While You Weren't Sleeping - Part 1 of 3 - Dan and The Delegating Dictator

Episode Synopsis: Holy action packed night! It's Eric’s eighteenth birthday, and what better way to celebrate than spending the day smuggling drugs before his childhood themed party? The only way to top that would be to find a checkbook linked to a trust fund in the pile of gifts. Wait… that actually happened. A shockingly well dressed Serena and Ben assist in the story line, while Damien lurks in the background. In a play to keep Bass Industries intact, Lily and Chuck teamed up to pull one over on Russell Thorpe. Slaps, lies, and schemes follow. At Chuck’s request, Nate kept Raina busy being bathrobed and horrible all day. Even Rufus got in the action- I just love it when Lily lets him help. Meanwhile, over in Blair World, lack of both sleep and Chuck led Blair to do crazy things (like hang out with Dan and wear two different shoes). Oh, and Vanessa returned to skulk around town while dressed like a bag lady… pretty much her usual jam.

Oh Blair, you make Gossip Girl fun. I’d pick you over Raina any day.

Blair is usually pushy, but lack of sleep turned her in to a real psycho. She kicked off her day being a snot both at home and work. I don’t think her two-year plan involves getting a personality transplant, so hopefully her employees aren’t litigious.

Without rest or assistance poor B has to be fabulous on her own. Sadly this outfit is not going to help the cause.

You know that phrase, “never too much of a good thing?” I think it only applies to things like cake and diamonds. I LOVE everything that B is wearing, just not as an ensemble. I adore the edgy metallic floral Alice + Olivia blazer as well as the sweet and shiny tweed Milly dress. But add in the patterned tights and I get lost. It just seems like a glittery expensive hot mess.

Is she downtown and trendy? Or is she a wealthy wholesome co-ed? Maybe this is the costume department’s way of visually exemplifying her internal struggle? Or maybe I have been reading too many fashion theory books. Regardless, the color and proportion seem a bit disjointed.

Pick a theme, chickadee. In this case mixing sugar and spice didn’t turn out nice.

In other news, I am riveted by the Minions this week. Captivated! They appear to be caught between Coco Chanel and Bea Arthur from the Golden Girls.

The colorful tweed, chunky costume jewelry, and vintage Minion headbands scream classic Twenties glamour. I particularly love New Minion’s looks. Although Blair can’t remember her name, I can’t seem to get her out of my head. That gold sequined number she wore to Eric’s party was just marvelous.

All is not sunny on the Upper East Side. Penelope appears to be impersonating Barbara Bush. The high collar bow neck blouse and the boxy tweed jacket are doing nothing for her (no wonder she has an attitude problem). But these blue flower earrings take the cake. I actually think Mrs. Bush has these earrings and wore them during her husband’s Presidency in the early Nineties.

And then there is the blonde Minion, who left Skipper and Ken back at the dream house so she could Skype with Blair. She is just so PINK.

The jury is still out on Blain/Dair. I enjoy their witty banter, but I just don’t see how this can work. Frankly he’s got too much chest hair to be rolling around in B’s 750 thread count sheets. Dorota is going to have to clean the bed with a dust buster each morning if this relationship gets physical.

The good news is that this friendship is having a very positive effect on Danny Boy. He is going to Midtown to pick up fancy coffee and seems to have ditched the plaid flannel all together. He even wore a double-breasted grey wool topcoat when he visited W.

I have died and gone to heaven. This outfit is gorgeous and classic Blair. The cream and black Milly floral blouse is girly yet flirty. This metallic brocade Bensoni skirt is a perfect proportion and length for B. Yes please!

I almost even love the mismatched Roger Vivier shoes. They would be a win without the Thanksgiving sized Pilgrim buckles. But I guess this is appropriate footwear for Blair’s trip to Brooklyn. After all, she is discovering a New World.

I pray the sofa has been cleaned recently. I am having flashbacks of seasons past with the likes of Georgina, Vanessa, and Gothic Jenny curled up in that exact spot. Freaky Friday indeed.

Speaking of Vanessa, it came back. I say “it” because she really just looked like a big crocheted train wreck. Think Babushka meets Navajo Indian meets Granny’s blanket. Sprinkle in some oversized jewelry and a hint of desperation and you pretty much sum up the look. I’ve seen panhandlers who are more put together.

Fortunately, she crept back into the darkness. Fingers crossed that she stays there.

While You Weren't Sleeping - Part 2 of 3 - Slaps and Schemes

I really dislike almost everything that Raina wears. Serena must have passed the Streetwalker honors to the new girl. Without fail she oozes sex and pouty lips wherever she goes.

Luckily she covered up her usual skintight daywear with a delectable black wool coat and a Eugena Kim leopard beret. Good thing that she’s bundled up! Poor Raina isn’t used to walking around in parks (since Chicago is just so desolate and barren).

Cue the exciting jaunt through nature with Nate.

I guess pairing down your wardrobe to only henleys, interchangeable zip sweaters, and plaid shirts saves a lot of time. Instead of shopping, Nate fills his day by playing pool and babysitting the ladies (first Epperly, now Raina).

Adventures in Babysitting leads to Raina in a bathrobe smoking some schwag and binging on ice cream. Guess who's got the munchies? Be careful Rai Rai - pot is a gateway drug.

Chuck’s moodiness over Raina seems to have clouded his standard sassy aesthetic. While I adore this windowpane plaid suit, it is lacking his usual panache and sparkle. It’s like the color has been sucked out of it. I guess it’s hard to focus on being zippy when you are concentrating on corporate espionage.

Russell, you really need to beef up your building security. First Chuck is able to login to your computer, and then Damien strolls in off the street. What kind of an operation are you running over there? That would never happen here in Chicago. What we lack in parks, we make up for in mobster muscle. We keep our shit tight.

