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Thursday
May172012

The Big Day - Part 1 of 2 - Let Them Wear Cake

On the day of the Breeland-Tucker wedding, a storm hits Bluebell forcing George and Lemon to relocate the wedding and Wade and Zoe to take cover in a barn. In a surprising (yet, let's face it, utterly predictable) chain of events, George calls off the wedding to confess his love for Zoe... just after she finishes sexytime with Wade. Talk about bad timing. HoD's first season finale follows CW's formula to a T: a disastrous wedding + a love triangle with a bunch of hot people + exposed male body parts just because - believability one hell of a season finale. 

 

The episode opens with a dream. Because, you know, we don't get to see that a lot anymore:

 

For a second, I thought George was wearing a cardigan with shoulder pads. Which, though nightmarish, is at least more interesting than what he's actually wearing.

Why, in George's dream, do Lemon and Zoe both wear excessive amounts of jewelry? It doesn't really bother me that much; I'm too distracted by their textured wedding dresses.

 

They look like they're wearing mounds of cake frosting. 

Not necessarily a bad thing.

 

Also, why, in George's dream, does Lavon dress super fab in a white tux?

It's time to give up when your nemesis dresses more fashionably than you even in your dreams.

 

Lemon calls George, interrupting his pre-wedding jitters dream and looking wedding-ready straight out of bed. Wow, this is the first time Lemon's hair isn't "done" and my hair will STILL never look as good as this.

 

Zoe, desperate to make up with Wade, comes bearing gifts of creme brulee coffee (does that really exist?) in this amazing red textured jacket.

 

I honestly cannot even deal with how cute this outfit is. It hurts just looking at it: red jacket, white tie blouse, leopard print belt, black trousers and platform booties. And that bag! GOOD LORDDDD. Perfect for objecting holy matrimony.

   

 

Unfortunately, this outfit won't help her win George back. Though after seeing the wedding photography, maybe that's a good thing...

 

Lavon comes to warn George of a storm while wearing possibly his most fashionable outfit of the entire series:

Seriously, Lavon. You're killing it. Head-to-toe. Killing it.

 

Even Swan agrees.

"What?? ...I swear, I style myself."

 

Back at the Breeland estate, the bridal party awaits Lemon's arrival. Magnolia prepares for her maid-of-honor role by wearing this pale yellow 3D dress.

 

This dress is a homerun. Look at the back:

 

Cricket, on the other hand, prepares for the wedding by gluing a bunch of Skittles to a terry top.

 

A storm hits Bluebell, just as Lavon predicted, and the bridesmaids struggle to keep Lemon from finding out. Magnolia dons this over-the-top flower headpiece, which reminds me of what I wore to my cousin's wedding as a flower girl in 1993.

 

1993?!!?!?!?!?!?!

Whoa, sorry, Lem. I heard the 90s were coming back...?

Thursday
May172012

The Big Day - Part 2 of 2 - Zoe vs. Wade's Abs: Lightning Round

Zoe drives to Mobile to do some shopping and, of course, avoid the Royal Wedding. On the way back to Bluebell, she picks up Wade, whose car has broken down. They somehow end up in a barn, soaking wet with a bunch of a goats.

CW. Seriously. You really know how to write a show.

 

At this point, we know Zoe and Wade are gonna get it on. The question now is when. Wade shows off his arms in possibly HIS most fashionable outfit of the entire series.

Look, I know, I know, it's just a wifebeater and jeans but he always wears plaid and-- oh, forget it. IT'S THE BICEPS.

 

Zoe doesn't look too upset being stuck in a barn with Biceps. She looks super cute and all smiley in her very see-through white blouse.

 

Too bad his focus is on another girl:

 

Back at the bridal party, Annabeth tries to cheer Lemon up in this fantastic taupe pink feather dress, flower earrings and statement necklace.

 

I am a little confused about her hair though. It's still in the prep process... right?

Hm. I guess we'll never know.

 

A baby goat escapes the barn and Zoe and Wade run out to rescue it. Wade helps out by taking his shirt off:

I take back what I said before. THIS is Wade's most fashionable outfit of the entire series.

Do you think this episode is available in IMAX 3D?

 

George scrambles to make the wedding happen but even this AMAZING, FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL, SERIOUSLY GORG Monique Lhuillier dress cannot save it.

Talk about cake frosting. Lemon looks AMAZING.

 

Here is a closer look:

LOVE LOVE LOVE. And she even added one of her fav hair pieces!

 

After a heated fight and tons of sexual tension, Wade returns to his house to get ready for the wedding in, for realsies, his most fashionable outfit of the entire series:

Looks so dapper. Never thought that was possible.

 

Don't you think, Zo?

Oh. Okay.

 

Knock, knock. There's five minutes left in the episode. WHO COULD THAT BE?

I see that George is trying to pull off a "Wade" right now but he just looks gross and sweaty. I mean, not EVERYONE can pull off looking hot in the rain. It's a skill.

 

It's also a skill to lie on a bed looking like you're posing for a nude, oil painting.

