Let's examine this trio. You may call them Jack, Jackie, and Marilyn (btw, I'm still spelling Jack's name as Tripp, not Trip. It was Tripp in the previous season, so despite what his campaign posters said, I'm sticking with the extra P.)

First, we have Marilyn:

Sweet, naive Serena who believes that Love Will Keep Us Together.

She's the canary in the cage, if you substitute canary for dumb 18 year old in a wrap sweater and cage for the not-a-cottage.

See this hat?  Remember it.

Post accident (I maintain that those were husky dogs, not wolves) Serena appears to be fine, other than a few bumps and scrapes.  Which begs the question - WHY DOESN'T TRIPP'S CAR HAVE AIRBAGS?  Also, I'd like to know why NO ONE IS QUESTIONING HER BANGED UP HEAD and the MATCHING WINDSHIELD MARK on the PASSENGER'S SIDE not the DRIVERS SIDE WHERE TRIPP MOVED HER!  Questions, people...questions!  Also, CAPITAL LETTERS!

Whatev.  Serena has no time for this nonsense.  She's got a perfume commercial to shoot.

SCENE: Hopsital.  A beautiful blonde emerges through a set of double doors, wearing an etheral cream ensemble.  VOICEOVER: "Ho Number 5.  Wear it when you make bad decisions."

Ok, on to Tripp.  Drab colored sweater but sure, I'll buy it.  It looks like what our fallen Congressman would wear whilst holed up at his "cottage".

For his jaunt outdoors, Tripp has copied the "What WASPs Wear on Crisp Autumn Days" page of the Official Preppy Handbook.

Although, I'm confused.  Isn't it post-Thanksgiving?  I'm quite certain that the trees are not so golden and lovely in Nassau County, early December.

Oh!  Hi, Maureen!

BRA-FREAKING-VO!  I would like to marry this outfit.  The coat color is perfection on her, and the status bag says she means business.  I forgive the hideous outfit at Thanksgiving, Mo.  You are Jackie!

 And did you see the back of her hat?  [insert giddy squeeling]

Her YSL Roady might say "I'm Queen and you're not" but her gloves say "'Scuse me, gov'ner...have ya got a ha'penny?"

I do love this coat, though.  And the hair extensions look nice, unlike the girl I stood behind the other day on the train.  No, seriously...this is a true story.  Her real hair barely covered her extension roots, much to the amusement of me and my fellow Chicago Transit Authority passengers.  Jenny would never let her extension roots show.  Nor, I imagine, would Queen Jenny take public transportation.  I guess this is why I will never be Queen of Constance Billard School for Girls.

Another fabulous coat, and pretty earrings.  Jenny, you've come such a long way from the rat-headed, racoon-eyed Jenny of earlier this season.

sigh But still, with the gloves.  Is this her way of hanging on to her rock n' roll Brooklyn roots?

Ok, remember when I told you to remember Serena's floppy hat?  Look at what we have here...

Are these hats The New Thing?  I have one, but I didn't realize they were quite so ubiquitous among the high school set.  Now I wonder if I'm on-trend, or just a wannabe member of Jenny's clique. Damn you, Gossip Girl, for making me question my wardrobe!

Oh, and I am SO over the matching colors!  Heathers did it best, GG.  Don't try to copy.

Speaking of wannabe, even Wannabe Girl has caught the hat bug.

As has Random CB Girl in the background.  THE HATS!  THEY ARE TAKING OVER!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

(Hey Eric nice to see you love the coat love the tousled hair ::air kiss, air kiss:: call me for a fro-yo date bye!)



Quiet, I'm still relishing. 

Ok, I'm back and am ready to worship at the alter of this perfect coat.  I know, I know...I have a thing for coats.  But isn't this one gorgeous?

Let's look at the little knife pleats on the back.  People, I'm positively swooning.



Long shot.  The swinging coat, the pink heels, the grey cloche....not at all what a college freshman would wear, but I'm willing to suspend belief for this perfect outfit.

