Gossip Girl: New York, I Love You XOXO

Part 1 of 3: Gossip Girl is Dead, and so is Bart

Bart's second death opened the door for Blair's second wedding (featuring #1 better hair than her first, and #2 Meester Chuck), Georgina to find her one true scheming love, and Lily to spend her days blissfully drunk with her first husband. We didn't get the answers to all our questions, but we did get the answer to the biggest of them all: "Who am I?" Well, that one secret Gossip Girl would never tell turned out to be Dan Humphrey. Plot holes, shmot holes. But the YKYLK staffroom is oddly okay about it (some of us called it. Others had thought it was Jenny. We're just glad it wasn't all a Dan Humphrey dream). 

This episode treated us both to flashbacks (Dan's buzz cut! Chuck's scarf!) and a flash-forward wherein Nate has rubbed two brain cells together to become a viable candidate for mayor, Serena has married the man who made her teenage years miserable, and Henry Bass wins all the medals for Best Dressed Child.

It took two tries, but they finally did it.

They killed Bart Bass.

If the series wasn't ending, I would say he'd be back to win a 2013 man of the year award. But we'll assume they got him this time. 

Unlike Bart's previous death, the family wasn't feeling it. Sure Blair and Chuck had a moment in the alley - but that had more to do with guilt. 

The beaded purse was probably a bit much with that dress from last week, but I'd love to see it on it's own. 

The feelings of guilt over Bart's death didn't seem to last too long, as Blair was able to sleep peacefully and keep her purple eye makeup looking perfect. 

Unlike the police, former adversary Uncle Jack was able to get back into the country and find them within hours. He did so in style with a tailored grey suit, pink shirt and a full tea service.

He's looking a bit worse for wear these days - a little gaunt wouldn't you say? Maybe a return to New York will be good for his health. 

While Chuck and Blair were stuck in last night's clothes, Jack was full of good ideas. Namely this:

I'll give you a moment to squee and collect yourselves.

...

Okay on to what's really important: what does Blair Waldorf wear to her second wedding?? Turns out it's the something blue in a stunning Elie Saab. 

Her hair is also back to its former glory. Wearing it down hasn't done B any favours over the past season or two and I get it. Your hair changes. Sometimes it gets oilier. Stars! They're just like us! But when you're Blair Waldorf, you have the luxury of daily access to stylists and sending Dorota to hair styling school. Regardless, wearing it up like this is beautiful. And that's a very grown up version of the headbands she once rocked like a champ. 

I know she said this is the perk of a lifelong relationship with Elie Saab, but how the hell did they tailor it to fit so well? I'm no seamstress, but I know this is the kind of tailoring that takes time.

Whatever. She looks amazing and as improbabilities go, this is the least of our concerns. Although, does a lifelong relationship also get you the perk of your dress being your "something borrowed"?

More Deepa Gurnani...

 

Over the past few seasons, the flamboyant Chuck we once knew and loved toned it down. Sure there was purple (there was always purple), but there were so many suits and so much grey. But Chuck heard our cries of boredom and brought it hard for the wedding of 2012. 

A white tux! It will look dated in future wedding photos (if any profesh photos exist. Will they all be on Instagram?), but that's okay! He's Chuck Mothereffing Bass and he can do whatever he pleases. Pale pink shoes? Yes. He's Chuck Bass. A sparkly blue tie to match his brides dress in under an hour? Yes. He's Chuck Bass.

Other dudes can try, but they will never measure up to his style when he puts the effort in.

I know the cops are hot on his heels, but I kind of want to tell him to slow his roll just a bit. Because as lovely and a conniving as she can be, he's got a lifetime of this face and these friends to contend with.

This is years of judgement right here, my friends. Eleanor in her leopard print wrap strikes me as a formidable mother-in-law. You'd want to be on her good side at all times. Serena? Well, we all know how those Best Frenemies work. At least Lily will be drunk most of the time, so her well dressed and bejewelled judgement will be easier to handle. But hidden from the picture is Dorota, who'll likely be judgier than all of them combined. Chuck doesn't want to mess with that if he values his ascots. Cross Dorota and suddently the dry cleaner "accidentally" "loses" them. 

All my reservations aside, they do make a well dressed pair. 

