Gossip Girl: New York, I Love You XOXO

Part 2 of 3: Plus ça change, plus ç'est la même chose

Has anything really changed over the years? I mean, other than than the style of the clothes. Remember waaaay back when Eric was locked in the Ostroff Centre (now the Pedowitz Institute) and Lily's all, "I don't care if it's a Murakami...someone get me a drink." Well, minus the inconveniently suicidal child, Lily still has that attitude and style.

Gorgeous as always, but not really the picture of a woman who just lost her husband for the second time. Although, I guess on your fifth marriage it's more practical than about true love. She does know that she should wear a bit of black to indicate to the media that she cares about Bart's death. I love the black lace top and the giant black earrings. 

And as always, I love her hair.

I do not love anything happening on William vdW here. That coat is the colour of a potato and shaped like a sack. His exile from the UES has done him no favours. I honestly don't know what Lily and Ivy saw in him.

Poor Ivy. Despite being the jilted lover, she's looking all kinds of amazing in that red with the structured grey jacket and pattered tights.

But no matter how good she looks these days or how much money she has, she's just not ready for this crowd. Player got played on that one. I guess that explains the weird romance she had with William.

Although I'm not sure Georgina is buying that plot line.

Now there is a power couple if ever I saw one. I mean, really. Jack tried to ruin his nephew, was exiled and is now back (only because his brother is dead) to help his nephew get married to avoid the long arm of the law. 

And Georgina? Girlfriend personifies scheme.

It's probably ten in the morning and she's already in full body armour. Trusting a woman who dresses in all metallics, all the time, is kind of like trusting that dude with the face tattoos. He might stab you, she might stab you in the back. And you should have seen that coming.

How do you accessorize all those spikes and sequins?

Giant. Ass. Jewelry. That's how.

It's funny, we gave Vanessa such a hard time for overdoing it, but we're totally okay with Georgina. Maybe we just appreciate Georgina's moxie more.

Speaking of Vanessa, how is she doing these days?

Same old, same old boho self, plus one mid-century modern kitchen. Maybe one or two fewer necklaces, so I can only assume she's been reading YKYLF since leaving to go do whatever it is she did. I can't remember since Dan literally never speaks of his childhood BFF. 

On the subject of Brooklyn, when the news of Dan's online treachery broke, Rufus broke out his best trophy husband leftovers for a round of son-shaming.

The cowl neck! Oh how we didn't miss those sweaters. And so many patches! It's like he's going to go hunting with the cast of Downton Abbey. And as always, he accessorizes with a look of righteousness and judginess. 

Sage dressed like she's thinking of making a move to Brooklyn. Her brown plaid frumpy dress and chartreuse cardigan are equal parts Early Dan plus Girls hipster-adjacent style.

If the series hadn't come to an end, I'd want to send a note to Eric Daman about how we don't need this. Since the teenage troublemaker won't be a part of our lives anymore, I'll give her snaps for her outerwear - she's the winner of that catergory for this episode.

I love the plaid coat and the brown wedge boots. Well done, kiddo. You make your man-child boyfriend so much more interesting.

Something he can't do for himself.

Yep. That's Nate. Grey shirt, black tie, no clue. Best moment for him was when he thought it was a good idea to tell the cop his girlfriend is a minor. We've said it before, and we'll say it again: it's a good thing he's pretty.

As the truth came out about Gossip Girl, our friends on the UES needed a good, stiff drink.

And wasn't it about time that someone served Dorota?? I think we all enjoyed seeing her order from Jack. She knows who belongs and who doesn't.

But the Scooby Gang weren't the only ones surprised. Cameo upon cameo of former minor characters (Lola! Juliet! Agnes! Mayor Bloomberg!) expressed their shock. Our favourite was how Bell and Bilson took the news.

"Gossip Girl is real??" You bet your ass she is, Rachel.

Valley Girls - Part 2 of 2 - Back to the Future

The Humphreys have a pow-wow about Rufus getting married, then he arrives and it's awkward.

Thanks to Beth for pointing out this no-colour dark shirt is seersucker. I now feel obliged to say that I see it, and it sucks.

