The Townie - Part 1 of 2 - The Jetsetters, Roadtrippers, and Townies

Episode Synopsis: This week’s episode was one of revelations, confessions, and discovery. Lily’s fantastic parenting skills and expertise as a hostess finally came to the forefront, as did her deception in sending Ben to jail and betrayal of selling Bass Industries.

In a series of flashbacks, we finally get the entire story of Serena's supposed boarding school transgressions with Ben...I mean, Mr. Donovan. Intercut with said flashbacks, we have Dan, Blair, and Rufus' vintage Morris Minor Convertible (Two For the Road, anyone?) as they search into Juliet’s past. Joining the unlikely pair is Damien, who leads the trio to Mrs. Sharp, Juliet’s normal, townie mother.

Juliet herself arrives home, is greeted by the mailman, later spots the UESiders, and books it back to NY just in time to threaten S. The Archibalds’ family drama finally comes to a head as Anne admits she and the Captain could never work.

The half-season finale ends with Chuck off to possibly recruit his enemy - Jack Bass, Serena seeing Ben after all these years, and Blair and Dan...washing dishes and sharing a moment.

We didn't see much of Chuck this episode - but as per usual, he was looking dapper in a suit and tie. Suit, pink-and-navy shirt-tie combination, gold Rolex, and a glass of scotch. Classic Chuck Bass, not much more to say.
Except this line: "My face actually hurts from smiling so much."

I'm still wondering why Chuck Bass, who owns a bowtie and coordinating pocket square in every color of the rainbow, would choose grey and pink for a holiday party. We've seen Chuck in so many suits they're beginning to blend together. As much as I love suited and booted Chuck, I miss the whimsy of his season one and two outfits.

Yeah, I'm confused too, Chuck. Why is there a picture of Lily (whom I mistakenly thought was Juliet during my livetweet - Lily's doctor is good) with the same dress, updo, and earrings behind you? Why the paisley bowtie and grey suit with subtle pink running throughout?

This, Juliet, is how you travel. With a woollen grey sweater that bears no resemblance to Rufus' and leather overnighters. We'll pretend to forget where you're going, and more importantly why you're going, because your pocket square is shaped like a rose, and lavender looks good on you.

Quelle horreur! The Queen B and Lonely Boy? These two make an unlikely alliance - and an unholy coupling. Blair will always remain best-dressed of the two. Donning a checkered coat and Eugenia Kim beret, B is well equipped to, as GG puts it, "find that bitch". The lace tights and Giuseppe Zanotti two-tone pumps are, of course, parfait, as usual.
Still not sure what's going on with her bag. It's a bit of a mess, really.

I was on the fence about this outfit, but ultimately, decided that I love the silk top with lace insets and tweed skirt. The lace insets on the sleeves do match her lace tights - which was what made me love it.

Gorgeous makeup, albeit flat hair, but I wanted to draw attention to Blair's bow necklace. N'est-il pas adorable? If you found her lack of headbands this episode alarming, B makes up for it with this necklace.

Perhaps one of the most hilarious moments of this episode, we have Blair explaining to Dan that one must wash Riedel glasses with L'Occitane shampoo (and props to Dan for pronouncing L'Occitane correctly - he's assimilating to the UES nicely). We'll forgive the giant cluster of pearls that serves as a necklace, because of the three ostenatiously large necklaces of the episode, this is the best. The red-and-black tweed dress is festive, shows off Blair's oh-so tiny waist, and also matches…

Yeah, we didn't expect it either. Dan and Blair matching? Say it ain't so!

Poorly-constructed grey coat, jeans, brown loafers…*yawn*. Next, please.

Underneath the grey trench Dan wears a navy blue henley. Only thing I can say is, *yawn* and Dan, please button the top of your shirt. Your chest hair is milimeters away from demanding its own trailer and a mention in the credits.

Also, I'd like to draw attention to Blair's childhood dolls collection - she's got her very own cabbage patch doll (has her doll met Cedric, Dan's own cabbage patch?), right alongside limited edition barbies and a Carebear.

I was hoping for Dan to forgo his plaid for the holidays. 'Twas not to be, mes amies. (He and Blair do match rather nicely, however.)

Following Blair's look of disgust upon entering 252 Cornice Ave…an old foe (ally?) pops up.

Damien! Looking devilishly handsome as always. His clothes, however, are a bore.
Black.

And more black. (although he complements Dan and Blair's outfits rather nicely. They make an odd trio, albeit a matching one.)

Boarding school Damien, however, is adorable. His asking Serena if a B- would be okay (S: "I want an A+.") and look of amazement after the Serena van der Woodsen kissed him endeared him to all of us. We almost forgot he was a drug dealer. The buttoned grey school cardigan and perfectly knotted tie scream adorable nerd. Well that, and the pencil in his hand while the rest of the group watches Serena down absinthe. I'm curious to know exactly how he got into his profession…

Blair and Dan's conversation to Conneticut was hilarious (Blair: "Is the pedal to the metal? Because I swear if I shove my feet through the floor I could run faster."), but this picture warrants a laugh. Note Damien's headphones - is he trying to drown out Blair and Dan?

