payments are being used to pay for his ex-wife's awful hair stylist? I mean, all of that would make me furious, too.

For serious though, I do think Sally looks adorbs. Her skirt may be a tad short, but it's got a great pattern, and I approve of the Waldorf-esque headband. So age and time period appropriate.

The Draper-Francis girls (and Sylvia) may have been lackluster, but Peggy really brought it this week. Check out this shapely sherbet-orange (season 5 reference!) dress with double-breasted buttons. I kind of hate the mock turtleneck, but other than that, this is a dress I would actually consider wearing.

That hair, tho. Is it her real coif, or did she steal some biker dude's helmet?

Or a train conductor's hat? Snaps on the rest of her funeral outfit. Showing a bit of leg, sporting a cute jacket, wearing the perfect LBD...I give it 9s all around.

More Calvin Klein...

 

And she's accessorizing with an elegant scarf and a serious scowl.

DO NOT MESS with Peggy's creative process. She has no time for your speed.

Or your William Tell-type stunts. Have we learned nothing from the middle ages?

Is it just me or is there something a little sexy about Stan in a rumpled, untucked shirt with a cig hanging from his mouth, about to be shot with an X-Acto knife?

Guess it's not just me. Peggy wants a piece of that too!

Totes fine Peggster, he's all yours.

Except perhaps you were better off with Ted. I mean, he definitely knows how to color coordinate the shizz out of an outfit. This fantastic green number almost makes me forget that his jacket looks like one of Mr. Roger's sweaters on steroids.

And I'm pretty sure he won't kiss you and then go shtup some hippie girl. He's got a little more class.

And look! Here is said hippie girl, Wendy, aka daughter of the recently departed Gleason. She completely reminded me of Sam from Now and Then after she got pulled out of the sewer. Who I loved. I also love this girls spunk, and her mis-matched colors and patterns. It's so off it absolutely works.

So while Don was busy having soft porno flashbacks, Megan was at home getting all dolled up in a sexy gogo girl costume from my local Halloween shop.

You know, I think I may dislike this so much I've started to like it. It works for a night out at the theater, while your stepdaughter minds your apartment (and her two little brothers) on her own.

Sally stumbles out of her bedroom in this absolutely amazing two piece pajama set. It's a little sweet and sassy, yet still cute enough to make her not look like she's catapulting into adulthood too soon.

But Sally, I thought you were a smart gal? How could you, Sally Draper, the product of super stylish Don and Betty Draper, think someone wearing a dress that doesn't fit, a trench that is cut longer than the dress, and with hair this wild & crazy could be your grandma? I just can't.

Right, so, Grandma Ida is not Don's surrogate mother. She's just a very clever cat burgler who can't dress. Of course, it would help if Sally actually knew something about her father's past so that she wasn't so easily duped, but parenting is hard n' stuff.

Right? I mean, why talk it out when you can just yell!

Or faceplant in your living room from the sheer overwhelming-ness of it all.

Our thoughts exactly, Don. Shhh. You rest now.

The next day, Don seems to have sobered up both literally and figuratively — turns out his back hallway doings led to the unlocked door that was an open invitation for Grandma Ida to rob the place, and so now, he's too "busy" to notice the canary that threw up on Sylvia.

Cue the most awkward elevator ride ever. This scenario right here? This is why you don't shit where you eat, Don.

All-in-all, I spent this entire episode with a finger on the rewind button, and my head cocked in perpetual confusion. But if anything, I think we can agree we all experienced that 60s feel-good vibe. Hopefully next week is back to normal, and we see more of Joan, because she would not have tolerated this week's shenanigans.

Mad Men: The Man with a Plan

It's So Groovy Now That Your Wardrobe Is Finally Getting Together

Welcome to Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce & Cutler Gleason & Chaough! This week the offices merge and, as expected, a small number of folks get the axe (looking at you, Burt Peterson). The added bonus is that Peggy haunts SCDP’s offices again, AND finally tells Don she didn’t get this far ahead in life just to kowtow to his whims. Pete struggles with his mother’s increasing dementia with belligerence, and Joan shows she runs deepest amongst the partners by rescuing Bob Benson’s job without anyone ever knowing. And finally, Don is pulling what fellow YKYLF staffer Matt calls a “Don Christian-Grey Draper” move on Sylvia, who finally ends it with him after he takes away her copy of The Last Picture Show.