Jenny is in her usual taupe tank, but there are pearls mixed in with her chains today and not too much panda makeup obscuring her vision. She looks pretty, if a little washed out.

Vanessa makes one appearance this episode (good, because I always want to yell, 'she doesn't even go here!' in Constance Billiard scenes) and is not dressed too appallingly! Her embroidered duck egg blue blouse is something I'd wear myself, ditto the brown waistcoat on top.

Even her jewellery isn't too heavy or nasty looking. It's a prom night miracle!

Speaking of prom night, Chuck is sooo not recreating your girlfriend's childhood fantasy by sabotaging everything you plan, Nathaniel. Look at his outfit's innocent pallette and attempt to mix with the proles in that plaid shirt.

Nate is confused. I would be too if I went out wearing my nana's raincoat over my pyjamas.

The only dream of Serena's that Dan can fulfil is her release from jail. Like Chuck, he is attempting to appear inconspicuous. That t-shirt has a definite sense of 'wall' or 'sidewalk' about it.

Serena may not have been worked over with the phonebook, but she's not looking her best. I swear she wasn't arrested wearing that coat...

Blair isn't dressed too well either, so I cunningly used the arrival of a bespoke Marchesa prom dress from Paris to cover up her shapeless black sack dress.

Eric has a five second cameo, neither taking part in any eighties montages nor going to prom. His blue plaid shirt is acceptable, if only because the nice colour takes my mind off the pattern.

Fast forward to prom night, where Dan too is underwhelming. I praised his combination of purple and black once, and now I see it everywhere. He couldn't have spiced it up a bit?

Like this?!

Purple. Black. A mixture of colours in the bowtie, shot through with cream to match the bouttoniere.

Chuck's wardrobe is the one you have a long and happy life with. Dan's is the one you look back on and shudder.

Tonight of all nights, the minions look particularly lacklustre. There are things I do like - the pleated, sea shell shaped bodice of Hazel's dress, Penelope's bedazzled hair flower, Nelly Yuki's coral gown - and things that I loathe - everything Iz is wearing, purple accessories with pink dresses, pink accessories with purple dresses and so on.

Serena is, by contrast, a delight in nudes and sparkles - although now I come to think of it, it does seem she's suddenly gone down a cup size and the bodice is saggy. Never mind. Swishy, shimmering skirts and tumbling hair are perfect for a princess...

If not for a queen.

As I mentioned, this glorious black and gold peacock feather effect gown was made for the show by Marchesa and unfortunately never produced commercially. Blair compliments it with metallic fingernails and an incredible oversize citrine or topaz ring and necklace that bring out the deeper tones of the gold. Her dazzling flowered tiara is the ultimate finishing touch.

And I nearly forgot to mention how handsome Nate was in his flawless tux, although that bouttoniere is worringly similar to the one Chuck wore at Bart and Lily's wedding.

"Turns out fairytales end when they do for a reason," says Blair sagely.

I'd really like to remind the current characters of this moment - the girl who was over fairytales married a prince, her best friend kept pinging back to the guy with the bad hair, Nate continued to be confused and Chuck selflessly organised a prom and now selflessly cares for a dog, selflessly leaves the love of his life alone and selflessly has no good storylines.

What a difference a few seasons can make.

Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Part 2 of 2 - How Much Wood Would Nate Archibald Chuck If Chuck Bass Could Chuck Blair?

Blair does love triangles like some people do manicures: often and well.

Our Queen B is not so big on taking the Lex Express to see Nate at Columbia, so she grumps about in a beautiful black and white woven coat and hunter green purse before grumbling to Serena in a mustard coloured blouse, whose cut is pretty enough to excuse the colour.

The tribal print on her skirt is very chic and calms down all that mustard. Brava.

Nate accompanies her in - what a surprise - a dark blue peacoat, henley, and what look suspiciously like bell bottoms. Dear Lord, NO.

Before we go any further, hear my confession: I lumped all Dan's outfits together because they're so boring this episode. Between brown and grey, his cater waiter uniform turns out to be the most fashion forward. Le Petit Oeuf catering service has it going on.

Speaking of 'on', Chuck appears to be making a play for Blair by dressing as Hugh Hefner. Velour is inexcusable, but a pink popped collar and a baby blue ascot are definite winners.

