Cross Rhodes - Part 1 of 2 - Where You Won't Be Lonely

Dan feels honored when he learns that Upright Citizen's Brigade is performing (boring) excerpts from his book, "Inside." Blair tries to prove Serena's suspicions wrong in order to save their drama-rama friendship. On her way out of town, Ivy ends up on a collision course with the van der Woodsens.

The winner for "Most boring outfit of the day" goes to Dan, who refuses to use that writer's imagination on his wardrobe. C'mon Dan, Salinger (probably) dressed better than you!

Rufus was wearing his nice brown sweater, but opted for his throw-back comfort jacket, which Dan gives two-comfortable thumbs down. Way harsh, Daniel. And Rufus, don't listen to your bratty son, just wear what you dig.

Meanwhile, across NYC in the UES... a feuding S and B are locked in the breakfast nook by D - with nothing but their fashion to defend them.

Loving Blair's nature themed top, and hating on her whatever-the-hell-that-is skirt. But with a face like that, how can I hate on our bodacious brunette?

I can't. Oh and that simple necklace is a nice antidote to the skirt. Less is sometimes more, indeed

Serena also doesn't dress to impress (me). It seems like the designer couldn't make up his or her mind and went in three different directions. Someone needs a fashion GPS.

But Chuck is here to point us in the right direction with a bold and beautiful purple matching tie and handkerchief. Sidenote: why does Chuck always look either constipated or like he works in Murders and Executions with Patrick Bateman? Take a chill-pill and have a nice relaxing night at Dorsia!

He further spreads the fashion wealth by giving Dan's book-agent an illegal green scarf, ideal for her grey outfit and necklace. She looks more-than-happy here... book deals for everyone!!

Oh, but I am not happy to see CeCe in her current state. Still, even when she's sick as a dog, she's cool as a cat. I'd like to think that if were we homies, CeCe would have my back. I also like to pretend that she's an avid follower of YKYLF. Who sometimes guest blogs for Pretty Little Liars. What? It could happen.

As for CeCe's faux granddaughter, ChIvy's impressing me with her heavy necklace and golden shoulder studs. Girlfriend is constantly glued to her smartphone - she better have that unlimited data plan, or she's XOXO'd.

The real Charlie Rhodes is staring deeeeep into her coffee cup, lost in a trance, while wearing a lovely cream top.

What's in that coffee cup?
A) The Groupon deal of the day?
B) Her Inside lines?

D) Some sort of water-submergable recording device, since we all know she's the real Gossip Girl?

Cross Rhodes - Part 2 of 2 - Upper Eastsiders Brigade

So here's Chuck, wearing the most never-been-in-the-rain raincoat ever.

If Chuck were a pet, what would he be? A Cocker Spaniel? An Anaconda? Nay, none of those sexual themed animals. In fact, he would simply be... a Cheshire Cat. Look at that expression on Mr. Bass and tell me I'm wrong.

He's here to seduce Dan's book-agent, and between the scarf and neck-kiss, he can't miss. A closer view of Dan's book-agent reveals her necklace... what exactly is that design? Yay or nay, people?

She could care less, "Hold all my calls!" You'd think someone in the publishing industry could come up with a better line. Everyone knows "Hold all my calls!" is universal code for "It's office booty-call time!"

And what is it with grey or cream colored tops this episode? First the Real Charlie, and now Lilly, who is sitting down with...

Her evil sister! AHHHHH! And her necklace made out of jail-cell bars!

At least her fake daughter gives good face and good fashion. Chivy you are, as I like to call it, a Marry-On-the-Spot. As in, I know life will throw us some troubles, and we may not be 100% compatible, but one look at you and I wanna marry you right there on the spot.

But seriously. Houndstooth coat? Too adorable. Way to pick winning outerwear.

But who would win in S and B's battle of over-the-top coat colors. In one ring - it's green, and in the other ring - it's blue. FIGHT.

I think S wins the battle here - she's killing it in her all black attire from head-to-toe, with that blue oversized scarf thrown in. Poor B just looks like a lima bean. And everyone hates lima beans. They may tolerate them, but nobody really loves them.

How cold is it in NYC? Scarf-cold, but here at the theatre we see Real Charlie's scarf is a biiiit too long, and therefore very distracting from her otherwise pretty apparel.

Right, the theartre. Blair tries her hand at improv and thus forgets to give us our obligatory 4-outfits-per-episode recommended dosage.

Here's a suggestion maybe: always roll with your alt outfit of the day. That way you won't get caught by this (neurotic) fashion blogger.

Speaking of acting, this is the ultimate "Give me your 'I'm confused' face," as Chivy is finnaly exposed for who she really is. Lima beans are spilled, bigtime.

But the van der Woodesens don't really care all that much, as CeCe is on her deathbed. She's gone to a better place, folks - the offices of YKYLF! Now she can move from guest blogger to full time! Welcome to the team, CeCe!

Outside, a reborn and guilt free Ivy zips up her houndstooth coat, reflecting on some valuable lessons she learned along the way...

And with that, she makes like an Ivy plant and leaves.

::rimshoot::

Mini Recap: Cross Rhodes

Oh Cece. You were taken from us far too soon. We at YKYLF will pour out our tumblers of gin as you ascend to the great Studio 54 in the sky.

Party du Jour
There were no parties, but Cece dying of too much fabulous did bring the cast together.

Best Quote
Dan: "When I saw the shahtoosh scarf, I knew it was you."
Chuck: "I thought that was a nice touch."

Best Outfit
Chuck is wearing scarves again. What more do we need, really?

Worst Outfit
I'd like to think the outfits were almost universally uninspired because of Cece's untimely demise. Even Blair's outerwear was lackluster. Is she wearing a thermal pea pod? 

Check back Thursday for a new recap from Matt!