Like a butterfly shedding its cocoon, this episode we witness Peggy shedding a matronly shell. Step 1: this twee hat and stodgy coat. It's 1968, Pegs. Look to your former officemate Megan for style tips, rather than the first Mrs. Draper, circa 1958. This combo is doing you no favors.

Step 2: Things get a little better when she removes the overcoat. You may see Jackie Kennedy swaning about the Blue Room, but I see a slightly Maoist aesthetic. It’s also very similar to what she wore two weeks ago when she lip-locked Ted. Is she subliminally hoping for a repeat?

Step 3: Butterfly! This fresh sleeveless look was hidden all along, and she's now free of the overpowering coat and blazer. Since it's late spring, I hope she wasn’t boiling underneath all that. Peggy’s got enough to deal with what with 1) the merging offices and 2) her own neurosis.

She later comes to work with an outfit that requires no such metamorphosis. The piping on the blazer, the statement buckles, the patterned skirt...nice work, Peggy. It’s a strong enough look for her to lay into Don. Good for her on setting ground rules.

But Peggy's still not the HBIC at SCDP&CG&C. That would be Joan, who is no longer out to prove anything. Have you noticed she's ditched the pen necklace? In its place is a multicolored scarf and (ahem) a butterfly brooch, framed by a brilliant blue suit.

More Joan & David...

Even sick as a dog, she brings it with this stunning green coat that sets off just about everything else in her color wheel. I should look half so good when hiding in my office, clutching a garbage can.

A quick trip to the ER with Bob Benson, a pesky ovarian cyst removed, and she's back with a vengeance in this green-on-green look. Who else on the show can rock this without making everyone think it’s St. Patrick’s Day? At first I thought she had turned a necktie into a scarf, but it’s actually a scarf that’s part of the same dress. Well played. The olive vest nicely shows off yet another brooch (they're her new thing, I guess?).

Then there are the rest of the staffers. Of them, best-dressed goes to the idiot receptionist whose name I can't be bothered to remember. This dynamite silkscreened top is the greatest thing to happen to Idiot Receptionist, since she’s too stupid to leverage any of her skills to get ahead in business. There is one person in every office that is most likely to leak damning corporate documents to the media, and she is that person.

Moira, Ted Chaough’s pedantic assistant (who got totally schooled by Joan in the Ways of SCDP), pulls off a lemon-yellow shift dress with minimal fuss. What I’d like to know is how she manages to keep it wrinkle-free for longer than 45 minutes, given the fabric.

Wrinkles are not a problem for Pete’s long-suffering assistant Clara, who looks like she’s being strangled with a cross-stitched throw that my grand-aunt once made on a trans-Pacific flight to Asia. Once the “dress” has outlived its usefulness, it will eventually be used as set decoration on That 70s Show.

I know I've been focusing on the ladies, but I'm sure you can imagine what the men wore: suits and skinny ties. I do need to callout Don, though, whose downward spiral into alcoholism and depression is most clearly evidenced in this one shot with Ted:

Right there. Don’s sweaty, out of his comfort zone, unsure of where he’s going, while Ted’s coolly navigating him through the skies and keeping him safe. Ted is the new Don: confident, successful, and a total badass. The man flies planes, dammit. That is one shitkicker of a bomber jacket, and I COVET the aviator sunglasses. If the show goes to 1971, he’d fit right in for opening night of Shaft.

Since Don is spinning out of control at the office, he gets busy and bosses around Sylvia. Girl’s clearly got a problem with dressing, as she only wears things that can be easily removed by Don. There is, for instance, this garden-party outfit, which she is not wearing to a garden party:

And she also channels Mrs. Roper a full decade before Three’s Company premieres:

Or this candy-apple-red lingerie number that has a bigger dart problem than Anne Hathaway’s dress at the Oscars:

And with all of the pain and turmoil Don and Sylvia are inflicting upon each other, I wonder why he can’t just be happy with Megan (whom we see little of this week). I mean, look at how she rocks out this hip, stylish top that could easily transition from daywear to loungewear to a Stones concert in Central Park:

Match it with her Liz Taylor-as-Cleopatra-lite look, and the earrings, and you’ve got a winner. This effortless chic is something you can’t buy.

