Rufus Getting Married, 1 of 3 - Blair, Serena & Lily

Episode Synopsis: Lots of characters this episode – Olivia is the only character “visiting an Aunt in Florida” (or, in this case, travelling to Japan), but a fairly simple plot. Rufus and Lily have hit a rough patch, so geniuses that they are, they decide the best thing to do is get married immediately. As Serena and Blair scramble to plan the wedding, Chuck and Bree team up to take down Carter. Georgina reappears, threatening to reveal Scott's secret unless Vanessa helps break up Dan and Olivia. Also, Eric gets at least three lines.

Serena starts off her morning in a tight dress – shocker – and a fabulous pair of red heels. If Carter wants to sell them to pay off his gambling debts (spoiler alert!), I’d be interested in making an offer.

Her accessories are great all around – love the giant studded bag and the long layered necklaces. I’m impressed that she has managed to find the one dress that, despite having a high neckline, still makes it look like you’re showing off cleavage. 

This dress is what separates Serena from us mere mortals. Whenever I plan my mother’s impromptu wedding, I wear jeans and a cute tank top, for maximum comfort. When Serena plans her mother’s impromptu wedding, she wears a cleavage-baring tight blue dress and a necklace made out of Roman shields. 

When I saw this dress, my first instinct was disbelief. Did Serena van der Woodsen really wear a dress that was wedding-appropriate? A dress that showed off only her cleavage, rather than most of her legs as well? 

No, no she did not. Good to see you’re keeping it wedding-appropriate, S. 

All the girls, in this ep, are wearing heavy wedge heels at the wedding. I’m not sure whether this is for comfort (having to stand on their feet for hours) or for fashion, but I am not a fan. I like a sexy stiletto, not a clunky wooden block. 

Love the hair, though. The tiny braids in an updo work for me, and her hair comes the closest to looking done out of all the teens. 

Blair doesn’t have a lot to do in this Humphreywoodsen-centric episode,  but her obvious  disdain for Bree almost makes up for it. Here she is at dim sum in a lovely floral dress with a long strand of pearls. Notice the way she’s clutching the table out of sheer hatred. 

This episode really made me notice how great the makeup artists are. Yeah, there’s no snark for this picture, but don’t worry – the makeup snark comes later.

Blair leading the girls in planning Lily and Rufus’s wedding: we never get a good view of her dress, although it appears to be a full skirt. I do love how, as soon as she’s tasked with anything, she changes into her “serious” wardrobe – see her prim librarian outfit from last week. At least this time her high-neckline is cute and frilly. Note: there was not a single good shot of her face in this scene, where she’s not mid-order.

I don’t know why her otherwise stellar wardrobe fell apart at the wedding, but man, did it. Dip-dye within the same color palette makes sense. Dip-dying from a pea green to dark puce? Yes, you can do it, apparently, but that doesn’t mean you should. Love the roses on the hem and the exposed tulle, and would love the dress if it were either of the two colors.  I mean, really, Blair. Two colors? Who do you think you are, Vanessa Abrams? 

And finally, the bride herself, Lily. Love the shot of an old wedding photo – although, I was so hoping to see Klaus’s face! It’s interesting, though, to see how little her style has changed.  

Love the high neckline on her – she has a beautiful neck for that cut. Also, does saying "she has a beautiful neck" sound really creepy? I kind of think it does. Oh well.

Getting ready the day of the wedding. Just the slightest view of dark jeans – Lily Bass owns jeans? The editors at <i>Lucky</i> must be thrilled to see someone actually wearing a tie-neck blouse  - they’ve been pushing the style for ages.

And finally, the wedding dress – a beautiful color and style. Jenny would totally have won the Project Runway challenge. 

From the back, a deep scoop that leaves me impressed with her support garments – I guess Hollywood Tape does work.  I have to say, I do think this dress is gorgeous.

And Lily teaches us that, if your hair normally looks well-groomed, we will all clearly recognize that, when it’s messy, it’s a styling choice. Take note, Vanessa.

Rufus Getting Married, 2 of 3 - Jenny, Vanessa, & Georgina

My first instinct here is to tell Jenny to stand up straight. But I realize that, if I were wearing this outfit, I’d probably be slouching too. It’s a slouchy tube maxi – I didn’t realize that tube tops could slouch. 

The problem with putting Little J next to Serena in any shot is that it showcases exactly how a blonde’s makeup should and shouldn’t be done. See how Serena’s hair is healthy and not straw-like, Jenny? See how her makeup is natural and flattering, without overpowering her face? See how her lipstick is appropriate for daytime?

I was surprised that Jenny couldn’t predict the outcome of Rufus and Lily’s wedding, given that she’s dressed like Miss Cleo.

And those dreaded heavy shoes again.

Checking back in on Jenny’s makeup at the end of the episode in the hopes that she’s learned a thing or two from being in the same shot as Serena … oh well.

This week, Vanessa’s wardrobe morphs from prints and multi-colored to – wait for it – a monochromatic dress! Take this journey with us, won’t you? Starting with this busy number.

