The Fugitives - Part 2 of 2 - When in Rome

Lately, things have been all about fabulous robes  (or hideous, depending on your taste) and doing a parent trap style switcheroo. Like Blair channeling Diana or the “twins” ChIvy and Lola.

But let’s start with the robes. Particularly Blair’s. Because she kind of tried this week.

It’s not amazeballs or anything, but it was a clear step in the right direction from what she’s been wearing lately. Maybe she brings the good robe to Brooklyn to make sure they know who’s the fairest of the Burroughs. It’s too bad she didn’t bring a better robe for Dan.

Surprise! Dan is wearing grey! Now, I think it's time we address something: Dan's ever growing head of hair. While I've explained it away to others as "because he's a writer", I think that excuse is wearing thin. And while, for the record, I'm okay with Dan/Blair romance (I know. I'm in the minority), my biggest beef with it is this: there's no way she'd let that hair go on for this long. Not for reals. Especially not with the gel he's been using lately.

The gelled hair? The purple plaid wool? Please. Although, I will say this: Dan without gel harkens back to a time when I did actually like Dan with that much hair.

But that is hair for a teenage boy. Not the boyfriend of Blair Waldorf. Longish is okay, but Dan? This is getting out of control. Especially if you're planning on keeping this girl around.

When Blair looks tidy, tailored, well accessorized and not with limp flat hair, I like her best. That is a fantastic look for Blair. Scheming and planning elaborate desserts really do wonders for her.

Even if those ornate dessert spreads baffle the questionable plot element of Roman writing school alumnus.

But random Rome guy was necessary to bring us this:

Whaaaaaaa? Still no comb, but Serena looking lovely? How is this possible? Well friends, it's possible because she's in costume. What Serena wears when Blair isn't picking her outfit? It's this.

I don't even understand what's happening there. I appreciate her attempts to cover the macaron and wear semi-sensible shoes, but it's like she escaped from a stylish production of Annie. I mean look at these girls:

Now look at Serena:

Seriously. It's leftovers from Miss Hannigan's goodwill donations.

But Serena as Blair? Love it. Love it a lot.

The coat has colour! It pops! Even the headband is super adorbs and full of colour. Much better than the drab outerwear that went with her drab orphan clothes.

The scarf has a nice pop of colour, but girlfriend needs to lay off the beige. Go for something more like this:

And really Dan, you too. Lay off the neutrals and take a page from the Style Bible of Blair W. Colour is your friend. Just look at your ex-girlfriend who shares your fondness for bad hair!

That sheath dress is all kinds of fantastic. The goods are covered, yet it's flattering. The accessories are just right. Golf claps S, golf claps. Although, I'd probably make the same face Eleanor made when she saw you.

I mean, she's comes back from Paris expecting you to flaunt what you've got and instead finds you dressed tastefully? Weird. Although, I'd make the face right back at her, because I'm not sure why Eleanor is wearing the giant wool sack of a cape. Did Paris suddenly turn one of our former regular characters into a person who knows how to dress for chilly weather? Bizarre.

But for all your tasteful dressing S and saving B's plans to head to Rome with her fella, you've dug yourself in deep with your latest shining example of how you're actually kind of a sucky friend.

S, it's what you do, not what you say. Because you can say, "I love you B" until the cows come home

Seder Anything - Part 3 of 3 - An Unfortunate Annulment

Cyrus and Eleanor are hosting their first Seder, complete with Cyrus' "Shmutz Happens" apron.

It's hard to believe he's a highly successful lawyer, but he's the man Serena seeks out to help get her marriage annulled.



The olive gray of his jacket, coupled with ivory shirt and periwinkle tie, suits him down to the ground.

Eleanor breaks out the shiny, unflattering fabrics again, but at least this time it isn't a neutral.



I do love her pearl necklaces, and her gray slacks are very flattering.

And thank you God, she finally found an outfit that isn't shiny! Eleanor truly looks like a million bucks.  Or maybe a billion Waldorf bucks.



Love the black sheath, with the fitted black jacket.  It is a bit shiny, but the shine is understated enough that I will give her a free pass.  In addition, the rock crystal necklace is a stunning, attention-getting piece that screams "look at me!"

Onto another stylish mother, we have Lily, who is still trying to hide her pregnancy.  Or rather, Kelly Rutherford's pregnancy.  Tell Rufus--it'll make dressing a lot easier.

Gorgeous, luxurious gray cashmere.  Lily looks stunning in this color.  Love the extra pop of the amethyst jewelry and the purple bag.

That is a lot of necklace.  Like Eleanor loves her shiny seperates, Lily can't stay away from the overblown jewelry.  



