Valley Girls - Part 1 of 2 - Blast from the Past

Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme - Chuck Bass' claims not to be into your girlfriend aren't worth a dime. Dan springs Serena from the pokey and escorts her to prom, a magical night engineered by fairy godfather Chuck to be everything Queen B's ever dreamed of (remind me why she's with Nate again?) While the kids are grooving down, making out and getting it on, Lily takes a trip down memory lane and a spin down the highway to California and her teenage self.

Cue young Lily, a prep without compare. An ensemble of pink shirt, argyle sweater vest and belted pink slacks are more middle aged spread than the young and restless, but her tweed blazer is just adorable enough to pull the whole look together.

Real world Lily is still in her warrior jewellery and dressed as a mocha frappuccino in far too many shades of brown. No wonder Blair is judging her.

Good thing Cece's on hand to keep up the fabulous quota. I love the different shades of ivory and beige, and the raggedyness of her lapels is gorgeous with a tailored blouse and sleek hair.

Back down Memory Lane, we meet not only young Cece - a fierce fox who takes her gin without tonic and who makes Dynasty look cheap - but also Rick Rhodes, AKA Blane McDonough.

If you don't get the Pretty in Pink reference, that's on you. I'm not old enough to have watched the Brat Pack films either, but they are too good to miss.

When Rick rejects Lily's love and we begin to understand why she married daddy issues machine Bart Bass, our heroine goes in search of her sister Carol...instead, she finds Owen, a rockabilly bad boy stereotype. 

I thought he might be young Rufus. That plaid shirt and leather jacket threw me for a while.

But Rufus doesn't have it in him to be a bad boy. His failed proposal suit is still nice and crisp, but his heart is not.

And while Lily's no bad seed herself, she still thinks breakfast is an adequate apology for having her daughter arrested. She does 'angelic' well in a soft grey t-shirt and white cardigan...and then reminds us she's a force to be reckoned with by adding some serious sparkle.

Cece is a salmon coloured sweatsuit, so she's still fresh after kicking your ass. Like mother, like daughter: blingy earrings and a brooch work surprisingly well with workout gear.

Young Lily is still hunting Carol and needs to blend in with the natives. Gratuitous eighties montage time!

Much better. There's some of the Lily we know and love in there with the overload of pearls, a sharp leather jacket a la Serena and a dress that defies description. I like it, now I hate it, now I like it again.

I actually do hate what Carol's wearing - not the miniature sitars hanging from her ears so much as red leather, red lipstick and a surfeit of crosses. Who is she, Hellboy?

Carol's gunning for the guy who stole her music video and slept with her - now I see where Serena gets it from. His name is Keith van der Woodsen, so I guess he's young Billy Baldwin's brother? So that means Serena's maternal aunt hooked up with her paternal uncle and...let's just focus on his nasty turned up collar and dislike of colour and detail.

Since Lily gets her lovin' from Rufus nowadays, she also turns to him for advice about Serena. The funny thing is, I almost like this plaid shirt. The red in the pattern is a bold choice for Rufus.

Rufus and Lily smoke pot together in the next episode, but let's focus on earlier infractions. Carol posts bail in a slightly more acceptable outfit, even for 1983. Her striped shirt and denim jacket combo is tres Parisienne, as are the headwrap and chandelier earrings.

Olivia Newton Mom does not approve. Way to get physical, Cece.

But in the real world, I approve. This sequinned pashmina is so covetable - if a little too much when worn with heavy jewellery.

I must also point out that Cece's perfect waves would shame her grandaughter's ratty locks.