And I'm sure it's all worth it for this:

You need another squee moment, don't you? 

...

Of course, none of this would be what it is without the other high school sweethearts of the UES. S, after reading the unpublished feelings of Humphrey, cancels her flight to LA, gets the girls out on full disply and heads to Dan's new place to confront him.

The coat itself is fine enough, but the Missoni dress? I probably could have given this a Worst Outfit nomination.

It's like she wore a well tailored carpet bag that is doing her décolletage no favours - other than making sure we know she's got some serious cleave action going on. 

Now, even if you disagree with me on the dress, I bet we can find common ground on the shoes. What do you think you'd wear with that dress (keeping in mind you've also paired it with a rather plain 3.1 Phillip Lim grey coat)? Maybe a pair of knee high boots? Or a great pair of black pumps? Or some adorable booties? All of those choices would make sense. But this is what S wore.

Yes. Glitter Louboutin stilettos with black tights. A+ for seasonally appropriate hosiery (not usually her strong suit). D- for the out of place daytime glamour. If she knew she was headed to a wedding, maybe. But since she was just headed over for a come to Jesus moment with Gossip Girl Dan, this is an odd choice. I know because I've seen what everyone else wore. 

Sure Georgina wore bondage booties, but they kind of make sense since she's usually wearing a plate of spiky armour. 

And what was S greeted with when she headed back to the city? 

God Dan. Enough with the chest hair already. You can be an artiste and slightly less furry. Or at least stop wearing so many damn V-necks. I do like the blazers though. Mostly because I love what is happening here.

I mean, holy crap Dan! What is this? You've got some mad Oscar Wilde steez happening here. Well, you know, considering you're straight, not dead and probably not quite as talented. But steez. Yes. The long burgandy coat with the grey blazer lapels layered over it and the leather satchel make up for all of your other fashion crimes this season. Of the entire series for that matter.

You really went out on a bang Humphrey. Quite literally, considering you were Gossip Girl all this time.

Can't say I saw that one coming. Not even a little bit. Well played, Humphrey. I bet if we went back and re-watched all six seasons, we still wouldn't guess it was you. 

Gossip Girl: New York, I Love You XOXO

Part 3 of 3: Ghosts of Christmas Past and Future

Forgive me if I get a little sentiment mixed into my snark. This is our last episode of Gossip Girl. I'm having a bit of a moment.  

Once the YKYLF staff got done fangirling over the wedding and the shock of who Gossip Girl is, we reveled in the flashbacks. We've come so far since Serena rode into Grand Central Station to the sounds of Peter, Bjorn and John. 

Flashback Serena is actually a lot like current Serena in her sequins, but with a flip phone. And look how young Pilot Episode Serena was! That jacket! With the stripes! I think I started watching the show because of that outfit (and started my spiral into nautical stripes).

The flashback filmed for this episode shows how much has been forgotten about S and B. 

I know we're comparing party wear to Constance wear, but I think we can see the inconsistencies. Blair's red lace is lovely, but it's not the over-the-top lovely she used to go for. And that headband? Weaksauce. 

But the flashbacks made it easy to see why we fell in love and stayed along for the ride, no matter how ridonk the ride got.

Flashback Nate's got a delightful single argyle going on. Still a lot of blue, but different blues. I wish Future Nate would embrace some sweater wear, but as we'll soon see, this is unlikey. He's accessorized it here with a joint, as Young Nate was wont to do.

Lonely Boy's big difference? The hair of course. Hello, buzzcut!

Also, I don't know that Li'l Lonely Boy would have worn a blazer a la Present Day Dan. He'd have gone cardigan or something a little more interesting (like when he had a military inspired jacket moment). He may not have been cool at school, but his style was definitely Brooklyn cool. 

And Chuck. Oh Chuck of Christmas Past!

Flashback Chuck almost nails it. The blue popped collar is all wrong, but the artful mixing and matching of patterns, right down to the signature scarf, is the Chuck that won us over. Even in pastels, early season Chuck knew how to mix things up. 

Also in the past, we can't forget Little J or the minions.

It was like a cotton candy explosion back then. Totally not the style today, but I still loved their jackets and outerwear and clear disregard for authority since they never really bothered to follow uniform dress codes. 