What does shooting hoops with his homie mean to Nate? Blue. Grey. A Natefused expression.

Jenny's dressing worryingly like both Nate and Dan this week. First we have a brown on brown combo, then a leather and plaid combo, then blue and black and torn jeans. Little J, you're not Katniss Everdeen, you don't need to camouflage yourself to survive.

Nice to see a young lady with a selection of coats, though.

Unlike Nate who has just the one coat, and knows no hue but blue.

Back to Hefner's homeboy Chuck, who has loosened his tie for a date on a street corner.

Of course it's with Blair, this isn't True Blood. That belt really does wonders to showcase her tiny waist, which was lost in the woven confection of earlier. Chuck informs us that we know Blair is spying because she's wearing her beret.

Of course she has a designated espionage accessory.

Vanessa, however, couldn't organise accessories if her life depended on it. The warm yellow of her cardigan, green and peach of her vest and green stones of her necklace are all lovely against her skin...but said necklace is chunky and awkward, and she didn't need to add another chain.

The path to righteousness is paved with good accessoring, which Blair has down. A simple headband matches the pretty black and pink print of her dress (love how the colour contrast continues even in the bow belt).

It's such a shame she later wears foundation instead of lipstick and chooses to dress in what I can only describe as a mint green and gold curtain. It's sacky and I hate it.

Everyone attends Serena's building's co-op meeting for no apparent reason, and Blair is forced to choose between pizza and wings with the white knight, or possible limo shenanigans with the dark prince. What do you think she picked?

But alas! It was all cooked up by Chuck, a man who wears a pink shirt and a patterned cerulean bowtie with no fear. In his double-breasted coat, he certainly appears devious enough to lure Blair out to Dagobah in the hope of finding their evil Yoda to strike back against Darth Gabriel.

"Let Jesus take the wheel, I have!"

Oh, Georgina. I see past your OMJ t-shirt and meadow blue scarf. I see past your skinny jeans and bad hair. My focus is your leather gloves and those buckled fastenings on your jacket.

You can't keep a bad girl down.

The mention of Blair - see what I mean about Blair attracting love triangles? Even born again Christians want a piece of the action! - brings Georgie back to Manhattan, conveniently the place where Nate is waiting for B to hurry up and pick him already.

He even wore several shades of blue for the occasion.

Remains of the J - Part 3 of 3 - Pimp My Ride

This section is so-called because these guys really need to pull their socks up sartorially.

Poor Kelly Rutherford. Instead of sitting her down or hiding her behind interesting pieces of sculpture, her bump is swathed in unflattering sacks which fail to hide its existence.

And Rufus is in plaid.

And plaid again.

This is how pregnancy should be concealed, with posture and gentle draping. These silk pyjamas are very elegent, and Kelly’s glow sets off the pale colours beautifully. There are some pros to having a bun in the oven while on TV.

This detailed black coat with puffed sleeves also uses a warm skin tone to keep Lily from being washed out, although her face is a different shade to her hands. A little lighter on the foundation next time.

Same coat, different purse. Fabulous. Same Rufus, different brown clothing. Drabulous.

But the opposite of drab is over the top, which Vanessa never fails to be. I like her updo and earrings, but the heavy gold and coral cuff and turquoise necklace clash with the clean lines and silver buttons of her military coat.

I can’t see her blouse, but it sure as hell looks busy.

Nate’s grey beanie is adorable, but there’s his boring navy pea coat over his boring uniform again.

He doesn’t even bother to dress up to dump Vanessa, except perhaps like Grandpa in a cream cardigan. No comment on the baby blue shirt – yes, it makes his eyes pop, and yet no, that amount of blue is not permissible.

Nate’s not even smart enough to realise Blair’s on the seduce, something we could see from a mile off. Here comes the basic black suit and what may even be the same shirt as before; the pattern certainly seems similar.

Skanktastic!

And what could be skankier than this?

Maybe over-accessorising? Vanessa’s ruffled purple dress is pretty, but a neckline that high shouldn’t be crowded with two necklaces as well as huge hoop earrings, and the shiny pink cuff in the above picture is tacky.

