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Entries in 05x22 (3)


Raiders of the Lost Art - Part 1 of 2 - Les Femmes

Chuck and Nate recruit a bored Blair into their Diana takedown and exposé of Who Chuck's Real Father Is.  As always on Gossip Girl, the answer is less of a surprise than startled wonderment at the gaping black hole that has suddenly ripped the plot wide open.  Serena, très sad that Dan has picked Blair, is losing herself in the role of a lifetime:  Gossip Girl.  Lola, determined to prove she's the only Van der Woodsen who plays at being other people, works with Nate to force Serena to give up the Gossip Girl ghost.  Meanwhile, Rufus (as usual) gives terrible advice to his son, who misuses it and turns into a crazyperson who gives up an opportunity to write for the summer in Rome to stay at home in New York to stalk Blair and her friends (okay, mostly just Chuck).


I've got to give the edge this episode to the females.  It's not every day that one character is able to lose themselves so completely in a sartorial role.  And no, I'm not talking Serena as Gossip Girl but rather, Blair as Diana Payne.  Scarily eerie and nearly meta.  Blair, too, has noticed our Brit's appreciation for tighter-than-necessary garments.

But first, let's start with another of Blair's silken robes.

Lesley-Anne nailed it in her mini-recap when she said that this is some of the worst color-blocking.  I'll add that the strange ombre effect doesn't help its cause at all.  Really, Blair, we know you are better than this.


Love this coat.  The woven blue fabric has awesome visual texture and the blue suits her so well.


Of course, it doesn't suit her quite as well as this blue, but then what would?


Brava, Miss Blair.  You just swiped the crown of Tightest Dress Worn on GG Ever.  Diana is no doubt seething over this travesty.  Seriously, though, she looks awesome.  If dressing like someone else is what it takes to get Blair back to her bombshell outfits, then I'll happily take one masquerade after another.


Love the idea of the bag, not so much the color.  Puke green is not your friend, Blair.


But this gorgeous khaki trench is so sumptuous and lovely on her, I'll forgive the unfortunate bag.


As for Blair's doppelganger this episode, Diana is still strapping herself into the same old frocks.

I guess if I looked this good at Elizabeth Hurley's age, I'd want to flaunt it too.


Her magenta assymetrical sheath was a slight improvement, but maybe that was only because she was dressing as her real self, India-the-sex-ring-operator.


Last week, I anointed Lola the new Vanessa-in-training.  She slightly redeemed herself this episode.

This is actually a rather sweet, flattering combination on her.  The pink suits her peaches and cream complexion and the textured white tank worn underneath adds interest.  Plus, her hair and earrings are gorgeous, highlighting her amazing cheekbones.


I don't like this coat quite as much, but that is a pretty great scarf she pairs with it.

At India/Diana's mysterious sex party, Lola evolves into one of the waitresses, donning a sexy black dress.

It's very simple, but maybe Lola has finally figured out that the sleeker styles are better suited to her.  Plus, she is rocking that black like nobody's business.


Serena, her half-sister (does anybody else find it immensely amusing how many times Lola and Serena correct those around them who mistakenly identify them as sisters), tries really hard this episode.

Oh, who am I kidding.  She tries this hard every episode.

Blair, you need to borrow this lovely watercolor floral nightwear from your best friend.  It makes Serena look good, which means that it'll look awesome on you.


This dress is . . .problematic.

Serena can't really pull off an innocent, ruffled dresses.  It just doesn't work.  Plus, this looks like it's about a size too small for her frame.

Okay, more like two sizes.  Seriously, black tights or no, that is just way too short for tromping around the city, pretending to be Gossip Girl.  Love your coat though!

Oh, and your scarf too.  That pattern is killer.

Unfortunately, Serena hasn't learned Lola's lesson, and clutters up her black dress with an ugly necklace.

The better to draw attention to her cleavage, of course.  Nevermind that this is a sex-party and the men there aren't exactly going to miss it.

Alessandra, Dan's editor, injects a little realism into Gossip Girl daily life.