Just as we compare Peggy to Joan in wardrobe, we have to compare Sylvia to Megan. See who’s projecting so much effort and who’s not? Exactly. I mean, it takes a lot of character to look this effortless:

Peggy and Don (and anyone else at the as-yet-unnamed-agency who's sweating bullets), take note.

Mad Men: For Immediate Release

I Think a Change Would Do You Good

Change is in the air at Sterling Cooper Draper Price, though the team doesn’t quite realize it yet. Bert, Pete and Joan are secretly working on taking the agency public and (no surprises here) it doesn’t exactly go as planned. Pete and Joan think they’re going to become millionaires overnight, however Mr. Campbell’s trip to the brothel sticks a pin in that balloon. Don isn’t much help after firing the sleazy Jaguar client and Roger’s new business tactic of waiting at an airport gate to win business smells a little desperate. Despite all of this trouble brewing, everyone brought their casual game to the table this week and I have to say, I was living for it. Except for Ted — girlfriend needs to lay off the turtlenecks.

If Pete’s face wasn’t always scrunched into a weasel-like scowl, I’d say he could pass for a young Mr. Rogers in this snappy shirt and cardigan combo. The colour contrast adds a smidge of interest, and I’m pretty impressed he mirrored that colour palette with his tie.

Business Pete doesn’t bring anything we haven’t seen before, but again he’s coordinating accessories in the tie and pocket square. And here I thought Trudy picked out all his clothes!

Speaking of Trudy, I guess we’re seeing less of her not because of their separation, but because she’s clearly studying hard at Disney Princess finishing school. Seriously girl, what is with those puffy shoulders? I get it’s only your dressing gown, but there’s a time and a place for that style — and it’s at a Renaissance fair.

There’s so much wrong here, I can’t even process it fast enough. The shape makes Trudy look like a linebacker, the colour would make asbestos jealous, and I don’t think I’ve seen this much chiffon since the finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Let’s cleanse our palates with Roger Sterling’s new bestie — paisley. A man who hooks up with a flight attendant just to get inside dirt on travelling business men definitely has the starch to pull off a collection of paisley ties. The gold is fairly subdued and surprisingly doesn’t pop against the grey, but Roger saved his A-game for travelling with his blue on blue on blue combo. I’m seriously thirsting for that blue paisley even though I know I’d have to be 3 martinis in to work it like Roger.

Casual Bert loves an argyle sweater vest, however, I do not. Sorry my friend, I appreciate that you never compromise your bow-tie dedication, but I am so over argyle I’m this close to being under it. Trying to take the agency public and make all the partners very wealthy people must have clouded his judgement.

Over at CGC, Ted is sporting his favourite colour — that weird 70s mustard that was popular for way too long, and seeped into all areas of life (cars, kitchens, shag rugs). When your blazer is as striking as that striped mess Ted’s wearing, don’t match your tie with it. Teddy's being swallowed up by bad taste.

Props to Gleason for the kicky neck scarf, tho. I’m still waiting for the day when Fred from Scooby Doo is again an acceptable style icon for men, without looking like a trendy tool in a scarf.

Peggy obviously doesn’t share my aversion to Ted’s wardrobe because those two shared a passionate kiss after hours. As far as Peggy’s outfit goes, it’s pretty plain for our girl. Sky blue is a safe choice and the buttons/collar don’t have the odd, stylish flair Peggy seems to infuse into her look.

At least she complements Ted’s teal turtleneck. Although having to type the words “teal turtleneck” really hurts me. What’s he hiding under those? Maybe Ted’s wife is an insatiable hickey machine and since he’s over 16, he’s embarrassed. I once got a monster hickey when I was 22 and you know what I did? Put on some cover-up and wore scarves. That’s how you do it, Ted. Take a note.

Anyway, guess who’s back in town? It’s Marie, the judgemental, wine soaked woman from Montreal here to stir shit up — like this week, when she instructed Megan to look hot and make sexytime with the Mister. Marie’s casual look also falls into the blue/green colour family, but she manages to stand out with her disdainful smoking pose and demure string of pearls.

Impressive though that was, her best look this week was this black dinner frock at left. How much do you love those sheer sleeves? Also, how much more do you love her sitting on the couch drinking red wine straight from the bottle? Don’t ever change, you cynical French fox.