Chuck’s windowpane suit also makes an appearance during the slap heard ‘round the world. Ouch.

The most exciting part of the Chuck/ Lily smack down was Lily’s hair. It was flawless. So perfect, in fact, that it didn’t even move when she flat-handed Chuck in the middle of a restaurant. How does she do that? Talk about extended hold hairspray.

Both Lily and Chuck shined when they appeared at Eric’s birthday party.

This rich and vibrant checked sport coat is one of my favorites. Chuck looks so dashing and handsome. I hope that he can save Bass Industries. Obviously I want a win for Chuck, but I am also hoping that Raina and Russell will skip town ASAP.

I’ve long suspected that Lily works for the CIA or some other covert government ops. She is so good at lying and espionage. A little too good. My suspicions were confirmed during this episode. She popped up at the EXACT moment that blackmail money was changing hands.

Perfect hair. Perfect timing. Very curious.

If she is a CIA operative, she is definitely on their “best dressed agents” list. This red Carolina Herrera is fierce. The color and cut are perfect for her. I’m also smitten with her oversized sequin earrings.

Rounding out the scene is the house husband.  I think Rufus is operating under the same theory as Nate. His wardrobe is a parade of indistinguishable zip sweaters, button downs, and sport coats.

I feel so sorry for him. I think he is suffering from van der Woodsen induced Stockholm syndrome.

While You Weren't Sleeping - Part 3 of 3 - Cocaine and Candy: Happy Birthday Eric!

As a general rule of thumb, I try to avoid hanging out with ex-cons. But after watching Ben and Serena, I might be changing my tune. In this episode Serena actually looked appropriate and attractive.

She spent the evening talking and playing Scrabble instead of her usual R rated antics. I think Ben was whispering sweet nothings into her ears because she said “détente” in this scene. Cute! Someone’s using her fancy words! She is getting so intellectual that I sort of expect her to start wearing tweed blazers with elbow patches and carrying around a monocle.

I really like her deep purple dress, the gray cardigan, and the textured tights. Yes, this is obviously her “morning after” look.  But she looks so happy and much more put together than I would after a wordy all-nighter. She even made coffee? Hello Professor Domestic Diva!

After an outfit change and quick mani (she went from Essie’s Hot Chocolate to a rich dark color), Serena seems ready to tackle the underbelly of the drug world. The mix of creams, browns, and grays is perfect for an afternoon of scheming and hanging out with ex-cons. Not sure if you realized this but Serena does her best thinking in neutrals.

I am honestly distressed by the appropriateness of her daytime look. Where is the cleavage and embarrassingly tiny skirt? Sound the alarm; she even brushed her hair. This comfy cream cowl neck is perfect when paired with the skirt, opaque tights, and brown boots. The grey wool double-breasted pea coat is yummy. Love!

On a side note, did they redecorate the lobby? And why is it so busy in there?

Ben’s big house orange jumpsuit must have turned him off to color. He always looks so dark and sad.

Typically when I spend the day as a drug mule, I try not to cuff my jeans. I just don’t think it looks legit. Other than that noticeable error in denim judgment, I’d say the birthday boy looks pretty nice. The blue plaid shirt brings a pop of color and the gray wool toggle coat seems tasteful but still age appropriate.

For the record, I KNEW Eric was not sick with the flu. Where were the gossipy magazines? I didn’t see the tell tale empty 7Up bottles or random tissues. I’m no fool. Eric really does need a primer on childhood since he can’t even convincingly fake being sick.

 After a day of plotting, Eric is ready to celebrate his birthday in style. The plaid shirt, gray wool vest, and solid color tie are wonderful but don’t really coordinate with the “Childhood” theme. Shouldn’t he be wearing something a bit more colorful and hip? In times like this I like to ask myself, “What would the Biebs do?”

I guess Eric is feeling somber after realizing that he has to use his own trust fund to pay off Damien. Cheer up Eric! How can you be serious when you are surrounded by oversized lollipops and listening to Ke$ha’s lyrical masterpiece "Tik Tok"?

 Continuing on the Serena shock and awe theme, this is my favorite ensemble of the episode. Serena’s high-class hooker days are behind us. This is actually happening!

I am dying over this metallic L’Agence blazer, metallic tank, and silver Collette Dinnigan mini. Fab-u-lous. She looks so polished and appropriate. I would wear this outfit in a heartbeat.

I’m waiting for a round of “Kumbaya” to break out. The family’s back together!

While it took a shipment of cocaine-laced Dutch flowers to do it, I’m glad Serena and Eric bonded over helping their mom. It’s kind of heartwarming.

I would briefly like to discuss the neon green Sno Kone Bear. Where can I get one of these? Unlike Eric, I never grew up and would welcome the opportunity to be surrounded by kitsch and piñatas.

Mini Recap: While You Weren't Sleeping

These episode titles are usually a bit of a stretch, but this one doesn't even make sense.  YKYLF reader Iris pointed out that the title refers to Blair's lack of sleep. HOW could I have overlooked that??  No matter...it was the best GG epi in a while, and for that, I am grateful.

Party du Jour
Eric's childhood-themed 18th bday

Best Line
Either Lily's "Do you realize how gauche it is to open gifts at a party? Before dessert?" or Dan's "This just went from Woman on the Verge to Saw 2. I don't like gore-porn, really."

Best Outfit
So many choices! I'm torn between B's silver ensemble at left, Serena's shockingly APPROPRIATE FOR DAYTIME attire, and Chuck's divine checked jacket at Eric's birthday.

Headshaker
It's super cute that the GG writers try to work in Chicago references, even if they're inaccurate. ::pat pat pat::

Speaking of cute Chicagoans, Anne will have a full recap for you, this Thursday!