G.G., Part 1 of 3: The Blushing Bridal Party

The day we've all been waiting for ... ish ... is finally here. The gang's all ready, but Blair has made one terrible miscalculation: she didn't invite Georgina. Instead, Georgina decides to crash the party, seduce Louis, and ruin the wedding - you know, as one does. She fails to seduce Louis, but does manage to record Blair telling Chuck she still loves him. This tape ends up on Gossip Girl just as Blair is standing at the altar. It looks like the wedding's off, but after groveling to Louis, they actually tie the knot. Unfortunately for Blair, he hasn't forgiven her - he's just decided to grow a personality, and that personality is basically a very cold, cruel jerk. Realizing she's trapped in a loveless marriage - and that Dan wrote Louis' vows - Blair flees before the honeymoon, with Dan driving the getaway car.

Most importantly, though: Gossip Girl is revealed!

For once, Blair gets to enjoy someone else's dream sequence.

Serena's subconscious is kind of enough to give Blair flattering makeup and nice hair. Essentially, this is the best Blair has lookd in ages.

For contrast, here's how Blair's been running around town on her wedding day:

In her bathrobe.

Okay, I realize that it's actually a very expensive coat, but the belt and the wide lapels give it a distinct "bathrobe" vibe. And, of course, she's opted to accent the look with yet another tiny hat. Now that she's a runaway bride, can she go back to the headbands? I yearn for her power headbands.

Part of the problem with tiny hats is that they make your head look gigantic, particularly if you have a very round face to begin with. All season, Leighton's face has looked off to me, and I think a big part of the problem has been these stupid tiny hats (as well as the flat hair).

And the makeup. Oh god, the makeup. Remember back when Blair had perfect, dewy makeup? I miss those days. How much eye makeup does she really need? I think Blair needs a refresher course on daytime makeup, because the excessive eye shadow, the obvious blush, and the bright lip are not doing her any favors. It looks like she's a 14 year old girl who's finally been allowed to play with makeup.

Okay, I'm including this cap for two reasons:

1) Is Princess Blair doing her own makeup? I realize that the Dutchess did her own makeup (supposedly) for the wedding, but after the prior cap, how did Eleanor not intervene and demand hair and makeup for Blair?

2) Can anyone ID that shade of Chanel lip gloss? I absolutely love it. It's not right for Blair's wedding day, but I'm not attending royal weddings any time soon.

Look, I love Blair. She is my favorite character, hands down. In the early seasons, her hair and makeup were absolutely stunning. Remember how lush her hair used to be? Those bouncy curls, the shininess? It was enough to put the girls of Rosewood to shame.

But oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Blair. You are marrying a prince. Spring for a trim. Your hair is one bottle of peroxide away from fourth-season Jenny. Look at those ends! You might have been going for beachy waves, but you wound up with Spring Break hangover hair. Where is the volume? The shine?

Seriously, how is it that Eleanor only realized on Blair's wedding day that Louis isn't right for her? All Eleanor had to do was look at Blair's hair. It's a cry for help.

Okay, I had to include this cap to give credit where credit is due:

Once the veil is on, the makeup looks much less harsh. Of course, she's spending the rest of the wedding with the veil off, but for the few seconds when she walks down the aisle, she really does look beautiful.

And of course, the Vera Wang wedding dress, in all its glory:

I know this is a random thing to focus on, but I love the scalloped hem. It has such an old-world feel. The line of the skirt with the veil is so perfectly classic - a nice reminder that Vera Wang, even with all the hype, does create gorgeous silhouettes.

The only thing I'm not crazy about with the dress is the bodice:

A random tulle bow and a fairly plain bodice are all very "meh" to me. I wish there had been more of a drape to the bodice. As it stands now, the bow hides her tiny waist (a remnant of when she was trying to hide her pregnancy, I'm guessing). If there had been a shape to the top of the bodice and more detailing to the rest of it, the dress could have been slightly more flattering. But hey, we'll leave that for the next wedding.

Also, am I the only person bummed that Dorota was not in the wedding party? Then again, if she'd been a bridesmaid, we would have missed out on her weird, matronly dress with what appears to be a "Best in Show" ribbon.

