Episode Synopsis: In this episode we learn some valuable lessons: the third in your threesome is always a stranger, leggings are not pants, to say no to diplomat's sons and drugs (or did we), and that it's okay to sleep with your congressman if he's cute and his wife is a bitch. And the writers find yet another way to creatively work in the phrase "I'm Chuck Bass" (because even Europeans know what that mean).
Last week's threesome was trés scandalous avec un menage à trois. But this week we got the morning after. Well, maybe not the very next morning. No one needed to see that walk of shame. What we did get was Dan's walk of Pimpness:
Right. Worst pimp ever. I sort of dig the jacket, but that dude wears more plaid than all of Seattle in 1991. To the wardrobe department I say: Enough. He's from Brooklyn. We get it. Now can we get him some better shirts and stop bogarting Rufus' "Lincoln Hawk" style?
Oh, and the worn out henleys aren't any better. Neither was the hat or the emo scarf.
God. That whole outfit was just embarrassing. Even Pete Wentz gave up on those damn scarves.
I guess, in Dan's defense, he needs the plaid if he's going to Tisch:
Maybe it's because I'm Canadian that I wasn't really aware of Tisch, but apparently plaid is de rigeur. Except for Paul and Willow...but we'll get back to them.
But onto numero deux in our threesome: Olivia (I'm saving the best for last). Honestly, I struggled with Olivia's outfit all episode long. Do I love it? Do I hate it? Is it a dress? Why the brown fringed purse with a black outfit? So many deep questions.
I did kind of hate her jacket. It looks like it should be denim, but it's not.
Let's take one more look at the dress
Seriously. I can't decide. All I can figure out is that she's raiding Vanessa's jewelry box again:
However, unlike her roomie, she knows when to stop and didn't add five necklaces to go with the earrings.
Olivia did nail it with her dress during the Gaga and the Seven Dwarves:
Great dress. No idea what was going on with that hair though. Rat's nest? It really is time for her to get out of Vanessa's room before she starts mixing and matching patterns and wearing all her jewelry at once. Because another month with Vanessa and Olivia could end up looking like this:
Solid coat with patterned skirt, honey. Solid. Or, solid colour skirt with the plaid blanket you're wearing as a coat.
Although, that scene almost fooled me into thinking that Vanessa went easy on the jewelry. But she didn't
I really enjoyed Amanda's accessory count from her recap of the Grandfather Part II, so let's play "Count how many pieces of jewelry Vanessa wears at one time": two necklaces, but one is double stranded so we're going bring that to three. Two bracelets. A ring that takes over two fingers (I like big cocktail rings, but I don't make them compete with 5 other items). This now brings us to six pieces of jewelry. Her hair is hiding the dangly earrings. And I'm still trying to decide if those were strings attached to her dress or a really long black necklace, but since it's competing with the dangly necklace, I'm going to call it an accessory. That brings us to a grand total of eight pieces, or, in Vanessa's world, a casual day with only a couple of accessories. Sort of like the days when the rest of us decide to wear just earrings.
And then there are the boots:
And I give up. There is just no hope for Vanessa Abrams.