 

"Boy, am I in trouble."

 

And there you have it: a traditional CW season finale. Which means, tons of storyline doors are open for business next season. Lemon and Lavon are a possibility again, Zoe will have to choose between two super hot guys and two super hot guys will have to compete for Zoe's heart. Though, in this episode alone, there is simply no competition. That is if Zoe's only requirements are looking hot in the rain, looking hot without a shirt on and looking hot on a bed after sex. In that case, piece of cake.

Thursday
May102012

Disaster Drills & Departures - Part 1 of 2 - Black and White and... Cream?!

Welcome back loyal readers, how's your Hart feeling this week? Blue? Red? Chartreuse? This week's episode started with the blame game, as Zoe blamed herself when one of her friends faced a health crisis and she didn’t notice the symptoms (c'mon doc!) Meanwhile, with much encouragement from Lavon, Wade explores the idea of opening his own bar in Bluebell (I suggest the name "Wine 'Em Dine 'Em"). Meanwhile, Lemon plans a romantic night for George, hoping to get their Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom[ed] relationship back on track. Got your defibrillators ready? Then let's go!

 

Here we have two generations of Harts, but only one fashionista. With Pappy Hart donning the 1980's online dating video mustache and a serious case of dad-clothes, it makes us wonder where Zoe got her fashion sense from. In her go-to black and white getup, Zoe simply stuns.

 

Let's take a closer look at that coat, which is almost as long as her doctors coat. Oh, idea! She should def start wearing that in her office from now on. In fact, cough-cough, I'm suddenly feeling sick...

 

But from a futher away view we see her shoes - and I'm just sort of "eh" on them. I know she's breaking her black-or-white method - but maybe she could've worn neutral shoes that wouldn't compete with the coat?

   

 

Sans-future-lab-coat, Dr. Hart shows off (in my humble opinion) her best assests in her killer tight leather skirt. Meanwhile, we have Annabeth in a nice floral dress, but it doesn't really take any chances now, does it? In the eternal words of Miranda Hobbes, "You gonna lose some to win some!"

 

How many variations of black and white does Zoe have in her wardrobe? She kind of reminds me of that girl from Seinfeld who always wore the exact same outfit.

 

 

"Hi, this is Zoe Hart, is Matt Solyst there?... Hi Matt - yeah I read your You Know You Love Fashion recap about me always wearing black and white, and I just wanted to let you know that I am currently wearing blue jeans and a cream colored jacket, so SUCK IT!"

Click.

I done been told, y'all.

Thursday
May102012

Disaster Drills & Departures - Part 2 of 2 - Heart to Hart

OK, I just got off the phone with Zoe and after our little Heart-to-Hart, I'm just going to focus on the other charcaters now...

Here we have Dr. Brick, looking his Sunday Southern best. I'm liking his blue dress shirt, but he needs another color to offset the khaki overload. Something up the alley of J. Peterman maybe?

 

And here we have the non-Zoe gang, just hanging out. More on Lemon and Magnolia in a second - let's look at George's outfit. Is his band about to open for The Black Keys? Is he moonlighting as a bouncer at a seedy crossroads bar? Or is be the new model/spokeperson for the V-neck top?

 

Love the color flow on Lemon here - we go from a lovely cream top, to a yellow skirt, and finally ending at a gold purse worthy of Serena van der Woodsen.

 

"Hello, is this Matt from YKYLF? I just want to say thanks for trashing Zoe in your previous post!"

"This is Matt, but I wasn't that harsh on her. In fact, I usually like her black and white outfits."

Akward pause.

"Oh... I see..."

Even more akward pause.

 

If Lemon and Magnolia were having an outfit-off, then poor Magnolia stands no chance. It's not that she looks bad or anything, she just looks so... safe. Having the same problems as the beforementioned Annabeth, Magnolia needs to try and step it up a notch.

 

That being said, upon closer look - Magnolia does indeed look very cute here. I think I would just like her more if she lost the pink coat or tried something less conservative (while remaining, of course, Southern and classy.) PS: props to Magnolia on the subtle yet stylish necklace.

 

Speaking of subtle, on the deepest of opposite days, we have Shelly in her... whatever the heck outfit this is supposed to be. It's patriotic, I'll give her that, but it also looks like she's wearing a picnic table cloth for a skirt, and I'm not talking about her apron.

 

 

And...are those studs on her shirt? I imagine that accidentally running into her would really hurt.

 

But wait, here to save the good people of Bluebell from spiky servers (and harsh recappers) is...

Lavon! In strides our reliable mayor, in his typical save-the-day fashion. Like Superman's red cape, the flash  of fashionable fedora means that help is on the way. Sigh. You guys? The streets of Bluebell are safe again.