There's a germ of a good idea inside of the necklace, but it's just too much--too much size on the pendant, too many strands, too many jewels.  But j'adore her chunky topaz earrings.

Rufus, as usual, goes the opposite direction of his lady love.



That horrible parchment-colored, wrinkly shirt is just plain ugly.  And that brown coat does not help his case.

Serena, the wife of the hour, returns from Spain sans husband Gabriel, eager to obtain an annulment.



This outfit of Serena's is the cream of what she does best--a simple pair of skinny jeans, a cute tunic, with a cropped leather jacket.  Even her hair is just the right shade of bedhead.

Even better, I love what she wears to lawyer up.



Sequins are Serena's best friend, so not a surprise, she dons them in cardigan form, like armor.  Plus, her black tunic patterned with feathers.  And she even found time to brush her hair!  Sort of.  It's no season one coif, but at this point we'll take what we can get.

The best part of this outfit though, is the awesome blue trench she wears as a topper.

Serena's husband Gabriel reappears on the UES, and he brings his golden boy good looks. Why does she want to divorce him?



Oh, right. Because he doesn't have a tailor.  That suit jacket just hangs on him, and the color palette is just plain boring.

The best part of this outfit is the plaid scarf, with its blues, blacks and just the pop of green.





Dan, the erstwhile rival for Serena's affections, unfortunately spends 10% of the episode in the same hideous brown coat I begged Eric Daman to replace a few weeks ago.

And the rest of the episode, he wears a cater-waiter uniform, with more flair than he wears a lot of his clothes.

Let's review: Dan looks better in a uniform that in clothes he's chosen of his own volition. Ouch.

G.G., Part 1 of 3: The Blushing Bridal Party

The day we've all been waiting for ... ish ... is finally here. The gang's all ready, but Blair has made one terrible miscalculation: she didn't invite Georgina. Instead, Georgina decides to crash the party, seduce Louis, and ruin the wedding - you know, as one does. She fails to seduce Louis, but does manage to record Blair telling Chuck she still loves him. This tape ends up on Gossip Girl just as Blair is standing at the altar. It looks like the wedding's off, but after groveling to Louis, they actually tie the knot. Unfortunately for Blair, he hasn't forgiven her - he's just decided to grow a personality, and that personality is basically a very cold, cruel jerk. Realizing she's trapped in a loveless marriage - and that Dan wrote Louis' vows - Blair flees before the honeymoon, with Dan driving the getaway car.

Most importantly, though: Gossip Girl is revealed!

For once, Blair gets to enjoy someone else's dream sequence.

Serena's subconscious is kind of enough to give Blair flattering makeup and nice hair. Essentially, this is the best Blair has lookd in ages.

For contrast, here's how Blair's been running around town on her wedding day:

In her bathrobe.

Okay, I realize that it's actually a very expensive coat, but the belt and the wide lapels give it a distinct "bathrobe" vibe. And, of course, she's opted to accent the look with yet another tiny hat. Now that she's a runaway bride, can she go back to the headbands? I yearn for her power headbands.

Part of the problem with tiny hats is that they make your head look gigantic, particularly if you have a very round face to begin with. All season, Leighton's face has looked off to me, and I think a big part of the problem has been these stupid tiny hats (as well as the flat hair).

And the makeup. Oh god, the makeup. Remember back when Blair had perfect, dewy makeup? I miss those days. How much eye makeup does she really need? I think Blair needs a refresher course on daytime makeup, because the excessive eye shadow, the obvious blush, and the bright lip are not doing her any favors. It looks like she's a 14 year old girl who's finally been allowed to play with makeup.

Okay, I'm including this cap for two reasons:

1) Is Princess Blair doing her own makeup? I realize that the Dutchess did her own makeup (supposedly) for the wedding, but after the prior cap, how did Eleanor not intervene and demand hair and makeup for Blair?

2) Can anyone ID that shade of Chanel lip gloss? I absolutely love it. It's not right for Blair's wedding day, but I'm not attending royal weddings any time soon.

Look, I love Blair. She is my favorite character, hands down. In the early seasons, her hair and makeup were absolutely stunning. Remember how lush her hair used to be? Those bouncy curls, the shininess? It was enough to put the girls of Rosewood to shame.

But oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Blair. You are marrying a prince. Spring for a trim. Your hair is one bottle of peroxide away from fourth-season Jenny. Look at those ends! You might have been going for beachy waves, but you wound up with Spring Break hangover hair. Where is the volume? The shine?

Seriously, how is it that Eleanor only realized on Blair's wedding day that Louis isn't right for her? All Eleanor had to do was look at Blair's hair. It's a cry for help.