It's almost apporpriate for real office wear.  Of course, those sleeves would drive anybody crazy by the end of the day, but cute slacks, and her hair is lovely. She clearly comes from another, non-UES world.


Raiders of the Lost Art - Part 2 of 2 - Les Hommes

Chuck has a whole handful of issues--trust issues, mommy issues, daddy issues, Blair issues. . .

. . .but at least we can consistently count on him for not having any sartorial issues.

What a gorgeous paisley robe.  Blair, I hope you are taking notes.

And of course, when you show up to ask a lady a favor, you always look your best.  

Like this wonderful gray overcoat.


Or this gorgeous navy pinstriped three-piece suit. 

The pop of color in his lavender pocketsquare and the periwinkle tie is just perfect.  Nobody wears a suit like Chuck Bass does.

Can you really blame Dan for not trying, then?


At least he's wearing a color that isn't blue or gray.  Still sporting that ridiculous hair-mop though.

Minus 50 points for not tucking said shirt in.  Seriously Dan, you are not in high school anymore.

Unbelievably, Nate might be able to give his buddy Dan some pointers.

The slim-cut suit was really designed for a build like Nate's.  Chuck couldn't wear these because he's a bit stockier, but they are sex-on-a-stick for Nate.  Can you really fault Lola for turning her back on a lifetime of UES-hatred for a chance to get into those snug pants?  I don't think so.

I see, though, that Nate has returned to his favorite place -- Island Blue.  That's okay, I'm prepared to be rather indulgent because of how good he looks.

Uncle (Dad?) Jack would feel right at home on the Hairspray set.  He's sporting a serious control freak hairdo.

As if he didn't already look slimy enough.

That is one thing that Bart and Chuck always had in common:  they could wear the hell out of a suit.  Jack just looks sloppy and careless, as if it doesn't matter what's on his body.


As for Mr. Bass himself, he looks fairly good considering that he's spent the last few years in a coffin.

OH WAIT. . .

Still dapper as ever.  Love the blues and grays in his tie, and how his suit picks up the miniscule pinstripes in his shirt.  For sheer genius at complementary matching, Bart needs to be Chuck's dad, dead or alive.


Mini-Recap: Raiders of the Lost Art

Nate finally believes Lola that Serena is Gossip Girl. Serena is getting a little too attached to the keyboard and trying to play both sides - her friends and Diana - as she searches for gossip tips and the identity of Gossip Girl. And what will she do now that she's locked out of the site by Manhattan's one and only source for gossip? Dan has writers block, which could be solved by a trip to the Institute of Arts and Letters in Rome, but he doesn't trust Blair enough to leave for the summer. Meanwhile Blair is searching for OGB (Original Gangsta Blair...I wonder if she's as fun as Drunk!Blair?) which calls for some scheming as she joins Chuck, Nate and Lola on the hunt for the truth about Chuck's parentage. They should have called her earlier. B has her own cipher for heaven's sake - she's born to scheme her way to the heart of any mystery. At the heart of this particular mystery is CHUCK'S LONG DEAD FATHER BART BASS WHO IS NOT ACTUALLY DEAD. What??!!?? I know. Now he has two dead parents who aren't actually dead. No wonder he's got some abandonment issues.

 Party du Jour
A top secret sexy party full of businessmen leering at ladies in lingerie. It took a cipher, five people and one Dorota to figure it out.  Oh, and it's a party for NOT DEAD BART BASS. (He and Chuck both shared a fondness for secret sexy parties prior to his "death").

Best Quote
"...which is 555 and we all know from movies, that's fake."- Nate

"And you run a newspaper?" - B

Best Outfit
Blair channelling Diana or Diana being some secret madame named India? It's hard to decide who wore the sexy sheath dress better. I'll give it to B as the blue was a great colour on her.

Worst Outfit
Can we talk Worst Hair? Because Blair's is looking flat. She also gets worst outfit for her choice in robes. That colour blocking number may be the worst we've seen in a run of bad silk robes.


Bethany returns with another full recap for you on Thursday.