Thursday
May032012

The Race & The Relationship - Hint: Both Include Speedbumps

Well, there was definitely a race this week. The relationship(s)? Not so much. Pretty much everyone was either breaking up, fighting, revealing feelings, hiding feelings, misreading signals or some combination of those. Every couple (or every two people that aspire to be a couple) in town participated in the popular annual race, attempting to win $5,000 - Lemon and George, on the advice of their minister, joined the race for "marriage counseling", and Wade asked Zoe to be on his team because of her book smarts and killer whipstitch (although we all know that he really wants her to be his teammate in the sack). Once the racing started, it quickly became less a field day of fun and more a field day for feelings - all the pent up barbs and opinions came out to play! Then Rose's appendix burst there was so much drama. See? This is why I avoid races, and all athletic activity in general - racing causes physical and emotional scarring - here's the proof!

 

We first see Zoe in this episode rolled fresh out of bed when George comes by with a coffee to discuss their kissing the night before. Naturally (and completely unrealistically), Zoe just happens to be wearing a gorg pair of silk pj's:

I'm sorry, I thought your name was "Zoe" not "Zooey". So, you BOTH have cute PJs now? Where are you getting them, and furthermore, why do you look so good lazing around in said PJs?! I look more like an extra for Trailer Park Boys when I am hanging around in my loungewear. Just when I was getting excited about the PJs - and the fact that George and Zoe might be finally heading to coupledom - he tells her he thinks they should just be friends for now. Hm, maybe you should have gone more Zooey with your PJ choice, Dr. Hart. 

 

She is looking much more polished later walking through town in this tribal-print romper (I think it's a romper?):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This print and colour are SO Zoe, aren't they? This rockin' spiky necklace is "oh so Zoe" too:

The necklace is slightly tribal also, which goes great with this graphic print. That sad expression definitely doesn't match though - but I would probably look a bit down if the guy I was in love with told me that he decided to go to counselling with his estranged fiance. Falling for emotionally unavailable men? That is SO Zoe!

 

Speaking of the counselling - normally I would say Lemon needs some serious therapy to break away from her obsession with old-lady outfits, but I actually do not mind the white lace dress she wears to the Minister's office for her and George's first "session":

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This has a vintage feel to it, as opposed to just an OLD feel. I like the addition of the painted-on red lip - if only the smile underneath weren't so painted on, too. It's an appropriately "virginal" dress for a meeting with a Minister I suppose (not that I would know about either point). Although this is rather ironic since they are basically having the meeting because of Lemon's decidedly un-Christian indiscretions. Given her history, this part of the meeting definitely seemed more up her alley:

Meow. Kinky.

 

Later, Zoe listens to the heartbeat of the wall (aka. eavesdrops on Brick and Lemon in the other room) in a slick blouse and killer red heels - check em out!:

Yeah, just another day at the office! Just a regular doctor in my leather leggings and red pumps! Very practical, as always (hey now, if you get blood on them, it won't show!).

 

Let's get a better look at the blouse:

A little bit country, a little bit rock n' roll. Much more appropriate for a doctor's office. Well, at least a doctor's office on television. 

 

Then it's time for race day! If you're anything like me, the point of going to an event like this is to see what people are wearing, and Lemon shows up looking very J Crew-chic in red pants, a printed blouse and jaunty sunhat:

I could do without the large #4 right across the front, but other than that, it's a winner! We so rarely see Lemon in pants, so that's refreshing. I guess she realized that a sequined cardigan and floral dress were probably not going to cut it building a wheelbarrow and shucking corn, but still understood that an occasion such as this is no reason not to look cute. Amen, Lemon. 

 

Zoe, on the other hand, dresses kind of like a 13 year old boy for the race:

Sigh, so boring Zoe. I realize you want to be comfy and warm and practical on such a day but do you really think Golden Boy George is going to notice you in your flared denim and gray hoodie when Lemon looks like she walked out of the Anthropologie catalogue?! You're a doctor - use them brains!

 

At least one can always count on Levon Hayes to look nonchalantly polished and sexy - with a little fun thrown in - even while carrying a crutch under one arm:

Thank you for getting the 'race-day' look RIGHT, Mr. Mayor. Lovin' the fedora, violet shirt and vest combo with jeans. I certainly wish the public servants where I live looked this good.

 

If only all the men in Bluebell "got it". To my chagrin, Tom was - yet again - wearing a cheesy sweater with an animal on it:

Although this is a slight improvement over the deer butt sweater of two weeks ago, it is still not very stylin'. Obviously clothes aren't everything to everyone though because a cute redhead asked Tom to be on her race team and they kissed and everything! They are SUPER cute together! Just wait until she opens his closet and sees his rows of sweaters with animal faces on them - if she sticks with him after that, they should just get married. 

 

Looks like fashion mattered in the end because George and Lemon won the race - and realized they still have a spark between them. And the episode ended off with pretty much everyone in town mad at Zoe. In other words, she's back to where she started! Don't worry, Zoe - I'm sure they're just jealous that you're so good at butting into other peoples' business. Small-town folk really pride themselves on doing that, and you're showing them up.

Or maybe they are just jealous of how great you look in leather leggings - who can tell!

So, what do you think - Will Zoe be able to get everyone back on her side? Will we see a wedding in Bluebell before the end of the season? Does your doctor wear red pumps (mine doesn't)?