Okay, I had to include this cap to give credit where credit is due:

Once the veil is on, the makeup looks much less harsh. Of course, she's spending the rest of the wedding with the veil off, but for the few seconds when she walks down the aisle, she really does look beautiful.

And of course, the Vera Wang wedding dress, in all its glory:

I know this is a random thing to focus on, but I love the scalloped hem. It has such an old-world feel. The line of the skirt with the veil is so perfectly classic - a nice reminder that Vera Wang, even with all the hype, does create gorgeous silhouettes.

The only thing I'm not crazy about with the dress is the bodice:

A random tulle bow and a fairly plain bodice are all very "meh" to me. I wish there had been more of a drape to the bodice. As it stands now, the bow hides her tiny waist (a remnant of when she was trying to hide her pregnancy, I'm guessing). If there had been a shape to the top of the bodice and more detailing to the rest of it, the dress could have been slightly more flattering. But hey, we'll leave that for the next wedding.

Also, am I the only person bummed that Dorota was not in the wedding party? Then again, if she'd been a bridesmaid, we would have missed out on her weird, matronly dress with what appears to be a "Best in Show" ribbon.

For the record: if you are making that face on your wedding day, and the three most important women in your life don't immediately stop and offer to sneak you out the bathroom window, Rachel Green-style ... that's a bad sign.

Aw, the Blairents! It's nice to see the return of Harold, looking sharp as always. I also kind of love that he and Eleanor are color-coordinated.

I'm happy to see Eleanor in rich colors for a change, but wish she'd opted for a more open neckline with that jacket. It had a lot of business going on down the lapels, and the tie-neck blouse makes the whole thing just seem overdone and claustrophobic.

I have such a hard time believing that a woman who designs such cute, vintage-inspired dresses can opt for such a dowdy, unflattering dress:

Eleanor, we need to talk. Stretchy satin is a friend to no woman, particularly when it's as poorly cut as it is on this dress. It's giving you a baby bump. A baby bump. And it's creating weird folds around your macaron. Do you really have no one in your life to tell you these things?

I'm guessing Cyrus is a bit too tactful to say "Honey, that dress makes you look like a pregnant moose," but have you no girlfriends who will be blunt, then pull eight other dresses that are far more flattering? Because I know I speak for all of us here at YKYLF when I say: we're here for you. Call us next time your daughter marries a Prince.

I mean, really. Who lets a dress drape like this? What is happening here?

Points for the cape, though. That's really the perfect outerwear for a rogue mission to ask your daughter's ex to crash the wedding.

O Brother, Where Bart Thou? - Part 1 of 2 - Frustrations & a Funeral

Episode Synopsis:  Bart Bass has died, leaving us glad we no longer have to recap his boring business suits. Lily is relieved she can end her most recent marriage with a funeral rather than a court appearance, and Chuck is devastated that he and his father never could see eye to eye. Serena still can't decide between Dan and Aaron the Artist, even though the former considers coffee in Williamsburg a date, and the latter wants to whisk her away to Buenos Aires. The funeral leads to a Chuck Bass Bender and the Chuck Bass Bender leads to a Blair confession that surprises no one, but still remains one of the most heartfelt moments in the series.

Lily, like all good UES trophy wives, has had her share of divorces. Widow territory, however, is totally out of her element. As evidence, we find her focusing on the food for the wake, rather than the fact that her husband is dead.



Dealing with Bart's death still hasn't dimmed our Lily's fabulosity though.  Love the layered gray and mauve jackets, paired with a string of chunky olive glass beads and smooth blond waves.

And who is it comforting Lily during her time of need?



No judgement, but not sure how Lily can trade those business suits for a man who wears kitchen towels as scarves.  Rufus certainly does stick to his fashion guns--if we can even call this fashion.  That coat saw better days as a burlap sack for potatoes.

Aaron asks Serena to go to Buenos Aires for Christmas with him.  All in all, a pretty spectacular gesture he hopes will distract her from Lonely Boy once and for all.



Frankly, he would be better off not dressing so depressing, even though it's a funeral.  Becuase even though Aaron's father is a successful entertainment lawyer who even knows Cyndi Lauper (Inconceivable!) he's clearly not into the whole UES scene.  Which means he doesn't realize that there's no funeral like an UES funeral.

Serena, with all that blue blood flowing through her veins, understands what the occasion demands.  Black, naturally, but not just any LBD--Serena chooses a tight one shouldered affair paired with several strands of natural stones.

The double-breasted trench with military collar she wears to the funeral is really classy, so of course she discards it as quickly as possible.

