Memoirs of an Invisible Dan - Part 1 of 2 - Main Characters of "Inside"

Episode Synopsis: Dan lives up to the "Lonely Boy" moniker when his new book, Inside, alienates all his friends and family. You know things are bad when even Rufus isn’t on his side. The book also nearly ruins Blair’s engagement, practically gets Serena fired, makes Chuck question his loneliness, and offends Nate because he doesn’t merit his own character. Outside of Inside, Diana employs Charlie/Ivy as a spy after finding out her secret. I'm sure that will turn out just fine.

Aw! The happy couple is adorable, and pregnant B is glowing!

As cute as B and the prince are, I almost wish Blair and Chuck were still together. The two of them, the dog, and the baby…what a dream! Blair’s dress is stunning, and Chuck’s suit is so Chuck. I am in love with the pink tie (with purple polka dots!) and the patterned pocket square. Why can’t all men dress like this?

Oh, Serena. I thought showing your macaron to the world was the worst you can do. Apparently, you can also dress like a pumpkin! The white stripes on the sides do this tragic dress no favors, and the knit sweater? Save it for a cold day in winter.

Best snapshot of the episode. Chuck’s stare, the pink tie, and the pocket square. It’s old Chuck Bass. You know, the alcoholic one who went missing quite a lot.

Dan wearing plaid… grrrr. But he’s just so cute kissing Monkey I had to add this picture. Speaking of which, Dan is currently rocking a new poodle hairdo, and...no. Just, no.

Nate, looking chipper and embracing his new (?) haircut and all-black attire. Of course, he hasn’t read Dan’s book yet.

Chuck never fails to make me smile. This combination of his tie and pocket square is just as beautiful as before. Real men wear pocket squares. Hear that, Rufus?

Dan looks good in a suit! This is a first – not in a v-neck, not in plaid! Congrats!

Blair and Serena are obviously concerned – they can’t decide who looks worse today. And it’s… a tie! Too much is going on in Blair’s dress, and Serena is still mitigating her pumpkin disaster.

Blair in pajamas is one of the best things in this episode AND her hair falls perfectly. How does she manage to do that? No matter, it's the B we know and love!

Also, Serena is using her own hair as a hair tie. How does she manage to do that?

What to wear with a crochet top? Sequined pants, if you're SvdW! I actually like these...

…or so I thought. WHAT is going on with the bum? Take those off immediately! PS: We can see your panty line.

There’s nothing better than a heart-to-heart with step-mama and son, particularly when step-son matches his lavender stripes to his tie. Chuck + Purple = Classic.

I’m not digging the messy hair for work, but Serena’s unpolished earrings are a nice compliment to her natural fibers of her tank top.

Does this not seem like a flashback to Blair and Nate on her bed? No? Just me?

Memoirs of an Invisible Dan, Part 2 of 2: Onlookers of the Disaster

I don’t really care to learn this character’s name, so I’ll call her Grey for now. Ever since the Taupe Queen has left, we need a Grey Queen to take her place. Her top is nice, although it gives her unflattering arms. The bow is a redeeming touch, but I wish she would throw away those PTA mom pants. High-waisted AND matching her top? Ugh. Her bag saves the outfit - and it’s not grey!

Serena’s boss knows how to accessorize! And good job with the silky top, it's a great color for her skin tone.

I have a problem with Diana… she thinks tight clothing is the only option in her wardrobe. And once again we have weird detail around the chest area…

Lily is too cute with her summer dress. Her earrings are a bit kitschy, but it pulls together her “little girl at a picnic” look.

No plaid! Rufus is turning into a true UES dad.

Charlie, I thought living on the UES would have taught you a little bit about fashion. But because it was a bad wardrobe day for Serena, I’ll let you off easy. I just don’t know what is going on the with pink, short-sleeved cardigan with oversized pocketsk, and I can’t even begin to deal with the front. The whole look is a bit too Vanessa-esque. Charlie, what's happening to you?

I know Dorota wears the same thing every day, but her concerned look and ruffled collar were just too much for me to handle. She’s so adorable. I can’t wait to see baby #2!