For the record: if you are making that face on your wedding day, and the three most important women in your life don't immediately stop and offer to sneak you out the bathroom window, Rachel Green-style ... that's a bad sign.

Aw, the Blairents! It's nice to see the return of Harold, looking sharp as always. I also kind of love that he and Eleanor are color-coordinated.

I'm happy to see Eleanor in rich colors for a change, but wish she'd opted for a more open neckline with that jacket. It had a lot of business going on down the lapels, and the tie-neck blouse makes the whole thing just seem overdone and claustrophobic.

I have such a hard time believing that a woman who designs such cute, vintage-inspired dresses can opt for such a dowdy, unflattering dress:

Eleanor, we need to talk. Stretchy satin is a friend to no woman, particularly when it's as poorly cut as it is on this dress. It's giving you a baby bump. A baby bump. And it's creating weird folds around your macaron. Do you really have no one in your life to tell you these things?

I'm guessing Cyrus is a bit too tactful to say "Honey, that dress makes you look like a pregnant moose," but have you no girlfriends who will be blunt, then pull eight other dresses that are far more flattering? Because I know I speak for all of us here at YKYLF when I say: we're here for you. Call us next time your daughter marries a Prince.

I mean, really. Who lets a dress drape like this? What is happening here?

Points for the cape, though. That's really the perfect outerwear for a rogue mission to ask your daughter's ex to crash the wedding.

O Brother, Where Bart Thou? - Part 1 of 2 - Frustrations & a Funeral

Episode Synopsis:  Bart Bass has died, leaving us glad we no longer have to recap his boring business suits. Lily is relieved she can end her most recent marriage with a funeral rather than a court appearance, and Chuck is devastated that he and his father never could see eye to eye. Serena still can't decide between Dan and Aaron the Artist, even though the former considers coffee in Williamsburg a date, and the latter wants to whisk her away to Buenos Aires. The funeral leads to a Chuck Bass Bender and the Chuck Bass Bender leads to a Blair confession that surprises no one, but still remains one of the most heartfelt moments in the series.

Lily, like all good UES trophy wives, has had her share of divorces. Widow territory, however, is totally out of her element. As evidence, we find her focusing on the food for the wake, rather than the fact that her husband is dead.



Dealing with Bart's death still hasn't dimmed our Lily's fabulosity though.  Love the layered gray and mauve jackets, paired with a string of chunky olive glass beads and smooth blond waves.

And who is it comforting Lily during her time of need?



No judgement, but not sure how Lily can trade those business suits for a man who wears kitchen towels as scarves.  Rufus certainly does stick to his fashion guns--if we can even call this fashion.  That coat saw better days as a burlap sack for potatoes.

Aaron asks Serena to go to Buenos Aires for Christmas with him.  All in all, a pretty spectacular gesture he hopes will distract her from Lonely Boy once and for all.



Frankly, he would be better off not dressing so depressing, even though it's a funeral.  Becuase even though Aaron's father is a successful entertainment lawyer who even knows Cyndi Lauper (Inconceivable!) he's clearly not into the whole UES scene.  Which means he doesn't realize that there's no funeral like an UES funeral.

Serena, with all that blue blood flowing through her veins, understands what the occasion demands.  Black, naturally, but not just any LBD--Serena chooses a tight one shouldered affair paired with several strands of natural stones.

The double-breasted trench with military collar she wears to the funeral is really classy, so of course she discards it as quickly as possible.

Dan's been dating--and not dating--Serena long enough to be familiar with what's expected, even at a funeral.  Here he pairs a simple white shirt and gray tie with a gorgeous gray heather wool coat and black leather gloves.

Sister Jenny pairs a dull gray frock with this awesome black boucle jacket and killer leather gloves.  The safety pin purse might be pushing it, but she still looks fierce.

The fiercest funeral participant has to be Blair, though, in her classy black shift with navy blue touches.

Nobody wears pearls (or a pout) quite like the Queen B.

The only sour note is this ill-fitted blue jacket with the sloppy bow neckline.  

I've also got to give snaps to Eleanor for wisely staying away from anything black or shiny.