Let’s face it, what about this storyline isn’t tacky?

To sum up: Lily is rich, Rufus is poor, Vanessa is morally poor, Chuck is morally bankrupt, Blair keeps throwing it but no one is going to pick it up. Nate seems clueless as to the ways of women, which is probably why he and Little J never went anywhere and she’s crashing her own parties. And Dan…oh, Dan. All I can say is that your hair is so much better here than it is this season.

As is the plot, frankly.

The Grandfather - Part 2 of 3 - Like a Train Wreck

We definitely know it's love between Nate and Vanessa--he's even willing to go on an unplanned, unorganized jaunt around the Eastern bloc.

I like a Vanessa Abrams who's dating Nate.  She has definitely tamed her wilder instincts and laid off the overdone costume jewelry.



Very cute navy and green plaid coat.  That looks like something even Blair might be caught dead in.

Embellishment comes to Vanessa as natural as breathing, so it's hard for her to turn it off completely, but she has learned to tone it down and keep it in a similar palette.


Pre-Nate, she would have worn this super cute blue color-blocked cardigan with some hideous neon screenprinted affair.  Here she pairs it with a charming cream blouse, with just the slightest hint of embellishment on the embroidered neckline.  The necklaces are even simple, and her plain silver earrings the perfect accompaniment.  

Vanessa's cocktail attire is even more accomplished.  She's soignee '60s elegance with her tousled curls and vampy patterned dress hid demurely under a simple cream cardigan.



The gold necklace is the perfect final touch--I love the way it gathers at the side.  Elegant with just a touch of what makes Vanessa, Vanessa.  If she kept dressing this way, we'd have to stop making fun of her.

As for Nate himself, he's his usual Brooks Brothers, blue-wearing self.



There is something to said for consistency and whoever buys his clothes (his mother), knows what suits his personal style.  Also, what looks best after a night--or two--of lying on the floor.

Nate's older cousin Tripp has come to herd the naughty sleep back to the Van der Bilt flock.  Tripp once imagined himself a heroic Indiana Jones-esque archaelogist, but saw the light when the Grandfather's political ambitions called.



It's a choice he's clearly embraced, as he looks even more Brooks Brothers than Nate.  I have to appreciate the pop of yellow in his otherwise completely blue attire.

Could this differentiation be because of his sweetheart, Maureen?



She clearly appreciates a good citrus shade as much as the next girl.  The fabric of her coat is just retro enough to bring to mind a young Jackie Kennedy, but the orange detailing proves her to be thoroughly modern.

The Grandfather is just as you would picture him:  powerful and traditional.



Love his dark overcoat with the light colored sweater underneath.  A stylish and expensive looking ensemble that he's about as likely to have put together as Nate is.  

Upon further viewing, it's confirmed that Grandfather never would have selected this gorgeous lilac shawl-collar sweater.



Despite that, it's a gorgeous speciman, and I love especially love the subtle cabling on the sleeves.  With just a look, it's obvious from its luxurious weft that it is definitely cashmere.

On the opposite end of the social spectrum, Dan is busy being awkward.

When he's not dating Serena, his whole character takes on a very unnecessary vibe, which leads to all kinds of uncomfortable shenanigans, like he and Miss Carr in the costume closet.

In this episode, he tags along with Nate and Vanessa to the Van der Bilt compound, and he's, well, he's a little superfluous.  Basically he's there to make uncomfortable cracks about his poor Brooklyn background (come on, his dad is an ex-famous rocker who owns a fairly successful art gallery).  Oh, and someone has to represent the plaid side of things.



It's not even that this coat is ugly.  It is.  It's both ugly and old and just plain worn down.  I don't watch TV to be transported into a reality more realistic than my own.  Eric Daman, please, for the love of God, get Dan a new coat.

The charcoal sweater he's wearing isn't really all that bad--if only he wasn't sporting plaid underneath it.

Does the boy own something that isn't plaid?



I guess not, since he's forced to wear plaid under his sport coat to a cocktail party.  Dan, just a hint, when the invite says "cocktail" that means that plaid is not allowed, no matter how friendly you are with the heir of the house.  Especially when the owner of said house tends to arrive via helicopter.