I especially like her layering of accessories. Because who doesn’t wear a large plated necklace, several bracelets, a cuff, and two huge rings? It’s like how old women wear all their jewelry when they travel so it doesn’t get stolen, except Vanessa does it every day.

Showing up at the Humphrey loft in a very cute top (still multichromatic, but at least there’s no print). She loses me with the cutoffs, though. 

And the giant elephant necklace.

And then this. The first article of clothing Vanessa Abrams has ever worn that I want to wear. It’s yellow. The whole thing is yellow. There’s no splashes of lime green, there’s no 80s prints, nothing. It’s just yellow, and it’s adorable. 

Of course, she’s gone to her magic storage system  to pull out as many necklaces and bracelets as possible. 

And she’s wearing literal chandeliers for earrings. Does this girl not own a single normal-sized accessory? Was she raised in the land of giants, and all her accessories are actually hand-me-downs from her Amazonian mother?

I love that Evil Georgina’s color scheme is purely black and grey. So chic, so evil.

 Evil though she may be, Georgina can teach a few of the girls a lesson. See, Vanessa, this is how you do chunky jewelry well. This necklace does not need four others piled on, along with doorknocker earrings and two dozen bracelets.  And Jenny, notice how her face looks clean and natural, as if she’s not wearing any makeup at all. Try it.

On her date with Dan, again in all dark colors because she’s EVIL. And also in need of a haircut.

I love the red umbrella almost as much as I love the yellow one behind her – could that be the future Mrs. Mosby? 

Gladiator heels, perfect for crashing a wedding and making it all about yourself. I love how the rest of the gang is hot on her tail, as if none of the guys could outrun a girl strutting in heels ten feet ahead. Yes, watching her tell Rufus and Lily the truth was good, but watching Dan tackle her out of frame would have been better. 

Summary

Rufus Getting Married, 3 of 3 - all the rest

Chuck’s robe. Of course he has a robe like this. I’m just surprised it’s not satin.

 

When Chuck’s pants sit this high, it’s less “Gordon Gecko” and more “Larry King.” And where is his belt?

So much of Chuck’s wardrobe merits an “of course.” Of course he has a robe. Of course he has a purple suit. Of course he has an outfit specifically for giving massages. 

Back to a suit with matching pocket square. So much better than the suspenders.

I figured that the suspenders were his “casual wear,” and suits were his formal wear. Now, I’m just wondering if he has some sort of jacket aversion. 

So, Dan’s going through a big taupe phase. I’m not a fan. 

I’m also not a fan of his hair, which is starting to look like Kramer’s after all the showerheads were changed to low-flow. 

Love the tight jeans. And, to answer your question, yes, this is a totally different taupe shirt he’s wearing. 

I have no complaints about his suit here (except that he’s not wearing a belt, and it’s just getting weird. Where have all the belts gone??) In fact, if Dan could wear this sort of thing more often, I’d be wholly in support of it.

Nate, looking slick in a grey shirt at dim sum. Although, given how often he seems to talk about vampires and vampire movies these days, I’m starting to wonder if he’s keeping something from us. He knows vampires don’t ride on brooms, and he has Robert Pattinson’s hair. Do we know for sure Nate’s not a vampire? 

I’m not wild about the mis-matched jacket and pants. I’m even less pleased about the lack of a belt. 

The man of the hour, strutting into his loft after his fight with Lily. In the always-thrilling taupe.

I was hoping Lily and Rufus would work it out if for no other reason than that she’d make him get a haircut and make Jenny stop wearing horrible makeup. Seriously, Rufus is rocking some Swayze hair, and it’s not working. Unless he’s trying to look like he’s clinging to his youth, in which case, it’s perfect.

The day of his wedding, color-coordinated with his notepad.

Love the suit. But dear god, someone please either get this man a haircut or some styling gel. I mean, look at those bangs. Donald Trump has those bangs.

So glad to see Eric, even if he is wearing taupe. 

He looks sharp in his suit, though, and I’m sad we didn’t get more shots of him. Can we get an Eric web series or something? There is not enough of him. Maybe an Eric/Dorota spinoff. 

I love how the new mean girls are a little funkier now that they’re under the reign of Little J. 

Three of the four in animal print, with large heart pendant necklaces. 

And, of course, layered with a longer necklace. 

The daughter of investment bankers is sent away in a blur, but she has a fabulous bag that I wish I could have gotten a better shot of. 

Ugh. Bree. I’m on Blair’s side for this one. Do not like, will be glad to get rid of her. Here she is in a dress with some random sash and skin-toned lipstick. Because that’s a flattering look.

And wearing a low-cut floral maxi. What’s up with that, Bree? Don’t you know, only Serena is allowed to dress inappropriately for formal occasions? 

And the man she’s after, Carter. I blame him for Nate and Chuck’s lack of belts. 

No, really, what is up with his aversion to belts? Did he use all of them to settle his gambling debts? 

It’s so exciting to see Dorota in something other than her uniform. I love the giant hat.

Dorota-07, international woman of mystery. 

And of course Scott. Or, as I’ve taken to calling him, Oeyeliner Rex. Don’t care if it catches on, it amuses me. His clothes bore me almost as much as he does.