Raiders of the Lost Art - Part 2 of 2 - Les Hommes

Chuck has a whole handful of issues--trust issues, mommy issues, daddy issues, Blair issues. . .

. . .but at least we can consistently count on him for not having any sartorial issues.



What a gorgeous paisley robe.  Blair, I hope you are taking notes.

And of course, when you show up to ask a lady a favor, you always look your best.  



Like this wonderful gray overcoat.

Or this gorgeous navy pinstriped three-piece suit. 



The pop of color in his lavender pocketsquare and the periwinkle tie is just perfect.  Nobody wears a suit like Chuck Bass does.

Can you really blame Dan for not trying, then?

At least he's wearing a color that isn't blue or gray.  Still sporting that ridiculous hair-mop though.



Minus 50 points for not tucking said shirt in.  Seriously Dan, you are not in high school anymore.

Unbelievably, Nate might be able to give his buddy Dan some pointers.



The slim-cut suit was really designed for a build like Nate's.  Chuck couldn't wear these because he's a bit stockier, but they are sex-on-a-stick for Nate.  Can you really fault Lola for turning her back on a lifetime of UES-hatred for a chance to get into those snug pants?  I don't think so.



I see, though, that Nate has returned to his favorite place -- Island Blue.  That's okay, I'm prepared to be rather indulgent because of how good he looks.

Uncle (Dad?) Jack would feel right at home on the Hairspray set.  He's sporting a serious control freak hairdo.



As if he didn't already look slimy enough.



That is one thing that Bart and Chuck always had in common:  they could wear the hell out of a suit.  Jack just looks sloppy and careless, as if it doesn't matter what's on his body.

As for Mr. Bass himself, he looks fairly good considering that he's spent the last few years in a coffin.

OH WAIT. . .



Still dapper as ever.  Love the blues and grays in his tie, and how his suit picks up the miniscule pinstripes in his shirt.  For sheer genius at complementary matching, Bart needs to be Chuck's dad, dead or alive.

You've Got Yale - Part 2 of 3 - Cutting Class

Good morning, sunshine!

Lily emerges from an encounter with the rugged Rufus looking charmingly rumpled. Her face is bare and lovely, and she looks comfy – comfy, on the UES! – in an olive green shirt and grey cardigan. Half the reason I love Lily is because she’s toting around a huge pair of diamond studs first thing in the morning.

Then she changes into a pair of more fabulous earrings…and a muumuu. Can’t they just stand Kelly Rutherford behind large bits of scenery rather than swathe her bump in layers of blah?

Elsewhere, Jack Bass is busy being hot. This family has a flair for suits, mixing pinstripes, paisley and a popping red pocket square in this case.

But his nephew has a pastel coloured place in my heart. The mix of large and small checks on the shirt and blazer is glorious, especially as it ties in the soft pink of Chuck’s sweater vest. Mr Schue, he certainly is not, though he looks like he could do with a little glee.

Rufus possesses enough willing for two, but in his favourite faded blue shirt, enough style for zero.

He cleans up nicely, I’ll admit, but any man can pull off a tuxedo (or, more likely, every tuxedo can pull off a man).

As to Lily’s dress: from the bust up, the pleating and sequin detail. Below that, I spy with my little eye something beginning with baby. As previously mentioned, I loathe dressing pregnant women in sacks – but not even bothering to conceal their bumps from the camera is worse.

Uncle Jack, tux-less at the opera. A poor showing.

At least Chuck does the family proud in classic, if not flamboyant, attire. I love his polka dotted bowtie.

It’s the morning after the night before when Jack failed to get his rapey hands all over Lily (and got punched out by Chuck in a strange Hamlet parallel), and Rufus is still wearing his dress shirt with an amazing lack of wrinkles or creases.

I like the idea that kind fairies – AKA Jenny and Eric – ironed him while he slept.

I decided to cap this facial expression because that is exactly how I feel about robes and muumuus. If you’re small, get it fitted. If you’re big, get it fitted. Don’t dress in curtains!

Chuck reappears to display filial love and nurse his sore knuckles. He goes for pink and neutrals again, this time more muted but with similar checks in the coat as the blazer of earlier. The preppy neckline of his sweater vest makes for manly chic.

Gone With the Will - Part 2 of 3 - The Bad

I think we all know what Blair was thinking when she selected this empire waisted dress for her private "not a date" dinner with Chuck.  I have to applaud her way of thinking, and even though she looks fabulous, I think Chuck would have agreed with me:  it's not her.

Frankly, it looks just a little too much like a slip for me.

Jack Bass is the epitome of a wolf in a sheep's skin.



Why?  He's wearing the Bass purple, and the nasty streak in him a mile wide proves he doesn't deserve it.

Oh, Serena.



While Blair's dress might have looked vaguely lingerie-like, at least she didn't have an easy-access zipper.  And despite the field trip to Dylan's Candy Bar, stringing rock candy onto your necklace is just plain tacky.