This dark navy velvet blazer is gorgeous, especially with the orchid silk blouse.  And like her daugher, she understands that pearls and funerals are the perfect pairing.

Cyrus, like his son Aaron, just doesn't get the fashionishta parade that is a UES funeral.



Too dark, Cyrus.  We need a touch of color, even gray, somewhere.

If not a color, then something fun and sparkly, like Grandma Cece.



Her suit is stunning--I love the sparkly lapels and the tie emphasizing her tiny waist.  She, like Blair and Eleanor, know just went to break out the pearls, this time with a sparkly diamond clasp.

Poor Chuck and Lily.  They seem to be the only two characters here actually broken up by the death.



Chuck would normally be rocking this wide pinstriped ssuit with black tie, and accent purple pocket squre, but the disheveled and distraught Chuck clearly couldn't get beyond picking out the appropriate items of clothing.  He looks ilke he hasn't seen an iron or a shower in a few days too many.

Lily doesn't even bother picking out something fabulous.  She phones it in, donning a plain black shift with the most miniscule trim hiding along the collar.  

The coat she dons on top of the dress isn't any better.



It's just too simple, and let's face it, her wonderful waves gone a little too limp to qualify.  

O Brother, Where Bart Thou? - Part 2 of 2 - Revelations & Rings

With Bart's death, there's naturally a run on the closely guarded information he'd collected about his family.  Lily wants everything he learned to stay secret, while her mother seems eager for her "big secret" to become public knowledge.

Maybe it's Lily's frustration that leads to this pathetic attempt at post-funeral chic.



The cranberry red is lovely, as is her hair, but the cut is just sloppy and unflattering.

Unlike the object of his affection, Rufus actually looks pretty good in his sweater.



Rufus should dress like this all the time--the turtleneck sweater is well-fitted and classic, but the jeans add just the right edgy rock n' roll touch.

Cece, always the fashion maven even at her age, looks so chic in this oatmeal embellished jacket.  Doesn't Lily know this isn't what you wear to buy secret information about your daughter's past?

 

Chuck, buyer of aforementioned secret information, looks like he not only had time to finalize the deal but also to shower and brush his hair.



The plaid pattern of this suit is awesome, and is a definite return to Chuck Bass form.

Serena continues to be the single most indecisive characters on television by having breakfast with Dan while still contemplating going to Buenos Aires with Aaron.



She also continues to look killer while vacillating.  The black wool military jacket paired with gray scarf is really flattering--and those gray and black colorblocked gloves are drool-worthy.

Maybe Dan isn't her final choice because he doesn't put in the proper effort into this brunch attire.  I can't tell if that's a plaid scarf or a shirt but in the end it doesn't matter becasue it's still plaid.

As for Aaron, well . . .he gets the girl. But really only by default because it can't be this wedding suit that wins the game for him.



Hasn't anyone ever told him that if he isn't going to wear a tie, wearing his shirt buttoned up to his Adam's apple makes him look like an extra on Fiddler on the Roof?

Especially when Serena looks so gorgeous in her cream-colored ensemble.



Her khaki trench is just flawless, and the cream dress beneath it is even more stunning.



Love the red accent beads, just delicate enough not to overwhelm the outfit, and the sequinned hem adds just the right celebratory touch.

Even Dorota gets into the wedding spirit, wearing this beautiful bejeweled headband and a flattering gold dress with embellished neckline.



I'd be willing to bet that Blair lent her that headband.

Blair herself doesn't don a headband, but she more than makes up for it with her dress.



The pleated fan touch is definitely beautiful and even though it adds a little bulk to the Queen B's frame, the cream and gold of the silk sets off her complexion flawlessly.

As for the blissful couple themselves, they definitely do not disappoint.



See Aaron?  A tie is undoubtedly called for here.  So many shades of white and cream could be difficult to coordinate but Cyrus (or Eleanor by extension), really does an excellent job of pairing them.

And Eleanor herself. . .so classy and beautiful and not a shiny fabric in sight.



 This jacket is a really beautiful piece.  I don't buy for a minute that Jenny made it.

