It Girl, Interrupted - Part 1 of 2 - From Brooklyn, With Love

Serena's spent her first week as Gossip Girl hitting the delete key in an attempt to bury the dirt about herself, but an impatient GG warns Serena she's about to lose her privileges. So, S sets up Lola as the next UES It-Girl to deflect attention off herself. Lola fits perfectly into Serena's trap as she gets jealous over the newly-back Diana and agrees to model at a lingerie fashion show. Meanwhile, Nate is having his own power struggles with Diana over the Spectactor, and Chuck is torn between looking for Elizabeth and letting her go. Blair's so sad about not being a princess anymore that she snaps Chuck's head off and tells him that they can't be friends. Of course, that's when Dan drops the bomb that Chuck paid for her dowry. After much soul-searching, Blair thanks Chuck, and leaves him to play out her fantasies one last time as a Princess on the Met Steps. On the Ivy vs Lily front, Lily lures Ivy out of the apartment with a fake cashier's check, and then steels the much-desired pad out from under her. Rufus is appalled that Lily's acted like Lily, and refuses to return to the UES with her. Haven't we been through this before?

Blair, recipient of her freshly printed divorce papers, celebrates with Dorota in this puke-green coloured robe.



It doesn't matter if its printed with roses if they look like died and putrified on the fabric.

The costume department's been dressing Blair about twenty years too old all season, and at first glance, this pink and purple printed dress is a wonderful change to a younger, lighter Blair.



Of course, she's still set on making herself look matronly with the hair and the makeup.

But really, this is a really cute, summery look.  I love the patterned flowers and the full skirt.



Even that pink trench is adorable.

Blair should really stick to color.  Black dresses shaped like sacks are not her friend.



It doesn't matter if they're sequined.  They still look terrible.

Even worse is her pathetic hair.  I find it hard to believe that Dorota would ever let Blair out of the penthouse sporting this sad braided updo.

That's the kind of sad, messy braid Serena would try to pull off at a formal event, not Queen B.

As for Princess Blair Waldorf Grimaldi's finale, she wears an appropriately ruffled pink dress.



I'm not sure I understand the coat on top of it.  After all, Serena goes waltzing around Manhattan in barely-there skirts and nearly-invisible blouses and the cold never seems to get to her.  Maybe this is confirmation of her Upper East Side android status.

All snarking about her cupcake dress aside, Blair really does look beautiful here.




Cubic zirconia and all, she's a total princess.

As for her Lonely Boy, I keep hoping that his change of mates will mean a change of style.



Apparently not.

Confession:  Dan's hair is reaching terrifying levels.  When it has reached the point of falling in locks over his forehead unless its slicked greasily back, that means it needs to be cut.  End of story.



Ah, plaid.  The Humphrey standard.  If Blair lets Dan have his way, she'll end up with 800 count Egyptian cotton plaid sheets on their bed and a plaid gown for events.

The very least Blair can do, if she is going to take a side trip to Brooklyn, is make sure Dan's suits are adequately fitted.  This is just hanging on him, and sacre bleu, his shirt is not even tucked in.  He's Nate circa St. Jude's!



Now is it really fair to compare Dan to the other side of this isosceles triangle?

Probably not.  Chuck has a lot of money to spend on looking his best.

That fact alone begs the question . . .why would he wear this?



Good god.  He looks like a cross between the Gerber baby and a lobster.

Is it any improved from a back viewing?

Emphatically no.

I think I might need lasik after this episode.

Luckily, Chuck remembers he's a businessman, not a punchline, and changes into one of his dapper suits.



That muted purple paisley tie is so sumptuous looking, with the faint sheen.  And it's perfectly matched (of course) to Chuck's gray pin-striped suit.



Chuck stays true to his favorite shade for the lingerie party, feeling right at home in a lilac-striped shirt with a complementing purple tie.  It's not terribly imaginative, but it sure is effective.

As for Lily and Rufus, rusticating in Brooklyn, their current location clearly favors one over the other.

I'll give you two guesses who and one doesn't count.



I supposed if you're going to wear a medallion the size of a breast plate, you'd best pair it with a solid neutral blouse.  Unfortunately Lily also goes for one with beading on the bottom.

She's clearly starving for Upper East Side luxury and this is her cry for help. Rufus!  Help put an end to her suffering!



Unfortunately Rufus doesn't see that anything's wrong.  In fact, he's dug out some of the clothes Lily wouldn't let him bring to her luxurious penthouse apartment.  He's happy as a clam in one of his ugly plaid shirts that just came out of a dusty cardboard box.

Is it any surprise, then, that Lily returns to her fabulous apartment? Or that she would look glamorous doing so?



Love your bag, darling!  And that winter white sweater is flawless with your skin.

Rufus, on the other hand, has never seemed more stuck in Brooklyn.

There'd be at least one tear shed in sympathy, except for that godawful suitcase/backpack that should never again see the light of day.

It Girl, Interrupted - Part 2 of 2 - The Golden Girls

Serena's says she's ready to relinquish her It Girl status once and for all, yet she's still accepting invites to model lingerie that's named after her.  What did you expect?  That she was going to develop a classy gene all of a sudden? Or some common sense?



Please, this is the girl that wears a see-through beaded lamp cover with a leopard print top.  Serena van der Woodson doesn't know what the word shame means.



However, those are some mighty killer embroidered booties.