This is, unfortunately, not much better.



The sequined sweater dress usually ages just about anyone 10 years, unless you're 40, and then it looks like you're just trying too hard.

I don't hate this studded gray coat of Jenny's, but for some reason I still find it odd.  Still, Little J is headed the right direction with the bejeweled collar.  I think the problem is all the decoration plus the extra detailing. It's a lot of look for one simple coat.

As for the Mean Girls, they don't get it right, either.



The individual parts of Nelly Yuki's school uniform aren't bad, but as a whole they don't work that well together.  I love her red glasses, and it would have been great to see more color in general instead of that sad looking black and white furry poncho.

Isabel looks great, though, in this smart plaid trench with coordinating purple tie.

I hate to say it, but Penelope would be much better off dropping the headband schtick.  They aren't flattering on her.  Otherwise, her hair would be really pretty on her, and I do love the nubby pink and gray plaid coat.

This tryptic of outfits begs the question: do they have rules such as "On Wednesdays we wear plaid coats"? I would very much enjoy an Insider's Guide to the CB Mean Girls to explain such things.

In the Realm of the Basses - Part 1 of 2 - We are (Estranged) Family

Episode Synopsis: In a plot which more resembles the Lion King than Gossip Girl, Chuck mourns his father with a bender and the beginning of a grudge match with his evil uncle while Blair hovers off to one side, restraining herself to some Emmy worthy tears over Jim Morrison Chuck. The Jenny and Eric Tag Team champion Nelly Yuki, while I bemoan what’s become of the minions. Lily and Rufus hunt their long given-away-in-a-private-adoption-lost son, making Dan and Serena’s rekindled romance yet creepier.

Blair is working on building a life without ‘Meester Chuck’ after he vamoosed from her bed and Manhattan last episode. She does so wearing a skirt suit with kitschy and adorable puff sleeves, but the colour is a little dowdy. The boxy red purse helps, as does her gorgeous hair, but Blair’s buttoned up outfit ends up seeming just as repressed as she is.

Thank heavens for timelessly smart coats, especially Dorota’s recurring fur concoction. May God have mercy on us, however: the curse of the white tights hath returneth!

Someone else in need of a little grace is Chuck Bass, busy smoking opium in an embroidered green silk robe. Enough with the suits, he needs to live and die in robes. Preferably not die, though.

…except that self-destructing is one of Chuck’s favourite occupations. Once again, we are gifted with the lovely sight of Chuck in a sweater, this one pale yellow, not to mention a classic double-breasted coat. The spliff is optional and not half so chic.

Bringing Chuck home from the wilds like a stoned Labrador is Uncle Jack – the first rule of being a Bass is, it appears, to have a one syllable name, and the second is to know the value of a good tie and a Wall Streeter white collar.

But bad little pot smoking boys have to be punished by Headmistress Queller, who ‘could do better’ as she probably likes to tell her students. If you’re going for a pussy bow blouse, go all the way, go vintage Chanel. Don’t let your collar hide away and pretend to be a string tie.

Rufus isn’t looking too bad this episode, since a leather jacket is usually a winner and there are a lot of great shades going on his scarf.

He might scrape a five out of ten if he weren’t wearing his favourite denim shirt underneath. Also, his stubble seems to disappear and reappear between scenes.

Someone with as unimaginative a wardrobe as Rufus really has no right to go for Lily, whose heavy jewellery ages her a little, admittedly, but who looks classy and trim in this high-necked black coat. Her hair is a little messier than usual, which is nice.

Speaking of classy coats, Blair wears a wonderful one in teal tweed, cut flawlessly to reveal her ruff-necked blouse. I actually really like this outfit, despite how fussy it is. It’s tres regal, as is her hair: smooth and pretty and topped with a trademark red plaid band.

Alhough this coat loses Queen B points. It’s too big, and the shape looks too much like a towelling robe. The diamante collared shift dress is most majestic; I have no idea as to the purpose of her beret, especially indoors, but I do go mad for millinery. Snaps for Blair.

Meet the Cardigan – I mean, Colony Club. They’re supposed to look like grown up Blairs.

They end up looking like Evangelists who’ve just heard a naughty word.

While not quite as moral, Lily is just as much of a let-down as the club ladies in this baggy cardigan – trying to hide Kelly Rutherford’s bump should mean fab, not drab. Her blouse is both pleated and embellished, but the colour should be warmer so it doesn’t wash out her skin.

I love a man in a good turtleneck. Particularly when his sweater is flesh coloured. And when he’s got the plainest brown coat in the world over the top.

Luckily, Chuck is here to tempt us over to the dark side. This suit jacket has skinny tuxedo lapels, which would look cheap on an actual tux but which are sharp in this case. Add a crimson shirt for our devil du jour and a deep blue ascot and we’re away – away up to the roof, that is, with a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label and suicidal tendencies.