The Fasting and the Furious: Part 1 of 2 - The Royals

If it weren't for shows by Josh Schwartz, I'd have no idea what happens on Jewish holidays. Like Chrismakkah and Yom Kippur. I have a feeling this is not the best way to learn about other religions, Because all I've learned from this UES Yom Kippur is you a) don't eat anything, you b) fight over the control of your unborn child, you c) two time your friends and family and you d) get a little cranky about it. Which is to say, Blair announces she's pregnant to the delight and the dramz from both families. Chivy and Nate are helping Diana compete against Gossip Girl by breaking into the Bart Bass Vault, with mixed results and boring stories about Monaco royals (really, do you ever read about Monaco royals in the gossip mags?). Dan's still a bit of a lonely boy because his friends and family continue to have their knickers in a twist over his book (which looks suspiciously inspired by the first Gossip Girl cover). And Chuck is eyeing the therapists couch - either to do the good doctor or to talk. We'll see if a cigar really is just a cigar. 

Let's start with the royalty of Monaco and the UES.

The poor assistant looks like she could moonlight as a depressed Secret Service agent, but Beatrice and Queen Sophie look lovely for having just jetted into town for the event. Beatrice does dressing young and wealthy right - the dresses are short, but she's still hiding the goods (unlike some of our UES friends). And I totally dug the exposed zipper.

Too bad this how Blair decided to dress for her big announcement.

It's like she was caught off guard by their visit while she was hanging around in a tank top she's owned since she was 12 and didn't bother with a bra.  But no. That outfit was totally planned. And planned to wear with these pants.

Sweet merciful...well, at least her tank top matches the floral arrangement. And while I've never been preggers, I feel like you generally don't go for the high waisted trouser that accentuates and covers the expanding belly. Just a guess. 

In another wing of the penthouse, Serena looks like she's starting the day off right in this turquoise sequiny top. 

Don't be too encouraged by her tastefulness. 

Honestly, Serena. Would one more inch have killed you? I really worried that you were going to flash your macaron at the audience if you swung your skirt too fast. And you'd save yourself a lot of pain on those vinyl chairs with an extra inch. I know the pain of legs sticking to the chair, it's not fun. Maybe she could borrow some fabric from Blair's sky high waisted trousers.

Meanwhile, across town, Rufus is still nursing his hurt feelings over being called a trophy husband. And to prove his point, he gets an expensive haircut and wears suede driving loafers while ordering Mr. Chow's with his well dressed, wealthy wife.

Rufus, darling, if it quacks like a duck, well, it's probably a duck. And I looked Mr. Chow up on Yelp. That is not Chinese food for the budget conscious Rufus who used to keep it real in Brooklyn. Maybe you should pack up the pride and pick up the phone to call Dan. Or maybe you should dress up first and go to a fancy Yom Kippur party. Whatevs. 

I feel like Lily just realized she brough a purse made of vinyl, leopard print and a doily to the party. It's like her version of being caught outside in your pajamas. 

Blair, realzing she's pregnant and getting a belly decides that instead of the high waisted bottoms, she's going to cover the baby bump with a giant pink peplum. 

I almost like the dress. I like the neckline and I like the skirt hiding under the peplum. I also enjoy the back of the dress. But I do not dig on the peplum.

Even the impeccably dressed Eleanor agrees with me. The peplum is a bad afterthought on the dress. It's probably what all the parents are thinking. 

Actually, they're probably judging Princess Sophie for bringing the frump to Yom Kippur.

Seriously? A grey sack? I can't think of any party wear a grey sack is okay. Especially if you're royalty. Make like Kate or her grandmother in law The Queen and get something tailored and colourful. Your son, as dull as he is, he knows to get a tailor and he's catching on to the idea of colour. 

Between getting a pink shirt and scheming with medical professionals, I wonder if he's been inspired by Chuck.

However, the Chuck Bass Way of wearing pink shirts are a Master Class in colour theory and style. Because amateurs can't pull off a paisley tie and a purple suit as casual wear. 

The Magnificent Archibalds - Part 2 of 3 - Growing Pains

While she waved the white flag at her 18th birthday, Blair is still not thrilled with the prospect of Cyrus joining her and Eleanor at their penthouse, especially if it means joining them for Thanksgiving, which has always been her favorite holiday.



