The Big Day - Part 1 of 2 - Let Them Wear Cake

On the day of the Breeland-Tucker wedding, a storm hits Bluebell forcing George and Lemon to relocate the wedding and Wade and Zoe to take cover in a barn. In a surprising (yet, let's face it, utterly predictable) chain of events, George calls off the wedding to confess his love for Zoe... just after she finishes sexytime with Wade. Talk about bad timing. HoD's first season finale follows CW's formula to a T: a disastrous wedding + a love triangle with a bunch of hot people + exposed male body parts just because - believability = one hell of a season finale. 

The episode opens with a dream. Because, you know, we don't get to see that a lot anymore:

For a second, I thought George was wearing a cardigan with shoulder pads. Which, though nightmarish, is at least more interesting than what he's actually wearing.

Why, in George's dream, do Lemon and Zoe both wear excessive amounts of jewelry? It doesn't really bother me that much; I'm too distracted by their textured wedding dresses.

They look like they're wearing mounds of cake frosting. 

Not necessarily a bad thing.

Also, why, in George's dream, does Lavon dress super fab in a white tux?

It's time to give up when your nemesis dresses more fashionably than you even in your dreams.

Lemon calls George, interrupting his pre-wedding jitters dream and looking wedding-ready straight out of bed. Wow, this is the first time Lemon's hair isn't "done" and my hair will STILL never look as good as this.

Zoe, desperate to make up with Wade, comes bearing gifts of creme brulee coffee (does that really exist?) in this amazing red textured jacket.

I honestly cannot even deal with how cute this outfit is. It hurts just looking at it: red jacket, white tie blouse, leopard print belt, black trousers and platform booties. And that bag! GOOD LORDDDD. Perfect for objecting holy matrimony.

More Alexander Wang...

Unfortunately, this outfit won't help her win George back. Though after seeing the wedding photography, maybe that's a good thing...

Lavon comes to warn George of a storm while wearing possibly his most fashionable outfit of the entire series:

Seriously, Lavon. You're killing it. Head-to-toe. Killing it.

Even Swan agrees.

"What?? ...I swear, I style myself."

Back at the Breeland estate, the bridal party awaits Lemon's arrival. Magnolia prepares for her maid-of-honor role by wearing this pale yellow 3D dress.

This dress is a homerun. Look at the back:

Cricket, on the other hand, prepares for the wedding by gluing a bunch of Skittles to a terry top.

A storm hits Bluebell, just as Lavon predicted, and the bridesmaids struggle to keep Lemon from finding out. Magnolia dons this over-the-top flower headpiece, which reminds me of what I wore to my cousin's wedding as a flower girl in 1993.

1993?!!?!?!?!?!?!

Whoa, sorry, Lem. I heard the 90s were coming back...?

The Big Day - Part 2 of 2 - Zoe vs. Wade's Abs: Lightning Round

Zoe drives to Mobile to do some shopping and, of course, avoid the Royal Wedding. On the way back to Bluebell, she picks up Wade, whose car has broken down. They somehow end up in a barn, soaking wet with a bunch of a goats.

CW. Seriously. You really know how to write a show.

At this point, we know Zoe and Wade are gonna get it on. The question now is when. Wade shows off his arms in possibly HIS most fashionable outfit of the entire series.

Look, I know, I know, it's just a wifebeater and jeans but he always wears plaid and-- oh, forget it. IT'S THE BICEPS.

Zoe doesn't look too upset being stuck in a barn with Biceps. She looks super cute and all smiley in her very see-through white blouse.

Too bad his focus is on another girl:

Back at the bridal party, Annabeth tries to cheer Lemon up in this fantastic taupe pink feather dress, flower earrings and statement necklace.

I am a little confused about her hair though. It's still in the prep process... right?

Hm. I guess we'll never know.

A baby goat escapes the barn and Zoe and Wade run out to rescue it. Wade helps out by taking his shirt off:

I take back what I said before. THIS is Wade's most fashionable outfit of the entire series.

Do you think this episode is available in IMAX 3D?

George scrambles to make the wedding happen but even this AMAZING, FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL, SERIOUSLY GORG Monique Lhuillier dress cannot save it.

Talk about cake frosting. Lemon looks AMAZING.

Here is a closer look:

LOVE LOVE LOVE. And she even added one of her fav hair pieces!

After a heated fight and tons of sexual tension, Wade returns to his house to get ready for the wedding in, for realsies, his most fashionable outfit of the entire series:

Looks so dapper. Never thought that was possible.

Don't you think, Zo?

Oh. Okay.

Knock, knock. There's five minutes left in the episode. WHO COULD THAT BE?

I see that George is trying to pull off a "Wade" right now but he just looks gross and sweaty. I mean, not EVERYONE can pull off looking hot in the rain. It's a skill.

It's also a skill to lie on a bed looking like you're posing for a nude, oil painting.

"Boy, am I in trouble."