Uncle Jack, working those stripes! Just like his late brother, Jack Bass knows his patterns. Unfortunately, he has no idea about not yelling at someone standing on the edge of a building.

Luckily, Blair does. For future reference, grab a pair of dominatrix worthy leather gloves, wobble your lip and entice that boy down with your big Bambi eyes and undeniable sexual chemistry. For best results, hug it out until he begs you to stop.

Luckily, Chuck is around to tempt us over to the dark side. This suit jacket has skinny tuxedo lapels, which would look cheap on an actual tux but which are coolly rumpled in this case. Add a crimson shirt for our devil du jour and a deep blue ascot and we’re away – away up to the roof, that is, with a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label and suicidal tendencies.

Shattered Bass - Part 1 of 3 - The Good

Episode synopsis: Blair is trying to convince Louis' mother that she is a worthy princess. Unfortch, her habit of running off to talk to Chuck in secret makes Louis and his mère suspicious. Charlie finagles an invite to the Constance Billard Alumni Ball from Dan, then throws away her meds, steals Serena's Cotillion dress (except she doesn't), and tries to seduce Dan as "Serena" (or does she?). Uncle Jack comes to town and at first, it seems like he's screwing Chuck over, but then in a double-cross, he kind of saves the day. Oh, and Raina finds out Russell caused the fire that killed her mother. And Russell, pissed at the Bass men's double-cross, lures Blair onto an abandoned rooftop and... to be continued.

So, I've got to come clean. I've been perusing the recaps of this show (mainly for the fashion) but haven't seriously sat and watched an episode of GG for longer than I'd care to admit. But I'm sure everything's the same as last time I watched it... right?

 

Oh, actually, Serena looks even better than I remembered. And she spent most of the episode quite covered-up and classy-looking. Now, from reading recaps, I know this is actually quite unusual. But I think that, given what we learn about Charlie this episode, they needed to make Serena look as sane as possible.

I really did like this dress, which she spends the first half of the episode waltzing around in. It's light and airy and not too short, and I like how she's complimented the airy fabric with heavier necklaces and rings. 

This frock is an unusual colour with an unusual cut, and half of the torso seems to be covered with about 25 brooches. But, Serena being Serena, it looks good. Kind of like a muumuu mixed with a shower curtain, but the fit is nice and, again, she's nicely covered up. It kind of reminds me of something Lily would wear, minus the chest embellishment.

But come on with the earrings. Those are heinous earrings. Those are like JLo circa Jenny-From-The-Block-earrings. The best I can say about them is at least they're a somewhat neutral colour. All in all, though, a nice showing from Serena this week.

(And can I say that I feel a bit ripped off to recap an episode where Serena only wears two outfits? For an episode containing two black-tie events, there was a distinct lack of costume changes.)

Now, I'm not quite sure who this Raina person is, but I thought that her two outfits were cute this week, too. Perhaps a little plain but... well... given what we see some other characters (*cough*Blair*cough*) wearing later on, I think simple and elegant is a good way to appear.

This orange dress was Jen's pick for best outfit of the show. And I think it's pretty, but wouldn't have been my pick.


I like the interesting neckline (what does Raina have against dresses with two straps?), and it falls in this gorgeous, Grecian sort of way:

I wondered about how often these women are driven around in yellow cabs in these designer dresses. Wouldn't they be more nervous of sitting on gum, or something? Or has the recession meant that they can't use their personal limos as frequently?

Princess Sophie, however, I'm certain would never ride around in a yellow cab. You guys, I think she's my favourite character right now. Not for the above outfit, but for what she wore to the engagement party:

Ooh la la and tres bien. LOVE the hemline, LOVE the utilitarian jacket, LOVE the clutch and LOVE LOVE LOVE the neckline:

This, Raina, is how to truly rock a one-strap neckline. This is also my pick for best outfit of the week. {Ok, you might have a point...is it too late to change my pick? - E-I-C Jen} The Princess manages to be both classy, on-trend, fashion-forward and unique all at the same time. Mais oui.

And yes, Jen. It's too late. You made your 700-thread count bed, now lie in it.

{Hmph.}

Moving on. Eleanor also looked fabulous at the engagement party:

She's still a fashion designer, right? Oh, yes, how could I forget VITAMINWATER PROMOTIONAL MOMENT:

On the upside, Eleanor looks good here. And is that bright pink flavour new? Sorry, sorry, I'm just having flashbacks to the VITAMINWATER martini bar from the Season 2 premiere.

Let's all cleanse our palettes with a refreshing picture of Jack:

Yeah, I don't know. He wore this suit the entire episode. I don't know how to recap a bunch of guys in suits and ties, but he looks good here, I think? And he certainly was a good guy this week, saving the day with his clever double-cross.