The Big Day - Part 1 of 2 - Let Them Wear Cake

On the day of the Breeland-Tucker wedding, a storm hits Bluebell forcing George and Lemon to relocate the wedding and Wade and Zoe to take cover in a barn. In a surprising (yet, let's face it, utterly predictable) chain of events, George calls off the wedding to confess his love for Zoe... just after she finishes sexytime with Wade. Talk about bad timing. HoD's first season finale follows CW's formula to a T: a disastrous wedding + a love triangle with a bunch of hot people + exposed male body parts just because - believability one hell of a season finale. 

 

The episode opens with a dream. Because, you know, we don't get to see that a lot anymore:

 

For a second, I thought George was wearing a cardigan with shoulder pads. Which, though nightmarish, is at least more interesting than what he's actually wearing.

Why, in George's dream, do Lemon and Zoe both wear excessive amounts of jewelry? It doesn't really bother me that much; I'm too distracted by their textured wedding dresses.

 

They look like they're wearing mounds of cake frosting. 

Not necessarily a bad thing.

 

Also, why, in George's dream, does Lavon dress super fab in a white tux?

It's time to give up when your nemesis dresses more fashionably than you even in your dreams.

 

Lemon calls George, interrupting his pre-wedding jitters dream and looking wedding-ready straight out of bed. Wow, this is the first time Lemon's hair isn't "done" and my hair will STILL never look as good as this.

 

Zoe, desperate to make up with Wade, comes bearing gifts of creme brulee coffee (does that really exist?) in this amazing red textured jacket.

 

I honestly cannot even deal with how cute this outfit is. It hurts just looking at it: red jacket, white tie blouse, leopard print belt, black trousers and platform booties. And that bag! GOOD LORDDDD. Perfect for objecting holy matrimony.

   

 

Unfortunately, this outfit won't help her win George back. Though after seeing the wedding photography, maybe that's a good thing...

 

Lavon comes to warn George of a storm while wearing possibly his most fashionable outfit of the entire series:

Seriously, Lavon. You're killing it. Head-to-toe. Killing it.

 

Even Swan agrees.

"What?? ...I swear, I style myself."

 

Back at the Breeland estate, the bridal party awaits Lemon's arrival. Magnolia prepares for her maid-of-honor role by wearing this pale yellow 3D dress.

 

This dress is a homerun. Look at the back:

 

Cricket, on the other hand, prepares for the wedding by gluing a bunch of Skittles to a terry top.

 

A storm hits Bluebell, just as Lavon predicted, and the bridesmaids struggle to keep Lemon from finding out. Magnolia dons this over-the-top flower headpiece, which reminds me of what I wore to my cousin's wedding as a flower girl in 1993.

 

1993?!!?!?!?!?!?!

Whoa, sorry, Lem. I heard the 90s were coming back...?

The Big Day - Part 2 of 2 - Zoe vs. Wade's Abs: Lightning Round

Zoe drives to Mobile to do some shopping and, of course, avoid the Royal Wedding. On the way back to Bluebell, she picks up Wade, whose car has broken down. They somehow end up in a barn, soaking wet with a bunch of a goats.

CW. Seriously. You really know how to write a show.

 

At this point, we know Zoe and Wade are gonna get it on. The question now is when. Wade shows off his arms in possibly HIS most fashionable outfit of the entire series.

Look, I know, I know, it's just a wifebeater and jeans but he always wears plaid and-- oh, forget it. IT'S THE BICEPS.

 

Zoe doesn't look too upset being stuck in a barn with Biceps. She looks super cute and all smiley in her very see-through white blouse.

 

Too bad his focus is on another girl:

 

Back at the bridal party, Annabeth tries to cheer Lemon up in this fantastic taupe pink feather dress, flower earrings and statement necklace.

 

I am a little confused about her hair though. It's still in the prep process... right?

Hm. I guess we'll never know.

 

A baby goat escapes the barn and Zoe and Wade run out to rescue it. Wade helps out by taking his shirt off:

I take back what I said before. THIS is Wade's most fashionable outfit of the entire series.

Do you think this episode is available in IMAX 3D?

 

George scrambles to make the wedding happen but even this AMAZING, FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL, SERIOUSLY GORG Monique Lhuillier dress cannot save it.

Talk about cake frosting. Lemon looks AMAZING.

 

Here is a closer look:

LOVE LOVE LOVE. And she even added one of her fav hair pieces!

 

After a heated fight and tons of sexual tension, Wade returns to his house to get ready for the wedding in, for realsies, his most fashionable outfit of the entire series:

Looks so dapper. Never thought that was possible.

 

Don't you think, Zo?

Oh. Okay.

 

Knock, knock. There's five minutes left in the episode. WHO COULD THAT BE?

I see that George is trying to pull off a "Wade" right now but he just looks gross and sweaty. I mean, not EVERYONE can pull off looking hot in the rain. It's a skill.

 

It's also a skill to lie on a bed looking like you're posing for a nude, oil painting.

 

"Boy, am I in trouble."

 

And there you have it: a traditional CW season finale. Which means, tons of storyline doors are open for business next season. Lemon and Lavon are a possibility again, Zoe will have to choose between two super hot guys and two super hot guys will have to compete for Zoe's heart. Though, in this episode alone, there is simply no competition. That is if Zoe's only requirements are looking hot in the rain, looking hot without a shirt on and looking hot on a bed after sex. In that case, piece of cake.

Disaster Drills & Departures - Part 1 of 2 - Black and White and... Cream?!

Welcome back loyal readers, how's your Hart feeling this week? Blue? Red? Chartreuse? This week's episode started with the blame game, as Zoe blamed herself when one of her friends faced a health crisis and she didn’t notice the symptoms (c'mon doc!) Meanwhile, with much encouragement from Lavon, Wade explores the idea of opening his own bar in Bluebell (I suggest the name "Wine 'Em Dine 'Em"). Meanwhile, Lemon plans a romantic night for George, hoping to get their Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom[ed] relationship back on track. Got your defibrillators ready? Then let's go!

 

Here we have two generations of Harts, but only one fashionista. With Pappy Hart donning the 1980's online dating video mustache and a serious case of dad-clothes, it makes us wonder where Zoe got her fashion sense from. In her go-to black and white getup, Zoe simply stuns.

 

Let's take a closer look at that coat, which is almost as long as her doctors coat. Oh, idea! She should def start wearing that in her office from now on. In fact, cough-cough, I'm suddenly feeling sick...

 

But from a futher away view we see her shoes - and I'm just sort of "eh" on them. I know she's breaking her black-or-white method - but maybe she could've worn neutral shoes that wouldn't compete with the coat?

   

 

Sans-future-lab-coat, Dr. Hart shows off (in my humble opinion) her best assests in her killer tight leather skirt. Meanwhile, we have Annabeth in a nice floral dress, but it doesn't really take any chances now, does it? In the eternal words of Miranda Hobbes, "You gonna lose some to win some!"

 

How many variations of black and white does Zoe have in her wardrobe? She kind of reminds me of that girl from Seinfeld who always wore the exact same outfit.

 

 

"Hi, this is Zoe Hart, is Matt Solyst there?... Hi Matt - yeah I read your You Know You Love Fashion recap about me always wearing black and white, and I just wanted to let you know that I am currently wearing blue jeans and a cream colored jacket, so SUCK IT!"

Click.

I done been told, y'all.

Disaster Drills & Departures - Part 2 of 2 - Heart to Hart

OK, I just got off the phone with Zoe and after our little Heart-to-Hart, I'm just going to focus on the other characters now...