Naturally, when headlining a party titled "Down to Your Skivvies" Serena thinks everyone should get a free look at the merchandise. It's a side-effet from all those years as the It Girl around town.



I can't fault her though, that black dress is amazing on her and I love the patterned tights.  I remember fondly the days of old when Blair used to wear youthful, fun stockings.  Now apparently along with all the good hair and makeup, Serena's stolen those too.

And those art deco earrings?  To die for!



Naturally, when she looks beautiful and classy, Serena always has to self-combust somewhere, and this time, it's the back of the dress.



Or rather, where the back of the dress should have been.

As for this fabulous "Serena" lingerie that Kiki de Montparnasse is showing, it's honestly not all that impressive.  Serena shows more skin at a normal cocktail party than in this getup.



The robe is actually kind of sad.  They think she needs to cover up!

Actually, it's not clear what the big deal is about this whole outfit.  It just looks like a simple black slip with a corset top.  Not all that exciting or anything to get excited about.



Clearly, Serena knows it too, so she made her hair extra exciting. Of course, exciting doesn't mean combing.

The morning after any scheme gone wrong, it's imperative to load on as many matching pieces as possible.



Obviously Serena didn't get that memo.

Her striped top is cute enough, and I do like the pop of red in her earrings, but the plaid skirt is a bit of a mess and the tights are all wrong.



Don't even start with those yucky green booties.  She should go green and recycle the kick ass booties from day before.

Lola and Nate are struggling with their relationship and Lola's desire to stay out of Upper East Side social circles.

I think the problem is more that Lola has no idea how to dress in UES social circles.



The red coat is actually really nice on her, and I don't even mind the chunky gray scarf but that ugly brown leather bag needs to go, as do her gray booties.

After her coat comes off, there's not much to celebrate. 



That sweater is a crime against humanity and I'm trying to pretend that she didn't grab that peasant blouse off one of Vanessa's old costume racks.

At the party though, she either steals Nate's credit card or Serena manages to rub off some of her It Girlness.



Admittedly, the makeup is rather terrifying, but the dress is the beginning of a good idea.  I still would have liked to see color here, the nude fabric is just a tad plain and the fit isn't what it could be.

And really, when you are competing with a woman who likes to wear her fabric as a second skin, you can use all the help you can get.



I think Diana's personally invested in enough Spanx to buy the owner her own private island. That blue is a nice color on her, though.

Diana took the lingerie theme a bit too literally here.

But then is anybody surprised?  She is one of the few characters on the show that can truly pull off a black dress, though.

Unfortunately, she gets into neutrals in a shift dress that literally looks as if it might be molded to her.

If you can't see your body underneath because there's so much lifting and harnassing going on, that might be your first sign of trouble.

It's nice to see Nate starting to take his job, and his wardrobe so seriously.  Clearly Chuck has had some influence here.  Maybe he just threw away everything that was hideous, forcing him to start over entirely.

Nate, like any normal guy, has pretty basic workout clothes.  Note to Chuck - wear something like this next time.

Unlike any normal guy, he has a pretty swank business wardrobe.

Just the addition of the checkerboard shirt elevates this ensemble to something instantly fabulous.  Suddenly, we're taking Nate seriously in a way we didn't before.  Oh, and his businessman's haircut is absolutely adorable.



Just becuase this isn't blue, I'm giving it a massive two thumbs up.  Seeing Nate discover the color wheel is akin to what it must have been like to see the actual wheel be discovered - a total revelation.

This gray suit is so amazing on Nate that I was temporarily rendered speechless. 



With the light blue shirt and complementary tie?  He really looks the part of the successful media magnate.  Hmmmm, I wonder who helped him with that?

The co-conspirator in Nate's plan to bring down Diana is Aidan, a boy even more minor than Nate, and Lola's friend from drama camp.



I'm sorry, does he actually look sixteen to anyone?

No?  I didn't think so.  Cute peacoat though.

This cardigan and tie combo however is straight out of the Dan Humphrey playbook.

If Aidan wasn't a random character designed to make Nate film child pornography, then I might actually enjoy seeing him stick around and eventually figure out how to date UES royalty.  C'est la vie, I suppose.

Mini-Recap: It Girl, Interrupted

Diana has returned to the Spectator and Lola and Nate use a conspicuously public argument to try to trap Diana. It doesn't really work and Serena gets her expensive knickers in a twist because Lola used her in the plot (even though she was trying to use Lola). Blair is dragging her heels on her divorce paper because she still longs to be a princess. Dan thinks it has something to do with Chuck paying the dowry and blows the lid off of that secret. Rufus has his Humphrey Judgeypants on when Lily schemes to get Chivy out of the apartment. And through all of it, Serena as GG is hatching a plan to stop being the It Girl of the UES and hand the title over to Lola. But is she really ready to give up her crown?

Party du Jour
The Down to your Skivvies party at Kiki de Montparnesse, which was supposed to feature Serena modelling a line of lingerie. Also known as Serena's usual party wear.

Best Quote

"We do not negotiate with terrorists. Especially not ones from Florida." Lily (on the subject of Chivy)

 Best Outfit

Blair's girly orchid dress and tights was the kind of fabulous we first fell for on Queen B. A gaggle of mini-Blairs that Dan found on the steps of the Met also reminded us of those tights and coats from days of old.

Worst Outfit
Hands down, this one belongs to Chuck's one piece sweatsuit (apparently it's a Norwegian onesie. Someone needs to stop making that fetch happen).

Check back Thursday for a new recap from Bethany!