Ben did quite a one-eighty this episode. From the scheming prisoner with a grudge against Serena, he develops a moral compass and actually warns Nate that Juliet is going after Serena. It appears this moral compass was in play even back in his and Serena's boarding school days. As Serena says, "he was the only guy to ever say no to [her]".

The leather shoulder bag, tweed coat, plaid shirt, and comb-over all scream pretentious boarding school teacher. I could see him in some twelve-dollar-a-cup niche coffee shop, grading papers on a Saturday afternoon.

The best shot I could get of Ben's second outfit - navy blazer and brown pants. Hardly noteworthy, but his and Serena's 'study session' was très adorable.

Dressed in a woollen brown top, jeans, and (are they moccasins?) questionable shoes, Mrs. Sharp is quite a departure from the cocktail-dress-at-noon-wearing mothers of the Upper East Side. However, it encompasses Juliet's non-UESider status perfectly, and her mother looks every bit the suburban - I mean townie - mom who bakes cookies and pins their children's paintings onto the walls.
Note the well-worn, scratched up couch, complete with masking tape. Kudos to the GG prop department for realism.

Ignoring the battered blue suitcase and the fact that she's dressed in pretty much one color again, Juliet's outfit is lovely. The studded grey satchel and grey Manolos lend themselves nicely to the cropped black shearling, and the sweater dress looks gorgeous on her. However, the real star in Juliet's look is…

Her hair and makeup. She may have had to learn to do her own hair, but damn is she good (perhaps Orlando Pita is hiring?). Juliet's makeup is understated and gorgeous as well - it's a shame Jenny didn't stick around long enough to learn a lesson or two (about hair and makeup, not scheming) from Juliet.

The tousled locks, red, tear-filled eyes, and plaintive, "We're nobodies" had us actually feeling sorry for Juliet. Her loose, studded black sweater looks both comfy and chic.

A shot of the grey and black sweater dress, because it looks cozy, tasteful, and looks great on Juliet.

And one last shot - Breakfast (okay, lunch) at the Basses, anyone? This is the non-judgjing breakfast club (sans Chuck who is busy getting his luggage together) plus Dan. Plus, the tableware is gorgeous.

The Townie - Part 2 of 2 - The Not-So-Picture-Perfect Families

I'll admit I didn't recognize Anne at first. Quelle surprise, our resident Park Ave wife has experimented with her hair! The soft waves are a nice departure from her poker straight locks, and my commentary on the rest of her outfit continues in the same vein. Wool skirt of appropriate length, and j'adore her swarovski bedazzled top. Almost as a substitute for her customary pearls, the stones (we'll refrain from calling them rhinestones out of respect for Anne) are both understated and fun.

A closeup of the neckline, because I love it that much.

At Bass Industries' holiday party, Anne continues to amaze. Dressed in a tweed black shift with an accent rosette at the neckline, I can't find any fault with her sartorial choices. It's the perfect soirees-are-more-important-than-my-embezzling-devious-husband outfit.

The back of the dress, and Anne's fabulous new hairstyle!

Nate can't seem to get enough of plaid. Here he is wearing a navy and red plaid shirt, which probably matches the dozen other plaid button-ups in his closet…and Rufus or Dan's. He even wears this to the Lily's holiday fête, and I'm surprised Anne didn't comment on his lack of appropriate dress.

Near the end of the episode, Nate changes into yet another plaid shirt. It's so boring and repetitive I included a picture of his double-breasted camel coat instead. Because this is just miles better than his plaid shirt. If you're really eager to see more of Nate's plaid, you can check it out in the picture of the breakfast table.

Usually the best dressed of all the characters - and the very epitome of a Fifth Avenue mother, Lily's dress for the Post interview fell short. For goodness' sakes, it looked as though she ran out of dresses and had her tailor pin together a tablecloth for a quick, oddly draped dress that doesn't fit her at all.

The necklace, only adds to the confusion. It actually looks like more of a tangled mess than anything - as though a three-year old went into her jewellery box and instead of untangling the pearls and pendants, Lily simply threw the whole mess on.

Coming back from the draped disaster, Lily wears this gorgeous crimson red shift for Bass Industries' holiday party. Not only is it appropriately festive, but the gathered pleats are just lovely.

Although I do have to wonder how Lily's ears can support the weight of those diamonds. I wonder if these are contenders for the Biggest Earrings on the Show. The contestants? Lily and Vanessa, of course. Except one while dons van Cleef & Arpels, the other wears flea-market jewellery.

Afternoon judgment call? Check. Tousled, windblown hair with too much product? Check. Cashmere grey sweater? Check. Looks like Rufus' got all the makings of a Brooklynite-turned-Upper-East-Sider.