Here we have Dr. Brick, looking his Sunday Southern best. I'm liking his blue dress shirt, but he needs another color to offset the khaki overload. Something up the alley of J. Peterman maybe?

 

And here we have the non-Zoe gang, just hanging out. More on Lemon and Magnolia in a second - let's look at George's outfit. Is his band about to open for The Black Keys? Is he moonlighting as a bouncer at a seedy crossroads bar? Or is be the new model/spokeperson for the V-neck top?

 

Love the color flow on Lemon here - we go from a lovely cream top, to a yellow skirt, and finally ending at a gold purse worthy of Serena van der Woodsen.

 

"Hello, is this Matt from YKYLF? I just want to say thanks for trashing Zoe in your previous post!"

"This is Matt, but I wasn't that harsh on her. In fact, I usually like her black and white outfits."

Akward pause.

"Oh... I see..."

Even more akward pause.

 

If Lemon and Magnolia were having an outfit-off, then poor Magnolia stands no chance. It's not that she looks bad or anything, she just looks so... safe. Having the same problems as the beforementioned Annabeth, Magnolia needs to try and step it up a notch.

 

That being said, upon closer look - Magnolia does indeed look very cute here. I think I would just like her more if she lost the pink coat or tried something less conservative (while remaining, of course, Southern and classy.) PS: props to Magnolia on the subtle yet stylish necklace.

 

Speaking of subtle, on the deepest of opposite days, we have Shelly in her... whatever the heck outfit this is supposed to be. It's patriotic, I'll give her that, but it also looks like she's wearing a picnic table cloth for a skirt, and I'm not talking about her apron.

 

 

And...are those studs on her shirt? I imagine that accidentally running into her would really hurt.

 

But wait, here to save the good people of Bluebell from spiky servers (and harsh recappers) is...

Lavon! In strides our reliable mayor, in his typical save-the-day fashion. Like Superman's red cape, the flash  of fashionable fedora means that help is on the way. Sigh. You guys? The streets of Bluebell are safe again.

The Race & The Relationship - Hint: Both Include Speedbumps

Well, there was definitely a race this week. The relationship(s)? Not so much. Pretty much everyone was either breaking up, fighting, revealing feelings, hiding feelings, misreading signals or some combination of those. Every couple (or every two people that aspire to be a couple) in town participated in the popular annual race, attempting to win $5,000 - Lemon and George, on the advice of their minister, joined the race for "marriage counseling", and Wade asked Zoe to be on his team because of her book smarts and killer whipstitch (although we all know that he really wants her to be his teammate in the sack). Once the racing started, it quickly became less a field day of fun and more a field day for feelings - all the pent up barbs and opinions came out to play! Then Rose's appendix burst there was so much drama. See? This is why I avoid races, and all athletic activity in general - racing causes physical and emotional scarring - here's the proof!

 

We first see Zoe in this episode rolled fresh out of bed when George comes by with a coffee to discuss their kissing the night before. Naturally (and completely unrealistically), Zoe just happens to be wearing a gorg pair of silk pj's:

I'm sorry, I thought your name was "Zoe" not "Zooey". So, you BOTH have cute PJs now? Where are you getting them, and furthermore, why do you look so good lazing around in said PJs?! I look more like an extra for Trailer Park Boys when I am hanging around in my loungewear. Just when I was getting excited about the PJs - and the fact that George and Zoe might be finally heading to coupledom - he tells her he thinks they should just be friends for now. Hm, maybe you should have gone more Zooey with your PJ choice, Dr. Hart. 

 

She is looking much more polished later walking through town in this tribal-print romper (I think it's a romper?):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This print and colour are SO Zoe, aren't they? This rockin' spiky necklace is "oh so Zoe" too:

The necklace is slightly tribal also, which goes great with this graphic print. That sad expression definitely doesn't match though - but I would probably look a bit down if the guy I was in love with told me that he decided to go to counselling with his estranged fiance. Falling for emotionally unavailable men? That is SO Zoe!

 

Speaking of the counselling - normally I would say Lemon needs some serious therapy to break away from her obsession with old-lady outfits, but I actually do not mind the white lace dress she wears to the Minister's office for her and George's first "session":

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This has a vintage feel to it, as opposed to just an OLD feel. I like the addition of the painted-on red lip - if only the smile underneath weren't so painted on, too. It's an appropriately "virginal" dress for a meeting with a Minister I suppose (not that I would know about either point). Although this is rather ironic since they are basically having the meeting because of Lemon's decidedly un-Christian indiscretions. Given her history, this part of the meeting definitely seemed more up her alley:

Meow. Kinky.

 

Later, Zoe listens to the heartbeat of the wall (aka. eavesdrops on Brick and Lemon in the other room) in a slick blouse and killer red heels - check em out!:

Yeah, just another day at the office! Just a regular doctor in my leather leggings and red pumps! Very practical, as always (hey now, if you get blood on them, it won't show!).

 

Let's get a better look at the blouse:

A little bit country, a little bit rock n' roll. Much more appropriate for a doctor's office. Well, at least a doctor's office on television. 

 

Then it's time for race day! If you're anything like me, the point of going to an event like this is to see what people are wearing, and Lemon shows up looking very J Crew-chic in red pants, a printed blouse and jaunty sunhat:

I could do without the large #4 right across the front, but other than that, it's a winner! We so rarely see Lemon in pants, so that's refreshing. I guess she realized that a sequined cardigan and floral dress were probably not going to cut it building a wheelbarrow and shucking corn, but still understood that an occasion such as this is no reason not to look cute. Amen, Lemon. 

 

Zoe, on the other hand, dresses kind of like a 13 year old boy for the race:

Sigh, so boring Zoe. I realize you want to be comfy and warm and practical on such a day but do you really think Golden Boy George is going to notice you in your flared denim and gray hoodie when Lemon looks like she walked out of the Anthropologie catalogue?! You're a doctor - use them brains!

 

At least one can always count on Levon Hayes to look nonchalantly polished and sexy - with a little fun thrown in - even while carrying a crutch under one arm:

Thank you for getting the 'race-day' look RIGHT, Mr. Mayor. Lovin' the fedora, violet shirt and vest combo with jeans. I certainly wish the public servants where I live looked this good.

 

If only all the men in Bluebell "got it". To my chagrin, Tom was - yet again - wearing a cheesy sweater with an animal on it:

Although this is a slight improvement over the deer butt sweater of two weeks ago, it is still not very stylin'. Obviously clothes aren't everything to everyone though because a cute redhead asked Tom to be on her race team and they kissed and everything! They are SUPER cute together! Just wait until she opens his closet and sees his rows of sweaters with animal faces on them - if she sticks with him after that, they should just get married. 

 

Looks like fashion mattered in the end because George and Lemon won the race - and realized they still have a spark between them. And the episode ended off with pretty much everyone in town mad at Zoe. In other words, she's back to where she started! Don't worry, Zoe - I'm sure they're just jealous that you're so good at butting into other peoples' business. Small-town folk really pride themselves on doing that, and you're showing them up.

Or maybe they are just jealous of how great you look in leather leggings - who can tell!

So, what do you think - Will Zoe be able to get everyone back on her side? Will we see a wedding in Bluebell before the end of the season? Does your doctor wear red pumps (mine doesn't)?

