On the Upper East Side, if everyone’s happy, you know something’s up. Blair and Nate 2.0 are planning to move in together (if Chuck doesn’t get in the way first), while Serena is head over heels for Southern sweetheart Gabriel (if only she could pin him down for five minutes already). Rufus wants to propose to Lily and may have a miraculous method of paying Dan’s way into Yale, but here’s the thing – if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Things are about to take a turn for the dastardly…let’s roll on with the show!
Love makes you look better, it's a simple matter of fact; for Serena, it's an incentive to seek out a hairbrush and a dress in that glorious deep blue that suits her so well. The nude leather jacket really lightens up the outfit, and I love her layered gold necklace. Snaps for Serena straight off the bat!
A thousand miles away from Sartorial City, I've decided to stop ridiculing Rufus' plaid obsession and focus on his facial expressions. Today: pensively shopping for an engagement ring.
Pensively trying to sell the gallery in a round neck tee.
Pensively gazing into the distance while wearing a brown coat with a cinnamon coloured scarf and some actually admissible leather gloves. Anyway...
I hope Gabriel knitted this cardigan himself, because there is nothing hotter than a man who knows how to purl. On the other hand, there are several things hotter than a man who covers a perfectly good pinstripe shirt with my granfather's favourite mandigan.
Lily seems slightly surprised by my snark. I'm slightly surprised that her bump has been so artfully concealed beneath a blanket, which also hides half a very busy blouse. I'll allow it since the floral pattern looks lovely on her, but Copacabana called. They want that jewellery back.
Gabriel has been invited to that gayest of all galas, a co-op meeting: this means Serena must shop!
She wears the central Vena Cava dress, which would be my choice too. Sure, it's tighter than a rubber band, but better than the other slumpy, slouchy choices.
Invited or not, Gabriel is constantly vamoosing from his lady's side, so they have a business meeting to discuss it. If not, Serena has simply decided to wear yuppie business meeting clothing in the middle of the day, though it's actually nice to see her in something structured and not so revealing.
For those of you watching season five, I think this hair was what Serena was going for at Blair's wedding.
Didn't quite work out, did it?
Gabriel does indeed attend the co-op meeting, dressed for a funeral! Yay! I love me a man in a suit, but a two piece in charcoal with a charcoal tie and a dove grey shirt do not a hunk make.
Whereas Lily attends the meeting dressed as a pregnant dominatrix.
Rufus is there, of course, pensively gazing at Gabriel in a blah hued shirt.
Once you co-op, you just can't stop - or else Chuck and Blair have been scheming behind Serena's back and summoned Poppy after seeing her kissing Gabriel. He spins a story about her using him as a boy toy in return for her investment contacts and declares his undying love for Serena. Everyone raises their eyebrows, even Poppy, seen here in what looks like a workout shirt stretched into a dress.
There is a necklace. It is unremarkable.
Rufus - having pensively invested all Dan's tuition money in Shady Southerner Gabriel - reflects on a shirt well chosen. It isn't plaid. This is a big step for Rufus.
Serena - having not-so-wisely invested her (ahem) time in Gabriel - finds out he didn't actually meet her that night at Butter and may not be who he says he is. Chin up, S, that's a very pretty bra. The ribbon detail is gorgeous.
"'Dis my 'oh shit' face wen I findz out ma boyfren dun wrooong!"
You're still stylin', S. Big gold buttons class up any walk of shame, while leather gloves hide even the worst sins. That blue scarf adds just the right pop of colour to this catastrophe.
As for Gabriel, he's officially turned into Con Man Ken. That hair, that jaw, those eyes...that only slightly questionable shirt and sweater combo...but wait, who's his Barbie?
Dun dun DUUUUUN!
Poppy and Gabriel are in cahoots, Serena isn't his dream girl, and that printed blouse is boho enough for me to love it. The toilet chain necklace, I'm not so big on, nor on Poppy's plan to play the victim and hang around to screw with Serena.
"'Dis my 'oh shit' face wen I findz out ma boyfren dun wrooong to his ex-girlfriend who was my friend who's now claiming he ran off with her money too! Also, why am I wearing a striped yellow and white shirt with grey, am I crazy?"
Yes, Victimised Barbie Serena. And things are about to get a whole lot crazier.