Episode Synopsis: It’s “back to school” time on the Upper East Side. But instead of stopping by the Columbia University bookstore to discuss Gossip Girl’s web redesign, Blair and Serena’s time is spent focusing on the ultra secret and exclusive university club Hamilton House. Go to class ladies and stop worrying about Juliet! She only wears beige; she isn’t much of a threat. Meanwhile, over in Brooklyn, Vanessa and Dan discuss what to do with baby Milo (I vote they take him out of the monkey outfit that he has been in for two episodes). Fast forward to Fashion’s Night Out. S and B expose Juliet by staging a public fight and Chuck introduces Eva to Lilly and the fam. The episode ends with neutral color loving Juliet visiting a hot inmate in jail.
Gossip Girl is down! Blair can't start school without her trusty digital sidekick. Good thing Dorota studied Computer Science at University. She’ll know JUST how to fix this!
I usually just turn the computer off and hope it works when I start it again.
Welcome to Columbia ladies! S and B are looking rather collegiate today.
It hurts to say this but I actually like Serena’s DVF batwing dress. It is effortlessly paired with a woven belt and a beautiful Nancy Gonzalez Glazed python tote. I hope that Serena’s classes are close to each other because her cut out leather heels seem a touch impractical.
I want to love Blair’s ensemble. Gucci and animal print seem like a match made in heaven, but not this time. I really don’t like the cut of this piece or the ombre effect of the fabric (it kind of just looks like a sick cheetah). But all is not lost, her Mulberry Alexa Bag is chic and fab.
Clearly Serena tried to build some extra commute time into her schedule by skipping her blowdry and highlights. Yikes.
Enter Hamilton House- B is so happy to see some familar faces.
Look, it’s Penelope! Although her attitude is rotten, she certainly has on a cute outfit. I love the cream color and the variety of fabrication. I just wish that her jacket wasn’t so thick. With the layering and the belt added in, it kind of looks like someone gained the freshman 15. Don’t worry Penelope, I heard that eye rolling burns like 50 calories.
Judging by the look of disgust, Serena and Blair obviously noticed Penelope’s layering problem too.
Surprise! Juliet, the taupe queen, is the keymaster. Wait a minute.... If Juliet and Nate are both in this secret society why did they just meet last week? Exactly how big is this “exclusive” society? I smell a rat.
What’s in the bag? Blair’s Tiffany Key Crown Pendant, that’s what. Poor S didn't get one. Don’t worry Serena, just hop in a cab and head to Tiffany’s. At $1,500 a pop, you can buy your own.
Cue cell phone rings.
And she’s back…. Check your phone! Gossip Girl miraculously made her entrance right when Blair got her Hamilton House key. The new GG upgrades include live video feed and some sort of Chuck Bass GPS tracking system.
Meanwhile outside of Hamilton House...
Why is Nate so in to plaid this season? Yawn. He does seem rather agitated though. “I thought the only thing he got upset about was a badly-rolled joint.” Guess he doesn't like Serena anymore.
Hold the phone. Penelope and the Minions are wearing white ankle socks and heels. Looks like Blair got in to Hamilton House just in time. Save them B!
Blair seems to be moving fast. I would be too if I were wearing this hot mess of an outfit. Ugh. Blair, did you leave your style in Paris? I wonder what the Minions would think if they knew that she was wearing a Charlotte Ronson for JC Penny skirt? Floral doesn’t seem like a good cure for a “gin and attention” hangover.
And Serena is back to her old pantless tricks. This time she is wearing a horrible high-waisted floral skirt.
Don’t even get me started on the heinous denim vest. Gag.
Again with the beige! Last week we saw Juliet doing the tag clipping and reattaching- I can only guess that she buys and return clothes. So what is with the overly neutral wardrobe? Go big or go home. I like the Yigal Azrouël dress but would it kill her to wear some color? They only thing exciting about this look is the pair of blue Dolce & Gabbana leopard print denim heels.
Here comes trouble! At first glance I loved Serena’s Jenny Packham dress. It is dramatic, sexy, and perfect for Fashion Week.
But as the scenes progressed I started to think it didn’t fit her very well. It isn’t really flattering in the chest area- although S was so pumped up with Hamilton House rage that I guess she didn’t care.
First ankle socks with heels and now these shiny animal print Betsey Johnson dresses. Minions, I am beginning to worry about you. Add in a bumpit and a fake tan and they could be Jersey Shore does FNO. Oy!
News Alert: The taupe queen is without her namesake color. Thank goodness the FNO people made her wear that Theory t-shirt.
She kind of looks like she wants to hurl that hair extension at Serena and Blair. No dice. Violence is obviously not part of her top secret plan.
Watch it Juliet, Blair and Serena have assembled an army of sequined troops to fight you if you get out of line. Dorota is there too and she has impressive computer espionage skills.
You better back the f up.
Go makeout with Nate instead and then visit your shady inmate friend.
Of Nate's kiss with Juliet: “Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they can settle for catfish” Gosh B, why do you have to be such a b?
P.S. I love Blair’s Valentino Sequined Tunic Dress and the Badgley Mischka necklace. It took until the end of the episode, but she finally got it right.