Destiny & Denial - Part 1 of 2 - Not just a river in Egypt

This might just be the episode we’ve all been waiting for. Lemon and George finally part ways, opening the door for George + Zoe = TRU LUV. George is running through town like his breakup ain’t no thang, while Lemon is plotting ways (aka using Pintrest to find unreal cake recipes) to get George back. But before she can do that, Zoe and George run off to Nawlins and pretend to be married. Also, there is a Gilbert and "Southivan" musical revue, and nearly everyone in town is involved. Naturally.

 

Obviously when you cheat on your fiancé with someone like Mayor Lavon Hayes, the first thing that comes to mind to spark a reconciliation is to bake them a cake. That WILL do the trick.

 

Cake tastes better if you bake it while wearing a cute apron, btw. Old Breeland family secret.

 

Zoe, on the other hand, takes the “Let me bring you soup. It shows that I’m your caring friend” approach, which I’ve seen successfully mastered on many occasions.

 

Aside from a cook-off, these ladies are in a seriously fashion duel as well. Zoe’s killing it in a slightly more sophisticated than normal outfit. I am totally loving the skirt and this button up blouse.

She tops it off with some seriously serious tie-up wedge clogs. Oy. That’s a lot of shoe for such a teeny lady.

 

Lemon, on the other hand, is looking lovely as always. From the calf up, there is nothing cutting edge about this look but I love the feminine jewels, gold fleck sweater, and dotted dress. Let's peep a closeup:

See? Lovely.

 

But then from the calf down she’s rocking the gold stiletto version of Dorothy’s slippers. I bet Lemon wishes she were in Kansas right about now. Dorothy didn’t go canoodling with the Tin Man only to have Scarecrow dump her sorry behind.

 

DING DING DING! It's a Cake versus Soup-off! May the best shoe win.

 

The ladies run into George who is literally SKIPPING about town, high on life and his new found freedom.

Aside from his sick stance that could also double as a scene from A Chorus Line, George is dressed to kill. His shoes and vest match PERFECTLY and everything else is just icing on the Pinterest cake. Zoe better land this man fast or he won’t last long.

 

Zoe bumps into George - still in denial - and learns that he has a bucket list that he intends on revisiting now that he’s single This involves buying a motorcycle, working on his best James Dean and heading to New Orleans to take in some great jazz, all by his lonesome. YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING!

 

Zoe goes back to the tried, tested, and true short-short.

Is it just me or do her shoes look 20 times too big? And...is that a one piece romper-type deal?

 

 Anywhoo, Zoe gets the predictable “Come join me in New Orleans to listen to jazz music” call, and off she goes. They run into a couple on their honeymoon so naturally, they also pretend to be newlyweds.  It's believable. Just look at the way they match. Soon they start spinnin' yarns of their travels around the world and get swept up in the whole lie. Bad idea, lovebirds!

So many things are wrong with this scene. First off, Zoe’s heart is about to get stomped, second of all, George Tucker was SINGING on stage, and lastly, some reject American Idol is performing Country music at said bar. Did I mention NONE of these songs even had an ounce of jazz music in them? George is clearly in denial about a lot more than his relationship.

 

One thing you can’t deny is their chemistry. These two look SO cute together. Both in black, Zoe adds some pizazz with her sparkly top. Can’t figure out if she’s in the short shorts or a skirt though. Regardless, this outfit lands her a makeout sesh with George. FINALLY!!

For the extra WOW factor, she sports a gold sparkly jacket. But you know what they say Dr. Hart. All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade. Enjoy this night while it lasts!

Destiny & Denial - Part 2 of 2 - Destiny is knocking

While George and Zoe were off pretending to be newlyweds in New Orleans, the rest of Bluebell was gearing up for Dash's "Gilbert and Southivan" charity revue, thus fulfilling their destiny - to live in a crazy little town and dress up as people from the 1940’s every. Single. Weekend.

Lemon is freaking out back stage because she discovers George is missing. Oddly enough, I don’t think this was her performance outfit. She just likes to wear cut off gloves with bows on them for fun. While I did snark at these, they are KIND of cool. I think.

 

Little Magnolia can’t keep her mouth shut so she decides to tell her Dad the news of Lemon and George’s breakup. That's a hard pill to swallow, even while dressed as the Very Model of a Modern Major General. I must say Brick looks quite dapper, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be in the middle of Bluebell’s biggest breakup looking like this!

 

While Lemon searches high and low for George, we learn that Wade is keeping it real in plaid. Plaid is to Wade like these crazy town events are to Bluebell. Part of your daily life.

 

Zoe and George return to Bluebell and within moments 1) George decks Lavon in the face, and 2) crumbles into a pile of tears and 3) shows up at the Breelands' house. 

This is the first time in 19 episodes that we see Lemon completely undone and wearing something that a normal person being might be caught wearing while crying their eyes out and eating copious amounts of Hagen Daas. Congrats, Lemon. You're human. Well done.

 

So what will it be? Will George and Lemon find a way to make things work? Or will George’s feelings for Zoe and the free life prevail? Most importantly, did Brick ever learn all the words to his G&S number?

Bachelorettes and Bullets - Part 1 of 1 - NOT a good mixture

Doesn't the title of this episode sound like the latest Tarantino movie? Don't worry - no bachelorettes were harmed in the making of this episode (unless you count wearing a Pepto-coloured sparkly shirt a crime). Anyhoo, Lemon and her girls embark on her bachelorette party. Luckily, her 14-year-old sister was smart enough to realize that Lemon's original plan was going to be super-boring and booked a super-trashy stripper bus instead. Her dad was in Animal House - I'm pretty sure he'd be proud. Lemon and Lavon's big secret was finally revealed, Zoe gets a date with another cute guy, and both the bachelorette/bachelor parties end up ruined. Great foreshadowing with the "and Bullets" part of the title, HoD writers.

 

Zoe wore what I would say is one of her cutest outfits to date. It's a good thing it was cute because she literally wore it for the entire episode (for reals - ONE OUTFIT):

 

I love me a brightly coloured pair of pants. And I love the pairing with the neutral trenchcoat, purse and wedge boots.

THE WEDGES!! #so #cute And, I wished I lived in a city where I could wear my trench artfully tied behind my back, providing a nice waist cinch, but alas, it rains about every five minutes where I live. Interestingly, this coat is sort of a cross between a hoodie and a trench (am I wrong, or does crossing anything with a hoodie automatically up the comfort factor by, like, a thousand?). And I love that this outfit is trendy, yet classic.

I gotta ask though, Zoe, why do you always carry a top-handled bag? I mean, just because you're a small-town doctor doesn't mean you have to carry around one of these! And isn't it annoying to not have your hands free? Doesn't it get hard to stick your hands into everyone's business when you only have one available?

It has a strap, ya know.

 

Anyway, back to the rest outfit - check out the polka-dot blouse with front-ruffle!

I also love me some polka-dots. And a ruffly blouse. And natural, smooth waves. This is exactly how I want to look on a daily basis. Well, minus the worried facial expression. This expression is courtesy of her conversation with George wherein she not only learns that he saw Lavon and Lemon kissing, but also lies and tells him that Lavon was at home all night (and therefore could NOT be drinking and kissing someone else's fiance at the Rammer Jammer).

 

Things look up when Zoe gets a date with a cute new patient named Jesse.

Dang. I'd like to bandage him up good, if yaknowwhatImean *wink-nudge*. You know, for a small town, Bluebell sure has a lot of cute, eligible men up in it! Of course, if I looked like Dr. Hart I'd probably have cute boys coming in my door every day, too. Keep up the realism, CW!

