Treasure of Serena Madre 1 of 3: Serena & the Vanderbilts

Episode Synopsis: This episode contains one of the most brilliant moments in Gossip Girl history.  I'm talking, of course, about the three minutes of genius that took place around the Thanksgiving tables.  The whispering!  The accusations!  Rufus' oblivion!  Plus!  We had Cece and Eleanor!  Exclamation points!!!  Oh, the rest of the episode?  Serena and Tripp are two seriously dumb mofos.  That's about all you need to know.

Gasp!  Oh my goodness!  Serena, is that you?  Wearing an outfit that’s appropriate for business?

Well, that's a relief...Camel toe-inducing pants save the day!  Thank goodness, S.  For a minute there I thought you'd gone native.

Speaking of girly bits, whenever someone tells me my coat appears to be embroidered with them, I get this same look on my face.

Serena, again with the appropriateness!  This hairstyle is lovely and the dress you’re wearing for Thanksgiving appears to be...dare we say it?  Demure.

Aaaaand just like that, it’s not.  Yes, this is an excellent choice of attire for a) a family function where b) your luv-ah will be there with his current wife.  I’m sure she won’t suspect a thing when she sees you in this dress.  Why, it’s practically Amish.

Nate does casual cool so well.  Good shoes and a coat with grey jeans and a slim-cut plaid shirt.  Big ups, Nate.

Tripp’s hair is going places, man.  You can’t keep it down!  It’s gonna head somewhere northwest of Tripp’s head as soon as it possibly can.  Look, it’s inching that way already!

I assume this grin is the result of seeing Serena's Skanksgiving day dress.

Maureen looks awkward.  Maybe it’s the summer floral combined with black tights and a wool jacket.  Or maybe it’s because she’s standing in the presence of The Other Woman.

No, it’s her outfit.

Treasure of Serena Madre 2 of 3: Waldorf & Co (Blair, Chuck, Eleanor, Dorota)

This was a solid Blair episode.  Nearly everything she wore was on point, starting with this charming coat paired with patterned tights, pointed heels, and a splashy red bag.

...and this flattering blue sheath...

...close up of the patterns on the sheath and tights...

...moving on to this fabulous coat.  I’m positively swooning over it.  In fact, I do believe I can be bribed with it.  The rich texture and color, the princess cut, the cap sleeves...it’s perfection.

Here’s the only bobble in an otherwise perfect episode.  This outfit has potential.  Great tights and necklace.  The cut and pattern of the dress are nice, but the fabric itself appears to very stiff.  For instance, the fabric has folded itself in such a way that Blair appears to be wearing culottes.  I’m pretty sure those haven’t come back in style.  Yet.

Hey, GG viewers!  Did you know that Chuck is now a Big Important Hotel Owner?  And as such, he must always wear a suit and tie?

“One of these eighteen year olds is not like the other....”

Wearing a tie to Thanksgiving = good.  Great, in fact.  I love when people dress up for the holidays.  The wide paisley tie is a good focal point.  Also, I have decided that Chuck should wear more brown.  It makes him look like less of a tightass.

Lady Eleanor!  Where have you been all season?  So nice to see you again, and with a fab bag, to boot.

This might be my favorite Eleanor look to date.  Flattering color, beautiful accessories....oh GG writers, please don’t send Queen E away again.  Please?  For me?

She doesn’t get featured on YKYLF very often, but I must give my favorite secondary character a shout out for getting into the spirit of the season.  Dobra, Dorota.

Treasure of Serena Madre 3 of 3: All the Rest (Jenny, Lily, Cece, Vanessa, Gabriela)

People do not lounge around their homes in high heeled boots.  They just don’t, even if the boots are fabulous and elevate an already cute outfit.  Believability FAIL.

::Pause.  Blink, blink:: 

No.  Just, no.

Lily is quickly becoming my GG wardrobe crush. Classic style with a modern twist.

It’s like one of those “Who wore it better?” features.  I vote Team Lily.  Maureen looks lost, as though the jacket is wearing her.

Oh Lily, can you do no wrong?  You are the very picture of an Upper East Side hostesses.  Perhaps one who ditches her guests and hides in the den drinking scotch, but let’s not split hairs.

Here’s a shot of Cece on video chat.  She looks like a librarian.  A librarian whose heart “pumps gin and secrets” (thank you, Dan) but a librarian nevertheless.

Ah, this is better.  Polished, poised, and a bit poisonous.

I have mixed feelings about this coat.  On the one hand, it’s colorful and funky.  On the other hand, it looks like a peacock threw up.  Let’s take a closer look....

I’m going with regurgitation du peacock.

Help me understand something.  Vanessa was sitting around at home in this outfit, had a fight with her mom, and rushed over to Dan’s in this outfit, and is now baking in this outfit?  Outside of that preposterousness, I will say that the purple is lovely on Vanessa, and even the gargantuan necklace isn’t so bad.  That skirt, though...best take it off before flour gets all over it.  Or my retinas explode.  Whichever comes first.

Ya know...I don’t hate this!  It could do without the coin medallion and with some smaller earrings, but overall it’s in keeping with Vanessa style without being too offensive.

Somewhere, there’s a photo of me on the floor at about 18 months, with my mother’s costume jewelry strewn all about.  I am wearing approximately four necklaces and two bracelets.  I grew out of that stage.  Gabriela did not.

Well, this isn’t so bad.  It’s sort of festive, and is a bit less fortune teller-ish...

No, nevermind.  She’s still giving Miss Cleo a run for her money.

PREVIEW: Treasure of Serena Madre

While the rest of the country celebrating Actual Thanksgiving last Thursday, Gossip Girl Thanksgiving (complete with Lily's cold kitchen) is celebrated this Monday...

Nate and Dan have a reeeeeally uncomfortable conversation. Well, uncomfortable for the viewers. I suppose when you're in the middle of that bromance it's hard to see things clearly. (vid clip)

Rufus left his balls in Brooklyn. (vid clip)

Tripp and Serena continue being stupid. (vid clip)

Extended trailer here

Catch YKYLF HMFIC (Head Mocker of Fashion In Charge...what did you think we meant?) Jen's live Tweeting on Monday night and recap later this week.