Much like his son, *yawn*. Not much to say about the black suit and olive green shirt - although his walking away from Lily near the end was heartbreaking.

Being the supportive little brother that he is, Eric visits Serena at the Ostroff Centre and promises that there'll be no "Aunt Carols in Miami". A little confused on a few points -
1) why would Serena want people to know she's in the Ostroff Centre?
2) why has she not brushed her hair? She's beginning to resemble Jenny from the back
3) why is Eric wearing Nate's jacket again? (see: Bethany's Gaslit recap)
and 4) why is he borrowing Rufus' plaid shirt and cardigan?
'Tis a mystery, friends.

A closer look at Eric's ensemble. The tortoiseshell buttons make me even more convinced this is Nate's jacket, and the plaid and cardigan need no further mention. Okay, I admit, I wanted to show this picture to give you guys a peek at Blair's beret. The rose design is just stunning - and I'd like to point out that Chuck wears a pocket-rose-square later on.

With his brown suit, plum shirt, and champagne flute, Little Eric looks all grown up. Not according to Lily, however, who decrees that "Somewhere between a Marlins jersey and the absolute truth, lies the better part of decorum. Becoming an adult is about learning the distinction". Wise words, Mrs. Lily van der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey.

While in rehab, Serena seems content to forgo her sequins obsession for something more subdued. Here she is in a brown sweater, with subtle gold threading that I like to call grown-up sparkle. She's going a bit too far with the monochromatic colors (is she trying to emulate Juliet?) of her pants and knee-high boots, but overall one of her better outfits. Excepting that necklace, of course.

Total count of ostentatious too-large necklaces on the episode: 3. Is the costume department attempting to make the most of Vanessa's absence by giving her jewellery to the other female characters? Serena's necklace is another jumble of shells, silver rope, and I'm not really sure what else.

Apologies for the blurry picture, but capturing dancing Serena is no easy task. The outfit was too gorgeous to pass up, however. We get another look into boarding-school-S, aka, sequin-wearing-unbrushed-hair-absinthe-drinking S. Take away the absinthe and you may have Serena of today. So yes, apparently Serena's sequin obsession extended into her boarding school days. However, unlike her very last outfit, this one is sequins done right. The unbuttoned striped button-up and loosened tie is so very S, and the high-waisted linen shorts and patterned tights could have been borrowed from B's closet.

Writing this recap, I've come to realize exactly how much I miss Gossip Girl's take on school uniforms. Ridiculous, yes, but they were oh-so-stunning. I had my doubts about this outfit at first (plaid, stripes, and tweed?), but Serena pulls it off as only she can with thick woollen tights, oxfords, and a loosened tie (of course).

Serena's boarding school outfits continue to amaze - they are a welcome respite from the sequins and macaron-baring skirts. The skirt pictured here, cranberry wool to my eye, looks to be in the same vein of barely-covering-her-macaron, but she pairs it with my favourite tights of the episode - grey and black houndstooth. Also noteworthy are her covetable navy bag and cranberry pennyloafers. But what is that blue polka-dotted thing around her neck? An odd necklace? An addition to her tie? A cravat?! Another mystery.

Ok, we get it. Serena is an alien. There really is no other way to explain how she looked fabulous post-overdose, manages to not freeze despite being pants-less most of the time, and absolutely adorable with wet hair. Her coercion, however, was more petulant than adorable.

After all the wonderfully preppy-slash-sequined goodness of her boarding school outfits, we get…this.
First, props to S for remembering to wear tights in this weather, and her olive coat has nice buttons. That knitted grey thing? It's not a scarf, but a continuation of Serena's rehab wear - a knitted heather grey shrug. See below for a picture. And that is where the passably-ok aspects of her outfit ends. Her cream top is burdened by a metallic-y breastplate that complements the olive coat - but not anything else. And of course Serena would think an itty-bitty sequined skirt that isn't sure if it's supposed to be gold or silver (it's decided to be both! Hey, at least S chose Dan instead of flip-flopping between Dan and Nate) is appropriate for visiting her ex-teacher-slash-lover.

A look at the knitted shrug - Serena's rehab wear is so very cozy-looking.

Mini Recap: The Townie

Wherin Lily is finally rewarded for her outstanding parenting skills...

Party du Jour
Lily's Holiday Party, complete with dirty laundry airing!

Best Line
It seems to me that Blair had plenty of good zaps while road tripping with Dan, yet no one line sticks out.  I did like her "Let me consult the GPS...oh, wait...that's me" zinger.

Best Outfit
I just adored Lily's holiday dress, but since I couldn't find a photo of it, pictured at left is my #2 choice - it's been so long since we had a trendy school uniform to ogle.

Headshaker
Blair and Dan roadtripping?  Funny.  Blair and Dan in a relationship? No. No no no no no.

Steph is making her debut...check it out this Thursday!