 

Meanwhile, it's time for Lemon's extremely boring bachelorette party - yahoo!! You know it's not going to go well when your ex-buddy shows up in a better outfit than you:

Bravo, Annabeth - you are rockin' that green jacket (although the material looks a bit like astroturf) and floral skirt. Not to mention the 40's waves and smug smirk.

 

Although, Annabeth's outfit doesn't really say "bachelorette party" to me. I'm getting more of an "afternoon tea in the garden with grandma" message. Still, at least it's colourful, which is more than I can say for Lemon's ensemble:

Oh Lemon, Lemon, Lemon. Why do you insist on dressing like either a grandmother or a little girl? This is sort of a mix of both - little girl gold babydoll dress with bow, topped with a nubby long old lady coat. And white tights?! Who are you, Alice? Well, this ain't Wonderland, baby - you're in Alabama now. While AnnaB's outfit says garden party, Lemon's says Easter Sunday church service.

 

And this does not look like church.

 

The boys at George's bachelor party are not even worth mentioning in the style department. Plaid. Denim. And this unfortunate sweater on cutie Tom:

Dear God, Tom. What is this?! Even PETA would throw a can of paint on that horrid jacket.

 

I know you love animals and all, but do you really need to wear them on your sweater? There's a way to do quirky sweaters right, and sporting an animal's butt on the back is not it:

Even WADE is lecturing you about this look! And he's wearing a lumberjack coat and carrying a gun! (Note to our American readers: we Canadians do NOT dress like lumberjacks. Nor do we dress like this).

 

Sigh. I'm too exhausted from all the bad fashion and drama to go any further with this recap. In a nutshell, pretty much everyone is mad at Zoe right now, George is now back on the market, and clearly I need to move to Bluebell because that's where all the cute boys are. Also? Everyone needs to stop wearing heavy coats and sweaters and tights - you live in Alabama!

What do you think? Will Lemon and George get back together? Will Zoe end the season single? Will Lemon stop dressing like an old lady?

Heart to Hart - Part 1 of 2 - The Stink Eye

After a long hiatus, we return to Bluebell with polka dots, tweed and lots o’ drama. Zoe's father flies to Alabama to perform George's father's surgery, fixing Mr. Tucker's heart but ultimately breaking Zoe's. Lavon pines after Lemon (again), Lemon tries to destroy Zoe (again) and Wade tries to figure out what do with the rest of his life (wait, you mean being the hot, nonchalant bartender isn't a "thing"?) Prepare yourself for an emotional roller coaster: fists are waved, smiles are forced and more tears are shed than at an Adele listening party. 

 

The episode begins with Zoe obsessively staring at her dad’s flight plan, giving us a little lesson in Facial Expressions While Staring at a Computer Screen 101:

This is pure gold, ladies and gentlemen. Acting classes around the world should study this episode. I can’t even figure out which one is my favorite, they’re all so damn good.

Wait. Found my fav:

Her facial expression might be “hardcore” but her outfit is far from it. Look at those super fab geometric earrings. But more on this later!

 

Lemon goes to the grocery store to prepare a care package for Mr. Tucker in a white, quilted cropped jacket and pink tie blouse. This outfit is okay. Not sure why she needs a jacket with a tie option as well as a blouse with a tie option. It's unnecessary and redundant.

It's unnecessary and redundant.

 

Meanwhile, Lavon stands in the corner looking like a major creep. Can't a man take a hint?

 

Apparently not.

Lemon looks like she's literally fearing for her life. God, Lavon. You're lucky you look great in your purple-stripes-green-khakis combo.

 

Back at the Rammer Jammer, we finally get a glimpse of Zoe’s full outfit as she prepares for a rumble with her dad. And let me say, this outfit is perfection for a father ass-whooping.

It’s also so quintessentially Zoe. Shorts? Check. Tweed? Check. Chanel bag? Double check!



In the C storyline, Shelly and Wade are pitted against each other to make a signature cocktail for the Rammer Jammer.

Leave it to the show’s stylist to make the show's only Asian actress dress like a Minnie Mouse/Rosie the Riveter hybrid.

 

At least Wade looks good. This is one of his best outfits yet ‘cause it ain’t plaid. And that’s enough.

Very blue collar.



“Random” wholeheartedly agrees:


This redhead is apparently Wanda, the niece of the Rammer Jammer’s owner. But does anyone remember her as the shampoo girl who had syphilis and spread it to that pastor awhile back? Hm. I guess they left that little detail out. I’d remember those 2009 feather earrings anywhere.



At the hospital, George wakes up next to his father, still dressed in his tuxedo shirt. The only time when wearing the same thing from the night before is acceptable.




Awaiting her father’s arrival, Zoe practices her stink eye still looking absolutely gorg in this outfit.



We even get a closer look at her jacket, which has a leather trim:

Not only is she the Queen of Pattern, but she just hit the texture jackpot as well. Tweed, leather, silk-- it don’t matter!


Zoe can’t maintain her anger and almost melts at the sight of her father. Maybe it’s because she realizes how alike they are in both medicine AND fashion.

Daddy Hart sure knows how to dress or more importantly, layer. Although, he is dressed a little too much like a Ralph Lauren ad for my taste.


Not sure about these X-Men Cyclops glasses either:



After a great family bonding heart surgery (Aw, I love those!!!), Zoe’s dad breaks her heart and says they can have a new relationship as “colleagues.”



The next day, Addie excitedly asks Zoe about her dad in this fiery, orange dress:

Addie is looking H-A-W-T hot. Her dress is a far cry from her tame florals and screams Rebecca Taylor. Was there a makeover scene that didn't make it into this episode or something??

Also, it’s a tiny bit see-through. Move over Zoe Hart, we’ve got another inappropriately dressed employee at the practice!



Zoe assures Addie that she is fine with her new relationship with her dad.  She also assures Addie that her style will continue to prevail with this amazing gray leopard print dress:

"Um, Addie? I’m the only one who’s allowed to dress like I’m hitting a club after work."

 

Look at that exposed zipper and  “made-for-her” cut! She is KILLING it. Even if it is the 10th leopard print dress of the season.

Like, seriously... is it OKAY for people to dress like this at a family practice, let alone, in a work environment? How come my doctor wears ugly patterned polos and pleated khakis? And his receptionist wears cat pins on her sweaters! CAT PINS!!!

One plane ticket to Bluebell, please!

Heart to Hart - Part 2 of 2 - Nobody Puts Zoe in the Corner

Meanwhile, at the Breeland Estate, Lemon and her minion, Cricket, have a Destroy Zoey Hart meeting.

How novel of them. They never do this!


Lemon is in detective mode in this satin, mustard trench, oddly paired with a pink dress and yellow tights. Yuck. When’s the next Destroy Yellow Tights meeting?

 

After the Destroy White Beaded Cardigan meeting, apparently:


Cricket is a disaster. Even the day before, she wore this unflattering halter dress:

Let’s be serious. No one wears halter dresses unless they’re making maid-of-honor speeches.


Lemon decides her plan of action for officially destroying Zoe Hart is to befriend her (hasn’t she tried this already?) and invite her to dinner. While preparing, she dons this amazing, gold hair pin:


Feeling devastated after being downgraded from daughter to colleague, Zoe unenthusiastically greets her "father." Though one can hardly tell she is unenthusiastic by her 70s print tie dress:


Love everything about this. The color, the print, her hair, her jewelry. Look at the feathery hem!

 

George pops by to invite them to dinner at the Breeland Estate. Unfortunately, he gets a little carried away with the collar on his new utility jacket: 

That collar is popped so high it’s practically a hood.