But how does it all end? With misty water coloured memories of the way things used to be? Oh hells no. 

Flash forward bitches! To the land of so many incoceivable things!

For starters - the NY Spectator isn't a failing newspaper that no one cares about.

And who is aboard that privately owned plane? 

Whaaaa? 

I think he thinks he's a spy with that metal briefcase. Except. Apparently in the future, Nate is poised to become the youngest mayor of New York City.

I can only assume he's slept with everyone to make this happen. Because as our readers Chloe and Lauren pointed out, there is no way Nate rubbed enough clues together to make it this far in politics or got past his past legal troubles and his tendancy to sleep with EVERYONE (Blair, Serena, Vanessa, Ivy, Jenny, Sage the minor...should I continue?). As Cyrus might say:

Oh, but that's not all. Blair and Chuck got busy faster than you can say Kate Middleton. Because this kid exists.

Unsurprisingly, Wee Henry Bass is a dapper fellow. And marriage to Blair/real death of Bart has gotten Chuck off the double breasted grey suit and brought back the ascot.

The future does look good on Blair though.

I love it a lot. It's grown up, but still pretty. 

Maybe not for a wedding, but definitely for New Year's. 

Future Lily is as lovely as ever, but there's something about Eric that isn't right.

It's as if he's spending all his time in a dive bar in Montauk instead of Sarah Lawrence.

Little has changed with Little J in five years. 

The eye makeup isn't as bad, but she's still working super hard to be edgy.

Yeah, I'm not buying this is Future Jenny and Eric. How about you? 

The Future Rufus, however... now that is a future Humphrey I buy. 

Super Hipster Rufus! Love the glasses though and the jacket. Rufus should have gotten into this look five years ago. I guess marriage to Lisa Loeb is what did it.

No, we don't understand how that happened either. No, they didn't explain. This is what happens in the GG writers rooms these days. #randomness

But they can't hold a candle to my favorite Future Couple - Jackgina! Georgack?

Either way, I see Georgie hasn't let go of sartorial tendancies, what with this Robert Rodriguez dress full body armour.

So why are all these Future Selves gathered in the Future Brownstone? 

Looking good in formal grey Dan. And you've tamed the mane of hair. Why so dressed up?

What in the what now? They're headed out of the house, right?

No?

Hells bells, Serena. Gold lamé Georges Chakra for a living room wedding? 

You said it, Cyrus. If Serena was going to wear that to the sounds of Florence + the Machine, she's going to do it in the biggest venue with the most people. No matter what Serena says, she's a girl who loves an audience. On the upside, she's got fantastic hair and earrings.

I still don't believe she'd marry Future Dan, but she looks happy, so I'll leave her be.

And is Gossip Girl really dead? Or is she haunting a future gang as they navigate the UES?

Well, that's a secret she'll never tell.

xoxo

YKYLF

Gossip Girl: The Revengers

Part 1 of 2: Out in the Cold

Jesus H. Gossip Girl, what the fresh hell was this shlock you tried to pass off as a penultimate episode to THE ENTIRE FREAKING SERIES? I imagine that by the time they got around to this episode, the GG Writers' Room was covered in paper airplanes and spitballs. "What's that you say, New Writer? A half-baked idea that has nothing to do with the previous six years of the show? Bully! Let's do it!" In sum: The Scooby Gang is still on a kick to frame Bart Bass, who's decided NYC isn't big enough for both he and his son and he tries to have him killed but he fails and he gets nominated for an award and then he dies and DOES ANYONE EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THEY'RE FIGHTING ABOUT? Something about horses? Or hotels? Oh Gossip Girl. How far you have fallen from the days when New York Magazine called you The Greatest Show of Our Time.

We open with one of Blair's Audrey Hepburn dreams. This time, it's the lesser-known 1963 flick Charade.

It's a bit startling to see Chuck dressed a la Dan Draper, but a refreshing change from his usual technicolor palette. No me gusta the black hair on B, though. She needs a touch of chestnut.

Also? Audrey Hepburn had some unbelievably tiny arms. We all know Leighton is skinny, but she looks like a normal, non-actress type person compared to Audrey.

