Goodbye Gossip Girl, 1 of 3 - Serena & Blair

(Note: this recap was written on 8/26/09, not the date shown above. It's dated as such to keep the episodes in order.)

Episode Synopsis: The kids graduate, the Mean Girls are silly, Serena declares war, and B&C FINALLY give the audience what they want.

Weee! Graduation day! Now we'll all be free of Gossip Girl FOREVAR, right?? The CB girls wear green robes, while the St Jude boys are in blue. For whatever reason, Serena has decided to match the boys' robes. While this is a pretty color on her, the neckline is utterly ug.

Want to see what the rest of the dress looks like? Here’s the back. I guess this is what Page Six girls wear to ceremonial occasions.

WTH?? This annoyed me to no end. Hello, suspension of reality! There is NO way this would have gotten past the St J/CB staffer who was posted as the Graduation Attire Police. If it was anything like my HS graduation, they weren’t letting anyone past with athletic shoes, much less cord-as-hair-accessory.

I don’t think they ever showed a long shot of this outfit. I’m sure it was fine.

Like it. Like the shoes she’s hold even more.

The above sweater tank with a Big Bag and blue jacket (leather? shiny denim? I can’t tell). Again - like it.

Chunky shoes, red tights, blue cardigan, multicolor top, yellow headband....did Blair go shopping with Vanessa?

BEAUTIFUL! Gorgeous! I just love it! Exclamation points!!

No, seriously. I adore this look. It has a bit of 1910s flair, and is sensual without being trashy.

Whoa, way too much mustard. Love each piece (but maybe not the metallic shirt) but not the ensemble

The green swing coat helps matters. But...tights with open-toed shoes? Don’t like.

Goodbye Gossip Girl, 2 of 3 - Mean Girls

Oh HELL no. This is just awful! Don’t they look like little girls playing dress-up with mom’s accessories? I completely agree with Blair’s “take off that scarf - you can see it from space” assessment.

Adding insult to injury, this scene is where, in my opinion, the most ridiculous plot point ever takes place. The Mean Girls tell Jenny about “the coronation” to become “queen” of the CB social scene. Really? Really?? How freakishly immature. This sounds like the type of arrangement 4th graders would tolerate for perhaps two days.

P.I.N. becomes P.I.N.E. with the addition of Emma, a character I REALLY do not like. She’s so vapid, plus she has smoker’s voice. Have you ever noticed that? Girlfriend sounds like she inhales two packs of Malboro reds before noon. Also, here she’s so smug about living on Park Ave, whereas in “There Might Be Blood” she was an out-of-towner who was all squeeeee! over riding in Chuck’s limo.

Anywho, her outfit isn’t so bad

Wait, I take that back. She has ostrich-butt, and blue tights to boot. I’m back to hating her.

Moving on. The accessories are less arresting when you see them with the full outfits, but P.I.N. could still stand to lose a piece or twelve.

“Duhhhhhh”
Olive? Who wears olive to a party??

::Hic:: I wuv Dan!
And we love the coral and turquoise combo on you, Drunk!Nelly.

::scheme scheme scheme::
I’m scheming for a way to destroy the purple caterpillar on your shoulder, Penelope.

“You biatches suck. I’m SO over this.”
I’m over the way the four of you coordinate, although your outfit is quite cute, Isabel.

Ladies Lunching! This would be classy and elegant, if not for the Elizabethan cuffs.

“Ooh, shiny headband! I can has?”
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know this is a fashion blog, not a character flaw blog. I need to remind myself of that.
::deep cleansing breath::
The applique rosettes and the pink headband are both prim, yet fun.  She does not appear to have ostrich-butt.

Is it a bow or a crumb catcher?

Just. No.  Is, I'm so sad we had to end things this way.  See you next season?

Goodbye Gossip Girl, 3 of 3 - All the rest

Hey Chuck..love the orange print tie (Hermes?) and coordinating shirt!

Hey Chuck...love the paisley tie and striped shirt!

Hey Chuck...love the, uh...pocket square and peonies?

Nate, looking cute in a suit and tie.

Nate, looking cute in a different suit and tie. WHY SO MUCH REPETITION???

Remember when Dan wanted to be a writer? In this scene he explains to his dad that he’s decided to chuck that dream and enroll in drama school. Here he is, off to dress rehearsal for the revival of Oklahoma!

Damnit, now I’ve got that song running through my head.

Eric looks terrific. But Jenny....on what planet is this ensemble appropriate for a daytime high school graduation ceremony? Alpha Skanktauri?

It’s clear that the Humphrey-Woodsens are now living together, because Eric has raided Rufus’ closet. He has, however, chosen to button up the flannel shirt and omit the leather jewelry. Jenny breaks out of her fashion box with a black & grey top, silver & pearl jewelry, red lipstick, and heavily lined eyes. Way to try something new, Little J.

“Who, me? Looking fabulous and chic? Oh, well...I suppose....”

This is Lily’s last carefully orchestrated “waist-up” shot. They really did give her some great jewelry to detract attention from her belly. Bra-vo, costume department.

Vanessa also does the matchy St Jude graduation gown thing, just like Serena. This amuses me. I do not know why.

As usual, too much going on in this ensemble. You’ve got a blue/bronze ombre dress, big earrings, and cool beads. Individually they’re great pieces, but paired together it’s just too. Damn. Much.

::gasp:: Dorota, my pills!
I LOVE this outfit! She looks just stunning in this color and the jewelry is funky without being tacky. I’m about to pass out with delight.

I even adore the painter’s palette purse.
Seriously, where is Dorota with the pills??

This is Stalker Scott, Lily and Rufus’ love child. He sort of dresses like Rufus the ‘90s Rocker, but with less flair. In fact, if it weren’t for the late 2000s cell phone in his hand, I’d swear that this actor was in some ‘90s show like Felicity or Party of Five.

Look, it’s Georgina! Hello, crazy girl! We don’t see much of her outfit, but I do like her bag.