 

At least Zoe can look past that. Sure, she hasn’t quite mastered the stink eye. But when it comes to bedroom eyes, she sure is an expert.



Back at the mayor’s house, Lavon witnesses Wade’s talent for making cocktails while wearing his signature color purple. Love this purple button down and gray vest. Look at those little zippers!



On the night of the dinner, Lemon prepares Brick for her devious plot in this “looks-so-innocent-she-must-be-evil” outfit.



I LOVE this outfit. And maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for white tops with black bows, but there is nothing over-the-top, mismatched or yellow going on. Frankly, she kind of looks like Grace Kelly on crack.


We get a full body look at her outfit when she enthusiastically welcomes Zoe into her home.

We get to see a great dichotomy in styles between Lemon and Zoe. Zoe in her signature dark print colors and edgy heels. Lemon in her signature a-line skirt and classic pumps. Good work to both of you!

Even the Whitest Men on Earth agree:

"Why, yes, yes, I'm a WASP as well. Scotch all around!"

 

Zoe finally confronts her father about his abandonment and she does it, no holds barred, tears and all.


 
Lemon watches, semi-concerned because her plan to destroy Zoey has failed (yet again x 100). Does this girl have a walk-in closet exclusively for her hair accessories? Seriously.



Clearly, Zoe’s dad just needed a reality check. He apologizes and they end up like this:



Disappointed, Lemon walks with George to the Rammer Jammer in this beautiful, ivory swing coat. Don't let that monstrous collar on your left hit you in the face!


Let’s take a closer look at Lemon's coat:

This outfit is classy and monochrome and totally unlike Lemon. It’s like it's laundry day or something.

Even drunk Lavon can’t resist the monochrome Lemon:


But wait, where is George? Oh. Just being blinded by headlights.

Aaaand bringing us back exactly where we were before. Lavon still wants Lemon. Zoe still wants George. George still doesn't know about Lavon and Lemon. Did anything actually happen in this episode?

Oh, George's father's alive. And I think Zoe and her father made up. Ugh.

Now that that's out of the way...

Tributes and Triangles - Part 1 of 2 - Man of the Year, Man of the Beers

Brick is hit with disappointment when George is named Bluebell's Man of the Year, and Lavon is hit with mega-angst at the task of hosting a cocktail party in George's honor. Zoe to the rescue! Or not, when she pretty much reveals to the entire room that she has feelings for George. Lemon's not to happy about that, but still goes on to perform a jazzy number (complete with glittery hat) in George's honor. Southern women. They're so strong.

 

It's time to announce the winner of the MOTY (Man of the Year) award. Check out the engravings on the box containing the envelope. Very Neverending Story.

 

Hey Lavon, would you like some mustard with those pants? Actually, it's not so bad. A nice change of pace from the usual khaki that gets paired with navy blazers. And I'm digging Zoe's form fitting jeans, but what's up with homegirl's top?

 

Seriously, it looks like a collage of megapixels threw up on her sweater. Am I wrong? Look, Zoe would look adorable in a potato sack, but with her vast empire of a wardrobe, certainly she could've worn something more "Zoe" and less "Schmoey".

 

Back to the MOTY event (the first of three for this week's Time-Honored Bluebell Tradition). Here is Brick house in his standard "I'm a doctor and doctors wear boring suits all the time" apparel. Brick, it's no wonder you didn't win the MOTY!

So, I'm wondering... is Brick a secret fan of the Paul Thomas Anderson classic Magnolia? I'd like to think that he is, and that his daughter's name isn't just a Southern thing. Nevermind that the movie probably came out after she was born. Details, you guys. Much like the cute details on her dress. We'll take a closer look in a bit.

 

Anyway, the MOTY award goes to... George and his checkered orange tie! Congrats to both of you.

Loving Lemon's cream colored top. That scarf makes it classy and elegant, yet somehow sexy all at once.

 

"It's dangerous to confuse children with angels" said the great Magnolia film — and it's also dangerous to confuse that a 14-year old Magnolia can dress like Rachel Zoe is her mother. But you know, it's a TV show, and I'm absolutely loving her pink lace. And again with the fine details - here we see her matching pink flower hairpiece.

 

What's Magnolia so enamored with? Could it be Wade's (lack of) wardrobe?

Well... he is wearing a necklace...

 

Speaking of jewelry, nothing JUMPS out at me about Lemon's outfit, except maybe those earings. That's a whole lot of glitz going on.

 

Contrast that to the nothing going on with Magnolia. Not to be the prude-police, but she's is 14-years-old and dressing like a 24 year old. She's not even old enough to WATCH Magnolia!

 

Wade, deep in thought and deep in layers of cotton, seems to agree with me.

 

It would be nice if Wade could take a style cue from Lavon. You know, I'm not sure he's a Mayor so much as he's a dashing and debonair CIA agent. Because he sure-as-shoot dresses like one!

 

And his date for the evening brings it with the outfit of the episode. I call this a "Triple S Dress" - sleek, seductive and sexy. Well done, Zoe.

 

Well done on your outfit, Z-dwag, but not well done on letting everyone know you made up a speech about how amazing George is, only to have his FIANCE find out about it. Gulp.

 

Puppy dog faces won't save you now, kids.

 

But maybe a good night's sleep will help, and in PJs with palm trees, no less.

That's it, darling. Dream of a beach vacay, far, far away from these Bluebell people.

Tributes and Triangles - Part 2 of 2 - Zoe Bon Jovi

Anyway, here's Magnolia and Wade working on a song for George's MOTY award party.

Until...

 

Dr. Brick puts on his overprotective father coat and rescues Magnolia from the "scummy" Wade. Obviously Dr. Brick isn't a flannel fan.

I must admit that Magnolia does look young and innocent. I'm liking the pink/purple color play that Magnolia's workin'. It's more age-appropriate than the Panama City "Sailor wanna hump-hump" bar outfit she had on before. Good thinking.

 

At least one of the Breeland sisters is thinking. I'm trying to read Lemon's thoughts:
A) "I'm so superficially attractive in this Lemon-colored dress that it's giving me cramps."
B) "Why can't I ever wear black, and that stupid Zoe gets to in every other scene?"
C) "How did that show Lost end again? They were all dead or something?"

 

Lavon, in a crisp and laid-back cream blazer responds, "Yes Lemon, they were all dead... or something like that... actually, I have no idea either... but I love you like Jack loved Kate. Do you love my chambray shirt and linen jacket?"

 

You know who's not feeling the love? Zoe, who's had enough of her jerk father. She wants to legally change her last name, and I particularly liked the "Zoe Bon Jovi" idea. Seems that she's already started dressing like a musician, what with the red leggings and glitz trim. Rock on.

 

But the music biz is tough. Why, at the MOTY awards that night, a drunk Wade can't bring himself to sing a song about his friend George. Is it jealousy, or is he simply mad at himself that nobody's taking him seriously?

Either way, his Kings of Leon inspired black leather jacket is very rock-n-roll. Zoe Bon Jovi would approve.

 

Wade's musical number was a bomb, so onto the next bit! Is this the return of Leroxy?! No... it's just Lemon and her fellow Belles putting on a show during the MOTYs. She looks like the Southern Belle version of Minnie Mouse, which is very much a compliment in my book. I mean, do you have any idea how hard that is to pull off?

 

However, tragedy strikes backstage, as George's dad has a heart attack. Even during a time of drama, Lemon still manages to be a fashionista in her brown trench coat. Good call. This is not a time for Southern Minnie Mouse.