Megan and Marie’s relationship is so tumultuous, I can’t even keep up. But when they’re dressed as fabulous as this, who the hell cares? One of my favourite late-60s/early-70s colour combos is purple and orange. In fact, I’m still in love with it and seeing Marie draped in those colours so elegantly...I’m swooning. Not to be outdone by maman, Megan’s serving some Soap Star Realness with her sexy update to the classic Jackie O. aesthetic. 

Need I mention the fangirls? Next to these chic women, those teenagers look like extras from Oliver!

More Aldo...

After their little shopping spree, Marie and Megan accompany Don to dinner with the gross Jaguar guy. After listening to his wife prattle on about absolutely nothing (snaps to the writers for crafting such intentionally banal dialogue!), Don pulls a classic Draper emotional breakdown and fires the client. Frankly, they should have fired him for being totally gross and kidnapped his wife for an emergency makeover. Big hair, big earrings, big ruffles — you don’t get out of the suburbs much do you, honey? 

I mean, compared to Don and Megan’s power couple steez, those Jaguar folks are downright bumpkin. Megan is beyond sexy in this gold dress, and I applaud the neutral make-up. If she had a more smoky eye, it’d be red carpet ready. Don’s no slouch with his slick suit and gold tie to match.

I mean, people must hate these two when they see them out like this.

On the other end of the spectrum, Don’s casual look is less than impressive. Granted, he’s still polished as hell, but these plaid blazers aren't the right fit for him. I get that it was the style at the time, but y’all know that man feels most at home in a tailored suit with a power tie and freshly shined shoes.

Don and Megan are a pretty stark contrast to Peggy and Abe. But Peggy and Abe have two things going for them: a sweet new apartment in an up-and-coming part of New York (unless it gets burned to the ground by gangs), and accidental hipster style. Is this 1968? 2013? Who knows! Abe is tackling a little DIY in in Lil’ Abner overalls, and let’s talk about Peggy’s coat — adorable! Air kisses for the green and orange stripes, and the unisex style.

Let’s take another look at this coat, OK? Also, check out Peggy’s buttoned-up oxford shirt. I have friends who have basically worn this outfit, but in different colours. It looks like she was out postering for her band's gig at a local dive bar. This is the flair I was talking about earlier!

Even her boring merlot dress with the wide collar looks more like Peggy with her patterned scarf. Quirky! Bold! Let’s keep an eye on her, though, because I have a feeling the SCDP/CGC merger will push Peggy into Executive Realness, killing her style.

Of course, the real female style icon on Mad Men is, and will always be, Joan. Girl was pretty excited about the agency potentially going public. A million dollars was on her doorstep and she greeted it with her best casual floral blouse. Wardrobe knows how to complement a red-haired woman because I’ve rarely seen Joan in anything unflattering. Her hair’s been freed from the professional up-do we see week after week. It’s all on point and she knows it.

Once shit hits the fan with Don firing Jaguar and chasing after Chevy, Joan doesn’t hold back with the emotions. I always say, if you’re going to have a public display of emotion, make sure you look drop dead gorgeous. Luckily, Joan doesn’t have a worry in that department. Again, we see an emerald hue and it is coming alive against those gold accents.

But I'm holding up a yellow card for this red and blue polka dot number. Sure, it's fun and trendy, but I’m not sold on it. I think it’s the contrast between the colours? At any rate, the new super-agency better beware, because y’all know Joan ain’t taking no prisoners.

Mad Men: The Flood

A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

Man, the 60s were tough. The Sterling Cooper gang (and Peggy) are at an awards dinner when the news breaks that Martin Luther King Jr. has been assassinated. It's pretty much as awful and heartbreaking as you'd expect, although what's really striking is the awkward detachment of all our main characters (especially when Don, Joan and Peggy are trying to relate to their African-American employees). In an unexpected turn of events, we finally get some insight into the enigma that is Bobby Draper. Oh, and Ginsberg gets set up on the world's most awkward date and cements himself as a classic character by admitting that he's a virgin — a confession he immediately follows by saying, "What am I doing? I ordered soup, I just said that..."