I particularly enjoyed Bart's turn as the creepy Leopold Gideon, and PS this was totally filmed on the same set as the Waldorf apartment. See the columns? Geez, I watch this show way too much.

Après nightmare, Blair bolts up in silk floral print PJs, ready for a day of scheming and plotting. So basically, ready for the average day on Blair Waldorf's calendar.

Do you think the Waldorf-Basses meant to coordinate? I wholeheartedly applaud this look, particularly the fierce side-eye they're both giving.

And naturally, Blair's Sonia star print dress. The bold color keeps it from beeing too twee.

Yes, that was all enjoyable, but the real fashion standout in this episode was OUTERWEAR! You guys, so many yummy looks. Observe B in her raspberry beret and wool coat with the contrasting wide lapels. Perfection.

And Chuck also brings it with this textured white number, complete with coordinating pocket square. As you do.

The pockets! I die!

Speaking of color-coordinating couples, I see that Sage has caught Blue Fever from Nate. Perhaps she has a homeopathic cure stored away in the Native American-inspired bag. Is that something a Medicine Man would know about?

Underneath her cobalt coat is a deep turquoise sweater. The Blue, it's spreading.

I do appreciate the leather accents on the sleeves, even if the sweater in general looks like it'd be incredibly itchy. Gilda Radner once said "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch," but I'll bet Sage doesn't know who Gilda is. Kids today.

Oh no! Bart's caught it, too! This is all the evidence I need to affirm that he's been spending too much time with Nate. Good thing he had Nathanial hauled away.

Meanwhile, my favorite quasi-couple were apartment shopping. Apparently Dan and his hair have decided to move into this orange-hued "hovel". Georgina's words, not mine. She's bitter because her baby daddy wants to stay in Brooklyn.

Or maybe it's just her spiked purse strap and bruise-inducing jewelry that gives her the edge. Remember when she didn't dress like an soap opera villan? Go back and watch a few early episodes for some real lolz.

Speaking of villans, I still can't decide if Ivy's on the side of good or evil, but this leather dress is swaying me towards the dark side. No one dresses like this in the daytime unless they're up to no good.

Ugh. Georgina and Ivy back to back is giving me heartburn. We need a breath of fresh air...

Why Serena, you look positively lovely! She's sporting a casual braid, a respectable (yet interesting) top, and paperweight earrings like only a Rhodes girl can.

But we pan down and find so, so much busyness below the waist.

Thank you for the test pattern opportunity, Gossip Girl. It appears that my TV is working correctly.

Going back to outerwear (because I apparently can't help myself) let's take a sec to drink in the gorgeous colors and textures of S's leather trench and scarf. So autumnal! Yet practical! Is this really our "impervious to cold" Serena who eschews the thermometer in favor of bleeding-edge trends?

I'll even let the test pattern tights slide when paired with this trench. Such is the power of a good coat, my friends.

BUT! Even that was not her finest moment. At the end of the episode, she sashays out of New York sporting shades of Lily with a neat bun and a to DIE for mulberry coat. She hasn't killed outwear like this since she was actually impersonating Lily in "The Kids Are Not Alright". Outfit of the week right here, folks.

Let's not forget the heavy earrings, plus legs for days:

I'm beginning to understand why Dan can't let go. I'd stalk Serena just for those shoes.

Gossip Girl: It's Really Complicated

Part 2 of 2 - The Successes

As for those steadily improving Gossip Girl characters, the list isn't really a surprising one. By the end of six seasons, you know who can dress and who only gets lucky once in awhile.

Blair finally begins to grow up (sartorially...not emotionally) and, for the first episode in a long time, appears in pants. Specifically, a gorgeous gray tweed pantsuit.



The black detailing at the waist reminds us just how tiny she is, and the burst of blues and purples courtesy of the Gucci blouse is so flattering. Our Thanksgiving wish for her is better hair. What happened? The ghosts of Thanksgivings past tell us it once had volume and lustre. 

I think even Blair knows it to be true. I can only assume that's why the sour face. Or maybe it's because her emotionally distant and drunk true love is being, well, emotionally distant and drunk. 

Despite the hair, it's nice to see a grown-up side of Blair. And since she's still Blair, she finds the perfect accessory in a iridescent flower pin on her lapel.