 

Nor is it a time for grudges. Zoe proves how much she's come to love her small-town neighbors and calls her surgeon father to come down and operate on George's father. I'm distracted, though, by her interesting necklace. What is that on the end? Whatever it is, me likes.

Until next time, errbody!

Snowflakes and Soulmates - Part 1 of 2 - Family Circus

Bluebell has no shortage of quirks (ahem, last week's faux alien abduction?), but just when you thought things were bizzaro enough, it goes ahead and snows. Apparently, this is way worse than the apocalypse or an alien abduction, because it totally screws with everyone's head and turns Bluebell into crazytown. You know, more so than normal.

 

Being from New York you’d think that perhaps Zoe would have a pair of weather appropriate boots, but hey, at least she’s wearing practical wedges? Even in the winter - and fully covered up - Zoe Hart is still 110% stylin. Gotta give a girl credit for that. I’m sure she’s got a pair of flats in that sweet bag!

 

It’s time for Didi to meet Lavon Hayes’ parents, but the snow freaks her out and she shows up at the bar with her robe and curlers. Yeah, I don't know either. At this point I’m just happy she’s got something on.

More importantly than Didi’s avant garde do’ is Wade’s outfit. Look VERY closely. THERE IS NO PLAID! The snow storm has thrown everyone off so much Wade has decided to show off his pecs in layered tees. 


And let’s take another look at Mayor Lavon Hayes. What a dashing dude. No wonder he’s the mayor. Too bad he’s got so many secrets wrapped up in that scarf.

 

So Lavon's parents have actually traveled across the country, together, to tell Lavon that they're splitting up. Fear not, Didi and her bold print dress come to the rescue and convince Lavon to throw his parents a last supper before their divorce.

Her plan does the trick (I mean come on, how can you resist anyone in that dress) and they get back together. But not before they have a romantic night in Zoe’s room. Eeeeehhhhh...

 

While Zoe's room is being used for adult extracurricular activities, she spends the day stewing over whether or not her Dad loves her. Her faux Dad that is. A damsel in distress is always more successful with a well crafted outfit. I'm very happy to say that although Ms. Hart's outfits weren't plentiful this week, they were 100% winter appropriate. Minus the shoes.

Because the Hayes family defied the snow and got back together, Wade found it in his heart to apologize to poor Zoe for breaking her and the vet up. But again. Where is the smooch? Will it ever happen?

Snowflakes and Soulmates - Part 2 of 2 - The Wedding That Almost Was

Last week Lemon and George decided that they should elope. Everyone in their right mind knows this is a bad idea, but it took the snowstorm to raise some red flags. 

Why Lemon, planning a sneaky marriage looks good on you! Our formerly uptight belle has let her hair down and sported a jacket that belongs in this decade. It adds a huge sass-factor to a shirt that would fall flat if it were on its own. Not totally sure why George is wearing a vest though. I guess that’s just how lawyers roll in Bluebell.

 

 Sadly, Sparkly Jacket does not save the day. Magnolia catches wind of the nuptials and vows to put a stop to this nonsense. 


So naturally, Lemon invites her along. Magnolia gets confused, though, and dresess for a ski trip to Vermont, rather than an elopement in Charleston.

 

Despite the attire being a bit odd for a wedding roadie, I do appreciate the sequined bow scarf and especially Lemon’s headband.

I’m obsessed with headbands lately. They say ski bunny without the skis, and a little less hat head. It should be noted that a winter headband is a great way to look adorable and keep your ears warm even if you have your hair up. Thanks for the style tip, Lemon!

 

When they get to Charleston City Hall everyone starts having doubts. Magnolia points out that the city smells like pee, and George thinks people have to be crazy to get married there. Well George, you don’t have to look too far. Crazy is about to be your wife.

I was worried Lemon would wear a suit a la SATC The Movie (and by that I mean The First One, The One That Did Not Suck), but her white ballgown with off white jacket was just what you’d expect from Lemon Breeland at her Court House wedding.

 

Magnolia, however, steals nuptial thunder. This is the second time a sequined bow makes an appearance in this episode and I LOVE IT!

 

The wedding doesn’t end up happening, and I stand firm in my belief that Lemon and George will not make it down the aisle. So does this mean Zoe will end up with George? Or does she need to finally lock lips with Wade? Sober, that is.

Aliens & Aliases - Part 1 of 2 - Be Better Than The Gap

Wade convinces Lemon to dress up as Joelle as part of a scheme to convince Joelle's ex-boyfriend that he didn't actually see Wade and Joelle together. Confused? Me too. Lavon asks Zoe to help him figure out why Didi has been avoiding him, but once Zoe uncovers the shocking reason, she isn't quite sure what to do with the information. Translation? Zoe has her own TMI experience. And lastly, George comes to Zoe for advice in determining whether there is a medical explanation for the behavior of one of his clients... who claims he can talk to aliens. Alrighty, then.

 

Hey Wade, the 90's called, they want their flannels back!

Wade: Hey Matt, you damn Yankee - you must be tired this morning, because that was the lamest joke this side of the Mississippi!

Zoe: Stop arguing you two, or I'll dispense more cereal down more shirts!

 

George, sporting a lovely tan blazer and an even better purple checkered shirt, tells Lemon she needs to take a day off and relax. I'm not crazy about Lemon's white top - did she get electrocuted? However, I am loving her green skirt and matching purse. Very Tree of Life.

 

George threw away Lemon's to-do list, but shocker, she goes dumpster-diving to retrieve it... or maybe Lemon moonlights as an identity theif? I could actually see that.

 

Lavon and Wade, talkin' women. Love Lavon's matching shirt, tie and hankerchief. And thoughts on Wade's hair? It kinda of looks like Gigolo Joe's hair from the hit-or-miss film, A.I.

 


Lavon asks Zoe, in her lovely brick hued blazer and leopard top, for Didi advice.

 

Aaaaand this reaction about says it all. At closer look, is that a fake-out leopard tie? Or is it an insert? Hate it or love it, it's unique none-the-less.

 

Gahhh! I guess DiDi isn't a fan of said leopard tie!

Whatevs. I'm not really a fan of her shirt. The print is so twee on a grown woman.

 

Here's George again, straight out of a Gap print ad. I quote the womanizing Ryan Gosling in Crazy. Stupid. Love. "Be better better than the Gap."

 

 

And here we have Eric and his wife Dotty... talking to George about how they can talk to aliens. Yeah, I'm going to make like a tree, and get outta here! Eric and his purple argyle sweater can keep his wacky storyline.

 

 

And dressing up like the illigitimate fashion son of Benjamin Franklin and Amadeus doesn't help his credibility  

 

 

 

Now we've come to the notorious Joelle, dressed incognito becuase of a long (read: boring) story about being on the run from her ex-boyfriend. Hate the oversized hat, love the brown leather jacket and so-so on the necklace.

The split decision goes to the avaiator sunglasses - two on-the-lam thumbs up!

Aliens & Aliases - Part 2 of 2 - It's Leroxy!

Ladies and gents, may I present Roxy, Lemon's beer drinkin', line dancin' alter-ego. Not only does Leroxy help Joelle with her cover story, she also serves as a way for Lemon to let go and relax, per George's wishes. And after a few drinks, boy does she ever.

This red cowboy hat is so atrociously cliche it's almost stylin'. Who knew Lemon had this so-sexy pose hidden beneath that prim and proper exterior?