Changing topics for a minute, those homeless people?  Not looking particularly homeless.

I actually think this is a brilliant costuming moment.  Stick with me, here.  We all know that Blair would not normally go out looking like she dressed in the dark, right?  So the fact that she did hits home the point that she is truly concerned about Serena.  What we're seeing here is character development through a sartorial lens.  Well done, Wardrobe Department.  Well done.



Hey Chuck.  Wearin' a suit, huh?  Just like all the other episodes this season?  Y'know, even Dear Old Dad wore a sweater every now and then.



Speaking of Bart, here he is!  I guess they have tailors in the hereafter?

Back to the living.  It's...Chuck's mom?  Whoever this lady is, someone needs to tell her that there are only two occasions where a scarf around your head does not look silly: 1) As a motorist in a convertible and 2) if you're over the age of 70.  Mystery Locket Lady does not appear to be either of these things.



There's a "wood" joke in there somewhere, but I'm too bored by Dan to work it out.

Hi, Nate.  Hangin' out in the Village again, even though you go to school in Morningside Heights?  'K...just checking.  Like the grey jeans, btw.

Ugh, really?  Do I have to analyze this?  I so don't want to.  They look crazy.  Disheveled.  Oh wait...is this what fashion editors mean by "bohemian"?

I have nothing good to say about this bag.  You can't make me like it!

What the hell is with this top?  Why does this fresh-faced girl think it's stylish to dress like an Amish cocktail waitress? 

Look, even V agrees with me!

I need a break from all this dorm madness.  Let's escape to some penthouse madness, shall we? 

May I just say that I love the contrast of Lily's bold bib necklace and her simple sweater.  Vanessa (and Gabriela), take note: this is how you wear jewelry.

I wonder how many Hermes bags Lily owns.  A lot?  Enough to tote around all her dark secrets?

Unlike her daughter, here Lily looks less like a perfume ad and more like a patient at a really fancy psych ward.  Baubles!

Doesn't Rufus van der Humphrey seem sort of ball-less?  I don't get it...has his daily routine changed significantly since leaving Brooklyn?  Then again, I suppose he doesn't have the gallery any longer, thus he and his pullover sweaters are sent to co-op board meetings.

But this?  This is not a co-op meeting.  This is perhaps a committee meeting for the Influenza Ball, or maybe even the Wednesday Ladies Who Lunch group, but it is not a co-op meeting.  They look far too happy.  I will say that I adore their preppy princess outfits.

Lily's building strikes me as the sort of place where there might reside a few elderly society doyennes who perhaps saw the two Cougars on the left and said in their best you're-brown-so-obviously-you-don't-speak-English-therefore-I'm-going-to-shout-so-you-can-understand-me voice: "EXCUSE ME.  THE SERVANTS' ELEVATOR IS DOWN.  THE.  HALL."  I wonder how many months these poor Cougars had to endure that ("Christ on a cracker...Mrs. Heppleworth is out in the hall. I'm staying put.")

Ooh, things are looking up at 500 East 55th*.  Old lady Heppleworth moved out and the lead singer from Lincoln Hawk moved in.  Rawr!

*If we are to believe the address written on The Letter...the van der Humphreys live practically in the East River?  I think not.

I've been hearing rumors for a while of some sort of Dickensian moral for our anti-hero Chuck.  At the risk of being wrong, I'm calling next week's show right now:

1) Chuck is being Cold And Heartless (vid clip)

2) Serena gets her pretty head banged up (last 10 seconds of this vid clip) and ends up in the hospital, no doubt with a period of unconsciousness somewhere in there

3) Ergo, the two plot points intersect and while our blonde beauty is barely breathing, she will appear as a Ghost of Christmas Whenev to Chuck, thus teaching him the Error of His Ways.