Unfortunately, all is not so golden.

First, she insists on slipping on this wallpaper-print coat in clashing whites and golds.



This actually looks like a housecoat my grandmother owned in the sixties. She's really dropped the ball on outerwear. It used to be one of her talents. The kind of talent you could take to the bank and add to your LinkedIn profile. Not so much anymore. 

Second, she pulls out one of the most offensive and just plain bizarre outfits she's ever worn on GG. And I mean ever. 



Whaaaat? Yeah, I don't get it either. I guess she was trying to forcibly jerk (shock?) Chuck out of his Bart-induced scotch haze? The thing is, it's not like Blair doesn't know how to lure Chuck to bed. This was not only unnecessary, it was tacky. And potentially using jewelry Vanessa left behind before she went whrever it is she was exiled. 

But if you think the top is a bit much, take a gander at the full ensemble (yes, there's more). 



Oh yeah. Definitely tacky. Wacky, like Blair, but also missing that important factor of class that we've always associated with her.

Dorota doesn't know what to make of all this.



Us either, Dorota.  But I'm glad to see you broke out your Thanksgiving themed uniform.

Sage may be a newbie to our little show, but she's got sophistication in spades, at least for a national holiday.



Let's get to know her a little better. When not debuting, scheming, stripping at fashion shows, dating older men and airing sex tapes at society functions, Sage loves walking the streets of Manhattan in awesome khaki trenches with embroidery details.



Plus, like any self respecting young woman with more money than she knows what to do with, she's busy perfecting the Van der Woodsen talent of Wearing Very Heavy Earrings. This Sage, she's a force to be reckoned with.



Underneath the coat, she's not quite as classy, but still, her evergreen bandage dress is flattering enough, and she managed not to overdo the costume jewerly.

Serena's ex-almost-fiancé Steve is more pathetic than anything else, but he's included here because we feel sorry for him.



One of many (many) to have loved and lost Serena, he seems to be lost and confused. Possibly because he also thought food came from a catering truck. It also seems like he's so confused that he's taken to dressing poorly. The shirt looks bunchy under his coat, like it might not even fit him all that well (in his grief has he lost weight? Because he should know enough to get a fitted shirt) and the camel coat is just plain lazy. Maybe Serena's love is poisonous to the opposite sex -- after all, Dan doesn't seem to faired all that well either. They do say the female of the species is more deadly than the male. 

Feeling sorry for himself and generally giving up on life, Chuck is really suffering after losing the evidence to lock his father up once and for all.



Been there, done that. Amirite? I mean, if I had a nickel for every time my step mom tossed the damning microfiche in the fire.... It's no wonder he wishes all the glasses in his penthouse were bottomless. And they possibly are. 

He looks marginally better upright (but still with trusty glass in hand). Since this is Chuck, his pajamas are a sumptuous black satin with a subtle maroon trim. Very nice. The man does know how to feel sorry for himself with a touch of class.

Of course, we know how well Chuck cleans up. He's the one character you can count on fairly consistently to look great and event-appropriate, even if he is completely in the bag after two bottles of scotch. Plus, he really knows how to dress for fall.



The brown three-piece suit is gorgeous, and his red bowtie the perfect accompaniment (unless, maybe, we're counting Blair).  Even his hair has finally grown out from his unfortunate incident with the clippers.

Despite being all kinds of underhanded, it's kind of hard to stick Bart Bass in with the losing side.  He's such a perennial winner.



His clothes aren't all that interesting, but for the look he's going for--cold, hard-hearted businessman--he dresses flawlessly. He's even wearing a palette of icy blue and gray, his exterior emphasizing the barren wasteland within. Everything about him exudes power and ice and general hatred for his spawn. 

She might not have made it to the beach as planned, but Lily Rhodes van der Woodsen Mueller Bass Humphrey Bass is usually another high point during the holiday season on Gossip Girl, and this year is no exception.



Not the most fantastic dress she's ever worn, but it fits beautifully and the weft of the fabric adds a little visual interest. Love her gold knot earrings. Small by usual Rhodes girl standards, they're a nice touch. 

Definitely a lot more going on with the outfit Lily slips into for dinner.  