 

Drunk off a couple of bhuurs, Leroxy tells the flannel lovin' Wade that he deserves better than the trashy Joelle. He probably also deserves better than flannel shirts, but I don't see that changing anytime soon.

 

Wade eventually calls in the troops - in this case, George - to help our barfly get off the ol' dance floor.

 

OK can we sign a petition to have Lemon permanently be Lexroxy? She's so smokin! Don't her and George look more like a regular Southern couple here than they ever have before? Loves it.

 

But ruh-roh, the jig is up as Joelle's jealous ex realize they been a-playin' him for a damn fool! Maybe he's also upset becuase of his puke green shirt. Lovely.

 

I feel the same way, Zoe!

Until next week, ya'll!

Sweetie Pies & Sweaty Palms - Part 1 of 1 - Confused Harts

If Bluebell’s education system is extremely strong in one department, it’s geometry. These belles can make love triangles like there's a tradition-steeped mating ritual coming up. Which there is. It’s Sweetie Pie Dance time in Bluebell, and that sends the whole town in a love-buggin', pie eatin' frenzy! No seriously, they're giving each other actual pies instead of cinnamon hearts. Fine by me. Tensions run high as everyone scrambles for a date. Will Zoe go with Hot Vet Judson? Will Lavon Hayes go with Sandra Bullock Lookalike DiDi? Will Wade go with his new fling? Too many questions. I'm just going to eat some pie while I recap this episode.

 

Rose may be the ultimate accidental hipster. Check out her INCREDIBLY adorable and ironic sweater. Wade calls her four-eyes, yet here she sits in her sweater covered in glasses. It screams "I’m a cute super nerd who doesn’t fit in, and I don’t give a care." You go Rose.

But look at these two. The chemistry is undeniable, right?

 

I’ve also figured out the reason behind Wade’s excessive wearing of plaid. Wade is on a plaid strike. Much like people take hunger strikes to get their voices heard, Wade will wear plaid until Zoe admits that she has feelings for him. I’m 99.9% certain that once this admission of love occurs, every piece of plaid Wade’s ever owned will never be seen again.

 

On the other side of town, George yet again tells Lemon that she’s distant and crazy. Lemon responds by straddling him while wearing a gorgeous flowery dress. Her outfit might be ladylike, but she's got moves like a lionesss. RAWR!

 

Cut to the Sweetie Pie Dance. Do you see how this triangle is coming along? DiDi loves Lavon, Lavon loves Lemon, Lemon loves Lavon but also loves George, George loves Zoe, Judson loves Zoe, Zoe loves Wade, Wade loves Zoe. Whoa. I’m pretty sure that just became a love octagon. Wade busts up "Zudson's" slow dance to show that not only will he wear plaid EVERY DAY, he will sometimes wear the same plaid shirt for TWO days in a row. That’s a statement of love if I’ve ever seen it.

Might I add that for someone who claims to have escaped out of a second story window to get to the dance, Zoe looks fab. Her hair shows NO sign of escapee-ism and her dress is the furthest thing from Southern Belle that you can get.

 

Lemon is ensuring that no one forgets the Sweetie Pie Dance is for the true Southern Belles. Her dress was clearly constructed from various 1970s couches that survived explosions in the Pepto Bismol factory. I love pink and I love flowers, but someone get that girl to a Nordstrom before she is forever stuck in 1942.

 

And fear not. Lavon Hayes was also the lucky recipient of a couch suit, as he showed up in red velour. Somehow he pulls this off far far better than Lemon in her couch dress.

Couch clothes or plaid strike? Things are so extreme in Bluebell. Oh well, at least there's pie.

Mistress & Misunderstandings - Part 1 of 1 - Matronly Memories

...aka, just another episode of Hart of Dixie! The matronly memories are courtesy of Lemon and her entourage, and their insistence on dressing like my great Aunt Mildred (or how I would imagine her to dress, if I had such a person in my life). Zoe finds herself in the position of "other woman" (although not in the way you think), and being charmed by Dr. Cheater, aka. Judson the Veterinarian. Meanwhile, Wade is so in love with her that he can't even concentrate on doing body shots off a hot and trashy blond, Lemon is upstaged and told off (finally!!) by one of her Hell's Belles, and she finds out a secret about her idol that I am SURE she is going to use for blackmail in some later episode (I mean, that's how Lemon rolls...wait, do lemons actually roll?)

 

Zoe starts off the episode in such a happy mood that everyone in town thinks she's either a) crazy, b) finally getting some, or c) well...just being Zoe Hart the flaky, new-fangled city girl. She literally walks through town saying good morning to everyone with a big goofy grin on her face...even the old cranky bitches that sit on the bench in the town square EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF THE DAY (seriously, do they EVER leave?). Luckily she does it in a cute outfit:

Oh, what do you know - Dr. Hart is wearing shorts! Never trust a doc who wears shorts every day. And looks like she's 15 years old. And is Rachel Bilson. At least that's what these ladies' faces are saying. Ah, hell nah. Well, you can't doubt that she's cute! These lace shorts are a little different and very feminine, so I like - the polka dot top makes them a little more fun and the black blazer adds a bit of professional polish.

 

This scene reminds me of the opener of Beauty and the Beast where the entire village is singing about how strange and peculiar Belle is, while she sings about how she can't wait to get her butt outta town. Um, similarities, much? I mean, look at her face:

This belongs in a musical cartoon, like, yesterday. 

 

NEXT!! She also wears a cute top (and a suspicious expression) when Levon (nosiest landlord ever...and maybe the hottest) and Wade stop by to check on her, thinking they would catch her with the new boy toy they believe is putting that smile on her face:

Hey boys, how you doin'? Me? No, I'm not hiding anything behind these printed, billowing sleeves. Well, nothing except my loaded guns. Meooooow!! I don't hate this top, but I don't love it. It's....a top...with a fun print. I do love the side braid she is rockin' though.

 

But I'm sorry to say Annabeth looks a little like an Old Navy ad from five years ago, and she looks intensely concerned about that, too. As am I. 

 

Meanwhile, Lemon continues to be "more crazy and stressed than usual" (is it just me, or do people use that descriptor for her at least once every episode? I'm thinking crazy and stressed is just how she is. All the livelong day). She really wants to impress her idol, Deely-Ann - the head of the Memory Matrons, whose main purpose (from what I can tell) is to put on outfits from Tanjay and suck up to each other at teas and other boring get-togethers. Lemon's looks often resemble Katherine Hepburn, which most of the time, I like. Observe:

The vibrant purple colour of her top and the high-waisted pants look great on her since she doesn't have any, you know, actual hips.

 

The outfit she wears to have Deely-Ann and her husband (aka. George's rival lawyer) over to brownnose is not bad either:

Again, a nice colour in the top, although without the vibrancy of the first one. However, the skirt looks a little like the curtains that were hanging in my apartment when I first moved in, and the curtsey was rather awkward. 

 

Too bad George ruined it for her when he got overly competitive in Pictionary and did an embarassing victory dance when he and Lemon won:

Jazz hands!! Well, Lemon found the dance embarassing. I found it hilarious. The dancing was so bad it was awesome, which is something I aspire to at every party. Good thing he didn't have to draw "baby talk".

 

I also didn't mind Lemon's next outfit:

Ok, so the blouse is a little old-fashioned but the cute skirt and pulled back hair make it a bit more modern. It's sort of a cute secretary/librarian look, and Lemon does not often do "modern". In fact, she's the perfect person to be the head of the Memory Matrons because she's always doing "matronly" things - 1940's clothes and hair? Curtseying? Moaning and groaning about those damn "kids" and all their fun-having?

