The day we've all been waiting for ... ish ... is finally here. The gang's all ready, but Blair has made one terrible miscalculation: she didn't invite Georgina. Instead, Georgina decides to crash the party, seduce Louis, and ruin the wedding - you know, as one does. She fails to seduce Louis, but does manage to record Blair telling Chuck she still loves him. This tape ends up on Gossip Girl just as Blair is standing at the altar. It looks like the wedding's off, but after groveling to Louis, they actually tie the knot. Unfortunately for Blair, he hasn't forgiven her - he's just decided to grow a personality, and that personality is basically a very cold, cruel jerk. Realizing she's trapped in a loveless marriage - and that Dan wrote Louis' vows - Blair flees before the honeymoon, with Dan driving the getaway car.
Most importantly, though: Gossip Girl is revealed!
For once, Blair gets to enjoy someone else's dream sequence.
Serena's subconscious is kind of enough to give Blair flattering makeup and nice hair. Essentially, this is the best Blair has lookd in ages.
For contrast, here's how Blair's been running around town on her wedding day:
In her bathrobe.
Okay, I realize that it's actually a very expensive coat, but the belt and the wide lapels give it a distinct "bathrobe" vibe. And, of course, she's opted to accent the look with yet another tiny hat. Now that she's a runaway bride, can she go back to the headbands? I yearn for her power headbands.
Part of the problem with tiny hats is that they make your head look gigantic, particularly if you have a very round face to begin with. All season, Leighton's face has looked off to me, and I think a big part of the problem has been these stupid tiny hats (as well as the flat hair).
And the makeup. Oh god, the makeup. Remember back when Blair had perfect, dewy makeup? I miss those days. How much eye makeup does she really need? I think Blair needs a refresher course on daytime makeup, because the excessive eye shadow, the obvious blush, and the bright lip are not doing her any favors. It looks like she's a 14 year old girl who's finally been allowed to play with makeup.
Okay, I'm including this cap for two reasons:
1) Is Princess Blair doing her own makeup? I realize that the Dutchess did her own makeup (supposedly) for the wedding, but after the prior cap, how did Eleanor not intervene and demand hair and makeup for Blair?
2) Can anyone ID that shade of Chanel lip gloss? I absolutely love it. It's not right for Blair's wedding day, but I'm not attending royal weddings any time soon.
Look, I love Blair. She is my favorite character, hands down. In the early seasons, her hair and makeup were absolutely stunning. Remember how lush her hair used to be? Those bouncy curls, the shininess? It was enough to put the girls of Rosewood to shame.
But oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Blair. You are marrying a prince. Spring for a trim. Your hair is one bottle of peroxide away from fourth-season Jenny. Look at those ends! You might have been going for beachy waves, but you wound up with Spring Break hangover hair. Where is the volume? The shine?
Seriously, how is it that Eleanor only realized on Blair's wedding day that Louis isn't right for her? All Eleanor had to do was look at Blair's hair. It's a cry for help.
Okay, I had to include this cap to give credit where credit is due:
Once the veil is on, the makeup looks much less harsh. Of course, she's spending the rest of the wedding with the veil off, but for the few seconds when she walks down the aisle, she really does look beautiful.
And of course, the Vera Wang wedding dress, in all its glory:
I know this is a random thing to focus on, but I love the scalloped hem. It has such an old-world feel. The line of the skirt with the veil is so perfectly classic - a nice reminder that Vera Wang, even with all the hype, does create gorgeous silhouettes.
The only thing I'm not crazy about with the dress is the bodice:
A random tulle bow and a fairly plain bodice are all very "meh" to me. I wish there had been more of a drape to the bodice. As it stands now, the bow hides her tiny waist (a remnant of when she was trying to hide her pregnancy, I'm guessing). If there had been a shape to the top of the bodice and more detailing to the rest of it, the dress could have been slightly more flattering. But hey, we'll leave that for the next wedding.
Also, am I the only person bummed that Dorota was not in the wedding party? Then again, if she'd been a bridesmaid, we would have missed out on her weird, matronly dress with what appears to be a "Best in Show" ribbon.
For the record: if you are making that face on your wedding day, and the three most important women in your life don't immediately stop and offer to sneak you out the bathroom window, Rachel Green-style ... that's a bad sign.
Aw, the Blairents! It's nice to see the return of Harold, looking sharp as always. I also kind of love that he and Eleanor are color-coordinated.
I'm happy to see Eleanor in rich colors for a change, but wish she'd opted for a more open neckline with that jacket. It had a lot of business going on down the lapels, and the tie-neck blouse makes the whole thing just seem overdone and claustrophobic.
I have such a hard time believing that a woman who designs such cute, vintage-inspired dresses can opt for such a dowdy, unflattering dress:
Eleanor, we need to talk. Stretchy satin is a friend to no woman, particularly when it's as poorly cut as it is on this dress. It's giving you a baby bump. A baby bump. And it's creating weird folds around your macaron. Do you really have no one in your life to tell you these things?
I'm guessing Cyrus is a bit too tactful to say "Honey, that dress makes you look like a pregnant moose," but have you no girlfriends who will be blunt, then pull eight other dresses that are far more flattering? Because I know I speak for all of us here at YKYLF when I say: we're here for you. Call us next time your daughter marries a Prince.
I mean, really. Who lets a dress drape like this? What is happening here?
Points for the cape, though. That's really the perfect outerwear for a rogue mission to ask your daughter's ex to crash the wedding.