Alright, this girl will only wear grey. And 80’s mom shoes? I really can’t tell whether she’s 20 or 45, and it's confusing me. I don't like to be confused.

Aaaaand another grey outfit. This might be a record, even outdoing Juliet. Her necklace is beautiful with her neckline though. I can't help but notice that the puppy nesting on Dan’s head has grown, even since the beginning of the episode…

Thankfully, Lily swoops in ready to wow the crowd. The neckline of the dress is extremely flattering, and she continues to impress me every time. Also, a great pop of color from the mini yellow clutch.

Rufus is in a suit! Sort of… It's not a suit without a tie, in my opinion. He’s still getting the hang of the UES married man outfits.

Stressing over the idea of her secret being discovered, Charlie/Ivy (what to call her these days?) decided the way to go was wearing a bulgy necklace that cuts off her neck. Is stress breaking her concentration on fashion? She lives on the UES now. Why is she dressing like a Brooklyn refugee?

What the...Louis? You’re. A. Prince. How's about something a little more extravagant? He's teetering on Rufus levels of boredom, but the small pink stripes (Chuck Bass-inspired?) bring him back from the edge.

What a cute family photo ... except there is horrible tension and no one is actually happy here. So, just like a family photo. Serena seems to want to tear the dress off her body (or maybe that's just me), and Louis looks ready to kill. Blair’s dress is even more… interesting from far away. It looks a bit like a ripped skating dress. I want to love it, and the colors are nice, but I hate it.

I thought the necklace was bad on its own, but the strapless dress and shiny belt combo is even worst. This girl needs to learn!

Louis, like Chuck, has a thing for tiny stripes and checkers – a new style after plaid? We’ll see if the Humphreys catch on.

I am obsessed with Lily’s outfit. The skirt looks so good, and the silky top matches perfectly with the grey. I almost wish she had worn those separately, because there are almost too many ruffles in this outfit, but she is perfect, so who am I to criticize?

Diana is gifted in jewelry taste, but her neckline should be a few inches higher. I know she loves playing the cougar, but please. She doesn’t have to be such a stereotype. It's embarrassing.

Here comes the disappointed father talk. And Rufus is in a polo. With checkers on the inside. And crossed arms. There might be a direct correlation between Rufus eschewing plaid and becoming less desperate for his kids' approval. A few years ago, he'd have blamed the rest of the world for Dan's book, because his kids can't do anything wrong.

I guess Charlie/Ivy didn’t get the minimal accessories memo. At least I can say good job on the dress. I don’t like the cut, but the fabric is nice.

!!! She’s wearing RED! Not grey! And beautiful accessories! Are we sure this is the same Queen Grey? Maybe it's her stylish twin sister.

Speaking of red, the boss's red pants are amazing, and they looked even better paired with the black blouse. Girlfriend knows what she wants and she knows how to get it.

Mini Recap: Memoirs of an Invisible Dan

"Inside" is about to be published, and Dan's finally told all his friends the truth about it. Hilarity ensues: Serena spends the episode breezily assuming she's the golden love interest, only to learn her depiction is less than flattering. Charlie Trout accidentally hangs himself with his belt. Nate becomes a wounded baby bird when he hears (not reads, of course) that his character was merged with Eric's. And, of course, Dan nearly ruins Blair's engagement thanks to a sex scene that Louis reads. Also, Diana figures out Charlie's game and hires her as a spy.

Party du Jour
Dan's book release party, where he reveals to the world that he is Anonymous.

Best Line
Blair, summing up Dan's writing style: "I know just how little imagination he really has. It's a memoir masquerading as fiction."

Best Outfit
This was not an episode full of standout fashion, although Chuck yet again brought his A-game. However, the title of "Best Outfit" goes to Blair for her very cute sundress with the tulle hem. "Dress I want to own" beats "Pink Tie" every time.

Headshaker
This week the honor goes to Serena's sherbert colored dress gave her a bustline more fitting for the geriatric set than the wild bunch (although Blair's taupe horror was a close second).

Check back Thursday for a recap by Carla!