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Entries in 05x23 (3)

Thursday
May102012

The Fugitives - Part 1 of 2 - How to save a Bart

Things this episode was big on? Hair (Dan), schemes, misunderstandings and soapiness. All the things we love about GG (well, minus Dan's hair). Totally Not Dead Bart was hit by a car, but he was in hiding from an evil blackmailer. Even though his TOTALLY NOT DEAD father was a total d-bag his entire life, Chuck is determined to save his life (anyone else looking forward to the reunion with Lily?) and recruits Blair to help. Blair's solution? Entrap the evil blackmailer with Lola and Chivy pretending to be twin prostitutes. Meanwhile, Nate almost blows the whole scheme because his knickers are in a twist about Diana/India and her lies. He really needs to learn to trust Chuck and his plans. Dan wants Blair to go to Rome with him, but still has some serious trust issues to work through. And Serena, bless her heart, is Blair's best friend and worst enemy: she helps secure Dan's spot in Rome by pretending to be B, but is going to cause some heartbreak because she's leaked B's diary to GG.

 

In an ominous looking country manor, all is revealed to us about the mysterious not actually a death of Bart Bass.

 

If you were going to have a prostitute party and then reveal Secrets to you son, this really is the place to do it. A hotel room wouldn't do at all. Mostly because not enough hotels, especially not the ones you own, have majestic looking wood pannelling and a good tea service.

Of course, for the revealing of Secrets, it's best to dress in smart, somber business attire - like Bart's conservative grey suit. Nothing too flashy for the first time you chill out with you son since you totally didn't die (I know. This newly alive Bart is still a miracle to me).

 

When learning the goods on how your dad faked his death, It's best to go with a pinstriped three piece suit. Don't get too flashy with your colours either.

 

You know, stick to your signature purple for shirt, tie and pocket square. Let the patterns do the talking for you.

Mostly because you'll probably spend most of your day dumbfounded that your dad is totally not dead.

 

For the fellows who are double crossing you/just messing things up because that's what they do best, colour coordinating your shirt and tie is the way to roll. However, here's some how-tos:

Don't make like the PI and match your tie to your shirt. At least not that close in colour.

 

Instead, make like Nate and get into the some colour family, but without geting all matchy.

Nate may have smoked too much for his developing mind, but he does eventually get what's going to happen and works with the plot.

 

For those ladies in the know, saving Bart isn't about being conservative: it's about colour and lots of it.

The bright green sheath is fantastic on our Bart-saving Madame. And the detailing is a nice touch. A bit of a departure from her usual just skin tight dress.

 

A yellow coat is also the way to go, especially when you pair it with a bright, autumnal print dress and some giant pearls. It says, "I'm schemey AND fun!". It'll look trop classy as you show some girls how to entrap a man with nothing but your feminine wiles.

   

 

Well, that and some slinky negligees.

And a pair of handcuffs.

Oh that B Waldorf! She really is all class.

 

For the ladies who play the part of prostitutes in schemes? Well, that calls for a completely different kind of outfit.

Not the best ever, but I do love those boots. For a poor girl from Florida, Lola must be learning to work with her newly acquired trust fund. Now if only she'd use it to buy more than jeans and a dozen or so new jackets and coats like her half-sister Serena. 

 

The pinch hitter for the role of fake twin doesn't much look like Lola, but she's looking pretty good with the white leather and sparkles. Looking like a million bucks that you don't have any more.

 

When trying to convince a man he's with twins and you don't really look like your fake twin at all, it's important to dress the same. That's how he knows you're twins.

And if you wear the same dress in different colours? Well, he'll think you really are identical and that he needs different dresses to tell you apart. Genius plan! What could possibly go wrong? Other than almost everything since the PI is a double agent.

 

Interestingly enough, for an episode where no one bothered to do much in the way of outfit changes, I really have to hand it to Chuck and Totally Not Dead Bart: they swapped up their suits just in time for eposing the PI to the police (who happen to be hiding in the next room).

For Bart, the outfit change must be the sensible suit. Nothing too flashy. Probably because he still has to hide from the evil blackmailer.

 

For Chuck, a job well done means a brighter shade of pocket square.

I love his constant use of the pocket square. I hope it's making the whole pocket square a think among young men these days. His dad must be so proud of his sense of style as well as his ability to jail break him from a restaurant. Proud enough to go for the super awkward hug.

 

But through it all, I must say I do miss Young, Flamboyant Chuck.

His patterns always put folks to shame. As did his wild antics. I know Totally Not Dead Bart frowned upon Li'l Chuck's antics, but Chuck was so much more fun back then.

Thursday
May102012

The Fugitives - Part 2 of 2 - When in Rome

Lately, things have been all about fabulous robes  (or hideous, depending on your taste) and doing a parent trap style switcheroo. Like Blair channeling Diana or the “twins” ChIvy and Lola.