Few things are as exciting than an awards banquet on Mad Men. Most of the other shows we cover here at YKYLF have a weekly soiree which basically requires formalwear (or, in the case of The Lying Game, daytime glamor). But most of the time, Mad Men sticks to businesswear. So it's a rare treat when we get to see our favorite SCD(R.I.P.P.) characters all dressed up for a night on the town. The men don't forge any brave sartorial paths with their tuxes, but the women ... well, that's a whole other story.

It's a good thing Joan was seated so far away from the stage. With Joan in a dress like this, Paul Newman wouldn't have stood a chance. The color is regal, the cut is lethal — essentially, Joan is divine, and one day baby Kevin's daughter will see this photo and pray that Grandma Joan saved the dress.

On the other hand, Peggy's grandaughter will probably find this in Peggy's closet, and she will cringe while Peggy argues that it was "very stylish, back in the day."

This dress is so very Peggy. Remember that time Peggy thought Abe was going to propose to her, so she wore a giant pink bow dress? This is somehow a more grownup version of that dress. So, I guess yay that she's growing up, but can she please grow out of the Laura Ashley look already? I feel like all this dress is missing are a pair of white gloves and an Easter basket.

Wearing all the colors of that Easter basket is Megan Draper, looking every bit the tv star she's become. Sure, Joan was sexy and all, but no one looks as straight-up glamorous as Megan.

Although, I did have to do a quick check to make sure this wasn't the same dress she'd worn for the swingers dinner last week. It's not, although the colors and patterns are terribly similar. But it's easy to tell the difference afer a quick check between last week's sleek mod dress and this week's dress, with its "I Dream of Jeannie" sleeves.

More Alice + Olivia...

 

And the sleeves. Oh, the sleeves! Janie Bryant added sleeves and beading to the dress.

Basically: Janie Bryant is a genius. End of story.

For the vigil in the park, Megan wears a leather duster that is totally appropriate for a city descending into total chaos.

Sally, after your dad and Megan get divorced, stay friends with Megan. If we can't borrow Megan's coat, please do it on our behalf one day.

Megan wraps up the episode learning some ugly truths about Don (like how he's dead inside, which, duh).

I don't know how Megan's keeping it together. Her husband is one dead puppy away from total sociopath. She has a job where her employers want to make her the meat in a middle-aged swinger sandwich. She had a miscarriage and couldn't tell her husband about it because deep down she knows he's dead inside. And yet she manages to look awesome in this stunning tangerine nightgown, without any makeup on. If I didn't feel so bad for her, I'd hate Megan.

Unrelated, but I need a forum to share this: does anyone else think Jon Hamm looks like Fred Flintstone?

A really, really handsome Fred Flintstone?

Ginsberg's dad played Yenta and set him up on a date with a Nice Jewish Girl. The date is awkward and charming, and I'm really hoping this isn't the last we see of Ginsberg's date.

I'm so glad they styled her like this — young, hip, stylish. The hair is big, the dress is mod, and look at how much leg she's showing! She's actually trying for this date, and poor Ginsberg ordered soup.

I'm just starting to notice how many blue dresses are in this episode. Even Sally gets in on it with this blue turtleneck under her jumper.

The chain straps are such a great detail. This jumper makes me a little sad for Sally, that she's not coming of age in the late 80s/early 90s. How much would she love the punk and grunge scenes? Can't you see her in flannels, a ripped pair of tights, and some scuffed-up Docs?

Sylvia's gone for most of the episode, but she's very present once the riots start, as Don worries about her safety (she's in DC). The only time we see Sylvia is at the top of the episode, wearing this fantastic coat.

That zebra stripe collar is just too chic. The whole look is so very wealthy and Upper East Side (I bet Cece Rhodes would have owned a coat like this in her younger days). And yet, I can't help but be reminded of something else when I see this much red on Mad Men: Don's brothel-based childhood, as seen in the premiere episode.

Mad Men: To Have And To Hold

Everything Sucks

This week at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, everything basically sucks. Don isn't OK with Megan having a romantic plot on her soap opera, Joan tries to act like a 25 year old, people are fired, their bosses complain, and everyone else drowns their sorrows in a bar. Silvia ends the episode wishing peace upon Don, but she (and we) all know that he'll never achieve it. What I've always found interesting about all the characters in Mad Men is that none of them are content. So what exactly do our characters want to have and to hold? A new account...or something more grand?