And there you have it: a traditional CW season finale. Which means, tons of storyline doors are open for business next season. Lemon and Lavon are a possibility again, Zoe will have to choose between two super hot guys and two super hot guys will have to compete for Zoe's heart. Though, in this episode alone, there is simply no competition. That is if Zoe's only requirements are looking hot in the rain, looking hot without a shirt on and looking hot on a bed after sex. In that case, piece of cake.

Disaster Drills & Departures - Part 2 of 2 - Heart to Hart

OK, I just got off the phone with Zoe and after our little Heart-to-Hart, I'm just going to focus on the other charcaters now...

Here we have Dr. Brick, looking his Sunday Southern best. I'm liking his blue dress shirt, but he needs another color to offset the khaki overload. Something up the alley of J. Peterman maybe?

And here we have the non-Zoe gang, just hanging out. More on Lemon and Magnolia in a second - let's look at George's outfit. Is his band about to open for The Black Keys? Is he moonlighting as a bouncer at a seedy crossroads bar? Or is be the new model/spokeperson for the V-neck top?

Love the color flow on Lemon here - we go from a lovely cream top, to a yellow skirt, and finally ending at a gold purse worthy of Serena van der Woodsen.

"Hello, is this Matt from YKYLF? I just want to say thanks for trashing Zoe in your previous post!"

"This is Matt, but I wasn't that harsh on her. In fact, I usually like her black and white outfits."

Akward pause.

"Oh... I see..."

Even more akward pause.

If Lemon and Magnolia were having an outfit-off, then poor Magnolia stands no chance. It's not that she looks bad or anything, she just looks so... safe. Having the same problems as the beforementioned Annabeth, Magnolia needs to try and step it up a notch.

That being said, upon closer look - Magnolia does indeed look very cute here. I think I would just like her more if she lost the pink coat or tried something less conservative (while remaining, of course, Southern and classy.) PS: props to Magnolia on the subtle yet stylish necklace.

Speaking of subtle, on the deepest of opposite days, we have Shelly in her... whatever the heck outfit this is supposed to be. It's patriotic, I'll give her that, but it also looks like she's wearing a picnic table cloth for a skirt, and I'm not talking about her apron.

And...are those studs on her shirt? I imagine that accidentally running into her would really hurt.

But wait, here to save the good people of Bluebell from spiky servers (and harsh recappers) is...

Lavon! In strides our reliable mayor, in his typical save-the-day fashion. Like Superman's red cape, the flash  of fashionable fedora means that help is on the way. Sigh. You guys? The streets of Bluebell are safe again.

Heart to Hart - Part 1 of 2 - The Stink Eye

After a long hiatus, we return to Bluebell with polka dots, tweed and lots o’ drama. Zoe's father flies to Alabama to perform George's father's surgery, fixing Mr. Tucker's heart but ultimately breaking Zoe's. Lavon pines after Lemon (again), Lemon tries to destroy Zoe (again) and Wade tries to figure out what do with the rest of his life (wait, you mean being the hot, nonchalant bartender isn't a "thing"?) Prepare yourself for an emotional roller coaster: fists are waved, smiles are forced and more tears are shed than at an Adele listening party. 

The episode begins with Zoe obsessively staring at her dad’s flight plan, giving us a little lesson in Facial Expressions While Staring at a Computer Screen 101:

This is pure gold, ladies and gentlemen. Acting classes around the world should study this episode. I can’t even figure out which one is my favorite, they’re all so damn good.

Wait. Found my fav:

Her facial expression might be “hardcore” but her outfit is far from it. Look at those super fab geometric earrings. But more on this later!

Lemon goes to the grocery store to prepare a care package for Mr. Tucker in a white, quilted cropped jacket and pink tie blouse. This outfit is okay. Not sure why she needs a jacket with a tie option as well as a blouse with a tie option. It's unnecessary and redundant.

It's unnecessary and redundant.

Meanwhile, Lavon stands in the corner looking like a major creep. Can't a man take a hint?

Apparently not.

Lemon looks like she's literally fearing for her life. God, Lavon. You're lucky you look great in your purple-stripes-green-khakis combo.

Back at the Rammer Jammer, we finally get a glimpse of Zoe’s full outfit as she prepares for a rumble with her dad. And let me say, this outfit is perfection for a father ass-whooping.

It’s also so quintessentially Zoe. Shorts? Check. Tweed? Check. Chanel bag? Double check!

In the C storyline, Shelly and Wade are pitted against each other to make a signature cocktail for the Rammer Jammer.

Leave it to the show’s stylist to make the show's only Asian actress dress like a Minnie Mouse/Rosie the Riveter hybrid.

At least Wade looks good. This is one of his best outfits yet ‘cause it ain’t plaid. And that’s enough.

Very blue collar.

“Random” wholeheartedly agrees:

This redhead is apparently Wanda, the niece of the Rammer Jammer’s owner. But does anyone remember her as the shampoo girl who had syphilis and spread it to that pastor awhile back? Hm. I guess they left that little detail out. I’d remember those 2009 feather earrings anywhere.

At the hospital, George wakes up next to his father, still dressed in his tuxedo shirt. The only time when wearing the same thing from the night before is acceptable.