 

This outfit?

See? Matronly. This looks like it was made from curtains (a popular trend for Lemon-wear this episode)...I mean, a chiffon floral cape, Lemon? Really? My fake Aunt Mildred would be proud, but she's about the only person. Memory Matron, indeed. 

 

Back to Zoe (now back to me, now look at my hand, now back. to. me.) decides to help her new BFF Annabeth practice standing up to Lemon by doing some role-play (no, not THAT kind, Levon). She hilariously dons a floppy hat and imitates Lemon and gets it right on.

I mean, she says "Heaven's to Betsy!!" at one point, which is something Lemon would totally say. Add "grandmotherly expressions" to the list of "matronly" things she does. Zoe's stretchy black dress here is very simple but rockin'. Very Herve Leger. See, Lemon? Sure Zoe can dress overly trendy and youthful at times but at least she doesn't raid the Golden Girls wardrobe department every morning.

 

I love the necklace Zoe rocks with this dress:

It's vaguely tribal or Middle Eastern, like something you would pick up in a market in Turkey or something. The perfect counterpoint to the dress.

 

Another counterpoint to the dress this episode was Judson looking like a walking Tommy Hilfiger ad:

This is a little too preppy-punting-at-Cambridge for my liking, but I'll admit it - he still looks delicious. I am not sure how I feel about Zoe and Dr. Cheater now dating seriously after he slept with her friend. However, I suppose his remorse could be genuine. It's not like he has much choice for hot girl material in this town. Plus he relayed his excitement about her "liking him too" to a dog and that was pretty cute (talks to animals like they are people: check in the "hot" box for me!). 

Tune in next week, for what I am sure will include yet more misunderstandings and more matrons. They're both pretty much guaranteed for every episode, right?

Hell's Belles - Part 1 of 2 - You Can See My Roots

Zoe goes digging for her Bluebell family heritage and finds a long lost Aunt, who tells her she comes from a tradition of Wilkes women who were Southern Belles. Bluebell Belles. Lemon (of course) is not only a Belle, but also the Belle ringleader. Zoe (of course) wants in, and it's a lot like pledging a sorority - chores, humiliation and one awful red dress, to be worn for the duration of her one-week Belle pledging. But more on that later...

 

Dr. Zoe finds a box of pictures from Harley Williams with her name literally written on it. Is this the beginning of a "Choose Your Own Adventure"? No. Just a friendly reminder that Zoe is a terrible New Yorker and knows nothing about her Wilkes family heritage. Dr. Brick, sporting a real-men-wear-pink shirt, questions Zoe's dedication to the town and family. Zoe, wearing a classic black blazer with a [rawl!] leopard print dress, is all, "I'm not just passing through, I've been here for four whole months." Dr. Brick challenges her back with, "You wanna fit in? Find out where you fit." GAME. SET. SOUTH.

 

Lemon joins the conversation with a pastel top purchased at an "After-Easter" sale and, shockingly, low opinions of our highly educated doctor.

 

It's Aunt Marine! But with no marine-themed prints or colors on her outfit. How disappointing. I was all set for aqua dolphins. Surely Lilly Pulitzer makes a print like that.

 

But that doesn't matter because she has THE ONE RING - a Belle legacy ring - which means Zoe can be a Belle. I doubt Zoe is a Lord of the Rings fan, but if she was, the references would be endless. In the meantime, we'll go with: One Ring to Belle Them All.

 

Silly Zoe! It takes more than a pledge to become a Belle! It takes a WHOLE week of pledging! With Zoe fully revealing the leopard dress, is it just me or would this double as an amazing piece of advertising for the Pledge of Allegiance to the United States of Bitchface.

 

So what's up with the boys of Blue Belle? Well, funny you should ask, because our men all have that "100-yard-stare" thing going on. What's troubling? Aside from another homerun by Lavon and his hats, why...

 

George, rocking the power suit with a lovely checkered dress shirt. He's in the middle of some boring real-estate deal, and his key client is Wade's crazy father - the aptly nicknamed "Crazy Earl."

 

Wade, sporting the classic man's-man green flannel, isn't so happy about George using his father. Just look at the way he's clenching those his pearly whites.

 

Meanwhile, Lavon can't get a single date in Bluebell, thanks to DiDi telling all the girls that he's in love with her. How big is this town? It sounds more like a high school. DiDi, stop trying to be the Regina George of Bluebelle. That's Lemon's job. You just stick to being jealous of how effortlessly Lavon pulls off purple stripes.

 

As for Dr. Zoe's medical storyline of the week - it seems all the Belles in Lemon's clique can't get pregnant because Lemon put a "curse" on them. Uh...it is 2012 down there, right? I mean, do they really believe that since Lemon is still unhitched, no morning sickness for any of them? And speaking of throwing up, check out the puke green on the top below. Or is it zippy yellow? I can't decide. But wait, what's is Zoe wearing? Ohhhh just you wait and see...

Hell's Belles - Part 2 of 2 - Seriously, let's talk about that dress

And that is how we got here, ladies and gents. Sure, other kinda-fun things happened in this episode - George and Wade were scheming, while Lavon had his normal awkward women troubles. But, seriously, with a dress like the one Zoe was forced to wear, everything just pales in comparison.

The great thing about this dress - aside from the fact that she looks like a poster child for why the South lost the war - is that there is a Secret Word. When the Secret Word is uttered, Dr. Zoe Hart must sing some warped Belle song, which is exacly what she's doing here...

Is our Dr. Hart thinking:
A) "Huh. I'm not that bad a singer. I should audition for Mobile Idol!"
B) "This garter is cutting off my circulation and everyone's starting to look like Colonel Stonewall Jackson."
C) "Talk about a two-for-one happy hour special!"

 

I'm guessing "B". But oh no! I've upset our puppy-dog-face Dr. Hart with my jokes :(

Upon closer look, I'm kind of digging those red roses on the front of her dress. I suppose she looks adorable, but she'd look adorable in a garbage bag, so what's that say?

 

Is this how high-class Southern escorts dressed back in the day? Were they extremely polite with a hint of sass?

"Why great balls of fire, Dr. Hart, you look like the wrong kind of working woman"

 

So Belle hell-week isn't going so great for our Dr. Zoe. She's wondering if she's made the right decision in sticking around Bluebell, instead of heading back to the damn-Yankees.

 

Is it me or does Zoe look like she's in a "I'm not a virgin, so my wedding dress will be red" depressing photo shoot?

 

And yeah, hell-week doesn't get easier when Lemon unleashes her fellow Belles with painball guns on our poor Dr. Hart. I'm doing that "Tough Mudder" obstacle course in just under a month. I wonder if this is one of those "mystery obstacles"?

 

What is Lemon expressing via scary-stare-telekenisis?
A) "Polish my silver good, or you'll be forced to wear polka-dot pants!"
B) "When I see my reflection in that silver, I see a red and scaly creature with a bifurcated tail, carrying a hay fork. What does that mean?"
C) "Your non-blonde hair is a sign that your carpetbagger size-zero-ass is evil!"

I'm going with "A". Apparently, the threat of polka dot pants was enough to make Zoe drop the Belle's invitation. Anticlimatic? Yes, but a wise decision by our Dr. Zoe, and no hard feelings are left with Lemon.

Catch you next week, loyal readers. Who knows what absurd things our cute Dr. Zoe will wear...