Megan and Don go on a double date. If Don and Betty were "Ken and Barbie" then what does that make Don and Megan? She's too glam to be Midge or Skipper. Megan's fashion choices are getting bolder and more exotic as the show slowly leaves the 60s, as seen here with this pink dress infused with a metallic print. I'm also loving Megan's eyeliner — very Cleopatra, and not the LiLo version. 

How's the wine? And your lamb? So, now that we're friends, wanna swing with us?

Sixties activiests used to say "don't trust anyone over 30" but here I'm inclined to say "don't underestimate anyone over 45." Mrs. Swinger's dress looks like it's covered in those glow-in-the-dark stickers you used to put on your wall as a kid. As for Mr. Swinger, that's a pretty standard suit/tie for said agenda. Maybe I was expecting more color? But then again, it could be part of his straight-laced facade.

Meanwhile, at a dinner free of wifeswapping offers, Dawn grabs girl time with her bestie and talks about how everyone at SCDP is basically an American Psycho. Look at all the colors here of Dawn and her friend — so much more than the array of greys and blacks suits we're used to seeing all day at the office.

I spoke too soon! Now THAT is orange! Hate or love the color, the scarf adds a nice pop of contrast and keeps Scarlett from looking like the sorbet that Don forced Megan to eat at HoJo's last year.

More Asos...

 

And check out her white go-go boots! They remind me of what Sally Draper tried to wear last season, until Don shot her down. Can you imagine if Don had final say over his employees' wardrobe choices, too?

Although, something tells me that Don would approve of everything Joan wears to the office, including this super flattering floral number. (And seriously, will Superman and Wonder Woman ever hook up, or is a Don/Joan dalliance stomping on sacred ground?)

Speaking of sacrillige (of the sartorial variety) — "Hello, my name is Harry and I dress/act like an employee of the I.R.S." So many yawns, Mr. Crane.

But I'm wide awake for Mrs. Draper! Is she moonlighting to make some extra money for her escape from Don? No, silly, she's just camera-ready for her soap opera.

Fact: 40 years from now this outfit will be most popular selection in the "Adult" section of your local Halloween store.

This episode bounces all over the Big Apple, and we soon end up at a hotel room, albeit not for the usual Mad Men hotel room scenario — SDCP is sneakily presenting a big pitch for the Heinz ketchup account, only to find out that Peggy and her new team are also in the game.

On one side we have Don, Pete and Stan. On the other are Peggy, Ted and some guy we don't care about. So who won?

Neither! And both teams retreat to drown their sorrows at a nearby bar. But chin up, Peggy, I'm really digging your bold blue and red outfit. I'm a sucker for the symmetry that only a double-breasted jacket can deliver.

Meanwhile, instead of 2 Broke Girls, we have more of a 2 Let's-Act-Like-We're-25-Again Girls deal as Joan and her old friend get cray with the flavored sugar water.

Still in her day dress, Joan looks like a walking advertisement for the New York Aquarium, and I mean that as a compliment. This swirl of blues and greens is lovely on her, while that warm pink flatters her fair-haired friend perfectly. Stay classy, girls.

Or not. Later that night, Joan finds herself at the Electric Circus as the third wheel while her friend macks on a waiter. Did I really just type that sentence? Has Joan ever looked so out of place and stodgy? You guys, I think the universe is about to cave in on itself.

There were go, Joanie, remind the world that Marilyn Monroe (dead though she may have been for five years now) is actually a Joan. But what do we think of Joan's new snogging pal? His black and cream situation makes me cringe. Go for one or the other, bro. Only certain people can pull off varsity-level contrast like this, and it's not a psychedelic beatnik like you.

Back in a decidedly less colorful environment, we have infidelity in an elevator. Yeah that's right, Don. We didn't forgeting about your cheatin' ways! Although with this black-and-white chic North pole look on Sylvia, who could blame him? (Well, maybe Megan...and every other woman except Sylvia...) 

After lots of arguments and disappointments, we're going to close on Stan, who's quickly becoming my new favorite character. While the rest of the cast walks around with a furrowed brow, basically one drink and an empty elevator shaft away from ending it all, there goes Stan and his devil-may-care attitude.

And his beard! It's like the ultimate accessory. If Stan's beard could talk, what would it say?

Yeah, I don't know either, although I have a pretty good idea of what it might say to Peggy.