Shattered Bass - Part 1 of 3 - The Good

Episode synopsis: Blair is trying to convince Louis' mother that she is a worthy princess. Unfortch, her habit of running off to talk to Chuck in secret makes Louis and his mère suspicious. Charlie finagles an invite to the Constance Billard Alumni Ball from Dan, then throws away her meds, steals Serena's Cotillion dress (except she doesn't), and tries to seduce Dan as "Serena" (or does she?). Uncle Jack comes to town and at first, it seems like he's screwing Chuck over, but then in a double-cross, he kind of saves the day. Oh, and Raina finds out Russell caused the fire that killed her mother. And Russell, pissed at the Bass men's double-cross, lures Blair onto an abandoned rooftop and... to be continued.

So, I've got to come clean. I've been perusing the recaps of this show (mainly for the fashion) but haven't seriously sat and watched an episode of GG for longer than I'd care to admit. But I'm sure everything's the same as last time I watched it... right?

 

Oh, actually, Serena looks even better than I remembered. And she spent most of the episode quite covered-up and classy-looking. Now, from reading recaps, I know this is actually quite unusual. But I think that, given what we learn about Charlie this episode, they needed to make Serena look as sane as possible.

I really did like this dress, which she spends the first half of the episode waltzing around in. It's light and airy and not too short, and I like how she's complimented the airy fabric with heavier necklaces and rings. 

This frock is an unusual colour with an unusual cut, and half of the torso seems to be covered with about 25 brooches. But, Serena being Serena, it looks good. Kind of like a muumuu mixed with a shower curtain, but the fit is nice and, again, she's nicely covered up. It kind of reminds me of something Lily would wear, minus the chest embellishment.

But come on with the earrings. Those are heinous earrings. Those are like JLo circa Jenny-From-The-Block-earrings. The best I can say about them is at least they're a somewhat neutral colour. All in all, though, a nice showing from Serena this week.

(And can I say that I feel a bit ripped off to recap an episode where Serena only wears two outfits? For an episode containing two black-tie events, there was a distinct lack of costume changes.)

Now, I'm not quite sure who this Raina person is, but I thought that her two outfits were cute this week, too. Perhaps a little plain but... well... given what we see some other characters (*cough*Blair*cough*) wearing later on, I think simple and elegant is a good way to appear.

This orange dress was Jen's pick for best outfit of the show. And I think it's pretty, but wouldn't have been my pick.


I like the interesting neckline (what does Raina have against dresses with two straps?), and it falls in this gorgeous, Grecian sort of way:

I wondered about how often these women are driven around in yellow cabs in these designer dresses. Wouldn't they be more nervous of sitting on gum, or something? Or has the recession meant that they can't use their personal limos as frequently?

Princess Sophie, however, I'm certain would never ride around in a yellow cab. You guys, I think she's my favourite character right now. Not for the above outfit, but for what she wore to the engagement party:

Ooh la la and tres bien. LOVE the hemline, LOVE the utilitarian jacket, LOVE the clutch and LOVE LOVE LOVE the neckline:

This, Raina, is how to truly rock a one-strap neckline. This is also my pick for best outfit of the week. {Ok, you might have a point...is it too late to change my pick? - E-I-C Jen} The Princess manages to be both classy, on-trend, fashion-forward and unique all at the same time. Mais oui.

And yes, Jen. It's too late. You made your 700-thread count bed, now lie in it.

{Hmph.}

Moving on. Eleanor also looked fabulous at the engagement party:

She's still a fashion designer, right? Oh, yes, how could I forget VITAMINWATER PROMOTIONAL MOMENT:

On the upside, Eleanor looks good here. And is that bright pink flavour new? Sorry, sorry, I'm just having flashbacks to the VITAMINWATER martini bar from the Season 2 premiere.

Let's all cleanse our palettes with a refreshing picture of Jack:

Yeah, I don't know. He wore this suit the entire episode. I don't know how to recap a bunch of guys in suits and ties, but he looks good here, I think? And he certainly was a good guy this week, saving the day with his clever double-cross.

Shattered Bass - Part 2 of 3 - The Bad

Just to clarify, when I say "The Bad" I don't mean badly dressed (that's coming up... *cough*Blair*cough*). I mean people who acted like the bad guys and gals this week. Starting with Mr. Charles Bass:

I know, I know. He acts like the bad boy every week (... he still does, right? I remember he always used to.) Here, Chuck cuts a dashing figure in a nicely-tailored grey suit and the word "Momsen" over his pants. FOR THE LAST TIME (did you hear the news? Taylor Momsen and Jessica Szohr aren't going to be series regulars anymore!)

Ha, it's entirely accidental that I got these screencaps when their names were on the screen. Anyway, this one is to highlight Chuck's colour-coordinated violet tie and violet checked shirt. Very dapper, sir.

He wore this GORGEOUS overcoat when he was strutting around on the roof of the building that he's in charge of, or whatever. He kept the collar popped in the back for this whole scene in order to show off the really pretty lining in the back (I tried to screencap it, but the tricky guy moves around too much. Just take my word that this coat's lining is just as gorgeous as Chuck's face is in this image.)

And Vanessa's here because she is a bad dresser. I have no idea what this outfit even is, and the show didn't care to explain it fully to me, either. So let's just guess that it's a maxi dress, with a shirt wrapped around the waist, covered up by a bomber jacket, and with a scarf around her neck.

Yeah, sorry V. Your character has become entirely useless at this point. Good luck with that whole study-abroad thing!

And Dan's here, not because he's a bad guy, but because I never really liked him. And also, this week, he gave me nothing to work with. He wore this henley. Later, he wore a tux. And later still, he wore an expression of "OMFG Charlie, WTF??" But we're not there yet.

