Back from honeymoon without Bart Basstard, Lily seems content to be elegant and lonesome in this wonderful negligee/peignoir set in smoky blue with black lace accents. Even her two-tone reading glasses match, though only a lady as classy as Lily could pull off diamonds at breakfast.
Is that a glow or what?
Her signature chignon in place, Lily decides to pursue her former Humphrey flame in this flowing summery top and long blue and gold necklace. The blue is a bit vibrant next to the muted shades of the top and I wouldn’t have gone as far as matching earrings, but Lily pulls it off.
Let’s face it, Kelly Rutherford could pull off a burlap sack.
Rufus has clearly dressed up for the occasion – first Nate wearing a colour other than blue, and now Papa Humphrey out of his beloved plaid! This faded denim shirt is nothing special, but it’s a big step in the right direction as far as Rufus’ sartorial taste goes.
He amazes me even further by wearing an olive coloured military jacket with some cool epaulettes later on in the show. What has come over you, Rufus, and how long can it last?
Even Lily’s surprised!
She’s reverted to Stepford wife form with this black top, combining all the things I love: frills, block colour and a pattern overlay. Back are the classic diamond studs, but there’s a little boho twist courtesy of that hexagonal bangle.
The UES's other sugar mama turns up at the gallery to harass Vanessa and instead ends up turning on half the audience in this stunning green bandage dress. Sure, her hair’s a little over-styled, but if I were Madchen Amick, I would wear this dress everyday for the rest of my life! Shock and awe out of the way, Catherine adds a square green bangle and glossy brown clutch.
Vanessa knows that Lady C has been doing the nasty with her stepson Lord Marcus (ewww!) who will unfailingly wear blue, beige or grey. And...grey and blue, what are the odds? A light check on that shirt isn’t enough to save you from obscurity, Your Lordliness.
Surprisingly enough, Vanessa holds her own this episode. Her graduated gold necklace actually toes the line between pretty and gauche and, while she can’t deny her need for a chunky gold bangle and hoop earrings, they’re ten times more subtle than her usual bag lady look. That purple top does wonderful things for her skin tone, and I actually like its draped neckline and bizarre woven shoulderpads.
...and then all my approval evaporates.
V over-tousles her mane, adds heavy hoop earrings and a thick gold gangster chain (invalidating the appeal of that other interesting looking silver necklace) and – horror of horrors – tries to liven up a sludgy, splashy grey/purple vest top by flashing her sky blue bra straps. Her handbag even matches the aforementioned revolting vest.
Having screwed over everyone, Vanessa takes a leaf from Blair’s book and goes completely to seed. She turns bright orange, overloads on the purple and bright blue eye shadow and attaches dream catchers to her earlobes in the hope of better luck next time.
In the remains of this Brooklyn tragedy, little Jenny Humphrey is a breath of fresh air.
Those suspender things she wears attached to her plaid skirt always fit awkwardly, but Jenny counters this with a frilly placket running down the front of her tee. Her makeup is barely there, and little touches of rebellion come from her cyanotic nails and orange bangle.
Let this be a lesson to us all: have a light hand with the foundation brush, don’t try to bargain with the British (you remember the last time you Yanks tried that with my people?) and do NOT involve Vanessa in your love life – or you’re likely to end up Nairtini’ed, heartbroken or, in Nate’s case, out of work.
This is the last we see of the Brits, however, so bye bye Catherine and Marcus. Considering the state of the Royal Family, let’s hope England looks upon your incest kindly.