Dan's been dating--and not dating--Serena long enough to be familiar with what's expected, even at a funeral.  Here he pairs a simple white shirt and gray tie with a gorgeous gray heather wool coat and black leather gloves.

Sister Jenny pairs a dull gray frock with this awesome black boucle jacket and killer leather gloves.  The safety pin purse might be pushing it, but she still looks fierce.

The fiercest funeral participant has to be Blair, though, in her classy black shift with navy blue touches.

Nobody wears pearls (or a pout) quite like the Queen B.

The only sour note is this ill-fitted blue jacket with the sloppy bow neckline.  

I've also got to give snaps to Eleanor for wisely staying away from anything black or shiny.



This dark navy velvet blazer is gorgeous, especially with the orchid silk blouse.  And like her daugher, she understands that pearls and funerals are the perfect pairing.

Cyrus, like his son Aaron, just doesn't get the fashionishta parade that is a UES funeral.



Too dark, Cyrus.  We need a touch of color, even gray, somewhere.

If not a color, then something fun and sparkly, like Grandma Cece.



Her suit is stunning--I love the sparkly lapels and the tie emphasizing her tiny waist.  She, like Blair and Eleanor, know just went to break out the pearls, this time with a sparkly diamond clasp.

Poor Chuck and Lily.  They seem to be the only two characters here actually broken up by the death.



Chuck would normally be rocking this wide pinstriped ssuit with black tie, and accent purple pocket squre, but the disheveled and distraught Chuck clearly couldn't get beyond picking out the appropriate items of clothing.  He looks ilke he hasn't seen an iron or a shower in a few days too many.

Lily doesn't even bother picking out something fabulous.  She phones it in, donning a plain black shift with the most miniscule trim hiding along the collar.  

The coat she dons on top of the dress isn't any better.



It's just too simple, and let's face it, her wonderful waves gone a little too limp to qualify.  

O Brother, Where Bart Thou? - Part 2 of 2 - Revelations & Rings

With Bart's death, there's naturally a run on the closely guarded information he'd collected about his family.  Lily wants everything he learned to stay secret, while her mother seems eager for her "big secret" to become public knowledge.

Maybe it's Lily's frustration that leads to this pathetic attempt at post-funeral chic.



The cranberry red is lovely, as is her hair, but the cut is just sloppy and unflattering.

Unlike the object of his affection, Rufus actually looks pretty good in his sweater.



Rufus should dress like this all the time--the turtleneck sweater is well-fitted and classic, but the jeans add just the right edgy rock n' roll touch.

Cece, always the fashion maven even at her age, looks so chic in this oatmeal embellished jacket.  Doesn't Lily know this isn't what you wear to buy secret information about your daughter's past?

 

Chuck, buyer of aforementioned secret information, looks like he not only had time to finalize the deal but also to shower and brush his hair.



The plaid pattern of this suit is awesome, and is a definite return to Chuck Bass form.

Serena continues to be the single most indecisive characters on television by having breakfast with Dan while still contemplating going to Buenos Aires with Aaron.



She also continues to look killer while vacillating.  The black wool military jacket paired with gray scarf is really flattering--and those gray and black colorblocked gloves are drool-worthy.

Maybe Dan isn't her final choice because he doesn't put in the proper effort into this brunch attire.  I can't tell if that's a plaid scarf or a shirt but in the end it doesn't matter becasue it's still plaid.

As for Aaron, well . . .he gets the girl. But really only by default because it can't be this wedding suit that wins the game for him.



Hasn't anyone ever told him that if he isn't going to wear a tie, wearing his shirt buttoned up to his Adam's apple makes him look like an extra on Fiddler on the Roof?

Especially when Serena looks so gorgeous in her cream-colored ensemble.



Her khaki trench is just flawless, and the cream dress beneath it is even more stunning.



Love the red accent beads, just delicate enough not to overwhelm the outfit, and the sequinned hem adds just the right celebratory touch.

Even Dorota gets into the wedding spirit, wearing this beautiful bejeweled headband and a flattering gold dress with embellished neckline.



I'd be willing to bet that Blair lent her that headband.

Blair herself doesn't don a headband, but she more than makes up for it with her dress.



The pleated fan touch is definitely beautiful and even though it adds a little bulk to the Queen B's frame, the cream and gold of the silk sets off her complexion flawlessly.

As for the blissful couple themselves, they definitely do not disappoint.



See Aaron?  A tie is undoubtedly called for here.  So many shades of white and cream could be difficult to coordinate but Cyrus (or Eleanor by extension), really does an excellent job of pairing them.

And Eleanor herself. . .so classy and beautiful and not a shiny fabric in sight.



 This jacket is a really beautiful piece.  I don't buy for a minute that Jenny made it.