Nate gets to be in this section because he was so bad-ass this week. He was instrumental in sorting out the whole business with Russell, Raina's Mom, Chuck's Dad, and the whole fire thing.

And then he looked all kinds of good in his tux later on:

Heh. I like how this screencap makes it look almost like he's holding Raina's yellow clutch. Which I'm sure he would, if she asked him to. He's a gentleman like that.

Shattered Bass - Part 3 of 3 - The Crazy

You guys! There were so many surprise cameos in this episode, I could hardly stand it. First up: Kati and Iz!

Ten pounds of accessories? Check. Matching outfits? Check. Confused bitchfaces? Check, check. 

And then, and THEN, we are treated to the much-anticipated return of Mini S and Mini B from The Dark Knight.

Aww, all growed up! Never change, you two.

Another unexpected cameo appearance was made by Serena's dress and hairstyle from Hi, Society.

Except, it's not. I know, I thought it was too. But seriously, go back and look at our Hi, Society recap and you'll see it's a leeetle different. Charlie's is a bit more yellow, the trim at the top is more metalic, and it doesn't have the same rosettes at the bottom. But still. It's no accident that it's a dead ringer.

Speaking of Charlie, this week the role of Serena van der Woodsen will be played by HER INSANE COUSIN. And she's not insane just because of her nutso scheming to take over Serena's life. She's insane by emptying out her pill bottle into a TRASH CAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM. Like, nobody's going to notice that? Ever heard of flushing them down the toilet?

I had my doubts about her when we saw her here, wearing a candy necklace and a Ring Pop as a ring. That much high-fructose corn syrup is no good for anybody, even as jewellery. And is it just me, or does she weirdly look like a blond Blair sometimes?

Remember Anne's warning last week about a girl in jeggings? "Never trust a girl in jeggings." To that, I would like to add: "especially when she is wearing over-the-knee socks and boots on top of the jeggings." "And when her name is Charlie Rhodes."

And as Dan learned, back away slowly when a girl who is not Serena asks you to call her Serena while she's seducing you. Never a good sign.

Also never a good sign? One of Blair's Audrey Hepburn fantasy sequences. Those always start out so well, and then turn into nightmares, don't they? However, her Roman Holiday sequence with Louis was sweet (...you know, until Louis turned into Chuck, who crashed the Vespa)

And before we get to Blair's engagement dress, I would like to take a moment to appreciate Louis. Is he crazy for getting engaged to Blair so quickly? Yes, but can you blame him? She is fabulous.

Interestingly, Louis was also wearing a purple shirt this week (remember Chuck's checked one?). He is also wearing this gorgeous suede jacket, and a very sweet, handsome look on his face.

If this was Pretty Little Liars (the show I usually recap), we would have had some quality Louis shirtlessness this week. Alas, I guess Gossip Girl is too highbrow for that sort of thing these days. The closest we get is the machismo Louis shows when he goes to confront Chuck about Blair:

On PLL, we get gratuitous male shirtlessness. On GG, they just have to unbutton their coats. Make of that what you will.

So. Blair.

She starts off this week so happy, in this orangey-fuschia dress with the most amazing necklace I have ever seen.

It's like a lei mixed with heavy-duty chainlink mixed with fabulosity. I covet this, although the bold flowers foreshadow what's to come later on. However, I thought she looked adorable strolling down the street with Louis and his mother:

In the white coat and tights, she looks very reminscent of Season 1 Blair. Which is a neat callback, considering Charlie was dressed as Season 1 Serena, and her Season 1 minions made an appearance too!

But I know what you want to talk about. Blair's engagement dress.

Well, it's definitely ornate. Check it out from the back:

I guess she's going for the whole "royal" thing here? Unfortunately, she has dressed herself up like the wall decorations of Versailles from the ribcage up, and like Morticia Addams from the waist down:

I just... I don't know about this one. It's certainly an interesting dress, but the fact that she wore it for half of the episode made its insanity stand out even more.

Oh, and then she throws this Joan Crawford-meets-80s-working-girl jacket on top of it, like that's going to help:

Yeah. That doesn't help. I snooped around a bit to see if I could find out who designed this dress, but it seems to be a closely guarded secret. I suspect that the designer responsible doesn't want their name attached to this Halle-Berry-2002-Oscar-dress-meets-10-pounds-of-velvet ensemble. {It's since been identified...Alexis Mabille Fall 2010 - Jen}

I did feel bad for B, though. She finally came clean to Louis, who loves her anyway, only to be put in peril yet again for Chuck's wrongdoing (which wasn't even really Chuck's fault, this time). Who will she choose? Will she wear this dress for the whole next episode? And WTF is Georgina doing back in town?

Can't wait for next week, you guys. I think I might be sucked back into this show.

Mini Recap: Shattered Bass

The surprising: Jack has a good side.  The not-as-surprising: Charlie is cuh-ray-zee!

Party du Jour
We were treated to not one, but two parties. First there was Blair and Louis' engagement soiree, and then the Constance-St Jude 65th Annual Alumni Fundraiser. (BTW, I find it hard to believe that we never heard mention of Galas 62 through 64. That's totally something B would have been involved with, even as a student.)

Best Line
Chuck, to the rehab heavies: "Watch the suit!"

Best Outfit
You're not going to believe this, but I'm voting for Raina's orange gown. Sorry, can't find a pic just yet...I'll bet the rest of the internet is in a similar state of shock.

Headshaker
So many winks and nods to earlier seasons! Charlie wore an almost identical variation on Serena's "Hi, Society" ballgown, mini-Blair and mini-Serena from 2x03 gave Chuck a tongue-lashing, AND...and, and, and, AND....KATY AND IZ RETURN!

Wow, it was like Gossip Girl Christmas! Check back on Thursday, when Ann gifts us with the full recap!