But even during stressful times such as these, Blair shows her detractors that you must rise to the occasion.  Such as this case, when even while wearing one of her typical tailored plaid uniforms, she makes sure her hair is perfectly styled.  Love the braids and the slight wave she's cultivating here.

This skirt and blouse combination is stunning on her.  The skirt has a swingy, retro feel, and the cut makes her waist look absolutely miniscule.  The print on the blouse is a little busy, but the colors suit her so I'll have to let it slide.

Blair has definitely been cultivating a subtle sexy vibe with her wardrobe choices, culminating in this forest green dress she wears for Thanksgiving.



It's definitely a form-fitting dress--tight but not ridiculously so.  The color is gorgeous on her, and I'll even tolerate the high-necked, long-sleeved puritanical vibe she's working here, because when she turns around . . .



there's absolutely nothing puritannical about it.  The juxtoposition is appropriate here, for this dress, and in many ways, really appropriate for Blair herself.  She's the sex kitten hidden behind the society miss exterior.

The coat Blair slips on to wander the streets of New York with her trusty right hand woman Dorota works beautifully, the light gray contrasting with the dark green of her dress. And I covet that brown leather satchel.

Eleanor, the subject of Blair's scorn this episode, has really progressed from her shiny neutral phase.



At least the neutral part of it.  Ignoring the overall shininess of it, I do like the muted orange, especially on her.  It looks lovely with both her skin and her hair.  A simple strand of beads completes the ensemble.

And voila, the shiny is left behind (hopefully forever)!  The structured velvet jacket is really great on Eleanor, and I love it paired with the gold link necklace.  She looks great; Cyrus seems to suit her to a tee.

Speaking of Cyrus, Blair is understandably upset about all his family traditions that threaten to replace her own.



Or maybe she's more upset that he wears Fair Isle sweater vests.

At least he dresses up for Thanksgiving, and for meeting Blair's father, Harold, who shows up to put his Blair Bear's fears to rest.



Red seems to be his default accent color, and it does serve him well, especially when paired with a smartly-tailored sport coat.

Cyrus' son Aaron fares much this worse this episode, despite his promise that Serena is the only girl he wants to date.  Only he doesn't seem to realize he'll be around another few weeks, tops. His wardrobe alone (no plaid shirts in sight), tell the entire sad story.



Looks like Fair Isle runs in the family.  When you're constantly preaching about how edgy and artistic you are, it might be wise to stay away from stuffy, traditional designs.

Or pathetic attempts to look dressier when you meet Serena's family.  That scarf isn't quite plaid enough to win her heart away from the King of Plaid, Dan Humphrey.  And Aaron, must your clothes be so loose and wrinkled?  Nate gets away with it because let's face it, he's hot, but you don't have the convenient excuse that a pair of baby blue eyes and a muscled chest offers.

Despite all these sartorial failings, Serena does seem (temporarily) infatuated with Aaron the Artist. After all compare her school outfit with the subtle dress she dons for a private dinner date with him.



This is pretty generic school uniform Serena--white shirt, buttoned only the necessary amount, loosened tie, funky vest, tied back hair.

But this, ladies and gentlemen, is Man Eater Serena.  She is sick of sharing her man, guys, and she's going to get him--preferably before he can hang out with any more friends that happen to be female.

She's straightened her hair, she's donned some delicate gold jewelry, and that calling the top of her dress a bodice is generous.  More realistically, it's a convenient way to display her two favorite assets.

But she doesn't even stop there--apparently even a heartfelt confession that all Aaron thinks about is her isn't enough.  She's got to whip out the big guns.



In this case, two shiny satin pieces of fabric she wraps around her body like a blouse and skirt.  And calling the latter the skirt is again being generous.  I do love her patterned hose though, and the necklace is quite pretty.

It's a tribute to Serena that she can wear this asset-bearing outfit and still look relatively good.  At least until she turns her head and you realize she hasn't combed her hair in a month.



Oh wait.  That was on purpose?  My bad.

Actually, my favorite item of clothing Serena wears this episode is this gorgeous tweed coat.  I'd say she should wear it during dinner, but then Aaron might not fall prey to her many charms, and in the end, Serena always gets her man. 

At least for a little while.