But let’s start with the robes. Particularly Blair’s. Because she kind of tried this week.

It’s not amazeballs or anything, but it was a clear step in the right direction from what she’s been wearing lately. Maybe she brings the good robe to Brooklyn to make sure they know who’s the fairest of the Burroughs. It’s too bad she didn’t bring a better robe for Dan.

Surprise! Dan is wearing grey! Now, I think it's time we address something: Dan's ever growing head of hair. While I've explained it away to others as "because he's a writer", I think that excuse is wearing thin. And while, for the record, I'm okay with Dan/Blair romance (I know. I'm in the minority), my biggest beef with it is this: there's no way she'd let that hair go on for this long. Not for reals. Especially not with the gel he's been using lately.

The gelled hair? The purple plaid wool? Please. Although, I will say this: Dan without gel harkens back to a time when I did actually like Dan with that much hair.

But that is hair for a teenage boy. Not the boyfriend of Blair Waldorf. Longish is okay, but Dan? This is getting out of control. Especially if you're planning on keeping this girl around.

When Blair looks tidy, tailored, well accessorized and not with limp flat hair, I like her best. That is a fantastic look for Blair. Scheming and planning elaborate desserts really do wonders for her.

Even if those ornate dessert spreads baffle the questionable plot element of Roman writing school alumnus.

But random Rome guy was necessary to bring us this:

Whaaaaaaa? Still no comb, but Serena looking lovely? How is this possible? Well friends, it's possible because she's in costume. What Serena wears when Blair isn't picking her outfit? It's this.

I don't even understand what's happening there. I appreciate her attempts to cover the macaron and wear semi-sensible shoes, but it's like she escaped from a stylish production of Annie. I mean look at these girls:

Now look at Serena:

Seriously. It's leftovers from Miss Hannigan's goodwill donations.

But Serena as Blair? Love it. Love it a lot.

The coat has colour! It pops! Even the headband is super adorbs and full of colour. Much better than the drab outerwear that went with her drab orphan clothes.

The scarf has a nice pop of colour, but girlfriend needs to lay off the beige. Go for something more like this:

And really Dan, you too. Lay off the neutrals and take a page from the Style Bible of Blair W. Colour is your friend. Just look at your ex-girlfriend who shares your fondness for bad hair!

That sheath dress is all kinds of fantastic. The goods are covered, yet it's flattering. The accessories are just right. Golf claps S, golf claps. Although, I'd probably make the same face Eleanor made when she saw you.

I mean, she's comes back from Paris expecting you to flaunt what you've got and instead finds you dressed tastefully? Weird. Although, I'd make the face right back at her, because I'm not sure why Eleanor is wearing the giant wool sack of a cape. Did Paris suddenly turn one of our former regular characters into a person who knows how to dress for chilly weather? Bizarre.

But for all your tasteful dressing S and saving B's plans to head to Rome with her fella, you've dug yourself in deep with your latest shining example of how you're actually kind of a sucky friend.

S, it's what you do, not what you say. Because you can say, "I love you B" until the cows come home

Tuesday
May082012

Mini-Recap: The Fugitives

Chuck's hopes of being reunited with his long lost and TOTALLY NOT DEAD father are about to be dashed because Bart has been playing dead to save Chuck and Lily from some evil blackmailer (Revenge (!!!) - you are on notice: GG wants to be the soapiest show around). Lola and Nate go all Scooby gang in their attempt to bring down Diana/India and mess up Chuck's permanent reunion with his dad. ChIvy and Lola play twin prostitutes in the schemes to out the evil blackmailer who wants Bart dead (seeing as he is TOTALLY ALIVE), but it turns out the PI Chuck hired is a double agent for said blackmailer. Diana has gone back to London and Nate seems to have a soft spot for this Madame and will keep her name out of the New York Times. Blair is making plans to go to Rome with Dan to keep him from being jealous of Chuck and to help him further his career. And Gossip Girl posting the page of B's diary? Well, that just shows GG is a bitch and S is the root of almsot every problem, whether she means to be or not. And through it all, Dan's hair seems to be getting bigger.

 

Party du Jour
Unless you count the menage-a-twins or Blair's elaborate dessert spread, this may be one of the few party-free episodes to happen on GG.

Best Quote
"You think this is the first time I've entrapped someone with prostitutes?" - B 

Best Outfit
Blair's hair and make-up were channeling Lily van der Humphrey and she looked lovely in her autumnal print dress. Neat, tidy and well accessorized B is the one we love best.

Worst Outfit
There's no way we believe that Blair likes Serena's hot mess of a beige sweater full of holes on the arms, black tights and sensible looking shoes.

 

I'll be back on Thursday with a full recap!