Episode Synopsis: Everyone on the UES is searching for happiness this week. Dan is searching for meaning in his young life as he struggles to write an afterword to his recently published book. The choice comes down to making Blair happy or telling her how she can make him happy. Blair's happiness rests on the choice between the bland (but princely) father of her child and the far more sexytimes and exciting Chuck. Like Dan, Chuck's happiness rests on whether he can make Blair happy. Serena navel gazes over old Gossip Girl blasts and suddenly decides her happiness is in Dan. Nate's on the road to Kennedy Jr-style happiness if he's willing to follow Grandfather Vanderbilt. And Chivy? Well, she needs to decide who she really is before she gets to be happy. Max will be happy if someone just writes him a really fat cheque.
If being happy means being bedecked in bedazzled finery, then the ladies of the Rhodes Van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey household are very happy indeed.
At least that's what they'd have you believe. Because you've got to wonder about a woman who dresses up that much for a family brunch and drinks before her first coffee. Having said that, Lily, as always, looks impeccable. She's pretty much everything I want to be when I grow up: classy, wealthy, well dressed, well coiffed and married five times.
The only one at the table who can really rival Lily's sparkle is Serena.
Who needs a comb when you've got that much glitter and a glass of champagne? Not this girl. Hell, who needs family-appropriate clothing? You know, the kind that don't show off your new bra to all and sundry.
Not this girl. It's probably why Dan day drinks. Seeing a (step-) sister's bra at breakfast probably gives him flashbacks to when Jenny was living at home and pouting about being fabulously wealthy.
Less sparkly, but keeping the sparkle in Lily's eyes is Househusband Rufus and his waffles.
That's pretty much why he exists these days. To wear expensive knits and occasionally give the hired cooks a day off so he can make waffles in his diamond encrusted gold waffle maker (a wedding present from a fancy friend, I'm sure).
Then again, why bother doing anything else when you've got a wife like this who throws lavish parties because it's a Tuesday? Who clearly has her hair done professionally first thing in the day, because there's no one who can make their hair into an effing bow on their own?
Not Rufus. He's just going to keep on keeping on in those sweaters and occasionally dish out advice to Dan and then cockblock him by mentioning he gave out said advice to Serena. Good work Rufus. Good work. You should never trust a girl who dresses like this for brunch.
Is she even wearing pants? Is she forgoing all modesty for patterened, lacy tights?
Let's see what happens when she stands up:
OH NO SHE DIDN'T.
OH YES. SHE DID. LEATHER EFFING SHORTS.
Will wonders never cease. On the one hand, I'm thankful she's covering up all her girly bits. On the other hand, I'm completely thrown off by her decision to wear leather shorts with a sheer glitter blouse and suede booties. Honestly, I can't even wrap my head around it. Quick, fetch my smelling salts.
Or let's look at something else instead.
Okay, so I don't hate it. And it's refreshing to see someone of the Rhodes family not in full glitter to go to work. Or to see someone in the Rhodes family at least pretending to work. But there's something mildly, dare I say, Vanessa-ish happening? No, I know she isn't wearing five different patterns. But the necklaces. Add three more and five bangles and she's in Vanessaland. Overaccessorizing is a dangerous game my friends. There's a fine line between awesome and "why did you put on everything you own?" and, like Vanessa, Chivy isn't a natural Upper East Sider. She's bound to slip up one of these days. That is, if the writers don't send her to the Island of Misfit Minor Characters over the holidays.
She does clean up well though.
The coat isn't quite right, but it's sexy without giving it all away and it's well accessorized.
Remember when they took her to a gala and she got all single white female on Serena? Yeah....good times. She's come a long way. At least she's a bit more subtle with that plan. Anyone else creeped out when she says, "they're MY FAMILY now" to Max?
She's probably easing off some of the SWF vibes because she's started to figure out that dressing like Serena "my presence is my present" Van der Woodsen isn't for amateurs.
She has literally wrapped her boobs up like a Christmas present.
Sometimes I wonder what Lily must think of it all. I guess she hopes it's a phase and that Serena will learn to be a classy UES lady like herself.
Amanda was right. The gold sheath is pretty much perfect. Although, maybe she's overdoing it with the chunky jewelry these days. It looks like it's choking her.
Or maybe that's the face she made when she realized Serena paired a banana yellow clutch (that looks something like the waterproof camera cases one might take canoeing) with her purple and sparkle present dress.
I wonder how often Rufus needs to talk Lily down off the ledge of "You're not wearing that are you? No daughter of mine goes out with her boobs on display for every man, woman and child" tantrums. If Serena didn't live with Blair, it'd probably be a daily thing.