If I'm right, you biatches owe me the handbag Jenny and the Minions* are coveting (vid clip)

*I am SO starting a band called Jenny and the Minions

Gasp!  Oh my goodness!  Serena, is that you?  Wearing an outfit that’s appropriate for business?

Well, that's a relief...Camel toe-inducing pants save the day!  Thank goodness, S.  For a minute there I thought you'd gone native.

Speaking of girly bits, whenever someone tells me my coat appears to be embroidered with them, I get this same look on my face.

Serena, again with the appropriateness!  This hairstyle is lovely and the dress you’re wearing for Thanksgiving appears to be...dare we say it?  Demure.

Aaaaand just like that, it’s not.  Yes, this is an excellent choice of attire for a) a family function where b) your luv-ah will be there with his current wife.  I’m sure she won’t suspect a thing when she sees you in this dress.  Why, it’s practically Amish.

Nate does casual cool so well.  Good shoes and a coat with grey jeans and a slim-cut plaid shirt.  Big ups, Nate.

Tripp’s hair is going places, man.  You can’t keep it down!  It’s gonna head somewhere northwest of Tripp’s head as soon as it possibly can.  Look, it’s inching that way already!

I assume this grin is the result of seeing Serena's Skanksgiving day dress.

Maureen looks awkward.  Maybe it’s the summer floral combined with black tights and a wool jacket.  Or maybe it’s because she’s standing in the presence of The Other Woman.

No, it’s her outfit.

...and this flattering blue sheath...

...close up of the patterns on the sheath and tights...

...moving on to this fabulous coat.  I’m positively swooning over it.  In fact, I do believe I can be bribed with it.  The rich texture and color, the princess cut, the cap sleeves...it’s perfection.

Here’s the only bobble in an otherwise perfect episode.  This outfit has potential.  Great tights and necklace.  The cut and pattern of the dress are nice, but the fabric itself appears to very stiff.  For instance, the fabric has folded itself in such a way that Blair appears to be wearing culottes.  I’m pretty sure those haven’t come back in style.  Yet.

Hey, GG viewers!  Did you know that Chuck is now a Big Important Hotel Owner?  And as such, he must always wear a suit and tie?

“One of these eighteen year olds is not like the other....”

Wearing a tie to Thanksgiving = good.  Great, in fact.  I love when people dress up for the holidays.  The wide paisley tie is a good focal point.  Also, I have decided that Chuck should wear more brown.  It makes him look like less of a tightass.

Lady Eleanor!  Where have you been all season?  So nice to see you again, and with a fab bag, to boot.

This might be my favorite Eleanor look to date.  Flattering color, beautiful accessories....oh GG writers, please don’t send Queen E away again.  Please?  For me?

She doesn’t get featured on YKYLF very often, but I must give my favorite secondary character a shout out for getting into the spirit of the season.  Dobra, Dorota.

::Pause.  Blink, blink:: 

No.  Just, no.

Lily is quickly becoming my GG wardrobe crush. Classic style with a modern twist.

It’s like one of those “Who wore it better?” features.  I vote Team Lily.  Maureen looks lost, as though the jacket is wearing her.

Oh Lily, can you do no wrong?  You are the very picture of an Upper East Side hostesses.  Perhaps one who ditches her guests and hides in the den drinking scotch, but let’s not split hairs.

Here’s a shot of Cece on video chat.  She looks like a librarian.  A librarian whose heart “pumps gin and secrets” (thank you, Dan) but a librarian nevertheless.

Ah, this is better.  Polished, poised, and a bit poisonous.

I have mixed feelings about this coat.  On the one hand, it’s colorful and funky.  On the other hand, it looks like a peacock threw up.  Let’s take a closer look....

I’m going with regurgitation du peacock.

Help me understand something.  Vanessa was sitting around at home in this outfit, had a fight with her mom, and rushed over to Dan’s in this outfit, and is now baking in this outfit?  Outside of that preposterousness, I will say that the purple is lovely on Vanessa, and even the gargantuan necklace isn’t so bad.  That skirt, though...best take it off before flour gets all over it.  Or my retinas explode.  Whichever comes first.