Awaiting her father’s arrival, Zoe practices her stink eye still looking absolutely gorg in this outfit.

We even get a closer look at her jacket, which has a leather trim:

Not only is she the Queen of Pattern, but she just hit the texture jackpot as well. Tweed, leather, silk-- it don’t matter!

Zoe can’t maintain her anger and almost melts at the sight of her father. Maybe it’s because she realizes how alike they are in both medicine AND fashion.

Daddy Hart sure knows how to dress or more importantly, layer. Although, he is dressed a little too much like a Ralph Lauren ad for my taste.

Not sure about these X-Men Cyclops glasses either:

After a great family bonding heart surgery (Aw, I love those!!!), Zoe’s dad breaks her heart and says they can have a new relationship as “colleagues.”

The next day, Addie excitedly asks Zoe about her dad in this fiery, orange dress:

Addie is looking H-A-W-T hot. Her dress is a far cry from her tame florals and screams Rebecca Taylor. Was there a makeover scene that didn't make it into this episode or something??

Also, it’s a tiny bit see-through. Move over Zoe Hart, we’ve got another inappropriately dressed employee at the practice!

Zoe assures Addie that she is fine with her new relationship with her dad.  She also assures Addie that her style will continue to prevail with this amazing gray leopard print dress:

"Um, Addie? I’m the only one who’s allowed to dress like I’m hitting a club after work."

Look at that exposed zipper and  “made-for-her” cut! She is KILLING it. Even if it is the 10th leopard print dress of the season.

Like, seriously... is it OKAY for people to dress like this at a family practice, let alone, in a work environment? How come my doctor wears ugly patterned polos and pleated khakis? And his receptionist wears cat pins on her sweaters! CAT PINS!!!

One plane ticket to Bluebell, please!

Heart to Hart - Part 2 of 2 - Nobody Puts Zoe in the Corner

Meanwhile, at the Breeland Estate, Lemon and her minion, Cricket, have a Destroy Zoey Hart meeting.

How novel of them. They never do this!

Lemon is in detective mode in this satin, mustard trench, oddly paired with a pink dress and yellow tights. Yuck. When’s the next Destroy Yellow Tights meeting?

After the Destroy White Beaded Cardigan meeting, apparently:

Cricket is a disaster. Even the day before, she wore this unflattering halter dress:

Let’s be serious. No one wears halter dresses unless they’re making maid-of-honor speeches.

Lemon decides her plan of action for officially destroying Zoe Hart is to befriend her (hasn’t she tried this already?) and invite her to dinner. While preparing, she dons this amazing, gold hair pin:

Feeling devastated after being downgraded from daughter to colleague, Zoe unenthusiastically greets her "father." Though one can hardly tell she is unenthusiastic by her 70s print tie dress:

Love everything about this. The color, the print, her hair, her jewelry. Look at the feathery hem!

George pops by to invite them to dinner at the Breeland Estate. Unfortunately, he gets a little carried away with the collar on his new utility jacket: 

That collar is popped so high it’s practically a hood.

At least Zoe can look past that. Sure, she hasn’t quite mastered the stink eye. But when it comes to bedroom eyes, she sure is an expert.

Back at the mayor’s house, Lavon witnesses Wade’s talent for making cocktails while wearing his signature color purple. Love this purple button down and gray vest. Look at those little zippers!

On the night of the dinner, Lemon prepares Brick for her devious plot in this “looks-so-innocent-she-must-be-evil” outfit.

I LOVE this outfit. And maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for white tops with black bows, but there is nothing over-the-top, mismatched or yellow going on. Frankly, she kind of looks like Grace Kelly on crack.

We get a full body look at her outfit when she enthusiastically welcomes Zoe into her home.

We get to see a great dichotomy in styles between Lemon and Zoe. Zoe in her signature dark print colors and edgy heels. Lemon in her signature a-line skirt and classic pumps. Good work to both of you!

Even the Whitest Men on Earth agree:

"Why, yes, yes, I'm a WASP as well. Scotch all around!"

Zoe finally confronts her father about his abandonment and she does it, no holds barred, tears and all.

 
Lemon watches, semi-concerned because her plan to destroy Zoey has failed (yet again x 100). Does this girl have a walk-in closet exclusively for her hair accessories? Seriously.

Clearly, Zoe’s dad just needed a reality check. He apologizes and they end up like this:

Disappointed, Lemon walks with George to the Rammer Jammer in this beautiful, ivory swing coat. Don't let that monstrous collar on your left hit you in the face!

Let’s take a closer look at Lemon's coat:

This outfit is classy and monochrome and totally unlike Lemon. It’s like it's laundry day or something.

Even drunk Lavon can’t resist the monochrome Lemon:

But wait, where is George? Oh. Just being blinded by headlights.

Aaaand bringing us back exactly where we were before. Lavon still wants Lemon. Zoe still wants George. George still doesn't know about Lavon and Lemon. Did anything actually happen in this episode?

Oh, George's father's alive. And I think Zoe and her father made up. Ugh.

Now that that's out of the way...