There's a lot of sequins on this dress, maybe even more than Serena would dare to wear. Totally what you wear for a meal at home with the kids and not at all at odds with Dan's v-neck and chest hair running wild and free. With the heavy sequins adding a bit of bulk, Lily does need the waist definition that the bow sash gives her, but it's a little incongruous with the top and bottom. We'll give this an A for effort, but not much more. However, the patented giant Lily earrings? How many of us would love access to Lily's spectacular earring collection? Her jewelry box must be the most magical place on earth. 

Gossip Girl: Save The Last Chance

Part 2 of 2: Really?!

Evidentially, Bart hid damning evidence about illegal oil deals in the back of Lily's Richard Phillips painting Spectrum.  Bart went all "Library of Congress" on us and stored his scans on microfilm instead of a digital option. The world changed while Bart was pretending to be dead and it doesn't look like he caught up. I bet he still has a first generation iPod. (By the by, how do you mastermind your fake death, but can't hide some frigging microfilm? Really, Bart? Really?)

Anyway. Ivy Dickens! I curse the day you entered the UES! All of your schemes and odd plots twists have exhausted me. I just want to lie down in this nice cozy bed (adorned with graphic black and white needlepoint Jonathan Adler pillows) and avoid processing all of this ridiculousness. 

For weeks we have known that Ivy was in cahoots with someone. It appears that someone is William Van der Woodsen, with whom Ivy is having a secret love affair. These two are trying to take down Lily at the request of their silent partner Lola. I'm just going on record as saying that I think this is completely, officially wackadoo. William can't really love Ivy and be trying to publicly humiliate the mother of his children… right? And how could Ivy be sick of eating waffles every day? It just doesn't add up. 

Although she is grating on my nerves, I do like Ivy's jacket. The shawl collar is on trend and the warm grey color works with her skin tone. The rest of this scene leaves me cold (as does the slight hint of a pinky ring on William's left hand). 

While Ivy is trying to persuade Bart and Chuck to turn on Lily, sensible (and potentially drunk) Lily decides to go another route. She heads over to see Rufus and convince him to give her the microfilm. Their conversation is about as boring as their ensembles. This is one big blah blob of brown and beige. It's sad when the cheeriest thing in the photo is a paper coffee cup. 

The scene reminds me of this past episode- in which Team Beige goes to Cafe Boulud. 

Being cunning is good for Ivy's hair. Her tresses look quite shiny and smooth this week! I also approve of the patterned Torn by Ronny Kobo top. 

Chuck decided to make a faux deal with Ivy. He plans to trick her into giving him the microfilm and using it to hurt Bart. I'm more intrigued by his impressive posture and dapper attire than his machinations against his father. 

While Chuck is focusing on taking down Bart, Bart is working on destroying Nate. In an out of the blue plot twist, we learned that Nate has been cooking The Spectator's books and is under water on his loan. I'm no accountant, but that doesn't sound good. It turns out that Bart backed Nate's loan and wants to use Nate to hurt Chuck. What the Bass family lacks in familial loyalty, they make up for in ability to blackmail. 

I'd comment on their attire, but neither of these gentlemen are wearing anything too exciting. 

Unlike the blackmail plot that has yet to reveal itsefl fully, their boring outfits surprise no one.

Although his world is falling apart, Chuck made a quick appearance at Blair's fashion debut. While he always looks perfectly put together, I think we can see his stress. He is in so much anguish that he has forgotten his signature pop of color. 

Get this man to the men's furnishings and tie department at Barney's! I think a purple pocket square and a shot of whiskey are in order. 

Eventually both Bart and Chuck end up in a room with Ivy who ends up in a polka dot bra (really? Nothing sexier for photos to convince Lily her back from the dead husband is cheating on her?). All three of them fail in their scheming. The real winner is Lily, who gets the microfilm from Rufus and then burns it.

Poor Chuck! He was unsuccessful in his quest to ruin his dad. Poor Nate! He is wearing a hideous shirt and tie combination and is being blackmailed. 

While this entire story line leaves me dazed and confused, my real upset is over Chuck and Blair. I just don't understand why they can't be together. Really GG writers?! You would do that to us? 

Sigh. With only a few episodes left, they better get this figured out. Although with so many new twists to work through, we don't expect a resolution until the last minute.