Ya know...I don’t hate this!  It could do without the coin medallion and with some smaller earrings, but overall it’s in keeping with Vanessa style without being too offensive.

Somewhere, there’s a photo of me on the floor at about 18 months, with my mother’s costume jewelry strewn all about.  I am wearing approximately four necklaces and two bracelets.  I grew out of that stage.  Gabriela did not.

Well, this isn’t so bad.  It’s sort of festive, and is a bit less fortune teller-ish...

No, nevermind.  She’s still giving Miss Cleo a run for her money.

Nate and Dan have a reeeeeally uncomfortable conversation. Well, uncomfortable for the viewers. I suppose when you're in the middle of that bromance it's hard to see things clearly. (vid clip)

Rufus left his balls in Brooklyn. (vid clip)

Tripp and Serena continue being stupid. (vid clip)

Extended trailer here

Catch YKYLF HMFIC (Head Mocker of Fashion In Charge...what did you think we meant?) Jen's live Tweeting on Monday night and recap later this week.

Last week's threesome was trés scandalous avec un menage à trois. But this week we got the morning after. Well, maybe not the very next morning. No one needed to see that walk of shame.  What we did get was Dan's walk of Pimpness:


Right. Worst pimp ever. I sort of dig the jacket, but that dude wears more plaid than all of Seattle in 1991. To the wardrobe department I say: Enough. He's from Brooklyn.  We get it. Now can we get him some better shirts and stop bogarting Rufus' "Lincoln Hawk" style?

Oh, and the worn out henleys aren't any better. Neither was the hat or the emo scarf.


God. That whole outfit was just embarrassing. Even Pete Wentz gave up on those damn scarves.

I guess, in Dan's defense, he needs the plaid if he's going to Tisch:


Maybe it's because I'm Canadian that I wasn't really aware of Tisch, but apparently plaid is de rigeur. Except for Paul and Willow...but we'll get back to them.

But onto numero deux in our threesome: Olivia (I'm saving the best for last).  Honestly, I struggled with Olivia's outfit all episode long. Do I love it? Do I hate it? Is it a dress? Why the brown fringed purse with a black outfit? So many deep questions.


I did kind of hate her jacket. It looks like it should be denim, but it's not.


Let's take one more look at the dress


Seriously. I can't decide. All I can figure out is that she's raiding Vanessa's jewelry box again:


However, unlike her roomie, she knows when to stop and didn't add five necklaces to go with the earrings.  

Olivia did nail it with her dress during the Gaga and the Seven Dwarves:



Great dress. No idea what was going on with that hair though. Rat's nest? It really is time for her to get out of Vanessa's room before she starts mixing and matching patterns and wearing all her jewelry at once.  Because another month with Vanessa and Olivia could end up looking like this:


Solid coat with patterned skirt, honey. Solid.  Or, solid colour skirt with the plaid blanket you're wearing as a coat.  

Although, that scene almost fooled me into thinking that Vanessa went easy on the jewelry. But she didn't


I really enjoyed Amanda's accessory count from her recap of the Grandfather Part II, so let's play "Count how many pieces of jewelry Vanessa wears at one time": two necklaces, but one is double stranded so we're going bring that to three. Two bracelets. A ring that takes over two fingers (I like big cocktail rings, but I don't make them compete with 5 other items). This now brings us to six pieces of jewelry.  Her hair is hiding the dangly earrings. And I'm still trying to decide if those were strings attached to her dress or a really long black necklace, but since it's competing with the dangly necklace, I'm going to call it an accessory.  That brings us to a grand total of eight pieces, or, in Vanessa's world, a casual day with only a couple of accessories. Sort of like the days when the rest of us decide to wear just earrings.

And then there are the boots:



And I give up. There is just no hope for Vanessa Abrams.