Episode Synopsis: Serena and Blair are still recovering from heartbreak the way any 19 year old does – with shopping, eating, and cute waiters. Of course, S and B get to do it in Paris rather than the local mall, but it’s the same difference. Along the way, Serena finds out she’s going to Columbia, and Blair lands a date with a prince, then manages to self-destruct in a magnificently B way. Back on the UES, Georgina and Dan are caring for baby Plot Contrivance, Nate is working his way through Chuck’s little black book, and Rufus is still insufferable.
You know, just the usual chaos. Welcome back.
I am ridiculously jealous of Leighton and Blake. The only thing better than getting to shoot two episodes in Paris is getting to have a wardrobe montage while filming in Paris.
If not for that opening shot, this dress would have filled me with hope. It’s pretty, it’s bohemian, she’s wearing a big floppy hat … it’s very first season Serena, before her wardrobe started trying too hard.
Serena in her natural state: without pants or a hairbrush. At least, in this case, it makes sense – she’s being all artsy, drawing a very pretty, very naked Frenchman. I’m sorry to report that the prop department gave her an actual charcoal drawing. I was really hoping that she had drawn a stick figure, second grade-style.
The cage dress. Oh, the cage dress. In that first picture of Blair and Serena, it’s not terrible. I don’t like it, but I can see how she might have decided it would be a good thing to wear.
Except, when she’s reclining, it’s doing very unflattering, uncomfortable things to her chest. It goes from being a cage dress to a sparkly bondage dress. For someone who puts so much effort into displaying her breasts, this seems to be a terrible misstep.
Okay, so when Jen was livetweeting the episode (@YKYLF), she wrote “Wow. @YWMTWearWhat is going to have a field day with S's coral pants on this week's YKYLF recap.” When I read the tweet, I laughed. Then I saw the pants.
I shouldn’t have laughed.
The one time Serena chooses to wear pants – seriously, the one time – she wears these?? Did she buy them from a Miami Vice auction? Because that’s the only place you could find this color. This isn’t even coral, it’s some ungodly coral/neon pink alliance. Did Blake forget Eric Daman’s birthday? Run over his puppy? Because those are the only reasons I can think of why she is wearing these in not just one, but several scenes. We get the gorgeous green dress for fifteen seconds, but Serena visits every store in Paris wearing pants last seen on a clown on stilts.
Also: how tiny do those pants make her head look? I guess that’s a new “figure fix” – is your head too big? Wear gigantic, bright coral pink, high-waist pants to create the illusion of a smaller head!
It’s like these pants were engineered to be the least flattering pants in the world. I can’t prove it, but my guess is Karl Lagerfield is behind the plot.
Serena, all dressed up to go on a date. Does Serena have an aunt who lives in Boca that we don’t know about? Because I’m guessing that’s who loaned her that sparkly jacket. I bet you it has matching slacks with a drawstring.
Do love her necklace though – the jewelry and hats in this episode have been amazing.
So, what else is Serena wearing on her date, you might wonder? Well, I’m glad you asked.
Nothing. She is not wearing pants.
I know we’ve all joked about how Serena forgot to wear pants, or that her legs are impervious to cold. But seriously, this is a code red pantsless situation. She is intentionally not wearing pants on a date with a prince’s friend. You know how sometimes, you look in your closet and feel like you’ve got nothing to wear? Yeah, well, apparently Serena decided she had nothing to wear, then left the house.
I take back everything I said about that jacket – it’s not borrowed from an aging Floridian aunt. Clearly, this is Serena’s outfit for the new Bob Fosse tribute she’s staging at the Moulin Rouge.
The only good thing: at least she wasn’t sitting in wet clothes after Blair pushed in her in the fountain.
This is the face you make halfway through dinner with a prince, when you realize that:
1) You forgot to brush your hair before leaving the house.
2) You are not wearing pants.
3) Despite not brushing your hair and failing to wear pants, you still look less crazy than your best friend.
Speaking of … Blair. Oh, Blair. Can we talk for a second?
You are in France. No – you are in Paris. Remember that scene in Funny Face, when Audrey is running down the steps in the red dress, telling Fred Astaire to take the picture?
This is not that dress. In fact, none of your wardrobe is that dress.
I mean, this dress is kind of cute. I like the neckline, and any one of the 12 prints, but – you’re wearing like, 12 different patterns. Who are you, Vanessa Abrams?
Again, with the not looking like Audrey. Did Forever 21 start a line for intergalactic warrior princesses? Because I can’t figure out where else you would buy this thing.
I’m going to pretend that the reason your wardrobe has gotten so edgy is because you’re trying to look scary and unapproachable – combative, after all the drama and pain that went down a few months ago. Because this is not a look that works, and I need to hold out the hope that it will go away once you stop being dark and twisty.
God I love this outfit. I love bright solids, and the lime green suit … dress … thing – I don't know what it is, because we only see it for a few seconds. It’s like Serena’s green dress – why do we get 10 seconds of this dress, but an entire scene with the poufy multi-patterned horror? Also, where can I buy that purse? I demand answers.
I want to like this dress. It’s not terrible. It’s just very meh. Is she supposed to blend in with the painting? Because she sure doesn’t stand out against it.
I take it back: I don’t want to like this dress. The waistband is too broad, the shape doesn’t do much for her, and the pattern is too autumn-ish for a scene where Blair is catching the eye of a prince. I’d like the necklace on a different neckline, but again, it just doesn’t work. I’m a little worried that her wardrobe has caught trying too hard from Serena’s wardrobe.
So, what does Blair, worshipper of Audrey Hepburn, wear on her big date? Her big date in Paris? Her big date in Paris with a prince?
I know, Blair. I’m disappointed, too. Again, the harsh shape from the purple dress. It’s not feminine. it's matronly, like the Politician's Wife outfits she wore last year, except it's much harsher. It’s couture Politician's Wife, but it’s not Blair.
Actually, it's very Serena - although Serena would have the hem taken up and the neckline lowered.
And it still feels a little space invader-ish. Also, her bun is seriously the size of her head. I don’t think she brought a purse, I think she just stowed her lip gloss in that mass of hair.
Yes, Blair. My thoughts exactly.